Nervous, but Counting the Days . London, GB

As you can see from the horrendous photos ( I've...

As you can see from the horrendous photos ( I've never taken pics before and I'm shocked at the state of them) these 6 yr old implants have got to be removed. I realise they look hiddious. I have a nasty rash that has developed on left boob and encapsulation. I've had implants since my late 20s. 20 years with previous ones, they went hard after a while but I lived with them. It was my husband that suggested I have them replaced. So opted for teardrop and also had an uplift by an eminent Harley St surgeon- that was 6 yrs ago and was happy. The surgeon said the 20yr old implants were in very good condition- no leakage thank god. Anyway, last year I started to feel my left boob get that hot feeling and go hard. I knew straightaway it was not good then when I got the rash I went to see a wonderful PS that I had used for a lower face and neck lift last year and was recommended to me by friends who just sing this Professors praises.
Luckily, I had had an MRI scan of my chest done a few months ago ( for something else that thankfully was fine in the end) so took the disc with me to show him. He showed me that the left implant had actually rotated!
I couldn't believe it. Anyway, he assured me that although the rash was to do with the body rejecting the implant, it wasn't cancerous, and they were not leaking either. He agreed with me they needed to come out and totally understood why I'm done with having them replaced.
My worry is (I have always been of a petit frame and after having 2 children and very small boobs anyway, they went to nothing.) What on earth will I have left? He has said I have very little of my own tissue and I won't be happy with the look of them at first and I must wait at least 3 months for them to settle before doing anything although he said I have very little fat on me to transfer anyway. I'm so sorry my post is so long, but I ve been reading everyone's story's and this really is the first time I ever really spoken about the disaster that is of my own making over all these years!
I will be relived to have rid of them, but at the same time will miss having a figure that actually looks nice in clothes. not to mention the expense of buying all new bras, bikinis, and having to get my seamstress to alter all my frocks etc.
anyway, enough of my self pity, I'm a healthy woman who has a good supportive husband and family so I realise I'm very lucky.
My question is- is there anyone else out there that had s similar story with regard to the rash developing. and has anyone previously had a lift then had removal- did it make a difference to the result or would I need another lift?

6 weeks to go

Hi everyone, I know 6 weeks seems a long time off but today I had to fill out the online form for the anesthetic and it hit home it's really going to happen. I have been reading as much as I can on this forum of all the members story's and lookng at most of the after photos and realised that a lot of ladies haven't had their implants as long as me and most are so young that their skin is that much more elastic! If I say I'm actually getting more nervous I suppose that sounds a bit wet. However I'm actually finding my left breast now feels much tighter and I can't stretch my arm fully over my head as its very uncomfortable. ( I've stopped going to yoga class) On that basis I can't wait for 29th of July. I know by now I'd be 1 week post op if I'd not postponed it but as we are going away in a couple of weeks I was worried how I would feel only weeks after my op, not just because of having fresh surgery but about getting used to having no bust. On a positive note I did read one lady saying she brought water filled gel pads. I googled them and they have them in Selfridges. Yey! At least I have those to use to fill out with then- ha ha

Memory lane

Found some old photos today that are 25-30 odd years old. When I said I used to be as flat as a board you can see I wasn't joking :-/ now you know how nervous I am about he explant.

Last wear of this bikini

So I'm on holiday lying about and reading so many of your very encouraging posts. It occurred to me that in 20 days time I will be free of the rocks and will b chucking out all my bikinis. I have noticed this year ou here that many girls are smaller chested (or it might be that they are the ones I'm noticing) it's very chic in this part of Ibiza and I am with my husband and best friends who own a house here. My friend had implants done about 5 yrs ago and I must admit they look very natural and thankfully she has no trouble with them. I am using the same PS as she did to have my explant. My friend is giving me such encouragement too and I've been showing her all your wonderful stories and outcomes. It's actually great to be able to just sit and read this forum as at home I don't really get the time as much.
Hoping all you lovely girls are all doing ok both those that have recently explanted and those of you, like me nervously counting down the days until you are also free of the problem that is our rocks! Hugs to one and all. Xx

Pre op tests done today.

