Good morning everyone!
Finally getting the...
Good morning everyone!
Finally getting the courage to post my story here. I have been on this site since April of this year when I was unexpectedly approved same day as my first consult with my Kaiser PS! I had attempted this with BCBS 10 years ago and by the time I was approved I no longer had the insurance. So I was so stunned when she said you are are approved- Kaiser basically has a set of criteria you have to meet and if you do than it is a go I guess!
I developed ( and developed and developed) at 14- always being very skinny I can tell you that my triple DDD boobs were NOT what I had in mind .Came from a family of tiny breasted women- sad sigh. Did what all of you did: hid them and got really good at it- big coats, tops etc. Besides, you cant put on the cute sexy stuff without looking like you are advertising and boy did I hate the looks. I think most of us here are small boob girls in our heads and desperately wanting the stuff on the outside to match what we feel on the inside.
I was told at my Pre-op last week that she probably wont get me below a small D- that made me so upset and sad for a while, but then I realized that ANYTHING she did was going to make me look better. At 62 the sag takes over and no amount of fashion creativity works.... not to mention that the years of carrying around what is now F/G (?) boobs has taken its toll on my back. Surgery in less than two weeks and my darling daughter is going to be my care taker for a while. I am not scared of the scars or pain or shape ( I think) but worried about the downtime and anesthesia as I am a bit older than most of you.
I do not have photos to post yet but will as soon as I figure out how- please send your positive thoughts my way. I do not want to chicken out of this- I need it! I am so appreciative of this site 'cus without it I think I would have been too stuck in my fear to see what a great life changing process this can be.
Anyone end up a size larger than they wanted and still felt it was small enough and happy with them??
ONE WEEK AND COUNTING
Good evening everyone!
Well, I was having major anxiety about my upcoming surgery because my PS would not agree to a size B or C for me. I decided to get a second opinion and so glad I did. This second PS essentially said he will take a lb out of each breast and I will be a C!! My existing PS said she is taking a lb out of each breast and I WILL NOT be a C!!! What?? But at the second consult he made it very clear that with my wide base and synmastia ( a congenital form of uniboob) a B cup would look weird tho he could do it if I want. So at the end of the day a lb off is a lb off, so I am sticking with my current surgery date and PS on December 10th. It is taking all my resolve to do this because even my 86 yr old mother told me I looked fine to her without a reduction- I should add that she is barely a B cup and does not have a clue what I haul around every day, right? I have become very talented at packing these lovelies in bras and clothing so no one can see their girnormousness and the time has come for them to go.Today I got the bloodwork done, picked up some gauze pads and Norco prescription. Next Monday I grocery shop and clean like crazy and then try to stay calm until Thursday. So thank you everyone for your awesome support- you have no idea how reading your stories has given me the courage to do this. In seven days I will be in the smaller-is-better club!
TWO DAYS TO GO EEEEK
Well. my surgery is this Thursday and after a terrible sleepless night. now oddly I feel very calm. Today would have been the last day to cancel, so I am committed. Just decided to accept this and not second guess and over analyze it and my wonderful daughter is always there to say 'its okay Mom, you are doing a good thing". Do not have a clue what size I will be, but she must aim for at least a pound to meet the insurance criteria and since I was told I have wide but 'light" breasts ( all fat!!?) that SEEMS like it is half my breast and very okay with that- want small. But PS says closer to a D. Got the house cleaned, groceries bought and now just waiting........
Will try to send a post and include before and after pics when I am done as soon as I can. Say a prayer for me and I am sending one to all of you as well.
SAD AND UNHAPPY
Well, ladies after much stress, over the moon anxiety and a bad gut feeling I cancelled my surgery which was to be tomorrow.
