Bye Bye Big Boobies :) - London, GB

Wow.....I cant believe Its finally my turn to do this..

I have been an avid visitor to this wonderful site for a few months now, I honestly don't know what position I would be in now If I hadn't had the access to everyone's stories and experiences so firstly thank you...
I hope someone will find my story as equally helpful to them :)

So....my names Natasha and Im 23 years old (24 in 2weeks, 10 days after my op, what a present to myself!)
I have had enormous boobs for as long as I can remember, all through my school and college years I can remember them affecting the clothes I could wear and the problems they would cause me.

Im currently a size 36H...many people who now know im having the procedure done are shocked at first, they seem to be unsure as to why I would need it or "want" to have it done. If they then see my under my clothes they soon understand!
This is because I am the secret booby hostage, I have become a pro at strapping/pushing/hiding these horrible things. I know what clothes minimise the bulge and I have become accustomed to the worst posture possible, In order to hide them and save the myself the embarrassment.
I may also add that I haven't actually worn a bra for about 2 years...I LIVE in these HORRENDOUSLY ugly sport/support bras from Tesco. I feel most comfy in these because I feel it flattens and squashes my boobs so that they look a lot smaller but I pity my poor boyfriend who has to witness them! I don't feel attractive at all in them and I am so self conscious that I am really praying this changes my life....I am SO excited to finally go bra shopping and wear all of the pretty, feminine underwear that normal 20'somethings can wear :)

So not only is it the uncomfortableness and emotional feelings that I have to deal with... I am also a severe eczema sufferer. Eczema has now controlled and caused so much suffering in my life for the past 13 years. The main areas in which I suffer are my face, neck and shoulders. If I go to the gym I am having to wear THREE sports bras in one go, by the end of my session I am In so much pain from the stinging and the rubbing of the bra straps it causes bleeding splits across my shoulders and collar bone :(
I am really very worried about after the op as I know I will not be able to wash properly for several days. I usually shower at least twice a day to soak my skin and moisturise anything from 10-20 times a day as I constantly feel tight and sore. I wonder If any other eczema sufferers out there have suffered more during the recovery from their breast reduction?

I know there are many people out there who have a lot worse than me to complain about but a combination of it all really gets me down, more then I ever let out & Infact, I am now crying just writing this :'(
I think a mixture of emotions of maybe expressing myself to people who dont know me and the realisation that my op is in 6 days is just all coming to a head. Maybe this is a good release for me!

I am hoping to go down to a full DD size, I know my surgeon mentioned an E but I have heard how some people have been disappointed to find that their breasts are still too big. I know they have to be in proportion with your body and as I carry most of my weight around my stomach, Im still going to need a full breast to avoid the attention to my jelly belly!

I have also forgot to mention that I actually work in the hospital in which I will be having my op, my job is a Non Surgical Co-ordinator so I work in this Industry in a private hospital in London. Now many of you would assume this must be a lot easier for me but infact...its seems harder!

I think because I am aware of a lot of the things that can go wrong and incidents that have occurred, Im paranoid that something will happen to me! I have been grilling a lot of people at work but nothing compares to actually going ahead and being in that situation when the time comes..
I also feel that this site has been most realistic for me as people don't know you and are completely honest.

I am so excited for the change this operation will have on my life, I think that is what is keeping the nerves at bay.
No-one understands when Im in a foul mood trying to get ready to go out and Im repeating that "I have nothing to wear! Nothing fits me!!" tears are pouring and I feel exhausted from the 343943904304 outfit changes, to only then, remain feeling like a blob.
No-one understands when I complain of stabbing feelings in my chest in the morning where I feel Ive laid on my boobs all night and squashed my lungs.
No-one understands when I like to attach myself to the sun lounger on holiday because Im in an ill fitted bikini and Im too embarrassed to walk to the pool or sea as I feel everyone will look at me.
Im hoping someone out there can relate to me though...Its horrible feeling like your alone and that people cant relate.

I am lucky to have a great support network around me.. I have my mum who is the most amazing lady in the world who will be by my side throughout and my dad who I was slightly worried to have him find out at first, but after my mum explaining the reasoning, hes been great.
I have my lovely boyfriend around me who I know will be there to help me in everyway to recover. I must admit I have found it hard to make him understand where Im coming from and how Im feeling throughout this all. I took another reviewers advice and showed him this site as I thought it would be good for him to kind of be able to know what to expect..
Finally I have some amazing friends who have been great so far listening to me talking about boobs constantly for god knows how long.
And I have you all too :)

I will post up some before pics for you to all see along with some snaps of my beloved support bras.

Thank you for all of your support & for taking the time to listen to me rambling on...It really means a lot.

Good night..
Natasha x x x