I've been looking on real self for about 3 years...
I've been looking on real self for about 3 years now, watching many women go through the process of having their implants removed. I have wanted to do it for 5+ years now but quite frankly have been quite frightened by the idea of how I will look after. Just as every woman I have followed has felt. So I decided last year that 2015 was the year and I would use my tax refund as a gift to myself and have them removed. Well, I just got the refund today and got a cold chill because its finally time and Im not going to back out. I called the DR I saw about the removal 2 years ago and scheduled an appointment to talk to him for Feb 6th. I am a cocktail of mixed emotions right now. Excited, ready, quest, scared, etc. I am a single mom and while the attention my breast have gotten can be fun at times, its mainly a pain. I get men talking to my breast instead of me. People feel that its ok to ask me, quote loudly, if my boobs are real. Im a small woman. 5'1" and weigh 110 lbs. My bra size is 32D or 32DD. HEAVY AND PAINFUL. I worry about being comfortable enough naked afterward to even attempt at an intimate relationship with anyone. UGH. Im sure it won't be pretty. I've seen some amazing results on here and I am PRAYING that my results will be the same.
So I cannot actually tell what my implant sizes are because in my embarrassment of actually having implants I discarded the information from my dr who implanted me. Along with the before photos. Bad, I know. But I hated to admit even to myself that I had done this to myself and I wanted no reminders. I will try to find some pics from before and I will take pics later from now and post them.
I will be having my implants removed under local, which is honestly what I am so scared and nervous about. I get quote faint at the sight of blood. My best friend is going with me so that will be nice. Im just praying I don't chicken out. I feel that by putting this on real self that it will help me follow through.
Finally adding pics
So I took the time this AM to take some pics to post.
Just left the Dr office
Well I set the date and paid so there is no turning back now.
The dr explained everything and said that mine will be very quick and easy to remove. My implants were put in under the arm and he said he could remove them that way but it won't be as easy. So we're going to go under the breast. I might change my mind between now and the day I get them removed. I'll think about it. Anyone have them removed from under the arm?
They gave me 4 Valium. I'll take one an hour before the procedure and bring the rest with me so they can administer it if needed. My implants are smooth and my capsule is tissue paper thin and extremely soft so he isn't taking it out. My body will naturally take care of that. I will really only need Tylenol for pain if needed and I will be able to return to work the following day as long as I take it easy. I can return to working out 3-4 days later. He said most of my shape will return but in 4-5 months we should know for sure the extent of how much I will fluff out. At that time if I need something else we will discuss it then.
So my date is set for March 3, 2015. 1:30pm.
Under the Arm? Under the Breast?
So I have a question....
Has anyone had their implants removed from under the arm? I really need some advice? I know under the breast will be easier. I get that. But I really want to hear some experience/advice. I would appreciate it.
My first real hesitation
So last night I had my first real hesitation with my explant. Not really a hesitation, more like a desire to procrastinate. My best friend took me and our other friends our for my birthday dinner. During dinner we got to talking about our FAV band and the fact that they would be playing soon. My best friend (male) and I love to dance and we dance so friggin well together. Its so much fun. Anyway our band is playing on March 14th at our bar so its double the pleasure. Problem is, ITS A BEACH PARTY THEME! Your supposed to wear a bathing suit. But I really, really will be self conscious since its only 1 week after explant. I HATE to miss this party, but I don't think I will look ok in a suit at that point. I probably won't feel up to going anyway. Im feeling very down about this and starting to question my decision. Which I knew would do, that is why I paid up front. Im so worried about how Im going to look after this is all done. I don't want to regret it. I don't want to feel so self conscious that I won't want another person to look at me. It sucks being single already, now Im starting to feel like I will remain in this single state forever.
1 week to go!
So I have exactly 1 week to my explant day. I think its finally setting in that its happening. I actually had my first dream two nights ago where in it my breast had had the implants out. It wasn't centered around them being out. I just noticed it after I had woke. They didn't look perfect but they were mine.
