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I am 4 days pre-op and really looking forward to...

I am 4 days pre-op and really looking forward to this being done. All the BA-research and thoughts about pros and cons take up so much space in my head. The reason for me to do this is that I would love to be able to just throw on a non-patted bra and wear t-shirts without thinking my breasts look too small or getting a gap in between my bra and my slightly sagging breasts. I gained quite some weight when I was on the pill in high school and my breasts went up from small b to large d cup. I also got super emotional by the pill and so I stopped taking them and therefore also lost a lot of breast volume. Now I am 27 and have sagging breasts like I breastfed a child and would love to enjoy some fuller breasts before I actually am going to have three kids and be all mommy-like. I have been in a lot of doubt about this though. I wanted this three years ago as well and actually got so far as to take the painkiller drugs just before surgery. Then I saw an unconcious girl being driven into the operation-room where I sat, and I got so freaked out about what I was about to do to my body for vanity and insecurity that I just decided not to do it anyway. Now I have worked with my self-worth and really love myself and my body - so I know that it does not come from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem that I want bigger breast. Quite the opposite actually. I don't give a f... about other people judging me for getting fake boobs and I want to do this for my self and be able to just play around with clothes more and loose the tight, padded, underwire bras. So thats the background story. My boyfriend is the best in the world - he is just so supportive and have been listening to all my many thoughts on the issue. I found a doctor in Lithuania which is really experienced and half the price as in scandinavia where I am from. I wanted a VERY natural look and have always really liked the after pics with low profile implants. I have been advised - twice - to get 330-350 cc moderate profile. But that just looks WAY to big for me when I compare pictures and try seizers. So after long deliberation with my doctor I persuaded him to go with low profile (fits with my quite large breast width of 13 cm) with 270 cc. The doc also wanted me to get anatomical implants. But I have read about rotation and that there really isn't much of a difference btw round and anatomical when they are in. I also have enough breast tissue in the lower pole of breast to make up for the roundness of the implant. So anyway. That's enough for now. Hope you are on a good place in your breast-journey!

Day 4 post-op - feeling better!

So I am now on day four. And it has been kind of a roller coaster for me both pain wise and emotionally. I have regretted the whole thing and even though explant and I have felt intense joy when seeing them for the first time when I took a shower yesterday. Morally I have a hard time completely accepting this vanity-side of my self perpetuating an un-natural body-image culture. And at the same time I have to love and respect that side of my self as much as I do the other sides of my personality. Sorry about this pocket-philosophy stuff. These thoughts just take up a lot of space in my head and would like to share if anybody is thinking about these issues as well. Pain wise I have been surprised about sleeping so relatively comfortably in an up-right position and with minimal pain already night 2 and 3. I am not completely a back sleeper, but I always lie on my back for some parts of the night. So I guess the back-sleeping thing has been less tough for me than for all you belly-sleepers out there ;) I did not take any pain killers the entire day yesterday, but then I think I over did it as I twice ate at a restaurant with a really heavy door - and the second time around I opened it, it hurt quite a lot. I also went for a relatively long walk yesterday, day 3, for 20-30 min. in really slow motion! Looked like an old lady sneaking around the streets LOL. I think it all was a bit too much and I really had a lot of pain and tightness in my chest muscles, incisions and shoulders in the evening. So I took a strong pain killer and muscle relaxer and luckily slept like a baby after that. Just took my last antibiotic pill, so I'm happy with that. Also the bloating from the anesthesia has gone almost completely down. Some advise: - As everybody says; don't overdo it. Apparently it's harder than you think. So just do 20% less thank what you think is possible. - Have somebody around to help you getting up and getting clothed and showering. I am here in Lithuania alone, and I have to do all this even though I almost can't. If you are alone, use your feet and legs to pick up stuff. And go straight down in you knees in stead of bending forward if you have to pick something up. - Be ready to regret the whole thing. Write a letter to yourself the day before surgery explaining why this is a good idea and why you have to hang in there. Be kind to yourself when you knock yourself in the head for doing this to your own incredible body. It is sort of an investment that you will really enjoy once you have healed up completely - if you are doing this for your self and no one else, then write that down to read post-op. - Remember that it takes three days for your wounds to close up. That's not a long time that you have to be extra careful :) You muscle tissue is tough and good at regenerating. So don't worry about that. It WILL however take quite some time before you are back to normal - three months I hear (like jeez!). - when you sleep in an upright position place two pillows next to each other standing up against the wall with a little space in btw then and then a blanket folded over these to create some support for your lower back. That way you can place your head btw the two pillows so you don't strain you neck downwards all night. That's all for me now. Will post before/afters soon.

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