Big, Dark Cover Up Tattoo Removal - London, UK

Hi People,

I decided to share my story with you, so here we go.
I had a cover up tattoo two weeks ago, before of that i was really sure that i want it, but somehow after getting it, it looked huge on my body and too dark. In addition, the tattoo artist recommended me to change the design a bit, but i am not sure that this is the reason why i don't like it since the major problem for me is the size and coloring.
The last two weeks were very hard, had anxiety attacks, could not sleep well and was moving back and forward to whether i should get it removed and pretty dark to.
whenever i was looking at it, it felt like it does not belong on my body. its the placement, and dark tone that make it look bad and stupid to me.
I had anxiety 'attacks' on work and people asked me what am i going through. it was very visible that something bad is happening to me.
I think that is yesterday that i have decided that i want to get it removed no matter what the price and length of the journey will be.
I had set an appointment for two laser removal for consultation, send a pic of my tattoo via mail and their prediction was pretty much encouraging.
I have set a low expectations since i saw it is not a magic, but it does work given the time and patience, at least enough to make it bright for a cover that i would like more, if could not fully removed.
I was in a really bad state, thinking about the mistake and the cost of it.
Thanks to this community and blogs i have gained strength to move and forgive myself for the mistakes i made.
I will take this as a challenge and a lesson well learned, on how to love and appreciate your body.
So the consolation is planned in two weeks.
I'm excited to hear what they have to say.
I will keep you all posted...

I've had some though days with my bird as well... anxiety attacks, wake up shaking at night, sometimes even had thoughts about death for a second and then realized how stupid it is that i suffer so much because of stupid ink in my body.
But that is the lesson that we learned, we haven't appreciated the gift of a healthy body and skin that we had. for me i just come to realization i already ruined my body and there is no way it will be "clean" no matter what way i will go. if i keep the bird i will have to add elements to it, since its so big and i feel really stupid to go around just with one big tattoo of a bird on my back, while most of people that have only one tattoo have it small and usually people with several tattoos in one area go large on the same area so the big one blends in with the small ones so it doesn't look weird.
It's just that i am not stable right now and this is really not a good time to decide on any other new tattoo... so if i decide just living with it i will have to wait and see if my emotional and self esteem will get better in the next months. if so only then i will be able to go this path.
there are days i feel i really can go this path and end up with a good and cool overall result, but in the same breath i feel this piece already carries so much bad energy that i don't know if i can ever fully accept it and feel comfortable going shirtless or with a tank top ever again feeling fully proud of my body and body art.
So the other choice for me is go for the removal process, but i am really realistic about it and know it may take up to two years of pain and money expenses, not able to expose my body , go to beach or even go to vacations with friends and so (and i'm not even talking to hook up with people since i don't have any serious Girl friend right now, it might be too embarrassing having sex with discussing blisters and tattoo all screwed up).
Right now i was having sex with the tattoo with some partners and i tried to forget it and pretend i like it, it didn't seem like my partners were discussed by its size or shape which was kind of cheerful for me.
Still haven't had the courage to go to the beach since i got it and that is so sad because i like the beach so much and was proud of my body. i used to work out by now its been hard to making myself continue... what is the point if i can't be proud of my body ever again?
so this is hard... i still going back and forth if i should just for the removal, and even when end up with a ghost tattoo go for a cover up that i will like...
All those thoughts are taking a lot of energy from me... this is somehow funny how bad ink can take control of your life... and its not easy to fight back, especially when its me that caused this mess from the first place...
So bottom line is that i'm still haven't decided what to do... and just wanted to get it out of my chest.
Any replies and advice will be welcomed.

I was moving back and fourth so much about it, wondering what to do with this cover. Almost from the first day I wasnt in peace with him.
As you can see - dark, huge and doesn't really hide the old tribal lizard (funny but now all I wish it will go back to the before state).
So I cannot positive about my chances but depression hit so bad that I just have to do something before I loose myself completely.