This was an insurance covered procedure but even if it had been given to me free I had to cancel. Brought my daughter to the pre-op with me because I was still so riddled with doubt and she saw nothing but red flags: she heard ( I did not, too stressed and upset to hear it I guess) the PS say I would still be boxy and saggy after the reduction- what???? What PS says that??? From the start her standard answer to what size will I be has been " I cannot tell you- I do not aim for a cup size- those are undependable" Okay how much will you take out?" Her response: " I eyeball it when I get in there" Can I be a C cup? Her response ' No way- not happening" My daughter said that any surgeon that unmotivated to try and make you happy is not someone you want to go with, she is right.It almost seems that she is required to do these surgeries if a patient meets the criteria, but considers it 'grunt work" and not worth her time. Too much downtime, pain and healing to end up with bad results. Sigh. So sad, depressed and unhappy. Wishing all you ladies with PS you feel confident in have the beautiful outcomes you deserve and wishing I could join you ...
OKAY CHAPTER TWO...
I havent posted for a bit as I cancelled my BR in December and put everything on hold. I think my brain was just not ready to do this life changing event and all I could think was how hard it would be to see people and deal with a BR then. Now the new year is here and I will have a good three months recovery without any big/formal family gatherings to deal with, etc.....I can be a hermit and recover!
Also I have lost most of the weight I wanted to and-you guessed it- the boobs did not budge. Nope, not one bit. Bought some cute winter clothes and all I could think was ' wow these would look so much cuter if the boobs were gone". That did it- time to get brave and accept that even though she can't make me a B (even C maybe?) she needs to take off a lb each side and that HAS to make for smaller boobies, right? Also a PS answered my question about size here on this post and he felt ( course no guarantee just his opinion) that that much off based on my current size could be 2-3 cup sizes smaller. I'll take it!
So awaiting my new surgery date- they asked if I could take a cancellation last minute and fortunately I can, so maybe in the next month or two this will happen. Thank you for all your posts and information, it helps and kept me inspired to not quit.
Can't chicken out anymore- this is long overdue.
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES ....
I have not been on this site for a bit as I cancelled my December 10th surgery last year. Lots of doubt, scared, upset that I would still be too big and this is a lot of recovery cost to still be big! However, packing these things in bras, dealing with the quad boob(know I am in denial but I refuse to go up one more bra size) even after losing 27 pounds. My PS said about a pound off- I will take it at this point!
My elderly mom had a heart attack in early February and I realize that I need to slide this in before worse happens. I feel quilty though- they have plentiful resources for care but wont get any and that leaves me filling the gap all the time. But finally re-quested a surgical date and that is the real problem:
earliest possible date could be June or later- now if you are like me and ruminate to the point where you talk yourself out of everything this is not good! I am on a cancellation list- so please say a prayer for me that one opens up soon. I really cannot take another summer cramming these things into bad tops.
HERE WE GO AGAIN...THIS TIME FOR KEEPS!
Began this post last year in August, got scheduled for early December and due to some family issues, me chickening out, etc cancelled last minute. Really feel better prepared mentally and emotionally for this now. So I started the process again and was told sometime July. Well, they got a last minute cancellation and woops- I am going in at 6am this FRIDAY- April fools day no less! I think this is better though- no long agonizing wait time to talk myself out of it. I have lost a lot of weight in anticipation of this surgery and my cup size has budged just the smallest bit, I am a 34 DDD so that clinched it. My PS wont commit to a size but I know I will still be smaller and that will be a good thing. I have had these overly large things since I was 14 and despite whatever other issues I may feel about this surgery know I will not miss them one bit.
Plan on taking some before photos so if I start to doubt and think they aren't small enough ( wanted to be a B, probably a c/d) I can see the change.
Please if anyone is reading this say a prayer for me- I am 62 so this surgery may be a tougher recovery but I am determined to stay positive and accept whatever results/potential complications I might have. I am SO ready to be done with these and be a itty bitty member. Thank you to anyone taking the time to read this- would never had made it this far without all your support.
Have me pre-op tomorrow at 1:30 and I will up date then, and will update just as soon as surgery is done ( go in at 6am).
