54 and Getting my 20 Year Old Implants Removed June 25th!!...WORTH IT!!.. - London, GB

I had my first implants 20 years ago. I was a tiny 34AA, I was very underweight at 34 and due to being constantly put down by my then partner, I went to my doctor, who recommended implants. Looking back I think I was depressed due to the abusive relationship I was in. I had had 2 kids and my small boobs had got even smaller. I had the first ba and went to a 34C. I did ask for a B. They made me feel more confident, and I no longer worried about all the big boobed girls he was getting off with. I ended that relationship just after my surgery! Haha!! After 8 years I notied lumps in my right boob, so went to the doctor who referred me back to the hosptial. I had my sencond implants, and was the B cup I originally wanted to be. I have had those implants for 11 years now. For the last couple of years I have been suffering with constant aching and some lumps. I had a biopsy on a small lump that was found to be benign. I am always tired, I could sleep literatly standing up, and can never wake up in the mornings. My boobs are hard, and it hurts if someone hugs me too tightly, plus Im always thinking that they can feel how hard they are. They are like tennis balls!! The aching, which feels like bruising, had me in tears a couple of weekends ago, so my bofriend of 6 years told me to get it checked out. My new doctor was very unsympathetic, but did refer me to the hospital. Ive been stalking this site, and have spoken to a couple of women, one in particular, who have been lovely and really helped me make a decision. I went today to see a breast consultant, who was brilliant. He has now booked me in for the 6th July for explant!!! I was so happy I nearly started crying! Poor man!! I didnt expect the nhs to accept my case, and was all ready to get a loan. I feel so grateful and will be making a donation to a charity.
I am aprehensive, and still have some doubts, but I know I need to do this for my health. My boyfriend is totally supportive of this, and just wants me to be happy and comfortable. I worry because he met me with the implants and has never known me to be flat chested. He says he would rather me be healthy. He text me at the hospital this morning and his words were "GET THEM OUT" funny because he was talking about the implants , but it sounded like he meant get my boobs out!!! :)) I will miss the shape I have,they do look nice and quite natural, I love wearing vest tops and t shirts, and Im worried about how I am going to look after the op. I bought some sports bras from Peacocks, as my normal bras were making me ache more, and the sports bras make me look quite flat and I like it. I have begun to hate seeing myself in a reflection side view as I look big. Ive got some lovely dresses, and I know I will not fill them out in the way I do now....Ill be more twiggy than jessica rabbit, but I do actually prefer twiggys style!! Im scared my belly will be bigger than my boobs, and I am going to really try to watch what I eat up until the op.....although I did just eat a lovely magnum lolly!!! So if anyone has any advice, answers or tips I would be really happy to hear from you. All the reviews Ive read have really inspired me to do this, just hope Im happy with the result [RS bleep]

Hi. I told my sons what I'm doing and they are supportive. My eldest offered to pick me up from hospital, and that makes me so happy! I said to him "I'm sick of having something foreign inside me" and he said "there's a joke there somewhere! " (my boyfriend is German!!) made me laugh and that helps xx I looked at some A cup bras in M&S tiday, and felt really excited! Never thought I'd say that. Just hope I can fill them after the recovery from op. Also told work I'll be off, just said I'm having breast surgery, nothing to worry about though. Think I'll need a week off after?? Not sure. Anyway, still optimistic about this. [RS bleep]

Woke up emotional today. Felt the insecurities I had about my body before I got implants. Don't know where this has,all come from. Worried how I'm going to look, scared I'll be as flat as I was 20 years ago, but I have put on weight over the years, so I hope there will at least be a small bit of something to put in a A cup. My bloke us great and has reassured me but I can't help those old insecurities creeping back to haunt me. Onwards and upwards. Still getting this done though. [RS bleep]