My sensation was always reduced after the first implants, which bothered me a lot and got in the way of intimacy. But I had some at least. My surgeon knew I was afraid of losing more and now I am completely numb from the top of the implant at armpit height, to underneath. I have a tiny bit of sensation in one nipple. My main distress about this revision is the possibility that I could perhaps have breastfed a baby with what I had before the revision. My surgeon told me it was unlikely, so I had the revision thinking I had nothing to lose, but I wonder now if I could have managed. It's all a bit late and I'm ruminating and obsessing.
But what I want now is to explant and to get these massive balloons out. I may still be numb but the offenders will be out of my body and this cycle of implanting will be finished.
I am looking for someone to do this, but wary of cost to myself financially and emotionally. I had time off work for the revision and the discomfort of going submuscular meant more time off than planned. I've been very emotional and distracted and I can't tell a lot of people why. I'm doing a cycle of IVF treatment right now, and the embryos will be frozen. My partner and friends don't want me to explant, as they think I'm in the wrong state of mind, that I should accept what I have now and focus on my fertility treatment. My partner is already hesitant about me even having an embryo transfer as he thinks I'm not up to it emotionally. So I made a terrible mistake by having this revision when I did, how I did; I didn't consult with any of my friends or my partner, I just went and did it as I was so afraid and ashamed. It's only since the revision that I have opened up and told any friends at all; they're amazed to know I had implants all this time.
There are a few good doctors in the UK that explant, but they all implant as well, so I'm not going to get a Dr Melmed or Dr Feng. I have spoken to Dr Melmed on the phone and by email. He asked me about symptoms, and I said I have severe persistent sciatica and recurrent yeast infections, but I didn't associate them with the implants. He believes they are. But given my situation, he does not want me to fly to Dallas to be explanted by him. The other surgeons here will consult with me gradually over the next month, but I can't be sure about their attention to removing all the capsules. My new implants will not have formed a capsule at least, but I am worried about the old capsules, and how much my surgeon really did remove, as I don't feel I can believe much of what he says. He tells me that he left the capsule closest to the skin as I have no breast tissue, that he cleaned the pocket out with water and hydrogen peroxide. The old implants were not ruptured, but with a thin bleeding shell, so there must have been silicone in the pocket. He has closed the pocket, and I don't know how disruptive it will be to my remaining sensation to have the pocket re-opened to check. The only surgeon who might do that is Dr Feng in Ohio. I will speak to her secretary soon, but I don't think I can afford her or the trip as well as IVF.
My surgeon will remove them for free but tells me that I will just have empty pockets, loose skin. That I have NO breast tissue at all, that implants can rub away the old breast tissue. I will be an AA cup instead of my previous A cup. In short, he is giving it all the scare stories. Dr Melmed said I would be the same as pre-implants, and that breast implants can encourage breast growth if anything?! My surgeon says it will be quick and easy to do, a day-case, 20 mins to do!? I wonder about drains, as these usually stay in for a few days; he used them for the revision BA. I am worried he is rushing it and that I shouldn't use him, but I am tempted by the locality and that I won't have to borrow money or travel far and wide. I wouldn't have a lift with any of the other surgeons anyway, so as long as my POS removes them, will I be okay and my results will be much of a muchness? I won't have a capsule to worry about. I made a mistake the first time, I don't want to make it again. I will ask Dr Melmed, but I don't want to go through this and feel no peace of mind, eventually travelling for further surgery to be sure. I am pretty sure I won't get the sympathetic aftercare that a dedicated explant surgeon would give, but as long as they are safely removed, then the rest is up to my body? I hope to do this in one month, I would really appreciate any advice or support, I feel so out on a limb. Thank you.