PIP Removal and NO REPLACEMENT - London, UK

Firstly, I want to thank everyone that has posted on this website. I found it so reassuring and it really helped affirm my decision. I’ve gone on a fair bit so bear with me....here’s my story: I had implants in August 2002, at the age of 21, because I believed I needed them. I only wanted to go up to about a D and ended up a G cup! I never really liked them. In a bikini or naked I felt I looked good, they looked pretty natural but dressed I felt like Dolly Parton and never wore revealing things as just didn't feel comfortable doing so and there were so many amazing styles of clothes that made me look so much bigger than I am because of the size of my top half. I'd planned to, after the 20 years I could safely keep them in, have them removed....and then I found out I had the PIP implants. I'd been switching myself off to all the news reports about the PIP scandal thinking it was something that had happened to women with new implants, not something that had been going on for years. When I finally paid attention to the full report I looked on my surgeon's website and saw that he had posted a bulletin stating that between certain years he had indeed been using the PIP implants and I fell smack bang within that timeframe. I contacted the hospital and they were able to confirm that I did indeed have the offending PIP implants. I was gutted to say the least. I knew I was going to have them removed at some point but not now, not at 31! I planned for this when I was 40 and had a family and settled and O MY GOD!! I freaked just a little (a lot). I was lucky in that removal was being offered free of charge. Replacements would be £3,800. Had I have had them done 2 years later they would have been done for free, My surgeon was working on the basis that the nearer you got to 10 years of having them, the closer you would be to having them removed any way and so the cost of replacements went from free up to full price. If they were ruptured, the replacement would be free of charge. I stupidly began hoping they were ruptured. I’d just started a new job (literally weeks earlier) and the thought of having such an obvious sudden shape change in a small company where everyone notices EVERYTHING was terrifying. I also don’t cope well with anaesthetic and am difficult to wake and always sick and found it a scary experience. I have an amazing partner who has been hugely supportive of my decision. We're trying to clear debt and save for a future so don't have nearly £4k just sitting about but he offered to sell his Cello if I wanted to have replacements. I had the usual dramatic female thoughts of "how will he feel if I no longer have big boobs!?"....I joked that I was a form of false advertising. He kept quiet and said he’d support whatever I decided as wanted me to make the decision for myself. I knew I didn't want them, I was just scared at how I'd look - would I be deformed, would he still fancy me.....you know how it is ladies! We lay in bed one night and I asked him “what do you think I should do?” and he finally answered with something along the lines of “I think you should have them removed. This has been so stressful for you, can you imagine going through something like this when you have a family?”. I was so relieved and decided there and then that I was going to go ahead with a complete removal. My appointment with the surgeon was emotional. I didn’t feel he was too bothered about how hard this was on me and what I’d been through. I cried when he told me ‘they won’t look good, there will be a dip in the chest and sagging’. When I saw the picture of my breasts and how they’d looked before my first op, I cried more. They were amazing! Pert and perfect and what the hell had I been thinking or seeing to think I needed to be bigger. What a moron!! I told my close friends and my family. They were supportive despite my friends giving me the new nickname of ‘asbestos [RS bleep]’. Don’t be shocked, this is how my friends and I are, turning everything into a comedy sketch! It was good to be joking about it and they were also all amazing and constantly reassuring me that I was going to look great! I booked 4 days of work from a Thursday to Tuesday returning to the office Wednesday. These were the first days of holiday to use since joining in January. In the run-up to the op I started eating healthier to loose some weight (lost a half stone) to facilitate the lie that I was working on about my sudden physical change. I also wore loose clothes and minimising bras to hide my big bust as much as possible. People noticed the weight loss...I told them I was going to do a juice diet on my days off too....hmmm a juice diet that eradicates breasts? Let’s see how this works! Risky! I’m hoping that even if the big change is noticed, nobody is going to be gutsy enough to ask the new girl questions but the rumour mill will fly! The op! April 25th 2012 – Up early and nil by mouth which my other half needlessly did with me, bless him! The nurse that came to go over the procedure obviously hadn’t read my notes properly and when she realised I was having just a removal and not a replacement, the look on her face! Honestly, you’d think I’d just told her “I’m going to have a penis surgically attached to my forehead instead”. She was genuinely shocked and started asking questions about ‘why’ and all that fear I had resurfaced and had me blubbing again....which soon put a stop to her insensitive questions. Unhelpful and unprofessional. After my surgery, even wrapped up and in a gown I already liked my new shape! Seeing my breasts for the first time was a shock as there is a dip in the chest and the dressings underneath push them into an odd and unflattering shape but, in a sports bra, they were fine and I even still have a bit of a cleavage! I also noticed that I my arms fit better against my sides and don’t push against breast when I lift them up and down. And when my partner hugged me it was a whole new experience as we were even closer together. Such an odd thing to enjoy I know, but these little differences really made me smile. Can’t wait to try one of those push-up bra numbers! Two days after surgery, as I sit propped up typing this, I am admittedly a little sore and have had a little bleeding from one breast but I’m told by the other half that’s because I ‘won’t bloody well sit still!’. I’m already perusing on-line shopping sites and looking at all the styles of things that I can now confidently wear. Yes I do have a dip in my chest (only visible when naked) but I know from looking at the other helpful reviews on here that this will fill a bit over the next few weeks. I may not have the full perky, firm boobs that we are told are sexy, but what I have are mine. I can dress them up how I like and I love how soft they feel!! I will post pictures on here of how I am looking in another few weeks time and update those that are curious as to how my return to work went. Right before I head of to Spain on a girl’s holiday and the new me makes her debut in a very different sized bikini in fact! My advice to those wanting to go back to natural? DO IT! If your other half tells you to have the replaced? Tell him you’d like him to have a penis enlargement and see how that makes him feel. Then dump him and go find yourself a decent man! Thanks for reading. If this helps anyone a fraction of how the other stories helped me, then I’m happy. Good luck! Asbestos bits x