I'm currently sitting in the Hosp waiting to have bloods done. The lovely nurse tried to take some but my veins are very hard to get any blood from! So she's sent me down stairs to the blood text dept for them to have a go!
They took a swab for mrsa( which I had tested last time I came here- all fine) and they weighed me 8st 1llb ( holiday has made me gain a pound or two)
After this, I'm to go to another clinic where they do photo imaging - this is where you stand in front of a camera that rotates and so that's your before photos.
The nurse told me to expect a kind of grieving process after the op- I said I'm quite a stoic Kind of person and just think I'm thankful I've not got cancer as one of my friends have had her breast removed because of it.
Anyway, the countdown has well and truly begun now I've paid all costs today total £4,400

I'm here again!

Anyone else feel or felt at the time, pre- explant, that this website has taken over their lives? Ha ha.
As the time draws nearer to my date I'm finding I'm on this site every day seeing if I can find anyone else that is like me- over 50 ( but not in mind, whatever that is) 8st, 5ft 3, and going from " can't wait to get this thing done and dusted" to " not looking forward to having no boobs" and then flicking through the before and after photos you all share to make me feel it'll be ok.
I'm probably repeating myself and if I am dear readers, then I opologise.
But, this is such a big deal to me- I vere from being 'its all fine, can't wait to be rid' then just sadness and being a bit pee'd off at having to go through it especially when I've got friends that look and feel great with their augmentations. ( not that I'd wish this on any of them, of course)
Right, I'm rambling.
It's another boiling day, here and my very best mate is visiting today so I'll have a good old chat with her ( I've not seen her since April as we've both been away and super busy) she's the girl who said to me. " I was flat chested before the menopause and now look at me- you might be pleasantly surprised "- bless her.
Best wishes to you all that read this. Just grateful there is somewhere for me to put down my thoughts and fears . Xx

Out with the old!

Well in less than 38hrs I'll be in the Hosp and getting these rocks sorted.
It's been a bit of an eventful few days here. My husband, on holiday had seen blood in his urine- hadn't felt great for a while and had several blood tests done- which all came back fine. Yesterday he had the camera done and he has a stricture. To make doubly sure, they want to do an ultrasound on Friday! So I go in at 7am then he goes into a nearer Hosp to have that done at 11am( although only as a day patient)
Blimey, it doesn't rain it pours!
Please god it is just a stricture and when I'm up and about again he will have his op done by laser, so I'll be looking after him.
Anyway, today ive been preparing for my op by clearing out all my lovely underwear and bikinis ( I don't want to look at them when I come home- just want a fresh start ) I've booked a food delivery, had the cleaner in and she's going to do extra hours for me next week. All the washing and ironing is up to date too and we are eating out tonight with friends as they rang to say they wanted to take my mind off of it which I thought was very sweet of them. I've been washing with a medicated shower gel that the hospital wanted me to use 5 days before and after, which is very boring but apparently is to prevent MRSA.
Hospital rang today to ask if I've any questions before I go in. I asked if I needed to bring any particular bras with me. No was the answer I'll be given 2 and they will be front fastening and I'm to use them for 6 weeks! That I'm not looking forward to I must say.
Have also taken delivery of the Naturalful breast cream yesterday. It's a very nice consistency and I watched a you tube vid on how to use it, so had a go, but not much point I suppose until I am all natural myself- so that can wait.
I decided tomorrow I'm going to wear my favorite bra and brief set for the very last time. I'm sad about that but I have looked online at a website called Jo Thornton, that has gel chicken fillet type things and feel I will be her best customer- ha ha ha.
Oh well, will update on THE DAY.
Love to all you girls that have given me encouragement to go forward with your posts of your own journeys and to all you girls that are in for the same journey as me be it very soon or in weeks to come. Xxxx

Here we go- today's the day EXPLANT

Well today's the day.
I've sent my husband home and I'm ready to go down to theatre - im the first op of the day.
My PS and Anethetist had been in to see me, both lovely guys.
Im super nervous and rather teary- I don't know where that has come from but my PS said I may have more tissue on right boob than the poorly left one and the nipple is prob lower.
Oh my goodness what did I go to myself all those years ago. Feeling really fed up but anyway onward and upward

All out!