Im still on the emotional roller coaster. I don't think that is going to stop until its finally over, fluffing and all. I went sports bra shopping over the weekend and bought XS. That was WEIRD. Especially trying them on to make sure I liked the style. lol I have also decided on having the implants removed through my original incision site, under my arm. I really don't want another scar. So I hope I don't regret that decision, but I really don't think I will. I am just worried that I will take longer to heal. I HATE the fact that I won't be able to work out like I have been. That thought depresses me, that and being seen naked. *shudder*
7.5 hours and counting
3 Mar 2015
Day of treatment
So I'm laying here in bed and I cannot sleep of course. I'm just ready to have this done! I am slightly nervous but I'm ready. The only concern I have is what im going to look like in a few months and also not being able to keep up with my bodybuilding workout. I hate that. Also, IM STARVING! I eat a high protein diet and about 6-7 small meals a day. My body is rebelling against not having anything in it. Lol
I packed my bag with my new sports bra and an extra change of clothes. Valium is already as well. Now I just have to get through a partial day of work till its time to leave. I will post pics and updates later on. I really hope my results are like the other awesome ones I have seen on real self. I want this to be a success and not end up being self conscious about my body. Please pray all goes smoothly, quickly and the Drs hands are guided.
Well it's done.
3 Mar 2015
Day of treatment
I ended up having to go under the breast because otherwise id have to reschedule and then be put under. I was not putting it off.
It was soooo easy and really quick. They took me
To a room with two huge lights and a bed that looked like a cross. They went over my info and then called the dr. He came in and they strapped my arms down to the cross sections. He marked under my breast and then shot me with Novocain in several different locations. They let it sit for about 10 mins. Then surrounded me with blue blankets just in case the saline leaked. I opted not to be covered. After I was numb he started on my right breast, he made the incision and then use what looked like scissors to I guess cut through the muscle. Then I guess he punctured because ice felt the fluid start to drain out down my sides into a pan he held there. The nurse helper pushed on my breast to help the fluid drained out. After it all drained he reached inside and pulled out the implant. I actually saw it when he put it inside of the pan that he used to catch the fluid. Then he sutured me up, I think I have three stitches. He said they would not need to be removed as they would dissolve on their own. They then moved to the left side and did the same exact thing. They could tell the right breast implant was actually larger than the left side. After they were both done they put a strip of guaze on the cut sites. They set me up and gave me what looked like two pads to put into my new sports bra. It took all of and hour and a half. I took a peak as I got dressed. Kinda disheartening at this time. But I'm keeping my chin up. No pain so far. Just loopy from the two Valium. So now I'm home and taking it easy. I hope you other girls have had a good experience.
Day 1: Highly Emotional (sorry for the long post)
OK. So I KNEW that it wasn't going to be pretty after, but I can honestly say nothing can prepare you for the shock. The emotional roller coaster just got more intense. Once the Dr was done and I looked down I could se a flat chest. I figured that was going to happen and I didn't let myself freak out. They helped me sit up and took me to a room to dress. I took a pic IMMEDIATELY after so that I could see for myself the extent of the damage and post it. I was SHOCKED. I mean I knew form others pics on this site that they would look deflated and wrinkly after, but I was still shocked. I didn't let myself look at the pic more than a second. My best friend of five years/maybe soon to be boyfriend was waiting in the lobby and very worried about me and I so very badly needed to be in his arms for comfort and reassurance. So I dug out my XS sports bra and put it on so I could get to him. The nurse gave me these pads to put in the bra just in case more saline leaked from the incisions. Which that did happen. I was still very loopy from the 2 Valium. We stopped for food at some point and I think I must have slept till we stopped to eat. I then slept again till we got to the market to get food for dinner. My BF was great. We picked up my son and took him to my BF house and he took care of us. The sports bra was too tight Im pretty sure cause I was really hurting. I was worried and I think my BF could tell. He took my hand and took me to the room. He asked if I minded if he saw. Reassured me that it didn't matter what I looked like because what made me beautiful wasn't my breast. He told me I was a very natural type of person and me having the fake boobs just didn't fit. He also told me that right now they weren't going to look good and he knew that but to give myself time. So he helped me take off the bra and looked. We kinda joked about them and he said that my bra was too tight and helped me put on one that wasn't so tight. He told me that this was the right decision and not to let it get me down, he was going to be here every step of the way, through thick and thin. He also wanted to see them before, right after, and the whole way till they were all fluffed up.
