When I was younger, I thought BAs were for vain,...
When I was younger, I thought BAs were for vain, shallow women. (It's easy to be pious about body images when you have pert, shapely breasts.) Then two things happened: 1) Two years of breast-feeding; 2) My best friend (who wore a 32AA) had a BA. I realized that I shouldn't look down on anyone for simply wanting to look feminine. One thing she said that really stuck in my brain was, "If I had crooked teeth then I'd feel no shame in paying a lot of money to have them fixed." Suddenly, I got it.
Fast forward 15 years and here I am. I don't like calling my surgery "breast augmentation" because I'm going more for "breast restoration", as in I want my breasts back to what they were before my hungry babies sucked so much charm and glory out of them. Deflation and the misshapen nature of my girls is the issue, not so much size. In fact, I discussed other options with my PS because I'd prefer not to have foreign objects in my body, but after examining me he said that implants are the only way to "properly restore" them.
I've decided not to involve my husband very much in the selection process. I mean, we've talked extensively about my reasons for wanting the procedure and I've questioned him thoroughly on his own feelings about it. He says he's 55% for it and 45% against it (I laughed at the preciseness of this), but insists it's my decision and he'll support me in whatever I go with. He probably doesn't actually expect me to go through with it because I'm a total cheapskate AND a chicken!
What I mean by not including him is I didn't parade the different rice-sizer options in front of him for his input and I've shown him none of my wish-boob pictures. The end result will be hanging from MY front, so I don't want to be swayed by what CCs I suspect he'd prefer for the next 10 - 15 years, and I'm not silly enough to think mine will turn out exactly like those photos. I want my results to be a nice surprise for him, not a miss-the-mark for his expectations experience.
This isn't something I'm doing for my husband. That's a very important thing to be sure of for any of us considering this procedure. Even though he's the only person who ever sees my breasts and I love him very, very much, this surgery is quite an undertaking, both financially and physically. I'm planning on it because I'm willing to sacrifice monetarily and recuperatively for the benefit of my own contentment as I live in this body of mine.
Hmm. The website won't let me upload any photos. I guess I'll try later.
Haha. Now that I see these pics it's kind of funny that I said size isn't the issue for me, because clearly my girls are pretty tiny. Still, improving their shape is my main hope.
Am I the Only One Who Doesn’t Want “Perfect” Boobs?
I really don’t want to walk away from this BA with the bosom of a teenager. I mean, I’ve got a stretch-marked belly, slightly sun-damaged skin and crow’s feet, so if I end up looking like my breasts just blossomed into existence 6 months ago then I’m going to feel quite incongruent. :/
The characteristics I DON’T want my breasts to have are:
1) Set high on my chest
2) Pronounced roundness in the upper pole
The characteristics I DO want them to have include:
1) A gradual slope from clavicle to nipple
2) Extra fullness of the lower pole
3) Nipples that point slightly upward
4) A definite inframammary fold
Is it unrealistic to think my surgeon can accomplish this? How do you ask your PS for a wee bit of sag? :)
My Stats Today
It's been helpful to see others, so here are mine:
Wt: 132 #
Pre-op: 36 B- (I could probably wear an A, but don't like how narrow the cups are)
Likely size of implants: 300 cc
Main goal: To restore volume after breastfeeding, but still be able to exercise and move without being encumbered by my purchased womanliness :)
After taking my measurements and talking with me, Dr. Gupta looked at a chart to see what range my numbers were in. He recommended submuscular placement of high profile, cohesive gel in the cc range of 250 - 375. After making the rice sizers, I think I'd be happy with 275 cc, but since there's a slight loss with subpectoral surgeries AND so many people say they wish they'd gone a little bigger I'm thinking 300 cc. However, I'd rather end up a little on the small side than on the big side. I want to be able to conceal them nicely and easily. I need to talk further with him about which profile to use. I definitely want my natural tissue to be able to conceal the implants' edges, but I don't want everything to stick out really far, calling attention to itself which "high profile" sure sounds like it would do.
Feeling of Cohesive Silicone Implants?
To those of you who have cohesive silicone (gummy bear) implants: Do they feel like natural breast tissue? Does your husband long for the old days when your breasts weren't as pretty but felt authentic?
275cc or 300cc???
This morning I had an appointment with my PS to look at pictures of his former patients and their results. I'm very happy to say that I am more and more impressed with Dr. Gupta. Originally I chose to go see him because he's the lead plastic surgeon at Loma Linda Medical Center. Being very familiar with Loma Linda, I knew they would have extremely high standards for the person they put in that position. Also, Dr. Gupta heads their plastic surgery residency program, which is another distinguishable role. I was really surprised to see that the cost of having him do my BA was one of the more reasonable quotes in my area. So regarding safety, reputableness, quality of results and mindset, everything is great with him. Win, win, win!
Up until today I hadn't seen any photos of his work, and I was extremely pleased to see that every "after" photo was of a very natural-looking pair of breasts. Each photo showed full lower poles, gentle slopes from clavicles to nipples, and there wasn't an overly-round upper pole in sight.
After we talked about my individual case and I asked him a bunch of questions, I had the opportunity to try on some implants. Dr. Gupta said he prefers the rice-sizer method for actual appearance-evalution because they tend to conform similarly to implanted implants. Apparently just sticking an implant into your sports bra isn't going to give you as good of an idea of how things will look once it's all over.
So this is where my problem is...with both the rice-sizers and the implant-in-sports-bra methods I prefer the 275cc high profiles. The 300cc looked just a bit bigger than I'm comfortable with. Aesthetically both sizes looked nice, so it's not as if the 300s looked too big on my body, but I think it's just enough volume to push me into a different category than I've ever been in and I don't think I want the social and emotional changes that might come with that.
Of course we're only talking about 25cc here, and what I'm saying might sound somewhat ridiculous, but this is a big decision for me and I want to make it wisely. With the 275s I looked like me at my "very best", but still definitely me; I guess that's the best way to say it. I definitely want to be able to play things down and 300s might make that just a bit more difficult. My main point in doing this BA is to be happy with the appearance of my naked breasts, not to achieve a certain look in clothing that I can achieve right now with the right bra and some inserts.
Another thing is that I live in a hot climate so I spend a lot of the year in tank tops and t-shirts, and I prefer them snug, not baggy. When I saw the 300s underneath my tank top today I wondered how self-conscious I'd feel if that's what I was stuck with. Even the 275s looked more attention-grabbing than I really like, but the 250s were a bit too small.
This is difficult because I know most women wish they had gone bigger after it's all said and done, but I really think I might be the exception to that. Any input?
How much bleeding did your incisions have after surgery? I just bought a cute, comfy button up top for immediately after my procedure and I’m wondering if I’ll get to wear it again or if it’s likely to be ruined by blood stains.
I’m getting really excited! Much more so than I thought I’d be. My surgery is only 25 days away. When I first started considering doing this, I thought there was no harm in just finding out more about the procedure, educating myself, but I didn’t really think I’d actually do it. The whole thing scared me and it costs quite a bit of money. But, as I’ve learned more and more, I have gained confidence in my surgeon and the procedure itself, so even though I still don’t relish the thought of being sliced open, I know it’s not the big, horrible deal that I thought it was before. Women elect to do this all the time, and my surgeon has been doing performing this procedure for over 20 years.