Im back in my room- they've given me oxygen as feeling a bit rough.
Actually got more discomfort on right boob than poorly one bizzarely!
Anyway, just feel groggy but they've just brought me in a nice cup of tea so they will undoubtedly perk me up! waiting to see professor F to see how it all went.
Will keep you posted

First look

So, feeling tons better after having a prawn sandwich on brown.
Blood pressure a bit on low side but nurse feels it could be due to dehydration after op so am drinking lots of water.
This photo I took just to see what was under my gown! Lol
Happy to say I don't have drains in.
Pain not bad at all and I love the feeling of the little blow up boots they put on you to stop DVT- it's quite therapeutic - lol
Waiting to speak to the lovely Prof F
To see what he found.
Thanks all for your best wishes - be it through private messages or on forum. Lots of love to one and all xx

Compression vest off

I am writing this and trying to remember accurately what I've been told- will do my best to report as I think was said.
So Prof F came to see me, carrying my little implants. They really were not that big and he said they were mid range size. Anyway, he said the compression vest could come off and that the tight bras must be worn for 6-8 weeks day and night. ( Ive had several friends and Hosp staff tell me this man gets results. I'm doing as I'm told and no shortcuts - lol) he claimed that he had taken a biopsy of tissue under the rash and biopsies of breast tissue under capsule. He is more than sure I don't have ALCL but he wants to be 100% certain. He has left in the caps however, if there is any doubt at all that it's ALCL they will be taken out. He has said as I've not had allergies before and am in good health generally, he feels they can give me a little bit of shape.
I have every faith in this surgeon and as he has written a paper on this subject I'm happy with his judgement.

He said my previous PS had obviously tried to put implant under muscle but what it actually did was push the right muscle up high. The left muscle is lower hence this is where I had a sort of dip. ( I was always were of this but didn't understand why) he said that implant was folded over at the top. The left implant was wrinkled inwards from the sides. He has done what he called some cross stitching inside.
He said it is going to be a bit of a long haul. I will get fluid build up that may dissapate but they are going to keep their eye on this. He said if I find I swell then I must go back and it will be drained but he hopes this won't be the case. I must not lift my arms more than 90degrees, absolutely no straining on my pecs- for at least 4 weeks . If all is well I can resume my power plate in 8 weeks.
I am determined to obey. I, in the past have been rash - think I can just get on with it and this time I'm going to be ultra sensible.
He said there is work he can do further down the line but ruled out fat transfer as he explained that one would need to put a lot of fat in and that most fat that in transferred doesn't stay so you put more and more in over a period of time until some stays there. I'm not big, so I do not have that option.
I'm not allowed to massage for at least 8 weeks.
Well there you have it. I'm ok with it all (at the moment ) I can shower tomorrow, slightly freaked at what I'll see if I'm honest. As you can see from my photos, the poorly boob looks that much fuller but I think that is swelling. Apparently I have plastic glue on stitches, which hopefully I won't react to!
As I said before- onward and upward.
Hugs to all of you girls out there reading this and those of you that have had yours done today and recently and big hugs and thanks to you girls that had yours done a while ago and give us newbies your knowledge and support and upbeat encouragement. Thank you. Xxxx