OK so today I am at work just as the Dr told me I could be. I am VERY emotional and it took me a few hours to work up the nerve to take my coat off. I wore a loose fitting shirt and a sports bra that had some shape to it so I didn't feel so odd and flat. Where I work we are SERIOUSLY like family. In fact my best friend/boyfriend is my boss. So there is no way people here won't notice or comment. Its just how we are. But I do know they all care deeply for me and wouldn't be mean. So now my coat is off and once in awhile I cry. I have mild pain but only from the incision site. I think the DR cut closer to my sides than right beneath the center of my breast. I know I have stitches and they are the dissolving kind so I won't have to have them removed. TG! I hate that feeling.
So now its a waiting game. How long till I fluff? Cause Im flat as a pancake and wrinkly. AAHHHHHH!!!!! Im scared.
Day 2: Scared
So today I am very scared. My pain is very manageable with tylenol and my scars do not look bad. I changed the bandages last night and took pictures for everyone to see. As you can see I don't have the same results as other people on here so I am frightened. Today as I walk around work I feel something that might be liquid in my left side. So Im guessing its residual and my body will absorb it in time. My feeling of sexual femininity is at an all time low which I knew was possible going into this. I am a small woman but I was really hoping that I would have more breast tissue and would have something to hope for after the surgery. Its odd too because I was a full B - a small C before my BA. I know that working out probably doesn't help with having an abundance of breast tissue. I am going to start taking some supplements to help with increasing breast size naturally, so any advice would be welcomed. I can tell a little bit of difference today, I THINK. lol. I will be checking when I get home and taking day 2 pics. At this point I am NEVER being naked in front of anyone! I don't even want to post my pics on here, but honestly the posts that all the women before me posted is what helped me be prepared and secure in what I have done. Im trying to keep my chin up and hoping that with time , a good diet, exercise, and supplements I will be able to have some nice small boobs.
Day 2: Photos
Here are Day 2 photos. Slight changes so far.
Day 3-5: Learning to adjust and accept
Well you probably won't believe this when I tell you, but I went skiing on Saturday. ALL DAY. 4 days after explant surgery. I really feel amazing. I weighed myself at the gym on Friday night during my work out, I have lost 3-4 lbs after my explant! Isn't that CRAZY?!?! No wonder I had so much friggin pain. LOL. All the shooting pains in my breast have stopped and I know now that I was correct in thinking the implants were resting/rubbing on nerves. The Dr was pretty sure that my pain would still be present, so glad to tell him tonight that its gone. Also the pain in my back has lessened so much. A huge weight has been lifted off me and seeing it on the scale just confirmed what I had felt was causing me so much pain.
My incisions look AMAZING! You won't believe how they look. I will take pics tonight of the progress. My breast still don't look amazing, lol, but Im learning to adjust. Im not looking forward to the beach party this weekend. Mixed emotions there. Its hard to swallow pride. Ive been keeping the incisions moist with a mix of Neosporin, coconut oil, and straight vitamin E oil. Not sure if I just heal fast or if the mix is what is doing it, but they healed soooo fast. I wasn't even worried to go skiing. I've also started doing an excursive that my Aunt swears by. Her breast are amazing and she is now in her upper 60's. I use to laugh at her and think it was silly, but this weekend my mind went to her and seeing her do the exercise. I did the motion and the very first time it lifted my breast/muscles! I could see that because my implants were under the muscle that the muscle needs a lot of work. Which is crazy cause I work out. But I always concentrated on NOT targeting my chest muscles because it would make my boobs jump and I HATED that. So I am now doing 100 of these exercises in the morning and then again in the evening. Basically I press the palms of my hands together in front of my chest and press them together as hard as I can and then repeat for 100 times. I really think it will help to target and pull the muscles back into place.
I will post todays pictures later on this evening. I hope you all are doing well and enjoyed your weekend like I did! Spring is starting to arrive here in PA and its beautiful reprieve after all the negative temps and snow we have had. Its a balmy 30degrees today and SUNNY!!!!!