Besides, I’ve already had three surgeries in my life: 1) Wisdom tooth removal, which took several days to recover from; 2) LASIK, which required a few days’ recovery, in addition to the fact that it was horrible having to watch as this scalpel descended upon my eyeballs to carve them up and reshape them! You can’t be unconscious or even close your eyes while that surgery is going on; 3) A couple of years ago I had my uterus removed transabdominally because of fibroid tumours. That last operation wiped me out for a long time. It was probably two months before I felt fairly normal again, and I was (and still am) in excellent health. I survived all of those surgeries and I suspect that this one will be much easier to recover from than any of those. Maybe not, but it likely will be based on what others have said.
Anyway, I just want to encourage anyone who is trying to decide if they should have a BA or not, continue to educate yourself and don’t let unreasonable fears hold you back. If it’s not a good financial choice right now then don’t do it until it is, or if you’re primarily considering it because your significant other is pressuring you then DO NOT do it. But, if this is something that you would like to do because you want to increase your enjoyment of living in the body you inhabit and you’ve looked at all the different angles and determine it’s a good option then find a good surgeon and explore the idea a bit more.
Implants fix stretched out nipples, right?
One of my biggest dislikes regarding my breasts is the stretched out, saggy state of my nipples. They aren't inverted in the true sense of the word, but they do collapse in on themselves due to their history of feeding hungry babies. Simply putting an implant behind them will not only fill in the larger area of breast tissue, but also push the nipples out and fill them up, too, right? That makes logical sense, but I'm curious if that has proved true for those of you who suffered from this and have since had a BA. Thanks!
My Distraction Plan
Even though the end result in clothing isn't going to look very different from how I look now with my padded bra, I'm still hoping people won't notice I've had a BA. Thus, I have a plan...a few days before my surgery I'm going to get a drastically different hairstyle so that if people see me and think, "Hmm...she looks different" they'll attribute that to the new 'do. :)
Yesterday I had my pre-op appointment. It went great. Dr. Gupta is wonderful. I've decided to go with the 300cc because I like the appearance of the 275cc rice sizers and he recommended going up a little since my pec majors will be suppressing the implants just a bit.
One of the medications he prescribed wasn't covered by my insurance and it was going to cost over $120...for ONE pill! Ha ha. I'm hoping we can come up with an alternative. I believe it was the anti-nausea med and although being nauseous sucks, I'd be willing to experience it for a few hours if it was going to save me $120+.
Two more weeks! :)
Good/Bad Boob Days
Just as I have good hair days and bad hair days, I also have good boob days and bad boob days. I think it all depends on how much and what type of hormone is coursing through my system at any point in my cycle. This morning while I showered I realized that if my breasts looked like this all the time then I wouldn't even consider a BA, but they don't. I had my husband take some pictures of my chest a couple of weeks ago so that I could see for sure how things really looked pre-op and I'm so glad I did, because those pictures are inspiration to go through with the surgery. Also, they'll serve as affirmers afterward if I ever wonder why I went through with it. They looked terrible! Extremely deflated with my nipples falling in on themselves. Also, I never before realized that one breast is actually larger than the other. Or perhaps they're just misshapen in their own special way and that's why they look so mismatched from each other. I don't know. But I DO know that I'm more and more excited about doing this!
To Purchase Emend or Not...
I really don't want to spend $120+ on one pill for nausea, especially because I never vomited once in my life until after the age of 20 and even then it was only a handful of times. Also, I don't recall nausea being a problem after my partial hysterectomy. My PS strongly suggested I take it and said there wasn't a suitable substitute. Grrr...I really don't want to regret not taking it, but it's so pricey and I wonder if it's even necessary. Did your doctor prescribe Emend? If not, did you have nausea? If so and you took it did you have nausea anyway?
Final Before Shots and an Insta-Bidet
I've appreciated seeing so many unclothed before and after shots that others have posted. However, I've told my kids adamantly that they should never post or send naked pictures of themselves to anyone because once the photos are out of your hands you have no control over them, so I'd feel a bit hypocritical posting some here. Clearly this is a different situation, not a sexting kind of thing, but still. Haha, I can't imagine anyone using pics of my poor boobies as an aphrodisiac. Trust me. My nipples are sunken in, stretched out and my girls sure ain't twinning as they're misshapen in their own unique ways, completely different from each other. Ugh. I feel kind of bad being so down on them because they worked really hard to nourish my little babies. These old girls sure deserve a make-over which is happening in three days!
I read that some women had difficulty cleaning their rears post-op and even bought tools on line to help them reach and clean. I didn't want to purchase anything like that, but as I was going through my cupboard the other day I saw a bottle of maple syrup and it sparked an idea. After my first baby was born, the hospital sent me home with a squirty bottle to douse my healing perineum. I'd fill it with warm water, aim, squeeze and clean everything quite thoroughly, sort of like a bidet. Well, I've no idea where that bottle is but I thought the maple syrup bottle might work well. I emptied it out, washed it and experimented. Voila! I feel slightly ridiculous how pleased I am with this idea AND that I'm sharing it, but hey, if it can help one person recuperate more comfortably, then it's worth it!
Even though I haven't posted pictures of my bare breasts here, I have taken some and kept them for my own records. When I uploaded them to my computer I tried to bury them in a folder within a folder within a folder away from all the other photos on our computer just to make sure they didn't get mixed in with pics of the kids carving jack-o'-lanterns and the shots of grandma's 80th birthday party. Smart, right? I thought so, but my tricky computer played a joke on me this afternoon. As I was working on something completely unrelated, a banner suddenly popped up on my monitor saying, "Look at the album we compiled for you!" complete with a close-up pic of my deflated twins. To say I was startled would be an understatement. Thank God I was the only one in the room at the time! I felt completely mortified and embarrassed even though I was completely alone. Our computer has NEVER done that before with any other photos we've uploaded and I have no way of knowing if it will ever do it again, maybe when my teen daughter and some of her friends are sitting here watching YouTube videos. Ugh...what am I going to do? Maybe I should just upload them here to my review and delete them from my computer even though I'm afraid my kids would think I'm a hypocrite if they ever found out. I want to have access to those pics so I can remember what horrors I delivered myself from on December 1st, 2016, but at what cost? What's a BA patient to do? Anyway, I hope this gives you all a laugh and I'd love some advice if you have any!
One Pre-Op Suggestion
I haven't seen anywhere that anyone recommends this, but it totally makes sense to me: Stretch your pectoralis major muscles before your surgery. Since the implants (for sub-muscular placement surgeries) goes under that muscle and the tightness post-op patients feel during the first few days is due to the muscle being stretched over the implant, why wouldn't we be advised to stretch beforehand? I've been stretching both sides for 60 seconds a day for the past month. Here's a link showing how to do the stretch. Start the video at the 30 second point to get right to the stretch: https://www.youtube.co/watch?v=jRY9-4VTCcw&t=20s
(I tried to upload it as a video but wasn't able to.) I'm hoping my efforts will minimize post-op discomfort. I'll let you know!
Yeah, Sometimes I Write Really Weird Poems...
I may or may not have once written one about a wart on my foot. :) Anyway, read on to experience my latest contribution to not-so-fine literature (and yes, it's meant to be silly!)...
