39, Two Kids, and I Want my Body Back! - Orange County, CA

I am 5'5" and currently 141lbs. I have always been very muscular and I put on weight easily. I gained 80lbs with both of my kids without much of a change in habits. I lost the weight from each pregnancy within a year. I love my babies more than anything, but gaining and losing substantial amounts of weight in short periods of time has a tendency to stretch you out a bit. I have always had droopers, even when I was young and I have considered having a breast lift since my teens. Two kids and massive breast feeding later has made my droopers extra saggy. When I visited several plastic surgeons just to see what they could do for me, I decided to do abdominoplasty and liposuction as well. I will be having a breast lift, abdominoplasty, and lipo to the flanks, inner and outer thighs, upper arms, and knees. I have scheduled two weeks away from work for recovery during which time I will have help with my three year old and 7 year old sons. I am very scared about the scarring. Surgery still seems like an extreme option for fat and droopy. After looking at the post-op pictures of women on this and other sites I am pretty hesitant. I am totally doing it, though. I want to like myself in clothes again. I want to have a waist and feel like a woman again instead of just a Mom. depending on how this goes and the results I get, I might go back for implants and additional stomach lip in six months. I should be posting before pics in a few days, but I wanted to chart my journey a little bit and just put my fears and goals down on the page so I can get them out of my head.

Ok, so I am actually uploading naked photos of myself at my least appealing onto the internet. No name and no face, and i am completely sober doing this!

Ok, so I have gained 3 lbs since last month. I am also eating my weight in sugar on a daily basis. I have been told that i should be close to my goal weight when I have this surgery, so my natural reaction is to pig out for some reason. I have also not had the energy to get up and work out like I used to. I can't force myself to do it. Its crazy! It like there is a lazy teenager in charge of my eating and exercising habits. Don't know what its about, but I need to put a stop to it.
Also, I am a little afraid to exercise because I discovered at the PS that I have an umbilical hernia. They will fix it during the TT, but I am pretty hesitant about stressing it prior to that.