These blogs helped me so much I wanted to write...
These blogs helped me so much I wanted to write down my experience.
I think I have always been very confident, but part of being confident is being well aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Mentally and physically. I work in the service industry in vegas and I have always been aware that I have a nice body but when it comes to my boobs I need to do all sorts of tricks to get them looking good. The corsets and outfits are flattering when I work at it, wearing three bras and stuffing but I notice it stings when people compliment you and they are complimenting all the things you are faking. (Eyelashes, boobs, clinched waist, hair extensions, nails, smile cause I've had braces. ) I just see that a little bit of effort goes a long way. "There are no ugly women. Just lazy ones. "
So after being scared of surgery, not sure if I want to spend the money, talking myself out of it, I'm finally fdoing it.
I asked around and found a doctor who is reputable. At the initial consultation he told me what I already knew. that my boobs are a little tuberous, sagging, and set wide apart and small. All of these things are hidden when I pull all my tricks to make them look better, but at the end of the day when I get naked I know the truth and I want them to be nice for real. Not just when I dress up.
He said he understood and knew what I wanted.
I pulled together the financing, my boyfriend cosigned for me. Then I booked the date. I went for my blood tests and had surgery in a few days.
This is where I was thrown a curve ball. I got my test back and it revealed I was anemic. My iron stores were very low. Too low to operate.
My surgery was cancelled.
They said I needed to see a blood specialist and that would accumulate more doctors fees and I was just not going to spend the time and money to have someone do what I can deduct on my own.
I rescheduled my surgery and started taking
After three weeks I took my new blood test Wednesday and got my results yesterday. I'm good to go!
My surgery is Tuesday and I'm scared to death. I'm scared of hospitals so I'm putting myself in my worst nightmare.
My doctor and I didn't decide on how many cc's. I just told him I don't want to be a D, and I like the full round "upper pole" and kinda want it like that all the time. I don't care about natural, I just want sexy. I am 5"3 115 lbs, my rib cage is very small and I am athletic, I want boobs that I don'thave to be buying a lot of specialty clothing for. (Who makes a 32D? No one sold offline)
Everyone knows and everyone is supportive.
a few photos
To give you an idea of what I'm working with. Ugh I have never really taken a hard look at them until recently. I do a really good job of not letting my boobs get me down. Its been a life time lesson in self acceptance.
I was an akward plain looking adolecent. I have come a long way. So I struggled with "why now" and "will this improve my quality of life or is it all in my head? " I thought about how much the 3 years I spent in braces improved my quality of life and I felt sure I was making the right decision.
I am so careful to not allow unflattering photos of myself online, so this is weird for me posting these photos. I am happy for the anonymity.
I decided to go with High Profile Saline Subpectoral. The incision is going to be through the nipple because he is going to perform a lift as well. So I will have a "doughnut" type scar.
I want the round and high look and I am not too concerned with looking "fake".
I didn't discuss any specific cc's with my doctor so I'm really just trusting him. I am trying to not get too caught up in cup sizes because I know a C in one brand can be a B in another brand. That stuff can make me crazy.
My boobs are very far apart and my nips point out towards the sides, not to the front. My doctor and several friends have warned me there is not much you can do about these things. After the implants your boobs will still be your boobs, only bigger. You can't do a lot about shape and distance apart. If anything the surgery could magnify these issues. He did say he would do what he could.
I'm having all the same freak out second thoughts that I see in almost every review on this site. My main freak out is, Should I have gone with silicone instead of saline??
My other freak out is wondering what to do in preparation for the week I'll be the most helpless. what foods do I want around, and I should probably clean before so that I'm not tempted to clean while I'm drugged up. I have no idea what to wear the day of surgery. A girlfriend said I'll be freezing when I wake up so wear some sweats and a hoodie. I guess I should have bags of frozen peas to use as ice packs. What else?
Also I am terrified to be left alone at all during the first few days. Is this rational? Should I make sure someone is home at least for the first 48 hours?