~ An Ode to My Soon-to-be-Transformed Breasts ~
You fed my babies well for years
Until they were replete
But now you look as though you feel
Oh saggy bags of sustenance
Which hang from me so slack
I’ve plans to help you both regain
The charm which now you lack
Thus artfully a surgeon will
Restore your days of old
First lancing with a careful hand
A slit under your fold
Then orbs of silicone he’ll place
Deep within your centers
(Though I know not if he’ll opt for
Sientras or Mentors)
At last he will stitch up the gaps
He made when you were A’s
And bind you down upon my chest
To hibernate for days
Until you’re healed that I might loose
Those bonds where glory dwells
To stun my husband utterly
With your besotting selves
One of My Worries
If you look at the fifth picture I posted (frontal view in the white tank top), you can see how unlevel my nipples are. It's the oddest thing because I honestly didn't notice something that seems so obvious until my husband took some pictures of me a couple of weeks ago. I've had these boobs for three decades now and I never saw before how mismatched they are! I experimented yesterday by looking in the mirror to take note of my breasts' symmetry (or lack thereof) and then taking a photo of myself in the same moment. Every time my girls look fairly well matched in real life but like boobs from different bodies in the photos. Seriously, I know it sounds crazy, but even my husband agreed (and he's not the type to just go along with what I'm saying). I even took pics from different angles but that didn't change anything; the real sight looked okay, but the photographed boobs were totally askew. Has anyone else noticed this with their photos versus real life?
Anyway, I'm wondering if plumping things up is just going to exaggerate my boobs' differences. I don't want a couple of crazy-looking, cock-eyed non-twins. However, if the phenomenon holds true then I'll only notice it in photos and I'm not the type to pose for nude pics, so maybe everything will be just fine. :) I'm not second-guessing the surgery tomorrow. In fact, I'm extremely excited about it and would lie down on the gurney right now if it was an option.
Any thoughts on post-surgical asymmetry and mismatchedness?
Let the Boobification Begin!
1 Dec 2016
Day of treatment
Alright, just two and a half more hours until surgery starts! I just had a very fitful night of sleep, peppered with bad dreams like one about an anesthesiologist opening packages for the operation in front of me. Dream-me told him, "I don't think you're supposed to open those outside of the OR. It could cause contamination." He responded with a dismissive wave of his hand and, "We need to build up your immunities." I was very relieved to wake up from that!
Let's do this! So long sag-bags!!! :)
Whew! What a Wild, Exhausting Ride!
Sorry I didn’t update sooner. I wasn’t trying to be coy. It’s just that I went to my mom’s immediately after surgery and stayed there for three and a half days without any way of updating here.
First things first: On Thursday, I arrived at the surgical center before 7 am. On the drive over, my husband asked me to inform the surgeon that I was having this procedure of my own volition and I was under no pressure from him (hubby) whatsoever, which was absolutely true. I thought it was sweet that he wanted the PS to know that he’s a good guy. My man had encouraged me to give the PS a copy of my poem so I had one enclosed in an envelope to hand to the receptionist so she could pass it on at the appropriate time. I felt a bit silly about it because it’s obviously a very strange poem and this guy was about to cut me open whilst I was unconscious—not the prime time to introduce poetry! However, it worked out that the nurse was excited I’d written a poem and announced it to the doc as soon as he arrived so they asked me to give a little poetry reading before anything else happened. Haha. It was a pretty weird experience, but fun. They really liked the poem and asked me to print it up on card stock so they could post it somewhere in the office. (My name isn’t on it.) So that was all very nice! Georgia, the nurse, said that in her 12 years of working with Dr. Gupta, no patient had ever brought in poetry before, not that I’m surprised by that. :)
Then I met the anesthesiologist and that went great. He answered all my questions and told me some things he thought I should know. Then they walked me into the OR, laid me down, talked to me a bit more and the next thing I knew I was awake in another room. At first it was really hard to take normal breaths because moving my rib cage was quite an ordeal, but Georgia told me to concentrate on breathing normally and within an hour or so it felt significantly better.
I was informed that surgery went well. He put in the 300 cc HP Mentors and glued up the incisions. Perhaps I’ll write more about this at a later time, but I’m starting to get spent just sitting here typing these few paragraphs, so I want to get to the dramatic part of my recovery.
Since I’m extremely healthy and have a high tolerance for pain, I didn’t expect my recovery to be difficult. What I didn’t realize was that I don’t seem to deal well with Hydrocodone. I don’t know if it was just the HC or a combo of the HC with the valium I’m on or what but around 10 pm Thursday night I had a horrible reaction. I was shaking violently and couldn’t walk without my husband holding onto my waist to keep me from falling over, and our progress to and from the bathroom was VERY slow. My words were making sense as I spoke, but I had to think very carefully to be able to express what I was thinking, so I was talking super slowly, too. I felt panicky, not so much in an emotional way, but a physical way as my body was just shaking and my breathing was weird, not labored, but weird. At one point, I asked my husband to call the surgeon’s office because I didn’t know if I should go to the ER or not and then of course I was worried about the cost of that because the surgery I’d just had was elective and not covered by my regular health insurance. Even in my whacked-out state I didn’t want to later owe thousands of dollars for an ER visit just for wanting better breasts.
My husband’s responses to me were wonderful. Although I wasn’t out of it, I could tell he wasn’t too worried about what was going on (and he adores me, so if something that seemed truly bad was occurring then he’d be calling an ambulance). His sense of calm helped me realize that perhaps I was just behaving like a really irritating drunk person that sober people have to have patience with until the madness passes. And pass, it did. Right around 3 am on Friday, I awoke, and even just lying there I could tell that I was about 85% better. The shaking had stopped and I was able to walk unaided to the bathroom, though it was still rather slow going. My mind had cleared. I guess the meds had finally passed through my system. Thank God. I won’t be touching Hydrocodone again!
I don’t mean to scare anyone. I’m just keeping it real.
Okay, I’m about done sitting at this computer because my body has been through so much and I have got to lie down. I took a few pics that I’ll post later, but you’re probably all wondering how the new and improved girls are, soooo…
I’m pleased with the size. I think that 300 cc plus the small amount of natural breast tissue I had was a pretty good combination to result in what I’d like to end up with. We’ll see once the swelling goes down. As for the shape…well time and gravity need to do their magic. Rightie has dropped quite a bit already, but Leftie hasn’t, so it looks tall and narrow. They’re definitely mismatched, but that’s to be expected. I’m not worried. As for pain/discomfort: I’ve been able to sleep well with the help of the valium and advil, but sometimes I feel like a pack of hyenas is gnawing on Rightie for about twenty minutes. It’s a bunch of sharp, random pains all over the entire breast. Suddenly it subsides and stays at bay for several hours. I guess this means my nerves are waking up on that side first and I have that to look forward to for Leftie in the near future.
Okay, ladies, I’ve got to go lie down for a while. I’m glad I did this surgery, but I’m glad it’s behind me, especially Thursday night (yikes!). Hopefully I’ll be able to give you all some helpful info soon. Thanks for the care, encouragement and concern that so many of you have sent my way! XXOO
Photos Taken Three Days Post-Op
If I thought the girls were going to stay looking this way I'd be in a total panic, but I know it takes three months or longer for them to settle into their "permanent" state, so I'll wait patiently.
Please disregard the red Sharpie lines in the third picture. I hadn't showered yet. Actually, I have now, but my PS's lines are still faintly clinging on. It's pretty amazing they use Sharpies on us. Ha ha.