My thoughts and support to everyone healing and about to have the surgery too!
I am 48 hours post op and things are not too bad, but it is still to early to tell I'm sure. No pain per se and have been relying on Tylenol 111 every 6 hours. Have Norco and will definitely use it if the pains kicks in. My Ps worried me so much about size but kept marking me and re-marking to get me as small as she could and told my daughter she took a lb out of each size. Really happy about that ! I have not seen them unveiled but daughter says they look quite small. I won't actually see them til my post op tomorrow so I am a little anxious. Hoping for a C cup but will take what I get.
Okay some personal drama to share here :
Told my mom as I got this surgery last minute and I provide a lot of errands/driving support for my parents. I have been begging them to get some in home help but she won't budge. So I tell her this and reiterated again that this surgery is very personal and she is the only one I want knowing about it . My sister would be very snarky and judgemental of she knew. So my mom tells my dad who has middle stage dementia ( after I stressed she not tell him or ANYONE) and all day yesterday when someone called he informed family members that I had breast surgery!!! Uggggh so upset about that
Trying real hard to not go nuclear about this.
Feel pretty certain that I made the right decision and want to thank you all for your amazing support . I will be thinking of all you ladies in the recovery process and those of you getting ready . If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.
WEEK TWO AND DOING OKAY
It is such a relief to post that title and already be at day 12 post op. I am so bad with posting pictures but promise I will try to get my daughter to help me. I overthought this procedure so much, but the funny thing is I took someone else's last minute cancellation with 40 hours advance notice and it was crazy trying to cram everything in a day and a half. Missed a lot of stuff but got creative with pillow shams for the back sleeping, and grabbed soup and more soup with crackers for the first few days and that worked out fine. You cannot wash or blow dry your hair til you are given the okay to lift your arms over your head ( and at 12 days out I still cant) so the biggest luxury item/necessity for me was getting my hair washed and blow dryed at a local salon- heaven!!! I highly recommend this if you can work it in because you will feel so good afterwards. The hardest part of this all has been forcing myself to stay inactive- I have a little doggie who misses her walks. My sweet daughter has been handling so much around here and I am just so ready to take some things back. BUT you have to be patient so finally I hired a housecleaning service for a while, I dont want my daughter to have to do all this and clean the house!
Okay, now about the boobs themselves: my PS was so casual and non-commital about the size but they seem so small. I have put on a few tops to go out in on the few days I have and they those tops are LOOSE. Really dont know what size I am as my PS wanted me to stay in the surgical bra she sent me home with and no others. I used to wear a 34 DDD and this bra is a 38 band, but loose. If I had to guess I would say a small D large C. Swelling is not too bad, comes on mostly at the end of the day or if I do something I shouldnt! Because most of the tape is still on I really cant see how the incisions themselves are healing and praying that everything is looking okay under there. I did have good blood supply to nipples and entire breast according to the nurse at my mini-pre-op 4 days after surgery but we will see how things are this Thursday at the official Post Op. Holding my breath as I say this, but NO PAIN. Not a bit, even day one... never used the Norco, just the extra strength Tylenol and was able to avoid all those intestinal issues and I am so grateful. Keep thinking that maybe all the pain, zingers are going to hit in the next two weeks or so as these nerves try to connect, but I am prepared! Have had some burny moments on each nipple and OOOH the itching! But honestly, if this is the worst of it I have no complaints. I had some cute little fatpockets under each arm ( I am very wide breasted) and they are still there, but getting smaller, which surprised me. Daughter says one nip is perfectly round, one looks just a tiny bit square- could not care less. I will just grab a magic marker and fix it up!! Seriously with how awful they were before I sure don't care about having designer nipples- I am like " are they still attached? They havent fallen off? Houston we have success!!"
Oh one other thing, I highly recommend; keep your before fotos loaded in your phone and be ready to grab it the minute you feel down, sad or overwhelmed, this is not a one stop shop event it is a process and you can lose sight of just how much better you are looking. Those before fotos will make you so glad you did it I assure you.