Home

Thank goodness I'm home for a good nights sleep. But frustrated I can't do much. I can't even open the fridge as its too heavy and Prof F has forbidden me from any pushing, pulling or lifting for weeks! How on earth I'll keep to that I have no idea! I can drive in couple of days but can't wash hair as I can't blow dry it so its hairdressers for me on Monday then. Good excuse ha ha. Keeping the DVT stockings on today as I'm mostly lying about.
The worst of it is I must not remove the bra until I visit the plastics clinic next Friday!!!! Whaaaat?
I'll have to have a low bath and wash other areas with a flannel.
I really want this to all heal nicely but this is going to be a flipping nightmare.
Dying to see the little pancakes on Friday- I'll get the nurse to take a pic I think so I can share with you girls.
resisting taking pain killers but must take the Tranexamic Acid tablets for 2 days. These are to stop or reduce any unwanted bleeding. I didn't have drains so I guess it's precautionary.
Xxx

Day 3 and not feeling so great today.

Hi Ladies, I wasn't going to post an update until Friday after my next appointment but, well, I'm on day 3. I'm in bed writing this feeling rather delicate and out of sorts. It seems to have hit me today!
Woke at 6.45am and took the Tranexamic acid tablet that I was told to. Slept as OK as you can do propped up on my pillows. Had a shallow bath but as the bath is very deep I knelt in it to wash as I knew I wouldn't get out of it very easily and didn't want my husband to pull me up from under my arms. So he just steadied me whilst I got out. Felt better after putting a bit of make-up on and dressing. Sat in the garden as it has been a nice sunny London day. So just sat and read the Sunday papers, with my pooches at my feet. Husband put washing out for me and has really been helpful.
By lunchtime I felt a bit nauseous, no appetite but did have my obligatory squeezed Lemon in water with the zest first thing. I have tried drinking plenty of water ( so boring) but I think my blood pressure is a bit low, (it was in the hospital) so I really took it easy. I don't know what it is but I wasn't so much in pain, but have just felt really sluggish ( I have managed to go the loo if you know what I mean, so it's not that)
Anyway, the day wore on and early evening I told my husband I was going up to bed- he thought I should have been in bed anyway. I just have no energy and I've had a bit of indigestion which has eased up in the last hour. I keep doing deep breathing and I suppose this support bra is tight so maybe it's that making me feel queasy.
My daughter rang me earlier and said 'Mum you know what- I think women with smaller boobs are so much more elegant in their clothes. Think of Audrey Hepburn, she was small, you've got a tiny waist and they helps too' . Bless her, she was trying to bouy me up. But I really am ok about it. It was so funny. I told her, I put a Breton top on with Navy slouchy palazzo pants, did my hair in a low pony tail and put my hoops in my ears ( hardly ever wear hoops) and my husband said I looked very French- tres' chic ! Ha ha ha I said, it must be the lack of boobs (as we have 2 French woman friends and neither have much in that dept, both are extremely chic) he said the Breton looked nicer on me than before- win win then! Lol
Did any of you ladies that have already explanted, get this dip in your energy levels after a few days?
I wonder if it's the anesthetic coming out of the body that makes you feel like it? At first you're on a high perhaps knowing it's all over and you're relived then -bang!
Oh I don't know, maybe it's just me.
I'm looking forward to going to the clinic on Friday I must say, I just really want to see what I've got and from the angle I'm looking from if I peep down, they don't look too bruised but do look a bit wrinkly.
Keep well everyone. Xxx

First showing and it's a bit of a shock!