Alright. I'm exhausted again. Time to pop a valium and some Advil and say goodnight to you all. <3
Day of Surgery -- Post Op
Surprisingly, I wasn’t tempted to peek at the newly improved girls at all. I was so out of it from the anesthesia and the following Diazepam (Valium) that I could barely keep my eyes open for more than five seconds at a time for the first several hours.
My throat and mouth were extremely dry so I was drinking water non-stop but NOT peeing it out. At one point, my mom suggested weighing me and I was 12 pounds heavier than last week! I knew it had to be water retention though, so I wasn’t worried. Also, apparently each of my 300cc implants weighs 0.7 pounds each, so that’s another additional 1.4 lbs right there.
I had virtually no appetite whatsoever, but knew I had to eat things to cushion the multiple medications I was on, so every two or three hours I ate half a banana or a little cup of applesauce or a few bites of scrambled egg. Bread and crackers worked like sponges, sucking out what very little moisture I had in my mouth so I refrained from those.
Even though I did take the super expensive Emend pill the night before surgery, I still suffered from little bouts of nausea throughout the day, never to the point of vomiting, but still I was quite uncomfortable on account of it several times. So the question is: Did the Emend not work or would I have been puking my guts out had I not taken it? We’ll never know.
That first day it was painful to breathe deeply, but that had resolved within a day or two. Using my arms for much of anything was practically useless. I couldn’t get out of my mom’s reclined Lazy-Boy without lots of help to save my life.
There wasn’t any pain in my breasts at all on that first day, probably because the pain killers from surgery were still working their magic.
Oh, one funny thing was that my navel (which wasn’t hidden by the post-op binder) looked completely different than usual. Normally, it looks like a very round hollow, but now it was winking at me with a hood of skin lowering from its top. I actually thought it looked better, but figured it was because my body was retaining so much water that everything was changing a bit. Sure enough, the next day I started peeing every fifteen minutes and before I knew it the sexier version of my navel had morphed back into its former self. Oh well, I paid for boobs, not a new navel!
Then, right around 10 pm was when the Attack of the Debilitating Hydrocodone hit that I wrote about in a previous post. That was a really horrible five or so hours that I never want to relive. I kept wondering if I’d made a horrible mistake by getting this surgery, questioned who would be giving my eulogy and wondering if they’d be able to do it without making it obvious I’d died in the pursuit of less saggy breasts. My husband’s sense of calm and care preserved me, but it still REALLY sucked. Hydrocodone is on the naughty list for me for the rest of my life; that’s for sure. Advil may not work quite as well pain-killer wise, but at least it’s not going to send me to the looney-bin. That being said, I am an individual and HC works GREAT for most people, so don’t assume your system is just like mine and don’t refuse it if your doc prescribes it for you. Just talk to her about it and share your concerns if you have any so she can address them.
First Day After Surgery
Keeping track of all the meds I have to take is a full-time job, especially since I'm not supposed to take certain ones at the same time. There are the antibiotics, the stool softener, the pain killer, the muscle relaxant and the thyroid meds (which I always take). I have absolutely no appetite, which is crazy for me because I LOVE to eat. (That's why I go to the gym so much.) However, I keep eating little bits here and there to give my meds something to dissolve into.
So on day 2 I felt enormously better than on surgery day. It was easier to use my arms to get up and move around, and I had no nausea.
There was a bit of numbness in the lower poles of my breasts, but still no actual pain in them. In fact, the only pain I felt was on the sides of my rib cage, lateral to my breasts. There were bruises there, on both sides. I don't know what they did to those areas during surgery, but it was pretty rigorous because I was SORE.
Boob-wise things were still pretty mismatched. Rightie looked more like a nice improvement over its former self, not too high and a nice-diameter, whereas Leftie was still reaching up toward the clavicle and narrow since so much of its volume was stretched up to practically my shoulder. They kind of looked like a weird number "10" with a narrow 1 on one side and a round zero on the other. Things will improve; I know.
I felt quite unsteady on my feet. Balance has never been one of my stronger points, but on day 2 when I was getting up from a sitting position I had to be careful and hold on to something to keep from tipping.
Taking a shower was nice. My husband shampooed my hair for me and made sure I didn't fall over at any point.
Overall, Day 2 was a huge improvement over Surgery Day, but I still had a long way to go before getting back to normal.
Third Day After Surgery
I skipped a day of reporting on recovery because nothing of much note occurred and I don't want to bore you all. I did feel a little better than the previous day and Leftie dropped slightly.
On Saturday, I weighed myself and had dropped seven pounds since my previous weigh-in two days earlier! That's what urinating every half hour will do for you when you've been retaining water.
Using my arms got easier and easier though I was still being careful about not over-using them. I was super thirsty, still not hungry and my ribs were still extremely sore. Did they squeeze me with a vice when I was unconscious or what? ;)
Pain in my actual breasts began today. Probably it's due to the nerves awakening. It was actually only in the right side and felt like bee stings over and over from my nipple outward. Lightly rubbing it seems to subside it a bit which makes me glad I didn't have to be at a job today. Catching sight of me constantly rubbing my bosom probably wouldn't go over well with fellow employees, unless they're perverted weirdos!
Went on a little walk with my mom on Sunday around her neighborhood. It was probably about one mile on level ground. We went rather slowly, for my sake, not hers. It was good, but when it was over I was glad.
One piece of advice I read from another Realselfer that was extremely invaluable (I wish I recall who it was so I could give her credit) was to keep a little notebook and pen nearby so you could immediately write down what meds you took at what time and when you were supposed to take them again. I included a photo of my record so you could see what I'm talking about. I was also able to scribble down things I wanted to remember so I could be encouraged by my progress like in this photo "Using arms much easier".
One last thing I wanted to mention was regarding talking to Dr. Gupta right before surgery. I reminded him (because I was paranoid about it!) that I wanted a nice slope from clavicle to nipple without a balled-up roundness in the upper pole. He very kindly reassured me that he wasn't concerned about that roundness occurring because I had chosen a fairly conservative size so the volume of it would descend and not bunch up on top due to having no where else to go. I mention this to you ladies in case you're really wanting big boobs, but also want a natural look. I suspect the two can't easily be achieved simultaneously, but be sure to talk to your own PS.
Alright, time for some more pain killers. Peace out, girlies!
Made Myself Laugh Last Night...
This recovery has really kicked my butt. It's been much slower than I expected. So when my husband got home from work last night, I felt rather embarrassed that I was still in my pajamas and my hair was clearly untended to.
I started laughing because I realized that even though I had the BA to look and feel sexier, ever since the surgery I've looked like total shit! Ha ha ha! :)
First Post-Op Appointment
I didn't take any Valium this morning, but I was still falling asleep in the waiting room before my appointment.
Once I got in there for the appointment, Dr. Gupta said my surgery had gone textbook perfectly, and assured me that even top-conditioned athletes on whom he performs BAs are pretty much out of commission for two full weeks. (Keep that in mind if you're figuring out time tables for your own operation, juggling work and other responsibilities.)
He said the extremely sore parts on the sides of my rib cage are due to his index fingers pressing hard against there during the operation to get my pec majors into place to receive the implants. He showed me how to press down on the top of the implants at a 45° angle to help them along in their quest for the lower pole, and instructed me to do that thrice a day for five-30 second repetitions.