Any other advice for what to do to prep for surgery?
what everyone else says
So I have today and tomorrow off work so I'm trying to figure out how to spend theese last hours
Other than cleaning the house.
Probably midnight dollar bowling with some girls. No boys!
So annoyed with what boys have to say!
When it has come up, whoever I'm talking to (male) tries to be sweet and tells me how I look great and they have always thought I had very nice breasts. I remind them that they have never seen me naked and they are naive to think my bra isn't decieving.
I have brought up, as a matter of argument and for conversion that women with nicer breasts make more money in our industry. Ohhh how tired I am of hearing men tell me that they don't give favorable bias to women with nice breasts or prettier women in general. Its not up for debate. I know because I've lived it. Stupid boys.
I am also tired of the boys who want before and after photos. I just tell them eww, there is a reason I'm getting them surgically fixed.
I have been reading this site obsessively fora while but it's been magnified the last few days! I talk to my boyfriend about it as we are about to go to sleep. I pulled pictures of the areola incisions. I was all happy to find an example of what mine would be like. I tried to show him and then re thought it. "Am I grossing you out? Do you not want to think of boobies this way? " he surrendered and said he would look and talk if that was what would help me but for the most part "boobies are supposed to be happy thoughts for me, but you keep showing me boobie purgatory." I couldn't stop laughing! I just wanted to hug him so hard after that cute comment!
I do like the reaction I have gotten from my nearest and dearest. Some of my closest friends are more excited than I am! My co-workers are all so supportive. I work at a stand up comedy theater so lots of good jokes to let me not take things too seriously.
I told my grandmother over text message. (She raised me. She is "mom") she hates that I'm doing it but she accepts it. She had hers done but always tries to justify it saying "I HAD to do it. I had a legal deformity!" But I have it too So shhhhh! And she always makes these "my boobs saved my life my cushioning my fall" jokes. I guess she freaks out cause she died on the operating table while getting a nose job in the 60s. She dated a plastic surgeon in her youth.
I feel like my boyfriend has been nuzzling up to my boobs when we lay watching tv or have our before bed talks. He never used to do that. I feel like he's taking mental before and afters.
Its weird but the only person I'm nervous about the reaction, is my dad. He didn't raise me but we keep in touch like we are old friends or something. He's still my daddy though and when it comes to him I feel perpetually 7 years old. He's the only one I feel nervous about.
Sorry if this was long and boring! I just have so much going on In my head!
the countdown begins!
Went to get a bra to try to visualize what I'm getting. It's still tough to imagine because I've never played with sizers. The difference between brands is driving me nuts.
I want to get it over with already. The suspense is the worst part I think. I thought I was scared of surgery, hospitals and recovery and I'm starting to think its just the suspense.
I may be alone on day 2 unless I start asking around for help. The boyfriend has work that night and wont be around. My sister was supposed to fly in but I haven't heard from her so I'm going to assume she's flaking. I think ill be ok though. I'll probably be sleeping.
It looks like the prescriptions all you girls get are all so different. I feel like I got some very strong prescriptions. I'm about to Google them. I don't know anything about pills. I see a lot of people get vicodin and Percocet. I got hydrocodone and methocarbamol. It seems the prescriptions are really different doctor to doctor. Accurate?
I was sick last week, now I'm a lot better but I still have some phlem. (Gross sorry) do you think this will be a big deal tomorrow? If you are really sick I know surgery will be cancelled, but a little phlem? I get sick when I'm stressed. :(
They called to confirm tomorrow. I asked about nyquill and she said once or twice shouldn't be a problem. Hmmmm she was quick to not ask how much I had but I took it all week. A bottle in 5 days.... and I asked about the phlem she said as long as there is no nasel drip. Well there isn't bad drip but enough to blow out sometimes. ... I'm over thinking all this but that could be a safety concern right? Ugh. Wish I could have a cocktail lol
trying to go through the motions
24 Sep 2013
Day of treatment
So I am about to leave the house. I'm trying to just forge ahead without thinking too much. I really am scared but not of anything specific. I trust the doctor and I know I'm strong and healthy and not a babyWhen it comes to pain. But I am a baby about blogblood and needles, hospitals...I can't watch stuff like nip/tuck. I think the idea of what is about to happen while I'm asleep just seems crazy.