I had my post op appointment today. Well, as she took off the bra it was my first proper look ( after a whole week) she gave me a hand mirror and oooooh, two little wrinkled walnuts, one walnut being slightly smaller and more wrinkly than the other. I was gearing myself up for the reveal as, because of all the brave ladies on this forum had shown before, they come in all shapes and sizes. In the post op bra they don't look too bad but when the support bra is removed they look so sad and I'd go as far as to say deformed. They look so wide apart too.
The lovely nurse said she was very happy with everything. I'm healing well and scars are nice and neat. I've a tiny bit of bruising but considering I usually bruise very easily, it's minimal. I took along with me a post op bra that I had purchased on Amazon because the ones they provide have rather thick straps that show if you have a wider necked top on. She agreed this bra would be fine to use so she put it on me. Now I can wash the one I've had to wear constantly all week- I joked that it could probably walk home all on its own! Lol
So I'm to wear these bras day and night for 6 weeks, but at least from today I can shower as this are have plastic coating over the stitches. She doesn't need to see me again ( unless I choose to ) although I get results of the biopsy next week and if that is all ok, I'm to see Professor F in 11 weeks time. If it's not..... Well then we have another story that I won't think about here.
I'm still to take it easy, no stretching or raising arms above my head, can walk the dogs only if they don't pull ( not much chance of that I'm afraid) I don't think I can massage until the 5 weeks is up so no Naturalful cream yet sadly.
Anyway dear readers, that's it.
I am slightly mortified about the shape of my poor little boobs, but I hope patience and God willing, they will improve week by week.
Xxx

11 days post

Just thought I'd take some shots 11 days post op.
You can see better in these pics how my right boob is even more of an odd shape than the left ( and that's not great!)
I have a big indentation where there simply is no breast tissue.
I'm just hoping with all my might this will improve, although where all the 'fluff 'will come from goodness knows. :-/

Just seeing what they'll look like in a pretty bra :-)

So I've started to use the Naturalful massage cream day & night. It's very odd using the hairdryer to warm the skin. Can any of you lovely ladies who are also using this cream- how long you massage for? I looked online and one lady said she does 25 sweeps on each boob! Does that sound about right?
Anyway, this morning after having had a shower, I tried a bra on that I had brought in Berlin on a trip at Christmas and in getting back to our hotel realised the assistant had packed the wrong size. It was at least a size down from what I wore, and as we were going home the next morning early I couldn't take it back. So realising I had this bra in my drawer I tried it on- omg! It actually fits ( it is a tad big on the top part, but I fill it out underneath ) so I took photos and I will look at them in times of impatience and think ' In maybe 4 weeks, I can wear nice underwear again' but for the time being its back to the supportive sports bras which I have to say I'm feeling more and more comfy in.

So thankful

Today I got back the toxicology results. Thankfully all clear. Just relieved and glad I'm not putting my family through any more worry.
I asked a question to the doctors on here, a few days ago which was when is it safe to start the massage. One said after 10 days to two weeks. The other said 6 weeks and only after your ps says it's ok! Oh dear, I've already started after 10 days. I shall call his secretary on Monday now just to clarify. I'm also staring to do more stuff. Today to used the sheers to lightly trim a laurel hedge and raked up some leaves from the lawn. I took it easy but I don't think I'll do that sort of thing again for a week or two. It's 2 weeks today since my explant and so only 4 weeks to go wearing the bras day and night. I feel like I'm wishing my life away, but I just want to get on with life as I know it.
Hope all you ladies on here have a lovely weekend and be kind to yourselves. Xxx

Bit sad today.

I've started to do a power walk on the treadmill, only a gentle incline of 7 to start and felt better for it ( as I can't walk my pooches, as one of them tends to pull)
But this morning I felt my boobs had all but disappeared. I tried on the pretty bra that I tried on a week or so ago and I hardly fill it! It's pathetic. I was told by my ps that they would loose some of the plumpness ( not that there was much of that in evidence in the first place) and now I know just what he meant. Obviously it was all swelling.
I'll be honest and tell you dear readers, I'm very deflated at this.( excuse the pun) I'm diligently using the Naturalful cream day and night, drinking my fresh Lemon with warm water and the zest added ( read this helps to boost breast tissue too - the zest that is.)
So no more can I do. But be patient and, like wishing my life away- wait for that fluff fairy to show herself pdq :-(

Photos 9 days apart

Having just said I feel they've shrunk and seen the evidence in the bra- I've realised that they do look marginally better than the wrinkly photo taken 9 days ago.
Oh, this journey is mad and very perplexing!