Happy healing to all and tons of good thoughts and best wishes to those of you getting ready. A life transforming event is waiting for you.
YIKES THE ITCHING!
I just hit the three week mark this Friday and some things are gong well( still no pain) and not a huge amount of swelling, BUT if I do too much- my nips let me know-sting sting sting!
I wen to urgent care last night as redness that his persisted on the lower half of my breasts since Day two suddenly seemed very red. I had showered and put a very little bit of Aquaphor ( the only thing my PS wants me to use for now) on as I was getting so dry. Well, the boobs did not like that. Poor Dr at the Urgent Care had no idea what could be going on, said he does not see too many surgical patients there- I bet! But checked my blood for infection (non yay) and then called my PS for her thoughts. She said either I was allergic to the glue- but I thought she did not use any, or the sutures or older patients like me( I'm 62) tend to get this issue more. Yay for being menopausal.
I have been wearing a very comfortable Fruit of the Loom sports bra during the day, I got a band 2 sizes larger per my PS -she does not want any compression the first month- and wearing the very soft surgical bra they sent me home with at night. But I did order some that I saw recommend here because the Fruit of the Loom bra has some shirring on the front and shows through on some tops.
No real pain, so I can't complain, but my breasts definitely look irritated and pissed off right now. Despite all this the Dr last night said the incisions themselves are healing well.
I am so grateful for everyone's stories and posts here- it has been so helpful to see the recovery process and know that what I am experiencing is just part of it for everyone! I am also seeing that it is very individual for everyone- not two exactly alike.
Hoping for non- angry boobs soon!
THREE MONTHS AND ONE WEEK!
Good morning everyone-
Have been a bit lax about posting, but just wanted to update where I am with my healing. Hoping that some of the things I have to say help anyone about to go through this , or going through it.
As anyone who has ready any of my posts might know, I was soooo sure my outcome would be far different than my expectations. I understood that surgery is not an exact science and the Doctor has to work with what they may find once you are in there. Having said that, I am truly astonished and so grateful that at 3 months one week I am still sitting at a pefect C cup! The local department store had a 1/2 off sale of Bali and Warner bras and I actually ordered them online, and with the exception of one they fit. WOW. I am back to my pre-surgery band width of 34 and working so hard to keep off the weight I lost last year in prep for this surgery, so scared any weight gain will make them blow up. They are not perfect: I have some funny dog tags in my low cleavage because she
had to work with a lot of excess skin due to my synmastia( breasts too close together- they do not have their own pocket, sort of a uniboob thing) but she managed to get them so small and I find I really don't mind. I still have that moment in the shower everyday where I go to "lift them up" and there is nothing to lift!
My scars are healing okay- I get about three spitting stitches every few weeks and I just go in to the RN at Kaiser and she takes them out. No problems, just annoying- but honestly I have no complications at all so far so not complaining. I can't however, use the Bio-oil or tape I bought for the scar treatment. My breasts and incisions became red and inflamed so I had to stop. It seems I am just super sensitive to anything on them. Now I just use the Aquaphor with light massage and just the tiniest bit of tape on my left areola where there is a bit of a raised incision.
For many reasons, I only told my mother and daughter about my reduction, so even other family members don't know. So funny, the last two times my sister was over she just looking at me with a puzzled look on her face! She could see something had changed about my body - she has always been the one with b/c cup girls and now I do too. And it is so awesome to be somewhere and not feel all eyes on my chest.....
I follow everyone's story on here and am always so amazed at how wonderful everyone looks and I get so happy for you all. I feel like I didn't just get a breast reduction but joined a very cool club of happy, strong women who are not afraid to make changes for themselves and be brave.
Okay, off to put on a summer top here in So Ca that I could never wear before ever and enjoy this sunny day. Best of healing to all of you.