49 Years Old, Ruptured Silicone Implant - Kalispell, MT

I don't usually post things online, but I've found this site SO helpful that I feel like I need to pay it forward for those considering implant removal. My ex plant is scheduled for next week and I'm terrified! I've had implant since I was 18 (with 2 revisions) and breastfed 4 kids, and am so worried that I'm going to feel deformed! I dont care about having big breasts, in fact I prefer a more athletic look, but am worried at my age and after having implants all these years that my breasts are going to be a saggy, deflated disaster. A recent MRI confirmed a rupture in the right implant, so I have to get them removed, and I'm sure I don't want new implants, but am so stressed about the outcome!

Thanks for all the supportive comments! I feel so alone in this-I can't really talk to my friends and my husband is trying to be supportive but he doesn't really get it.

My surgery has been delayed until Friday, as my insurance company finally agreed to pay for the removal but I didn't get the preapproval in time for surgery tomorrow. I am really bad at waiting!!!

So thought I'd add a little more about my history. I got 220 cc silicone implants over the muscle at age 19, to correct tubular breasts. I'll never forget the PS saying to me "boy, you do need help!". Great bedside manner, huh? Anyway, the surgery did correct the problem and I was very happy with my result for many years. Around 2001 after breastfeeding my third child, I developed capsular contracture on one side (can't remember which one now), and after doing a lot of research, decided on a PS in San Francisco. I had several consultations beforehand, and all of them recommended a lift, but the PS in San Francisco told me that if I went a "little larger" that he thought I could avoid a lift. Mistakenly, I trusted him to use his own judgement on the size, and woke up from surgery with giant 450cc saline implants placed under the muscle!!! I was HUGE and it was awful, and finally in 2003 I found a surgeon locally who replaced the implants with 350cc silicone. Better, but ever since I have felt top heavy and out of proportion, and just plain matronly (I'm 5'7" and 135 lbs).
Last year I noticed some changes in my left breast, some burning and weird puckering in my nipple. I ignored it for a while, scheduled and cancelled mammograms several times, and then finally went and got a mammogram mid-February of this year. ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE. After the mammogram one side of my left breast appeared flattened, and the burning intensified. The mammogram came back "normal" but I knew something was wrong, and insisted on getting an MRI. Sure enough, the MRI showed a rupture. I believe that I had a rupture before the mammogram, but am convinced that the compression of the mammogram made the rupture worse, possibly even forcing silicone outside of the capsule (the MRI was inconclusive as to whether the silicone was contained within the capsule). Since the mammogram I've noticed a strange pea-sized hard lump just below my rib cage, and am so worried that it is migrated silicone!!

After two appeals, I finally got approval from my insurance company to cover the implant removal-only because I was able to document that the original surgery was to correct "tubular breast deformity" which is considered reconstructive, not cosmetic. That is a blessing, as I was considering getting the implants removed under local anesthesia to save money, which would have meant leaving the capsules in me. From what I've read, if there is a rupture it is important to remove the entire capsule to make sure all the silicone is removed. I've decided to just have the removal at this point and wait and see before deciding on a lift-pretty sure I'm going to need one but I think the removal is enough trauma for now. I can't wait to get them out, but I am so scared I will look and feel deformed-again.

I'm SO grateful that I found this site. I am both hopeful and worried--there are such varied outcomes!! I will post photos either way. Thanks to all of you for your support, until I found this site I had no idea that there were so many of us out there going through this! HUGS~

Surgery is in five hours and I'm a bundle of anxiety and emotions! I'm excited and nervous, and have no idea what to expect for an outcome. I've had implants since I was 19 and weighed 100lbs, now I'm 49 and 135lbs and have breasted four children! I guess we will soon find out! Thanks for all the support, I don't know what I would have done without this awesome community! See you on the "other side"!