I began to disappear five years ago, shortly after...
I began to disappear five years ago, shortly after my 50th birthday in fact. I was aware of the smiles and second glances of admiration from males and females but didn't really register them until they stopped happening.
It struck me like a thunderbolt as I sat in front of the mirror at my hair salon. where did that wobbly skin neck come from? Where's my pointed chin? And who is that old woman who stole my face? Seemingly overnight an angry Mother of all nature slapped me round the face and screeched "what? Did you really think it I wouldn't find you?"
In two weeks I enter the magic world of Dominic Bray who is going to sprinkle his particular brand of magic dust and awaken the sleeping beauty lying dormant inside my *real* face, inside the one that I've been sad to carry around for five years.
I'm anxious, nervous, excited and scared all at the same time. I'm taking two weeks from work to recover. I keep trying to focus on "this time next month it will all be over". I take such courage from all of you as I wait for my PS Prince to awaken this sleeping beauty and banish the old lady whose been tormenting me for years, I can't wait to be free of her, and like Alice, step lightly back through the looking glass.
Wish me luck!
Dear Real self heroes and heroines, I'm just 3 days away from my fl, nl and upper blepharoplasty with Dr Dominic Bray in London. I'm worried because I having done very well at keeping to the diet, the demon drink and a take away pushed my off the rails. I hope this doesn't mean I'll turn into a pumpkin head covered in bruises.
I've waited 10 months from the beginning of my commitment to myself and its now only days away. I hope I get the results I want to bring myself back from the brink of invisibility, the curse of the middle aged woman.
Wish me luck and if you can please send positive thoughts to me in London on the 23rd. I take courage from your bravery. X
Me post surgery 3 days and counting
Some photos of me yesteryear, last year and today showing how I've been whacked with the ugly stick.
Battle scars, bandage and bewildered
So my first night home and gosh am I in pain, mainly my poor ears and eyes, oh and the jaw isn't happy either. Must sleep tonight, will post more tomorrow. :-(
Puffy the Vampire Slayer
Tucked up in bed at home, my man attempting to make home made vegetable soup and cats curled up with me despite their earlier stares of disapproval at my poor bruised face, isn't Unconditional love wonderful?
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make the pain disappear, I hear I had oceans of extra painkiller injections during my surgery, I'm uber sensitive that's for sure. X
On the other side
Firstly a big thank you for the very kind and supportive messages initially post surgery. I had a rough 7 days and hearing from so many if you helped enormously.
I'm day 11 and feeling so much better. Stitches came out last week (didn't hurt too much) and felt better almost immediately, like a balloon deflating, the healing kicked in soon after.
I still have bruises but the fantastic GOSH mineral powder number 004 gives tremendous lye good coverage. Thanks for the tip, Bienmaya.
My ears are tender to the touch but healing very well. If I can be forgiven to say I think my eyes look so much younger and prettier than before, I now have eyelids!
Dominic is everything people say about him and more. He makes me feel like I'm his only patient, he called me twice a day and text often to see how I was. During my rough 7 days when the world looked very gloomy and I couldn't forgive myself for having the procedures. Psychologically I was very low and physically had never felt pain like it, the day 8 as if a light had been switched in the pain in my ears stopped.
I stood still not daring to believe that it had gone but it had and I felt instantly happier with the decision.
I'll try and post some pics but I got into a pickle with it and deleted all the others bro I'll try again today.
Finally for anyone in the world thinking of having such drastic surgery, please, please go and see Dominuc Bray in London. I cannot believe there is anyone better than he.xxx
11 Days Post
Here are some photos 11 days post. I'll try and recover my 'before' photos or these will not make sense.
Boy Racers, My Hero and the Dangerous Sandwich
So after 12 days in captivity Husband and me ventured to local wine bar. It felt like a big adventure. But I nstalled at our favourite table with chilled Sauvingon in hand the picture was all wrong, the music thundered in my ears, everyone was laughing too loudly and the chink of ice from the cocktail shaker sounded like an avalanche in my brain. I had an overwhelming feeling of nausea coupled with the distinct feeling that a machete wielding maniac had sliced into the back of my head, in reality it was just a smiling barman, an innocent tray in hand.
We got out of there pronto for the short walk back home, as we crossed the road a delivery boy peddling at a rate of knots raced past me, close enough to move my hair, way too close for a lady 12 days after having major surgery, I admit it, I screamed like a girl in a Hitchcock horror movie.
Husband donned his Superman costume and ran after delivery boy, leaving me trembling and cold on the pavement, when I caught up with them I heard manly admonishments by Husband followed by apology from youth with dangling ear plugs.
The machete slice got worse and I felt myself slipping into that dark underwater void into a faint, my hero flagged down a cab instantly and got me home to 'safety'.
With little appetite for dinner i plumped for a chicken sandwich, making the grave mistake of adding salt, within minutes my lovely new eyes reverted back to old swollen hooded eyes and jawline melted into round space hopper face, DONT ADD SALT, people.
What am I up to tomorrow evening? Staying home I think.....
One week comparison
Before and one week after, note saggy neck.