He also gave me the dreaded strap to wear during the day. I've got it on right now and want to rip it off and throw it across the room like I used to do with my orthodontia headgear when I was 12.
All in all it was a good appointment and I'm still very glad with the doc I chose and the size and type of implant I opted for.
Btw, I never needed to use my maple-scented bidet because my arms are working much better than I anticipated. I'd say the worst things about my recovery have been: 1) The overall sense of exhaustion; 2) The tenderness in my ribcage and right breast; 3) The unsteadiness on my feet. (I keep almost walking into walls.) Other than that I'm doing well and feeling emotionally fine.
I hope you post-BAers are progressing well and you pre-BAers are getting all of your important questions answered. Feel free to ask me some!
Sleeping Elevated at a 30° to 40° angle
When my doc told me I'd have to keep my torso elevated several degrees while sleeping, I really wasn't sure how that was going to work, so I experimented with a billion pillows and came up with something that was pretty comfy. The pics and captions are fairly self-explanatory. Just make sure you place your rear-end at the base of the middle-vertical pillow so that it's not just your head that's elevated. After all, the whole point is to let gravity do a little work on your implants while you're sleeping.
In other news, right now I'm not wearing my jogging bra and my torture strap is loosely hanging around my waist like a useless belt. I feel like a very non-compliant patient, a very comfortable one, but a naughty girl indeed. ;)
Improvements in All Areas
I definitely feel better and better with each day that passes. My digestive tract is almost back to normal. I'm down to 2 Advil (200 mg each) every 4 or 5 hours for pain. My appetite is slowly returning. I only take a Valium right before I go to bed each night instead of every 6 hours. (Those really help me sleep well!) I've got a bit more energy and although I'm certainly not ready to take on my normal routine, I'm no longer stuck on the couch watching episode after episode of Fixer Upper (which was a pleasant way to pass the time, btw!)
I've included pictures to show my breasts' progress. The appearance of Rightie is quite nice, but see how Leftie's nipple is sort of pointing downward? That's because a lot of the implant is far too high in the upper pole. Apparently my left pec major doesn't want to let it slip down. Dr. Gupta showed me a way to try to push it into place which I've been doing religiously for the past two days. It seems to have helped a bit, but more time and gravity are needed.
In person, the presentation of the girls is actually much nicer than in photos (I referred to this strange phenomenon in a previous update). I'd definitely like the left implant to drop lower to widen the diameter of the breast as a whole, fill in the lower pole and lift the nipple, but if nothing improved beyond how it is right now I'd still be happier with my results than how things were previously, and I'm only one week in! :)
I put on some of my old lingerie last night and it was so wonderful to see the difference that 300cc can make!
I hope you're all having a good day. I'm going to try to be a good girl and wear this strap of torment for the majority of the day. Wish me luck and determination!
Here's a shout out to Anouska_21! I'll bet you're out of surgery now and starting recuperation. Take it slow and don't be discouraged. :)
Well, They Must Be Softening Up...
...because today, when my husband gently grabbed a hold of Rightie, he announced, "Hey, it no longer feels like I'm fondling a mannequin!"
The Strap of Torment
How to make the strap more bearable:
1) Buy the softest bra you can find. (I got a Hanes brand, style G796 on clearance yesterday for $8 at Target). It's not nearly as supportive as my sports bra, but so much more comfortable. The sports bra was pressing my tender girls up and in while the strap was pushing them down -- not a good (or even logical!) process. Also, my ultra-sensitive nipples were not happy with the meanie sports bra.
2) Wear your clothes in this order: 1st - Super soft bra; 2nd - Super soft t-shirt; 3rd - Torturous strap; 4th - Zipped-up hoodie to conceal the evil strap. In this order, only cuddly, nice material is actually touching your tender flesh at any given spot.
3) Position the strap so the horizontal stretch of it across your front is higher, angles down under your arms and then the horizontal stretch of it across your back is much lower. (I know this sounds confusing, so please see the posted photo of the woman in a white dress and mimic the top line of her strapless dress with your strap placement.) This way, the strap is actually pulling down on the implants a bit and it's not digging into your armpits.
4) If you have to loosen the stupid strap a bit to make it bearable then do so. Having it so tight that you want to rip it off and toss it into the fireplace isn't going to do any good, but having it a bit looser than its ideal tightness level will do some good.
Okay, I've implemented all of these strategies and have successfully worn my strap for well over an hour. That may not sound like much to celebrate, but it's a new personal record, so yay for me! Perhaps posting this like I'm some expert on strap-tolerance is a bit premature, but these methods have certainly made my strapped-in morning (AKA hour and a half) more tolerable so far.
Happy dropping and fluffing!
Moving Right Along...
Today was the first day I went to church since the Big Event. No one looked at me sideways or assessingly long, so I think I’m in the clear for detection. (Not that my friends there would judge me for it. I love my church peeps!) Actually, I’ll probably end up telling a number of the ladies at some point, if it’s relevant to present conversation. I just want to get used to the whole thing myself first, and tell my daughter first who’s away at college. But it was very nice to be there the whole two hours and not once perceive that someone might be wondering about my little secret.
As for the girls, they’re looking great! When undressed I marvel at how nice and big they are, but they’re very concealable under clothing, which is exactly what I wanted. I hope Leftie drops a bit more to match the other, but even as they are they’re quite nice.
My overall recovering body feels really good, too, so much better than even three or four days ago, so hang in there if you’re still in your first week or so post-op!
Right now, my only symptoms are I get tired more quickly than usual and I have pronounced breast and nipple tenderness. I still can’t cross my arms across my chest comfortably or sleep on my side, and of course I’m not lifting heavy things, but other than that, life’s fairly normal. I’ll post a few pictures in a few days.
I Had a Bad, Bad Dream Last Night...
...that my left implant was sliding all over the place. First it abandoned its post to fall into my armpit. Next it decided to hang out around my navel. Finally it settled, all cozied up to my right implant, resulting in an uncentered uniboob. I was so relieved to wake up from that 'cause I was FREAKING out!
Any input on how long the extreme breast tenderness is supposed to last? I know we're all different, but anyone know the average amount of time? I'd really like to be able to hug people and cuddle with my husband without flinching and cringing.
Two Weeks Post-Op Today
Physically: This second week has been SO much better. I’ve primarily just had to deal with extreme breast/nipple tenderness (which has decreased dramatically in the past two days) and the inability to sleep in any other position than on my back.
Aesthetically: Rightie is gorgeous. Leftie is still taller and a bit narrower, with a downturned nipple like it’s searching the ground for spare change. But I’m only two weeks post, so I’m not discouraged, and I’ve devised a way to use the strap to try to keep Rightie right whilst coaxing Leftie into the southern hemisphere.
Softness-level: They’re still very firm. Remember the “Abs of Steel” video from the 90s? Well, for the first two or three days, I had “Boobs of Steel”. They’re definitely better now than that. Now they kind of feel like if a life-sized Barbie was to wear a padded bra. They’ll get to be cuddly eventually!
Memory Foam and Telling My Daughter
Last night, I had another horrible-boob dream. In this one, instead of being made of silicone gel, my implants were fashioned out of memory foam, so when my husband gave them a proper squeeze, they'd conform to the shape inside his fist and we'd watch them slowly re-expand from squished down status to their pre-formed shape. It was horribly unsexy and I was very upset with myself for not doing better research pre-op to figure out which type of implant was the best one for me. Haha. Again, I was so relieved to wake up!
