Hello! I'm a petite girl considering BA. I spent...
Hello! I'm a petite girl considering BA. I spent all middle and high school waiting for my body to fill out. I was even hopeful going into college. After seven years of college, a Doctorate degree, and a husband, I know that if I want to change my body, I'm going to have to take active measures.
I want this for myself. Almost every time I look in the mirror after I shower, my thoughts go directly towards wishing I had larger breasts. I'm pretty sure I would be content with a BA, but I have the opportunity to change the part of my body I want most changed, so why not? I've worked very hard to be where I am in life today, don't I deserve this?
I will admit I'm very apprehensive to bring this up to family or friends. My husband is fully supportive, and I know he would be fine with any decision. I'm originally from a small-town type of area, and while others opinions wouldn't persuade me, I can't help but want to shield myself from judgment. I very much value my mothers' opinions on things, so I'm hesitant to tell her because I want her approval.
I decided to book a consult after lots of research on local surgeons and online reviews. As each day goes by, I want this more and more and less and less at the same time. I've been to Victorias secret many times in the past few weeks, and I get excited at the though every time I'm there. I haven't bought new bras in months, hoping I might go through with this. I get excited at the though that I could actually change my least favorite part of myself. And then I convince myself that maybe this isn't necessary. What if I end up too big or too small? What if after all the pain and time off of work, I look ridiculous? I have a nice shape now, I don't want to ruin that.
Anyone willing to give advice on decision making or share that "ah-ha" moment where they finally decided to pull-the-trigger, I'd love to here your story! I'm about 75% sure right now that I want to do this, just want to go into this 100% when I'm ready.
I originally had a consult scheduled two weeks ago, but had to reschedule. I'm getting some nerves now. I still go back and forth, getting a little cold feet already! I still haven't told anyone besides my husband yet, and I think he's getting sick of me talking about it EVErYday! He's very supportive though and keeps telling me I should just do it because he knows how much I've been talking about it for the past year or so.
Any advice for my first consultation ?! I've read so many stories here that I think I'm prepared!
I've posted some wish pics too!
Feeling like a roller coaster
So I had my consult yesterday and I think it went well! The staff seemed rushed, but the office staff were very friendly, and Dr Smith was great! He offered great information and didn't try to up sell or sugar coat anything. I felt a little rushed trying on sizers, but I think I want 300 or so. Dr smith said my left breast was smaller and I would need an additional 25 mL on that side. I would consider going up to 350 even.
I decided it was time to open up to more friends and family about this since I felt I was in a good place after my consult. I told two of my best friends and they said they would support my decision, but also said they want me to be smart about it. After days and days of being nervous about telling my mom, I finally did. She was more worried than I thought. Breast cancer runs in her side of the family pretty strong, and she thinks I should keep my body the way "god gave me." She also thinks I'm going to come home looking like Dolly Parton. She's always been very proud of me, so this is discouraging. I don't want her to feel ashamed of me if I make this decision. My husband has been great the whole time and listens to me with attentiveness. I don't want to hurt my mom by doing this, but I know it's my decision. Leaves me feeling a little deflated :/
Pulling the trigger!
So I've still been up and down about booking the surgery, mainly because I felt 'down' after telling my mom about possibly having the surgery. We haven't really discussed it after too much, but she did ask if I booked a day yet and didn't say anything after (except she thinks I should spend my money on vaneers lol). So I'm pretty sure shes come to terms with it, which is good because I would hate to do something she is totally against.
This weekend I went to a couple different pools in my town of Vegas, and I hated having boob envy of almost every girl there! There are a lot of fake ones out here, but they all look great!! It really turned the tables again in my decision making. I WANT to love my body a bikini, and I DON"T want to spend my weekend wishing I looked like everyone else. So I think i'm finally going to STOP thinking about and just DO IT!!! It's just a big step since I have to put $1000 down...no backing out with that kind of cash on the line!!!
I hope I wake up tomorrow with the same courage :)
Instead of booking a surgery date, I got cold feet and made oatmeal sizes instead, I started with 1.5 cups of oatmeal and thought it looked way too big (bigger than the dozers I rmeber at my surgeons office). Before I was thinking 325, but idk now. Does anyone that's had surgery think homemade sizes looked bigger than your results ?
Just scheduled my date!
