I've been lurking on and off for about 6 months now so it's time to join and share my story. It turned out to be way too long so here’s the quick stats:
What I Want
I really have no medical understanding but I’m very meticulous and anxious, and I do my research extensively before I buy anything or do anything so with this it’s been no different. I will ultimately need the help of my PS to decide what is best for the look I want and to fit my lifestyle. Going into my consult I have an open mind but I’m pretty sure I want:
Incision Site: inframammary (under the breast, at the crease)
Size: (unsure in cc’s – but I want to be a large C at the smallest)
Profile: (unsure, but thinking mod or mod plus – I do not want fake looking boobs!)
Placement: sub-muscular (I don’t have a lot of natural breast tissue)
Implant material: silicone
Implant style: round
Texture: whichever is best for my active lifestyle – will have to talk to PS
5 feet 5 inches tall
32 AA to A bra cup size
2 kids, and don’t want any more
28 years old
Married to the man of my dreams; I’m crazy in love with him
First consult is booked for August 5th 2015 with Dr. Brian Evans who works out of his clinic at Western University Hospital in London, ON
A Small Novel About My Background
I've been dreaming of a BA since I was 16. I never developed and was always in the 32AA to A range for bras. I met DH when I was 19, went on birth control and went to about a B. When I got pregnant I went up to a C and stayed there for about 2 years (had my kids 10.5 months apart so there was really not much time for them to shrink back down in between pregnancies). I had a hard time with breastfeeding and could only breastfeed for 5 months with my first and 4 months with my second before all my milk dried up. I got engorged for 7-10 days straight with each child and during the engorgement I was a DD and they were hard as a rock. It was excruciating pain - worse than the birthing pain imo.
About a year after my second child my breasts had fully shrunk back down to an AA and I was devastated. I cried in La Senza after the lady took my measurements and told me I was a 32AA. I left the store without buying anything and threw out all my bras and have been wearing ugly bralettes and training bras ever since. I hate my boobs but since we got married young and have gone through school together while raising kids, we never actually had the money to realistically think about it. Now that we do, it’s a real possibility and I’ve finally booked my first consult with a PS who works out of Western University Hospital.
I've cried more times than I can remember about feeling like a pre-teen girl in this body of mine. I'm happy with everything else and actually love the rest of my body from head to toe, but I just can't get over my small boobs. I've tried for years to accept them and it even worked a few times but it was always outlived.
For the record I'd like to say that my husband is crazy about my body and we have a fantastic sex life. He has tried to convince me to love my boobs because he loves my body and my boobs (he's an ass guy anyway and I got the goods, not to sound conceited!). I've honestly tried to accept my breasts the way they are many times over the years, but especially after having had a C cup during my pregnancies and for a short time afterward, I feel like I'm missing a part of my body. It affects my mood and it affects my sexuality. I'm sick of it being an issue for me and I just want to stop obsessing about boobs and move on.
I don’t consider myself to be a vain person and I’m extremely conservative. My husband and I have only been with each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are keeping this a secret from everyone because I don’t feel it’s anyone’s business and I also don’t want my kids to know, at least not at this point in time. My family and my husbands would be judgmental and I don’t want them sharing it with my children so unless they outright ask me I’m not giving them any details. I may just end up telling them I’m wearing a padded bra or that I’ve started hormone therapy due to low estrogen levels or something. My sister in law is also my best friend and I have cried to her for years about my boobs so she may end up putting two and two together, however for now my husband and I are not telling a soul. Because I’m very private about my body, and because DH and I want to keep this a secret, I’m choosing not to post any pictures of myself, however later on down the road when I’m closer to surgery I may post a before picture with my bra on so that I can show you the results. So many photos on here have helped so much but at this time I’m just not comfortable sharing.
Starting the Journey
I finally pulled the trigger in June and called a PS in my city. His earliest consult was August 5th and he’s not booking surgeries until into December now. This actually works out well for me because I am a full-time student in college and I will not have the luxury to take time off during my studies from September to early December. I’m hoping to be scheduled in for surgery on Dec 21st because exam week is from December 14th to the 19th and I want to be fully done exams before I go into surgery. However I start an internship first week of January so I’d like to be back on my feet by then. So I have a very small window to do this! I’m really hoping it works out.
Doubts and Fears
I think it’s because my consult is still so far away, but every day I’m obsessing over this and I have so many worries. What if I bottom out, get CC, end up deformed or with auto-immune disease, etc etc. There’s a lot of horror stories. DH always reassures me and says it’s one of the most performed surgeries and the PS we are going to see is renowned and has been doing this since before we were born! He has over 30 years’ experience in PS and he operates out of University Hospital and has an entire clinic there so he has got to be good. He has 5 starts (4.85/5 rating) on rademds.com, and most are breast related. He specializes in breast reconstruction. I am also extremely athletic (I do plyometrics and jump training, heavy cardio, resistance training, weights, HIIT… stuff like Insanity Max:30, Jillian Michaels, etc as well) so I want to make sure a BA won’t limit my ability to do all of these things. If I have to wait 6 months or even a year before being fully sure I’m healed so be it. But I need to know that once I’m healed I WILL be able to continue doing these types of routines without risk of displacing or rupturing the implant.
My List of Questions So Far (to bring with me to PS)
1. Should I wear a band post-op to help with dropping the breasts in place?
2. How will the shape of my chest wall affect where the implants sit on my chest once they have settled? 3. Where will my nipples sit on the breast (middle, to the site, etc)?
4. When will it be safe to exercise again with the type of exercises I do?
5. What kind of implant do you suggest for my athletic lifestyle?
6. What is your re-operation rate for implants?
7. If I need a revision surgery, what are your costs? What is the protocol?
8. a) For your patients in particular, how long to the implants last?
b) How often should I have them checked for rupture and do you do this? (If not, where do I go and how much does it cost?)
9. Should I have a mammogram pre-op? (I have never had one.)
10. What sort of health risks are associated with the implants you use? What are some other risks?
11. How many women report illness claiming it’s due to their implants and what are your professional medical thoughts on implant related illness?
12. I saw a video where a car ran over an implant to show how strong some of them are; so then how and why do they rupture inside the body?
13. What is the cost of replacing a ruptured implant?
14. Does OHI currently cover implant removal or replacement?
15. If I need to or choose to have my implants removed at a later date, how will my breasts look after the explant?
I know I will think of more between now and August 5th lol… please feel free to share if you have any good ones that aren’t on my list!
I Think That’s It For Now…
Well if anyone actually read that whole thing I’ll be surprised. I am very thorough so I couldn’t help but write a small novel. I have found this site very helpful and I’m hoping to be able to connect and find and give support through my journey because surely DH is going to get sick of hearing me talk about boobs eventually!