My mother-in-law (one of the few people I told about the operation) came by a couple of days ago. It was the first time we've seen each other since my BA. I wanted to play a trick on her by stuffing my bra full of wadded up socks so when I opened the door I'd look all huge and lumpy and try to play it off naturally, but I thought my father-in-law might be with her, so I didn't.
My daughter arrived home last week. She was here well over 24 hours before I told her about the BA. I led in with the "Remember how glad you said you were that we put braces on your teeth...?" line and ended with "Two weeks ago, I had a boob job." The look on her face was great. I could tell I had REALLY surprised her. I guess she never thought dear old mom would do such a thing. Well, I'm still having a hard time believing it myself, so I understand! Once the shock wore off, she seemed totally fine with it. Then she started asking questions about what my boobs had been like at her age and then post pregnancy/breastfeeding, etc. She's thinking about her own future body!
Three Weeks Post-Op and a Really Odd Climax
Okay, I know that headline grabbed your attention, so I'll just get right to it: Two nights ago, my husband and I had sex and I was feeling well enough to climax for the first time since my BA. Right as it began, the muscles in my chest began to spasm and kind of killed the whole thing. I don't know it that's because my chest has just been through so much and the muscles are sensitive to everything that's going on, but I'm really hoping that's not a new regular addition to our sex life.
Physically: I feel great! In fact, yesterday I was doing some work at the computer when I suddenly thought, “I wonder why my boobs feel kind of weird.” Then I laughed and thought, “Well, I *did* recently have them cut open and stuffed full, so maybe that’s it! Duh!” I guess if I’m forgetting that I just had surgery then I’m doing pretty darn well. I mean, they still don’t feel normal by any stretch of the imagination. They’re a little achy and the nipple sensitivity is still a minor issue, but all-in-all, things feel pretty good. The past couple of days I’ve been able to sleep on my right side for a little while. It’s not the most comfortable, but it’s a nice break from always being on my back. Also, I can now cross my arms across my chest, not super-comfortably, but I couldn’t do it at all before, so that’s improvement. Probably the worst thing about my recovery at this point is that the end of one of my internal sutures is popping out of Rightie’s incision. I’m watching it carefully for signs of infection, and it seems fine, but it’s kind of unnerving to see and feel it. I hope it’s not a direct line for bacteria to infect my vulnerable parts internally. My doctor isn’t working this week since it’s right before Christmas, so I can’t get in the office for him to clip it. It doesn’t seem worth going to urgent care to have some other doctor do it, but I’d sure like it to be taken care of.
Aesthetically: Leftie no longer looks as if it’s searching the ground for dropped quarters, but its nipple still needs to come up a bit to match Rightie. I’m quite pleased with how they’re looking until I take photos. They still look quite mismatched in pics. Good thing I never aspired to pose for any lads’ mags. They’re great up close and personally, which is right where my only “lad” is. Yes, my husband is very happy. :)
Softness-Level: They’re getting softer and softer, but still have a way to go. However, I’ve noticed when I’m out walking that they’re starting to jiggle a bit which is nice!
Four Weeks Post-Op and No Boob-Greed Here!
Physically: Other than the occasional situation where my arms or chest feel slightly strained from reaching too far or at a weird angle, I feel pretty much normal. The breast tenderness and nipple sensitivity that peaked during week 2 have decreased to about 15% of what they were at their worst. I can cross my arms across my chest reasonably comfortably now. There’s still about a half-inch space between my breasts if I try to push them together, but they’ve always been wide-set, so that might not change. I can fall asleep and stay asleep for a good while on my side because things don’t feel like they’re pulling strangely in my front anymore. The stitch in my right incision is still protruding (getting that taken care of on Tuesday), but it’s not too bothersome. As for tense muscles during climaxing, that is still an issue but less so. When I was on a walk in the cold the other night, they tensed up in a similar fashion. I think my pec major muscles are just very sensitive to whatever is going on with the rest of my body because they endured so much just a month ago. They’re a weather-vane of sorts. :)
Aesthetically: Leftie is still improving, but taking its time. I can tell the upper edge of its implant is higher than the upper edge of Rightie. However, my left nipple has continued to shift upwardly so leveling out is happening. All in all I’m happy and would definitely opt for having them as they are now than how they were before surgery—NO doubt about that. In clothing, they look beautiful. I think I chose the perfect size, which is such a relief since I belabored that decision so thoroughly. They’re big enough to make me feel feminine all the time, sexy when I want to play that up, and still concealable if I don’t want the people around me to be so aware of them. Yes, I can honestly say I’m not suffering from the ubiquitous “boob-greed” that strikes so many. I didn’t want them so big that I’d have to buy a whole new wardrobe. I love my snug t-shirts and tanks. (I have a small waist and wide hips/stocky legs, so if I wear baggy tops I just look shapeless and dumpy.) My post-op boobs aren’t so big that they create those horizontal stretch lines between them when a t-shirt is too tight. You know, those stretch lines that scream at everyone around you “This poor shirt can barely contain the massive tatas within!” Yeah, that’s definitely not my style!
Softness-Level: They’re softer and more mobile on my chest wall than in weeks past, but they still feel a little water-balloonish. However, my husband hasn’t complained at all and I know that they’ll continue to soften. I really would like to have natural-feeling breasts, but even if they stayed the way they are now forever, I’d take that over the saggy, deflated bags I had before.
*Feeling pretty happy*
I’m happy to say that my left implant is continuing to drop and my left nipple is almost at the same latitudinal line as my right nipple. That was my biggest concern in regards to the asymmetry I’ve seen in my post-op breasts. Another issue I’m facing is that the fullness in Leftie’s lower pole is positioning itself differently than that in Rightie’s lower pole. I’ve included pics so you can see what I mean. There’s more of a crease under L as if the implant is settling into an overhang, whereas the border of R isn’t so creased. Rather, it just kind of juts out and off of my chest wall at an almost 90° angle. Another way to think of it is, I could probably tuck a pencil into the fold under L and it would stay there, but that wouldn’t work under R. Haha, I know this is confusing based on my words, so look at the pictures! :) I’m actually fine with either arrangement of protrusion (wow, doesn’t that sound sexy?), but I do hope that they both end up the same way instead of an example of this kind over here and an example of the other over there. Right now they still look kind of like breasts from two different bodies because of their differences. It’s still WAY better than pre-op, though, so I’m not exactly complaining.
I see my doctor tomorrow for my second post-op appt. Maybe he'll tell me to start wearing an underwire bra to increase the crease under the right side. That's my prediction, but what do I know? ;)
One thing I’ve done over the past few days is look at how other women’s breasts progressed when they were at the same spot on the post-op timeline as me. We’re all our own worst critics. I realize that when I truly study those other breasts I do see variations between the sets, but the asymmetry on others doesn’t stand out to me like a sore thumb on other women like my own does.
I’m still quite happy!
One Month Post-Op Pics
Sorry if there are duplicate pictures posted. The captions weren't saving the first time I posted them and I tried to remove the doubles but it didn't seem to work.
Five Week Post-Op Appointment
Things are going great! Dr. Gupta said that Rightie is fully dropped and fluffed and Leftie will most likely continue to progress toward that in the next couple of months.