I couldn't sleep more that 4.5 hours last night. I'm just happy I'm not waiting around anymore. Its the suspense that is the worst!
So here I go! We're on our way out!
full update later.
24 Sep 2013
Day of treatment
Things went well. Still no idea how many cc's. I can't see them cause I really can't move. So I had the bf take photos and show me. "I already know they are exactly what you described! " I saw the pics and asked if they were small? "They look huge" he said. I loved the reassurance.
I'm icing now. In some pain. The care from the bf is so comforting. He always know just what to say and do.
Was so nervous. Hit traffic went to the wrong hospital, was 35 minutes late. Ended up fine, my PS was in another procedure.
Like I said I am afraid of hospitals. I clung to the BF like a five year old but he was great assuring me everything I always wanted was about to happen.
Went to the back to do the basics, change into the hospital gown. They make you wear stockings and calf covers (to prevent blood clots). In true vegas fashion my surgeon says "great! You got your thigh highs and go go boots on! " (in Vegas your work uniform is thigh highs and go go boots pretty much everywhere, so it was a great joke :)
Everyone kept talking about how nervous I looked so they asked my boyfriend to come back. I was sooooo emotional! I kept crying! The BF being such a BOY pulls up Mel Gibson's brave heart speech to inspire me. It was sweet and funny. Once he got me laughing he just kept raising my spirits until the real stuff started. .
They marked me up (PS said he'd send me pics) then they explained the anesthesia. Then they started my "top shelf margarita" of drugs. It hits you instantly. I remember saying "whoa!" And then it was lights out and groggily coming to.
The guy who was assigned to wait with me Was the worst. He was soooo loud and calling out inside jokes to co workers. It was like waking up from a hang over and everyone around you is sitting in your room talking around loudly! And I asked for the BF and he was just so nonchalant dismissing me and telling me I'd have to wait. He was rude about it but the BF came back soon.
I was so nauseous. So again in the IV they gave me anti-nausea medicine and it worked instantly.
I took a muscle relaxer right away because my muscles felt tight. Again I didn't like the nurses bed side manner. I asked for a pain killer and she said "well you are on pain killers now and they aren't supposed to remove the pain, just reduce it." Yea right, I took the pain killer. Felt way better.
The ride home bumps were rough. I think I slept most of it though.
We started getting fluid in me, I was so dehydrated. Then some oatmeal. Then by the end of the night I was able to have grilled cheese with tomato soup.
My PS said not to extend my arms in any way. So moving I needed to wrap my hands over my belly. Not even let them hang straight at my sides at all. I tried and it hurt so I obeyed well.
The BF had to help me pee. That was embarrassing and I didn't expect someone to help me go to the bathroom! He acted like it wasn't a big deal.
One of my girlfriends came over. She said she couldn't believe how awake I was. Me neither! But as I got to my 3rd round of meds I was out cold.
I hate stairs. I was so dizzy I kept feeling like I would fall, it took forever to go up and down.
Ice feels soooo good. If there was lingering pain it would go away with the ice pack.
Let people do stuff for you! Everytime I would do anything even clench my fists (even texting tightens your muscles and you feel sore) I would start hurting and is have to remind myself to relax my arm muscles and by doing that my chest would release.
I kept getting cold and shivering, that hurts your chest like crazy!
I guess I'm officially on day 2 and so far the pain is not pain it is just sore. Pretty much when I got settled in at home it became manageable. I
I was not given a strap like a lot of you talk about. Is this because I got the high profiles so maybe it is to not encourage them to drop too much?
So I have 360 ccs in both
And no strap because when you get a lift he doesn't want to put added pressure on the wound.
