Nervous About Tummy Tuck - Las Vegas, NV

I have been debating on a tummy tuck since 2009. At one point I was so ready and the Friday before the surgery I called the Surgeon's office and canceled. Luckily he refunded all the money but $500 for blood tests. Now two years later I am ready to do it. I went from 115 to 222 pounds after I had my second child. They are now 8. I had them 10 months apart. After that I had 3 miscarriages. I finally learned I would not be able to have more children. I am now at a steady 145 pounds and 5ft-2in short. I had a personal trainer tell me he didnt want to take my money because no matter how hard I tried, that excess skin will always be there. I have such great fear of being put under anesthesia. Death always comes to my mind. I think of my 2 girls and how they would suffer without me. But I am at the point where I also get frustrated when it comes time for a special event. I hate how my clothes fit me or actually the clothes I want to wear don't fit me. Even my girls tell me I could wear a bathing suit only if I fix my stomach. One even said my belly reminds her of a peanut. Both the shape and texture from all the stretch marks. I am scheduled to have the surgery done September 12. I met with 6 doctors. I have read many of the stories here in order to give me motivation but something in the back of my head still tells me not to. I want to do it for myself. My husband and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary next year and are going on a cruise. There is no way I can wear a swimsuit looking like this. I have posted some pictures so I can get some feedback. Also, I noticed all surgeons advised me to get lipo on my flanks. Is that really necessary? Does it make a big difference? Has anyone declined lipo and was unhappy with the results? Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

19 more days until surgery date. I am getting really anxious and want to just get it over with. I want to see how I will look after the surgery. Monday is my pre op.

Less than a week for the big day. I am more nervous as the days go by. But I think about how good I will (hopefully) look and feel better.