Before I say anything else, I want to mention what a great job Dr. Gupta did on my incisions. I mean, he did an excellent job with everything, but every time I get out the hand-held mirror to inspect my incisions, I’m really impressed. They are short, smooth and even. They have no ridges or bumps. He didn’t use external stitches, only internal (btw, he clipped off that little edge that was emerging), and then he glued the outer edges of the incisions together. I don’t know how he did it so precisely, but he did! They’re so neat and tidy.
So at my appointment, he said everything is looking really good. I don’t have to wear the strap anymore (yippee!), or wear a bra 24/7. Previously he had me pushing down on the implants with my hands and holding that position for 30 seconds x 3 repetitions/3 times a day. Now he wants me to just do 1 repetition of that/3 times a day but then push the implant (only the left one now since R is fully dropped) inwardly toward my sternum for 30 seconds x 2 repetitions/3 times a day. He’s prescribing this because my left lower pole needs to fill up the lower medial portion of the pocket he created to match the R side better.
For scar care, he advised rubbing a drop of vitamin E oil into both scars twice a day for 30 – 60 seconds. I’m supposed to rub quite firmly and only in a length-of-the-scar direction (not perpendicularly across the scars) because this breaks down the collagen fibers that are forming in the incision site, ensuring that primarily the fibers that are parallel to the scar remain. This forms a smoother and more even scar.
He said the asymmetry of my breasts would continue to resolve itself and that based on his many years of experience he thought my under-creases would end up being the same (see my last post) and my nipples would level out.
As for an underwire bra, he said I could wear one, but I ought to remove the wire under the left cup to encourage Leftie to keep dropping. He also encouraged me to start jogging since I’m a runner. I guess that would coax Leftie south a bit, too.
Although I mentioned my pec majors spasming, I didn’t say anything about it happening during a climax. (That’s just a bit too personal even though I was sitting there partially undressed while talking to him!) I just stuck with the shivering on a cold walk at night and feeling them spasm story. He said that’s not unusual and will probably be gone in another two months.
Finally, he said I should wait another week before going swimming. As for other exercise, he said I could start doing all of my regular activities late next week, but I should ease myself back into everything slowly to build back up to what I could do previously.
Physically: I feel great! Seriously, I feel almost completely normal. I’ve been exercising (still no upper body strengthening) but I haven’t been pushing myself while doing so. I’ll start testing my limits a bit more after next week. Surprisingly, I haven’t gained any weight even though my exercise routine has been significantly altered. However, I think a big part of that is that I’ve lost some muscle mass which is heavier than fat. The nipple sensitivity and breast tenderness are almost completely gone.
Aesthetically: Better and better, still waiting for improved symmetry, but quite pleased with their present state.
Softness-Level: Improving, still don’t feel like natural breasts, but they’re somewhat cuddly.
One last thing: Lots of ladies on here take note of when their augmented breasts actually felt like “their own” or like they “belonged”. Well, I’ve felt that way about mine since I woke up from surgery. Sure, they felt like they were injured and in need of some serious rest and healing, but they never felt like foreign objects that had invaded my thorax. I’m supposing that’s because the size of implants I went with took me to a size that I was when I was breast-feeding. They’d been that big and tender before, so it seemed pretty familiar.
I hope you’re all doing well! :)
A Work-Out Warning and the World of Bralettes
Hey girls, beware! Not only do you need to ease into work outs for your arms post-BA, but apparently you need to ease back into working out any part of your body. I certainly didn’t stop exercising altogether over the past 6 weeks, but I did take it easier on my legs and abs as I was recovering. Well, three days ago, I was pushing myself back up to pre-op levels with my hips and woke up the next morning in horrible pain. I’ve heard of people throwing their backs out, well my left hip was “out”. It wasn’t muscle soreness from good exercise. Rather, it felt like I had worked the muscles really hard when things weren’t in alignment and now everything was trying to work together while it was still out of alignment. Not a good situation! I then had to take the next few days to recover so as to not exacerbate it more, and it’s really hard for me to just sit still because I always feel like I can sense my thighs thickening and my butt widening in my chair. :( Anyway, I’m going to *slowly* ease myself back into things because I don’t want to go through that again. I’m even considering going to see a physical therapist to see what I can do proactively to avoid that in the future as my hip has felt kind of iffy for a few years now, although it’s never gone out like that before. At one point I was shaky and felt nauseous because of the weird, horrible pain.
In other news, I went bra shopping for the first time since surgery. I plugged my stats into multiple bra-size calculators and most of them informed me I wear a 34 DD. Well, that’s surprising since I only went up 300cc and they really don’t look that big to me, but whatever. However, I couldn’t find a single 34 DD in either of the stores I went to. Maybe I just don’t understand bra sizing, but everything with a 34 band length was far too tight. So would the band on a 34 DD likely fit me since that’s what the calcs said? I always thought a 34 band was the same length no matter the cup size. Is that not true? Also, some C cups and D cups fit just fine while other Cs were too small and other Ds were way too big. I ended up bringing home one 36C as it was the best fit and it looked like I could take the underwire out from under my left breast (to encourage dropping) without too much difficulty.
However, one thing I discovered is that I really don’t want to wear underwire bras anymore. I’ve discovered the beautiful world of bralettes! As someone who previously needed to buy bras with lots of padding just to have some shape and projection, bralettes were never a real option for me. Now I don’t want any padding, just enough lining to conceal my nipples in a cold room. I’m going to wait until my doc says my breasts are settled enough and then I’ll buy a bunch of pretty, soft, comfortable bralettes, assuming they give me the proper support. So fun!
Little update on my recovery: Boob-wise things feel great. The only time my girls feel a little overly-sensitive is when my husband is expressing his appreciation for them a bit too exuberantly. (“Gently, darling! Gently!”) I notice slight improvements in my left dropping as the days pass. Even if it stopped where it’s at right now I’d be fine with it. Feeling happy! :)
I hope you all are doing well, no matter what stage you’re at in this process.
7 Weeks Post-Op
Physically: I’ve felt pretty much normal for the past three weeks, really great (at least boob-wise but I’m having some other health issues). I have full range of motion with my arms and I’m lifting things without problems. I’m still easing back into lifting weights, but I feel great! Oh, there is one thing physically that’s a bit weird—when I shift my left implant around in its pocket for massage, there’s a slight, weird feeling that’s really hard to describe. It’s almost like something’s catching inside there between the implant and my chest wall as it lifts and then catches again on its way back down. Anyway, it’s not painful, just sort of odd.
Aesthetically: Still hoping that they’ll balance out a bit more visually and that my left implant will fill in medially so that the undercreases are more similar to each other, but remembering where I came from and where I am now I’m extremely thankful and happy.
Softness-level: This is probably the closest thing to disappointment I’m feeling right now about the whole BA. My breasts are WAY softer than they were the first couple of weeks, and I’d even go so far to say that they are comfortable for me and “comforting” for my husband and any little babies I might hold close, but they really don’t feel like natural breasts. There’s a soft layer of natural breast tissue on the outside, but underneath they really do feel like full water balloons, especially when I’m lying down. Sooo…if super soft boobies is important to you then you might want to think twice before having a BA. Does anyone know if they’re likely to continue to soften after 7 weeks? I’m supposing that since mine are pretty much dropped and fluffed that that means my pec majors have relaxed and I don’t know what else would need to happen for an increase in softness.