I had to peek
I just had to look. Using my muscles to un do the bra really hurt and this photo is terrible but ..... here they are, first peek!
sneak peak #2
I'm in pretty much no pain. Just feels like everyone overreacting to you being sore from a chest day at the gym. The boyfriend reminds me that doesn't mean I can do things. My body is in pain even if my mind doesn't know it. So I'm still pretty spoiled with him being "a hospitality professional" as he calls it. He has Today, day 3, off.
I feel rested and pain free and bored :( I haven't left the house and I can't wait to be cleared for a shower. Tomorrow is my first post op appointment.
You girls weren't kidding about the back pain from laying at a 45 degree angle all thetime The trick is putting a little pillow at the small of your back. Helps instantly remove pressure and feels really good.
I had visitors yesterday. The we were all sitting around talking and we were all bring hilarious joking around. ...I could not laugh with out hurting myself. Everyone was having these large bellyaching laughs and I had to hold them back as best I could. Thats the only part of social interaction that's been tough.
I'm eating just fine, normal appetite. I'm going to resume taking my iron suppliments and they said I could take a laxative too. Iron makes you bloated and constipated too so I feel like I've been such a fatty the last month!
So I woke up this morning and tried to get a selfie. I had a hard time getting the camera straight. I love them in the mirror but they look giant in this photo! Talk about swollen!
the rest of the peaking pix
A little farther away gives you a better idea
annoying spelling errors!
Peek not peak! It's annoying not being able to edit posts!
I was going crazy yesterday. I felt like I could do stuff like open the fridge and pour myself water... but I over did it. I got some definite soreness and pressure that was only where I was using the muscle.
I changed my gauze and used rubbing alcohol to get my surgery marks off. I didn't like still having that on. Then I took a bath in about 3 inches of water. I kept the incisions away from getting wet! My hair needs washing but just getting the important spots made me feel way better!
We went to watch football. I hate football so that's how you can tell I was cooped up! I was stoked to hang in the sports book!
Then the BF took me to dinner. It's been 80 degrees every day but of course as soon as I have surgery the temperature drops! Walking back to the car I started shivering and my torso was contracting. I got in the car and I felt the first sharp pain yet. In my right boob. Tears welled up and I couldn't wait to get home. I also noticed it was right about time for my meds anyway so they were probably wearing of. Lesson is stay warm! Being cold hurts!
I iced for the rest of the night.
I peeked at the nips and they bled while I was out. How long do they bleed?
My post op is tomorrow. My roommate bff is taking me since BF is working.
I'm trying to go to a concert/Food festival Saturday. I think as long as I don't drink and as long as I'm not moshing and crowd surfing I'll be fine.
I had BF take photos...but he really is a terrible photographer. I'll post some tomorrow.
I also realize my boobs used to be pretty much numb and now they are regaining feeling. My nipples I don't know. They seem sensitive in the bra but when I touch them directly there is no feeling.
Deleting them out of my phone. They may help someone else though.
I told my doctor I understand Photoshop and all that so just tell me if I'm being unrealistic.
Also my #1 concern was fixing the asymmetry, the gap, the tuberous breast. Size was my #2 concern.
My PS said the blond is getting a lot of help from her bra but with the pix he gets an idea of what I find attractive.
Hope someone finds this helpful!
they didn't all post
Bad internet connection today
1st post op appointment
It was quick, my PS wasn't there, but it was just a look and she gave me prescription refills just in case.
She recommended prune juice for the constipation. I can't stand it, my belly is so big. I use an herbal laxitive tea when I do cleanses so I will use that. (The tea is called smooth move. Sometimes it causes bad cramps though. )
I got to take a shower and wash my hair! Yay! Girls that first shower is so significant! Think of all the showers you've taken and looked down and saw belly feet floor. Now it's big beautiful boobs and that's all I can see. Such a great moment.
Finally found a bra to wear instead of my surgical bra. It is so much better for my self esteem. I feel even sexier getting out of the surgical bra.
My left boobie is dropping slower than my right. I can tell now that swelling is starting to go down.