Day 6: Dr appointment follow up
So I went my first follow up appointment and PA (Jean) walked in with another woman and told me this other woman would take my stitches out. I looked at her funny and said "I don't have stitches". She looked puzzled and said "you don't?". I told her I saw the Dr put them in but they were not in the incisions. I pulled the bandages off to show her and she was like "WOW they are GONE!" She couldn't believe how fast I had healed and how good I looked. She went and got some other people and then to talk to the DR. They asked what I had been putting on the incisions and doing for my breast. So I told them and they were very impressed. I was much further along than what they would have expected. I was in the office about 2 mins. As I walked out Jean went to ask the Dr how big my implants were but he could not tell since he did not put them in. He walked out and they started asking me about how I was feeling emotionally. I told them I was self conscious but I felt so AMAZING with the pain and weight gone that it totally made up for it. I said if I didn't have great results in 6 months I might come speak to him about using fat to fill them out, but I laughed and said "probably not though, I'm actually ok with me". They kept looking at me amazed and happy that I was doing so well. He told me to get out of his office cause he didn't need to see me anymore! lol
So now Im on my own, with you girls! I hope that as time goes by I really do fluff out like so many have before me. I just want to have nice small breasts.
Just because its a push up!!!! LOL
I can't actually wear it yet because it hurts my incisions, but I just needed to see something positive this morning. SMILING!!!
Day 13: Doing really good I think
So today is almost 2 weeks. I think I have done well. I am now wearing regular bras without any issue. My incisions sit just below a bra line and no longer hurt me. I am keeping them moist with a lotion I make of coconut oil, raw coco butter, raw shea butter, and vitamin E oil. I still do my exercises daily along with my normal gym routine. My nipples are still folding over at the bottom but I do notice my right one is unfolding at times so I think that eventually they won't have the fold. At least I am really hoping they don't. I don't let myself look in the mirror and analyze myself so much anymore. I really am trying not to worry so much.
I went to the beach party Sat night! It was Amazing!!!! Dan (my BF and amazing support through this whole thing) came to me last week and confronted me about being so down. I confessed I was having self confidence issues and especially with a beach party coming up. I was contemplating not going, but this isn't something that either of us wanted to miss. He and I dance. REALLY AMAZINGLY WELL. Its our thing. We just don't miss this. So a few days later he comes to me with a gift. It is a coconut bra the same size as I use to be. He trims and sands the edges to conform to my body and tells me to go buy a grass skirt. LOL so I did and it turned out it was one of the best nights we ever had. I danced ALL night. No pain, no worry. I was the only one in a bikini (type) other than one guy that was brave enough to wear a speedo. So I will have to post a pic of the outfit so you all can see it. I needed that night more than I knew. I didn't even have a problem changing at the end of the night into regular clothes and a small bra. Not one of our gang or people in the bar that knew us said anything or acted any different. I realized they didn't care about my boobs, so why should I care that much. All in all I feel so much better about all this. I may not be perfect, but I am me. Boobs don't make me a better person, better friend, better lover, better anything. I do that all on my own.
3 Weeks Post:
Hey Ladies! It's been awhile since I posted and I thought I would post and ask a question. It's been 3 weeks since I had my implants removed and everything seems to be going smoothly. My scars have smoothed out, but are still a light purplish color. They do itch a tiny bit occasionally, but no pain with them. I had made myself not obsess about my boobs, which Im sure you all know is not easy. So I just stay away from the mirror and keep extremely busy. I went skiing Sunday and then all day Monday. I am back to a normal workout routine and have had no problems. I am rubbing my breast with my homemade lotion and try to keep my scars moist. So all in all I can't complain.
So on another note: I started to experience breast pain/soreness three days ago. I honestly thought that I might be getting close to my period and that I was getting sore due to that. I haven't had much of that with implants, so I thought maybe it was part of returning to "normal" so I didn't think much of it. Then it started getting worse. Yesterday it was so bad! I couldn't even touch them without wincing. I checked my flow calendar and realized I wasn't anywhere close so this had to be something else. I started really feeling my breast to see exactly where the pain is and noticed it is mainly on the outside of my breasts. Its not the muscle at all. I massaged and there was not muscle pain in the slightest, even from working out. It is definitely the breast tissue. I told myself to give it a few days and that this might be normal. I figured I'd post on here and see if any of you have experienced this. This morning I was getting ready and noticed in the mirror that my breasts looked fuller, especially my right side. Also my right side isn't as sore as it had been also. The left is still painful though. So my question is this. Is this normal? is this part of the healing/fluffing process? I am hoping it keeps up if so. I don't want this to be temporary!