After going back and forth for weeks, I finally booked my date! And although I'm glad I finally decided, I still feel tons of mixed feelings. I'm still worried of people judging me based on the fact that I'm having this procedure. My husband is very supportive of me, but I haven't felt much support from anyone else. I told my mom and she didn't think I should get it done, and my two best friends said I was fine the way I was but would be there for me if I did. I'm doing this because I finally can fix something about me that makes me feel inadequate. I love fashion but feel restricted from wearing certain clothes that I can't fill out on top. I also don't want to feel handcuffed to my push up bras to feel like I look good in clothes. I was also doubting whether I should put my body through this surgery. But when I try on my homemade rice dozers at home and put on clothes, I feel awesome, amazing. This doesn't have to be permanent if I don't like them, but I know that's a lot of money to spend to figure that out.
I think writing this out helps clarify my feelings. I'm hoping i will begin to feel more confident win my decision soon!
Finally feeling good
So I'm finally starting to feel excited about my upcoming procedure. My pre-op appointment is in about two and a half weeks, surgery is in 34 days. I still have a few moments of insecurity but overall I'm very relieved to have made a decision. I'm trying to wear my rice sizers around the house so I can get used to seeing myself that way. I'm hoping this will help me more when I have to make my final size choice. At my post-op i heard from others I won't see my surgeon. At my consultation we didn't talk about size or profile too much, but I see why he would spend more time the day of surgery discussing size, because it seems like a lot of people change their mind up until surgery day anyway. I'm pretty sure I won't stray too far from what I want now. I'm getting comfortable seeing myself with my 275 rice sizers, so I think I may go 300 or 325. I've considered 350 even, but I want to still stay reasonable and natural(as you can be with implants ). From reading other peoples experiences, it seems high profile is best for my small stature, although I so do love the natural drop shape. I would like to know if I would be able to have a moderate plus profile implant (even if it was smaller in cc). I can't believe I'm doing this! Finally excited, but still nervous!
Playing with sizers
I've been playing around with sizers and clothing options to become confident with a size decision. By the way, I made both oatmeal and rice sizers,!and I prefer playing with oatmeal :) it's not as scratchy and it smells nice!
Anyway, I'm becoming very comfortable with the 300 size. Thinking of leaning towards 325 now. My desired look is natural, and I would to meet new people and have them never have a thought that I had implants run through their mind... Unless I'm in a bikini maybe. Lol. I haven't met a lot of my husbands extended family, and I'm going to soon. I would like to remain overall petite.
I'm probably crazy, but my BA is scheduled for after work on Aug 26, around 4-5 pm . On sept 10, we are taking a red eye flight to New York City for 4 days for vacation and meeting more of husbands family. Basically two days sightseeing and two days just visiting/relaxing with family. Then the end of October, (will be about 2 months post op), we will be taking a Mediterranean cruise.
I hope I don't have too much planned that soon post op. I have a decently high pain tolerance and in pretty good shape. Anybody go in post op vacations that could give insight on how your recovery mixed with vacation ?
I had my pre-op appointment a few days ago. I went in and had to read and sign a lot of paperwork. I also had the chance to try on sizers again. I like the look of 300, but also tried on 325. I asked for my husbands opinion (he was with me), he said 325. The nurse also said i'd lose about 30 cc so if I liked the look of 300, going to 325 might better give me the '300 look.' I didn't see my PS at pre-op, but I know I can ask him questions the day of. At my consultation he said that my left breast was smaller, and he would probably put two different sizes in (25 cc apart) to help me achieve the best look. So I got to thinking, do I want to put 350 in the smaller side and 325 on the right, or 325 on the left and 300 on the right. I definitely don't want to go too big. I want them to be proportionate to my size, and I think 350 kind of makes me nervous that it will be a bigger look than I want. The best way I can describe the size I want is a victorias secret 32D bra. I bought one on clearance when trying to figure out sizes, and add my homemade sizers. VS tends to run smaller, but thats okay if I'm a smaller size in a different brand.
I'm not as nervous as I once was, partly due to the fact that I'm paid in full. I know that if I really wanted to cancel, the loss of the money wouldn't be the end of the world to me, but I don't really want to cancel, so here I go! :)
Prepping for my date!