Overall they are looking so good. I feel so lucky to have been referred to a surgeon who seemed to so effortlessly improve me.
out and about
Concert was great, may have been too much dancing toward the end.
My boobs are really itchy. Anyone else havethis problem?
Ok the girls are dropping and the swelling is going down and I'm understanding boob greed. Its so easy to second guess your size. I'm reminding myself I wanted to remain petite. I can always push them up and there is no shortage of padded C cup bras. I wanted a versatile cup size.
I'm still in no pain, still taking my muscle relaxers every 6 hours and half a pain killer every 2 hours. I can lift my arms over my head without cringing now but I was told not to so I don't unless necessary. (Favorite song at the concert.... ooops)
Starting to get the "shooting pains" but they aren't bad. They just feel cold like someone touched the inside of my skin with cold metal.
More and more girlfriends are expressing interest in their own boobie goals. I think having a close friend do it paves the way. Makes it seem easier and attainable. That's what happened to me. One of my bffs with similar boobs did hers and I felt like "why shouldn't I just admit That I want this."
So I'm not so fragile anymore, but when I was, the bf was careful to not get anywhere close to the boobies. He didn't even want to cuddle for fear of hurting me. Now I'm trying to "introduce" him to the girls. I will put his hands directly on them just to get him comfortable and let him know he's not hurting me. Success! This morning as he was leaving he gave me a goodbye kiss then gave each of my girls a little peck. No matter how much this surgery is for me and my own reasons, sex is something I was hoping to enjoy more and I can't wait to be healed enough to test that theory out!
I can't wait to start massaging!
I am still doing a lot of boobie reading. I keep trying to think of anything I would do differently and so far nothing comes to mind! I'm happy with how everything has gone so far and I hope I'm not speaking too soon!
I still have no idea what morning boob is.
My pains are still not painful.
I can kinda sleep on my side.
I feel like a kid running to the bathroom mirror every morning to see if they dropped more.
I can't wait to drive! Tomorrow!
2nd post op appt tomorrow!
They are still sooo high. When you guys refer to "drop and fluff" do they actually expand a bit or does fluff mean soften?
I thought there was no way this would fit after surgery, I was wrong! Sexy!
post op appointment #2
The nurse removed my tape to replace it with fresh... wow that is *not* pretty. I didn't have time to snap a pic so we'll wait on that.
I hate to say it but they are so gross it's a little bit of a buzz kill! I don't want the BF to see the Boobie purgatory until they are a little more healed.
She showed me my massages. Gonna get on that pronto.
Here is another before/after photo. I am taking this bra back cause it's too small.
Is it normal for me to be worried about my final results? ? ? I Keep worrying my nipples will be deformed or that my nipples are two low on my breast.
I started massaging yesterday. I did some research on it and it makes me uncomfortable that there are so many different conflicting opinions about it.
When I started my first massage I took that chance to get the bf involved. He was really looking forward to it. After seeing that I was still really sore he got uncomfortable with it again. So I'll be massaging my myself till he feels I'm less fragile lol
This morning I woke up with some specks of blood in my bra. I'm scared I'm moving them around too much and I'm going to put too much pressure on my incisions and mess them up! I hadn't bled at all and now I'm bleeding again? Is that normal for nipple incisions?
upper pole fullness
Knew I wanted a round upper pole. Here is a little diagram I found describing different levels of fullness. I hear people asking about what profile they should get. Maybe this will help you identify what looks attractive to you.
The nurse gave me extra tape just in case I wanted to make it fresh. So I think my massaging last night causes my left incision to re open and bleed. That scares me that it will leave worse scars if I'm not careful. (I called about this today.... she didn't call me back :()
So I cleaned it and re-taped it. Took a pic of the incision for you girls to see. Keep in mind I had to have this incision because I also had a lift.
Girls with nipple incisions
My nipples have been completely numb since surgery. Is this normal? has anyone else with nipple incisions had numb nipples?
I tried on a sports bra that I love and it still fits! And it feels pretty good.