1month post explant today

I can't believe it's been 4 weeks today since my explant op. I'm still only power walking on the tread,
and every night and every morning I am religiously using the Naturalful cream. Looking at the second photo here you can see one boob is looking better with regard to fullness although in real life I do have an indentation on the inside of it still, but I actually had one even before I had the implants removed so I'm not sure that will ever go. The poorly boob is still struggling frankly- ok, the bruising has gone but the wrinkling is still there and it is very indented on the upper pole which makes the pec above it look big.
I went shopping for bras that were without underwire, obviously, but ended up taking all but two back!
The one in the picture is from ( of all places)- Sainsbury it is a slightly padded tee shirt bra- very comfy. I brought 32b which is fine but so many I tried on made my boobs squashed and more wrinkly looking. I've decided to leave it another few weeks before I look again as it did make me feel a bit fed up.
On the plus side, I've been trying on dresses that I thought would look hideously big now and apart from a bit of alteration on some, actually looked OK. I have put a bit of weight on around my tummy and am very much looking forward to firming up again as this is not a usual thing for me. But I'm mindful of the fact I'm 57 not 37- ha ha. I know I've still got a long way to go before I'll be happy with this new look, if I'm really honest, but I do feel better knowing I'm natural and I'm hoping this time next year I'll look back on these photos and not feel so horrified.

Just checking

I'm currently sitting in plastics at Springfield waiting to see nurse. My poorly boob feels a tad lumpy and I phoned to ask if that's normal- they've made me an spot just to check it out

I'd recommend this bra

Ladies, I thought I'd share a great find with you. This bra is from Victoria's Secret no underwire and the loveliest soft silky material too. I took this photo in the dressing room as I was so thrilled to find it. I brought it in this grapey grey colour and Pink and black too.

7 weeks 3 days post.

Oh the trauma of finding bikinis this time of year.
Anyway, this one is from H&M in the sale and the top was £2- I kid you not. Hilarious.
It's reversible but as its a bandeau top, I put my little leather bracelet in the middle of it to give it some shape as it was straight across the near non existent boobs.
I was very very self conscious this morning walking down in this, as we are staying with our friends in Ibiza, but at least we are just around the pool and not on the beach ( I'll find a padded one before I do that- ha ha)
I think I've got used to the padded VS bras and so I've realised just how flat I really am.
The upside of this is........ Yaaaah! I can lay on my tummy to sunbathe.
Every cloud and all that, eh? Xxx

More pics

This is what it's supposed to look like and this is the reverse side.

Over 3 months. A decision had been made.

So I thought I'd do an update as I've not been on here for a little while. It's over 3 months now and I visited my PS on Tues. he took 360* photos with different positions to show what is to be done.
Thankfully we've reached a decision to go for fat graft.
As you can see, my poorly boob is no better, and after the swelling went down, has decided to be a wrinkly little prune. No nice bras, bikinis or Naturalful cream ( being used diligently ) can disguise the hideousness that I'm left with.
My PS would not do Fat graft for at least 9months to a year, as he advises the fat put in straight after explant, very often dissipates, often by 40%.
He has suggested I buy the Brava System and wear it religiously. This he tells me is not for any great change in size but to prepare the breast tissue and cells to accept the new fat ( or words there about)
This I am happy to do, if it means I will get a better result. It seems, although I'm very petit, he will find enough fat to graft. ( it was thought that might not be the case originally)
I felt so relived on leaving his office. I'm very happy to go through the motions I need to in order to get a good result. He really is s most respected surgeon of whom I trust implicitly.
So dear readers, I will let you all know how it goes along the way and the eventual outcome.
If this helps any of you out there that had recently had an explant and is sorely disappointed after a good few months, then I am happy to help.
Hugs to all of you that has gone through this challenging situation.
Xxxxx
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