Here are some pics. The good colored ones are from yesterday. The badly colored ones are from this morning. I took them in the work bathroom so forgive the lighting. Yuck. Can you see any differences? Is it just me?
4 weeks post: Long Post so I am sorry!!! lol
Well it has been a month since my explant procedure and it's hard to believe its gone by so quickly. I have certainly adjusted to the new me. I may feel a bit self conscious some days, but quite honestly they are fleeting thoughts. Even though my breast are far from perfect, I feel much better overall, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I'm sure others have felt the same way and can understand what I mean. I have been liberated.
So I took pics. There isn't much change. I am fluffing up slowly and the upper parts (i believe) are starting to fill in a tiny bit. The folds under my nipples are receding and some days are barely there at all. Usually right after waking up they are present and that is when I take my photos. I went ahead and bought a VS bikini and it arrived yesterday. I HAD to try it on. It is a 32 A and Im kinda worried that I might need to go up to a B?!?! The left breast fits better than the right. seems my right is fluffing up quicker than my left. We will see in time I guess.
So my scars are doing really well, as you can see in the pic. I only where a sports bra to work out and a soft bralette to bed. Other than that I have been wearing normal bras for a few weeks. I am in a 34A lightly lined, no push up. The SO brand from Kohls. Seems these are the ones that fit me best at this point. When I need a sexy boost I have the same brand push up. lol. I have accepted and adjusted to my small breast quickly and happily. I don't feel the need to pad my bras and don't really care if people notice, look, or say anything. I have even gotten back to wearing my tighter shirts and let me tell you. THEY LOOK SO MUCH BETTER ON ME!!! Lol.
On the pain that I mentioned before... I now know that it is from body building. I have come to a few conclusions (along with my Dr.). My implants were under the muscle and because of this in the past when I lifted weights I purposely concentrated on NOT using my chest muscles because my implants would jump. So over the years those muscles have become underdeveloped while the rest of my body was developing. So after explant my breast had the extra skin and untoned muscle and that made for a pretty unsightly combo that hung down low. UGH. My Dr and I talked in depth before explant about my routine and he released me to go back to lifting 3-4 days later as long as I listened to my body. After 4 days I started lifting and really noticed that I had no chest strength, so I concentrated extra on those muscles. As time went on I could do more and more and then the pain and soreness set in. As you all know and read I was thinking it was due to ovulation and then when that passed maybe something was wrong. Well in the last week I have seen definite improvement in my chest muscles and breast. I can lift weights and there is hardly any jumping of the muscle. I believe that my good progress is due to me getting the muscles back to where they are meant to be, up high and tight. My Dr can't believe how fast I have recovered and how well I look. So even though I still have pain and soreness I can tell its the muscle that is sore and that it is moving higher onto my chest wall. To me that is a good sign because Im working to tighten a once very loose muscle. I can also see and feel the difference between the muscle and the breast tissue and I can actually feel the fluffing.
All in all I am happy with my progress so far. So I think I am going to not take pics or post for two weeks and then see the progress I have made.
Ladies, I hope you are all healthy and happy with your decisions to explant. If you are considering it then I can only give you my experience, Im sure there are others who are not happy with their results or decision, but this has been the best decision for me. No matter if I am only ever an A and have a fold in my nipples. Im FINALLY happy with my body and it only took 21 years to finally be ok with how I look. I don't even think that having the implants was a bad decision, because It taught me a much needed lesson and I can pass my experience onto someone who might have self confidence issues due to breast size. BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE, JUST AS YOU ARE. Every scar, stretch mark, and wrinkle tells a story and makes you unique and beautiful in your own way. And quite honestly your smile is the most beautiful part about you, especially when it reaches your eyes. SO SMILE and show everyone your true beauty!