I feel sexy but still feel fat and bloated. It's a double edged sword.
I started my monthly today :( I was being super moody and the boobs have felt super sensitive. All the skin around them and every thing. The white bralette in previous photos was *super* tight. That could be the dropping and fluffing though. I blame all this on my period anyway. It was smooth sailing till this came along.
I was going to wait till they dropped more but....I am bored out of my mind at home. Time to try on bikini tops! Can't wait to get back in the gym and get this tummy under control!
I've had this for about 8 years and never wore it
Lots of picture updates today guys :)
going out tonight!
First girls night out and I'm a little nervous. No bra cause I don't have one that can go under this. It will be short though...wish me luck. Hitting the downtown bar scene with the girls :)
getting back to normal
So the other night didn't go as planned and everyone bailed. I ran into an old co worker and we talked all night. I was just happy to get out of the house.
I have been lightly massaging and they are getting so soft! I am liking being able to touch them more and more.
My incisions are still a little oozy but nothing that looks infected. I wish they would heal faster, they make me nervous.
No pain at all and I'm sleeping on my side a lot. I can do everything normally but I'm still trying to limit activity.
I go braless for a couple hours a day just to let them out. I don't know if this is damaging or not.
I'm still really happy. Can't wait to buy a new corset for work!
Trying on all my old clothes and I notice I feel *very attractive. I am petite, but always felt like I had a pouch or rolls. Trying on those same outfits, my boobs make those "rolls" almost disappear.
If I had done this sooner maybe I wouldn't hand battled eating disorders the way I did. I always felt like my stomach pooch stuck out past my stomach. I was always trying to combat that. I look in the mirror now and I don't even care as much about my stomach. I look good and when I'm back in the gym ill feel good too!
I've had pain with my left incision. It's a stinging and burning type pain. I called today and told her it was still oozing and bleeding. She said sometimes moisture will get caught under the tape and cause it to seem oozy and I assume keep the wound open and healing slowly.
She recommended I take my tape off and they would dry. I don't think it looks infected.
I also was massaging today and found a lump on my right breast. I never felt lumps before. This is about the size of a dime and does not feel like the implant. I am thinking scar tissue?
lefty not doing well
I haven't had much to talk about. My recovery had been simple. No pain. No problems. I was supposed to go back to work next week. Thing is my left nipple incision is still bleeding. A lot. So I went for my 3rd post op and my PS said it doesn't look infected but he is prescribing antibiotics anyway. It looks to me like I split a seam. It doesn't look good and I think my scar is going to be gnarley because of it. It makes me sad to think one of my nipples won't look good. I'm trying not to think about it. I won't know anything till I heal.
The nurse said try to not cover them too much. She says I need to dry it out. So that means NO neosporin.
The good news is that it is not infected and it only causes minor discomfort.
My PS says they still have a ways to drop. And that because of this nipple problem my left boob is still more swollen than it should be.
I have mentioned I am a cocktail waitress. We need to buy our own corset for work. Mine was falling apart but I didn't want to buy a new one until after surgery. Well I did that yesterday. Here are some picture updates!
So I still love my boobies, even people who knew how confident I was before the surgery have said I'm even more confident if that's even possible.
But my left incision is still not doing well. The scar will be hideous, it still hurts and I'm not comfortable working till it stops opening and bleeding and oozing. Work has been supportive and they asked if I would like to act as a vip host for the theater in the mean time. Its not a bad gig to do while I heal.
Every one keeps asking how this happened and I have no idea. Did I do something wrong? ? ?
Lefty is finally sealing up. The antibiotics really helped. Still happy!
I notice I get a lot of compliments. But it's always on my dress or necklace or something that no doubt my boobs compliment. Except my friends. They just come out and say it. "Your boobs! Wow! "
Overall my figure is so much more proportionate. I used to feel so fat or pudgy.I'vegained some weight not being in the gym. But with the boobs, clothes smooth out right over the "pudge" I used to see. So happy!