My PS said to discontinue all things that could thin blood/increase bleeding risk 10 days before surgery, including seafood and herbal tea. Two of my favorite things are crab legs and Passion Tea from Starbucks. So of course I splurged on both today! Who knows when I'll get clearance to enjoy them again :) hopefully only a few weeks post op if everything goes well!
I go in for surgery TOMORROW !!! I feel ill-prepared. Surgery arrival time is 4 pm, and I'm working from 8am-230pm. I wish I would have just taken another day off, but its a little late now :) I think I'm going to be a little wound up at work and on the way, until I'm on the table! Its only been 10 days, but knowing I cant have any seafood or herbal teas has been a little torture in itself! I'm trying to enjoy my pre-op body and lack of soreness while I still can. I still dont know exactly what size or profile Im getting. I think I've spent too much time the last couple of months thinking about it, that I rather just let my surgeon choose. Hope I get some good sleep tonight, tomorrow is going to be a looooong day :)
Day 1 post-op, on the other side !
Yesterday was a long day for me! I went to work from 730-2, came home and washed my boobs with antibacterial soap one more time and got my sweats on. My husband drove me to the doctors surgery center, and we arrived right around 4, my expected arrival time. I was allowed to eat breakfast before 10, and have just little sips of water up to noon. Work was crazy so I got a little Gatorade and some fresh watermelon around 930. I usually don't get to eat lunch, but today I felt so hungry knowing I couldn't go home and eat!
Upon arrival I had to sign one more paper, and ended up waiting around 30 minutes to go back to my prep room. I had to pee in a cup one more time, and change into booties a hair net and a gown. Another half hour later a nurse came in and put in my IV. By the time my PS came in, it was almost 6 pm. Of course I didn't want them to rush anything, but it was a lot of waiting alone with my thoughts, lol. My mind was racing all over. My PS took some before pictures and asked about size. I decided to stick with 325, even though I was on the fence for awhile. At that point, I was no longer worried about 25 cc either way.
A few minutes later I was led into the OR where i met the anesthesiologist, who was very kind and friendly. He made me feel very safe in his hands. I didn't even feel when he hooked up the drugs , no burning or anything. I then remember trying to wake up, but without my glasses I'm pretty much blind and it's hard to know what's going on. I don't remember getting in the car or anything on the way home. I kind of remember getting up the bed. I remember asking for some meds from my husband and eating a cracker and water. I slept maybe an hour, and woke up feeling my chest muscles super tight. The Valium really helped more than the norco. My PS said I had to get up and walk about every 1-2 hours. I couldn't walk more than a few steps without feeling dizziness and nausea. It felt like I woke up every hour! Sleeping was also less painful while bring propped up by pillows. My chest felt a lot heavier when I was more horizontal.
This morning I felt very tight and sore ! I even still have some nausea. Eating some crackers and powerade, taking my meds religiously. The pain comes and goes. When it's bad, it's bad. Right now I'm okay, fighting to stay awake to finish this update!
I have a post op visit at 330 today, excited to see them without the bra! I already Love how they look! I go back and forth from looking big and just right to having a little boob greed, way too early for that !
Good night for now !
Post-op Day 2
Feeling a little better each day. I have more flexibility with arm movements , but have a lot of nerve pain in my left breast. Hoping this means I'm regaining feeling back. The worst part of the day is waking up after napping or sleeping, I wake up super sore and tight. I'm trying to wait more between meds, because zofran and hydrocodone both cause constipation and I haven't had a bowel movement yet. I have been taking docusate twice daily and started to take milk of magnesia. I haven't really eaten much so I think that's my biggest problem. I have senna as my next step if I haven't gone by this afternoon. Have a little decaf coffee this morning too.
I go back to work Monday, have Tuesday off and work Wednesday. As long as I continue to progress I should be okay. I'm trying to slowly stretch my arms to help out. My first pre-op appointment yesterday was super quick. I just went into a room, the nurse took off a few bandages and I got the first look at my new breasts! They looked a lot bigger than they so when I'm in bed looking down at them. I'm hoping they shrink a little bit. I would be okay if they didn't though. I didn't see any bruising so I'm excited about thy too. I can't wait to start feeling a little Better so I can try a few clothes on :)
Post-op day 3
Before I was hoping I didn't go too small, now I'm hoping I didn't go too big! It's too early to tell of course :)