Regardless, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat as they are miraculously gorgeous compared to the deflated, saggy bags I had before.
Sweet Moments with my Man
This morning I wanted to take advantage of having an empty house, so while my husband was in the shower, I put on some lingerie and sauntered over to him. His eyes lit up and he asked with a smile, “Is that new?”
I laughed and responded, “I’ve had this for 20 years; it just looks a little different now.”
A little later he informed me, “Your tits feel great!”
Hearing this unsolicited comment was especially nice because (as you may have read in my previous post) I think my breasts feel a bit water-balloonish at this point in my recovery. I haven’t shared that with him because I don’t want to put negative thoughts in his head, so to hear him address a slightly bothersome issue in such a positive light was heartening.
Finally, I told him that I’d like to go to the nearby mall where there’s a Victoria’s Secret and a Fredrick’s of Hollywood, but I didn’t want him to go in to either store with me because I don’t like him to see how the same garments look on the unrealistically perfect models since he’ll be seeing them on me. He got a look on his face like he thought that was dumb and said, “Don’t even worry about it. You look amazing!”
This all made for a very pleasant morning. :)
Two Month Update
Physically: I feel fantastic! I haven't had nipple over-sensitivity/breast tenderness for a few weeks now. I have full sensation in both breasts' entirety. That strange feeling of "catching" in my left breast when I move it around has lessened. I suspect it's a trapped air bubble (will ask at my 3 month appointment) because sometimes it's on the lateral side and sometimes on the medial, so it's behaving like a bubble. Anyway, the feeling of it isn't as pronounced. As for spasming pecs during sex and other activities, that has lessened as well. There's still a bit of it, but I'm able to enjoy a climax without a spasm throwing cold water on it two seconds in. I've definitely lost a lot of muscle mass because of the decrease in strengthening exercises over the past two months. I'm building myself back up to my previous levels, but that's going to take some time. Sleeping on my side works well with the right pillow placement. Before, my breasts felt uncomfortable no matter how I situated the pillows but now they settle themselves nicely when I'm on my side. All in all, it's hard for me to believe that I had such an invasive surgery only two months ago.
Aesthetically: My nipples have definitely leveled out. My left breast was consistently and slowly dropping over the first seven weeks, lagging behind Rightie which had dropped fully within the first three or four weeks. Until recently, if I pushed the right implant up in its pocket, it would immediately settle back into place once I let go, whereas when Leftie was pushed up, it would slowly and visibly sink back into place. Well, last week, I woke up one morning and Leftie behaved exactly like Rightie when pushed up. I took that to mean it was fully dropped. It still, however, isn't as "fluffed" as my right side, meaning the lower medial portion of my left breast (your right in the photos) isn't as filled in as its counterpart's lower medial area. I regularly push the implant in that direction to hopefully stretch that area of the pocket in hopes it will start to fill it. Still, the folds are different, with a deeper crease under Leftie. I'm hoping that will even out, but even if it doesn't it's not a real big deal.
Softness-level: They are soft and fairly cuddly, but there's still a definite core of a much more solid feeling mass (the implant, of course!) inside. However, you have to definitely squeeze to feel it, and the only ones who interact with my breasts in that way are my husband and the mammographer. My husband says they feel great, so there you go! I am thinking about my next mammogram. I know there's a method that techs are supposed to utilize when screening breasts with implants, but who's to say the tech I get will do it properly? This is something I thought about before having the surgery, so it's not news to me, but I'm hoping to gain more confidence in not having an implant rupture inside a machine. Of course MRIs are a safer option, but they're more pricey. Any experiences or thoughts?
Overall, I'm very happy, have no regrets and would do it again in a heartbeat.
Three Month Update
Things are going great! I have no pain and no physical limitations. The girls look wonderful, not perfectly symmetrical, but still really good. As you can see in my pic, my left one looks a little bit angular on the underside. At my 3 mo post op appointment, my PS noticed that before I even said anything and he said that if it still looks like that at my 6 mo post op appointment then he’ll do a quick, easy procedure in his office to fix it.
As for softness, they feel really good, not like a natural breast, but I’m not complaining. However, if it’s extremely important to you that you end up with boobs that feel like authentic boobs, then you should probably forego the whole procedure and stick with what God gave you, because my Mentor silicone implants are supposed to be some of the more “real feelers” and they just ain’t, truth be told.
Still no boob greed. I’ve got the perfect size for me. I’ve gone through my closet and realized that some of my snugger tops will have to go because I just don’t want that kind of attention, so keep in mind that 300cc can look pretty sizable to some of us even though lots of women end up wanting more.
I’m so glad I had this procedure and that I chose my awesome doctor, Dr. Gupta!
Four Month Post-Op Update and a Case for Choosing Implants on the Smaller Side
During the first two months, my right breast dropped more quickly, but in the last two, my left one caught up and actually dropped a bit beyond there. The left’s lower pole looks a tad bit lower than the right’s and it has a little less roundness in the upper pole. They still look great, though, and even if the right doesn’t continue its descent to match the left it will be just fine.
I’m completely on the fence with whether or not I will request my PS to perform the minor procedure to alter the slight angularity of the under part of my left breast. Sure, I’d like it to be a little more rounded, but everything has healed so nicely (as you can see by the pics of my incisions) and I’d hate to undo some of that in pursuit of an ideal pair which won’t happen. I mean, even if the angularity is fixed, there will be some other minor thing that presents itself to keep my results from being totally perfect. That’s just reality and I’m totally okay with that. There’s still time to decide. My PS wouldn’t even consider doing the procedure before June, so I could talk with him more extensively, tell him my concerns and reevaluate from there with the info he gives me. He emphasized that the procedure wouldn’t be a big deal at all, nothing like the initial surgery. We’ll see…
Physically, I would say the only issue I’m facing is I wake up each morning with a slightly sore chest, kind of like my muscles are tired of supporting the implants in that horizontal position. It happens whether I’m on my back or side. Nothing major, hardly note-worthy. I guess it’s a very mild case of Frankenboob. Every morning and evening I diligently perform my massage to keep the implants mobile and the capsules supple. As someone in the medical field, I see patients with contractures of all sorts on a regular basis and I don’t want to be one of them.
They still don’t feel like truly natural breasts and I’ve accepted that they likely never will. That’s fine. They're reasonably soft and they move nicely with me when I walk.
My incisions look great. The resolution of the pics I’m posting isn’t too good, but trust me when I say they are smooth though a bit darker than the skin around them.
I’m still very happy with the size and profile I chose (300cc HP) and think it’s a good idea to opt for implants that aren’t super big, the reasons being:
~Less likelihood for complications like bottoming out
~They don’t interfere with physical activity
~They’re easy to play up when you want to, yet still concealable
~They don’t require as large of incisions to get them in there (I think, but maybe this is an ill-founded assumption. It makes sense though!)
~If you have to explant in the future for whatever reason, your natural breasts won’t be as stretched out and deflated once the implants are out
~It’s easy to find clothing and bras that fit
~Smaller implants have a tendency to look more natural
~Some women with larger implants complain of looking matronly
Anyway, I’m not trying to persuade everyone to go smaller. I’m just explaining why I’m pleased with my decision. Do whatever you want while taking into consideration what an excellent, board-certified PS recommends for your individual anatomy and situation.