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Incredible Experience. 15 Years of Wanting Eyelid Surgery.
I had an incredible experience with Dr. Lay and his staff.
My situation: I had asymmetric double eyelids. My left eyelid was bigger than my right eyelid, but on somedays I'd wake up and my eyelids would be balanced. This bothered me for 15 years. Every time I looked in the mirror, I'd be annoyed by the unevenness. Over time, my eyelids had also started to droop a bit, and my right eyelid skin had almost started to rest on my lashes. Overall, I really liked the way I looked and I loved myself -- but my eyelids had started to become a daily distraction, and when I turned 30 I decided to look into surgery. I didn't want to go another 15 years spending precious time/energy thinking about my eyelids. My aesthetic goal was to look like myself, but with greater balance and symmetry. Looking natural was of the utmost importance to me.
Selecting a doctor: I went to two consultations. The first consultation was with a surgeon in San Francisco. On the day of this first consultation, my eyelids happened to be balanced (classic) so it wasn't immediately apparent why I wanted the procedure. The consultation lasted about 20 minutes. The doctor showed me pictures of his patients and to be honest, the eyelids looked... like sausages. The results all looked similar and not particularly delicate / tailored to the person. At the time, I was dead set on using the suture technique and only fixing my right eyelid -- and the doctor said my goals were achievable using my preferred method. It seemed like the right fit, because he could use the technique I wanted and he was located in San Francisco. One warning sign was that I asked about recovery care and they said "it's super easy" and basically provided no further details; I didn't like that they weren't specific enough about telling me what to expect. I almost booked with this surgeon, but my gut told me I should do one more consultation, just to be sure.
The second consultation was with Dr. Lay. I had seen his portfolio, and for the first time I saw patients who looked like me: young women who were looking to fix asymmetry and had natural outcomes. Had Dr. Lay practiced in SF, choosing him would have been a no-brainer. When I met with him, I explained my goals and he immediately understood. He summarized by saying "you want to get rid of the distraction." More importantly, he explained what would give me the best outcome: at least a partial incisional surgery, preferably full incisional. He explained that the suture technique would not give me the outcome I was looking for, and it also doesn't always result in a quicker recovery. He also said I could do the procedure only on one eye, but there would be slight differences in the depth. My consultation lasted just over an hour. He was patient and never sold me on anything. In fact, when I told him how scared I was of having a surgery go wrong, he said: you don't need this procedure and you don't have to do it.
I took several months to reflect on these consultations and decide if I even wanted to get the surgery at all. I read through every Real Self post, that long Soompi thread, and instagram-stalked every asian eyelid surgeon I could find. One thing that was really helpful was reading the doctor Q&A responses on real-self. I particularly liked Dr. Lay's answers, because they were very thoughtful, informative, and customized to the patient. He does a good job of sharing information. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right. I would focus on what I could control: picking the best surgeon possible, getting the procedure that would give me the best outcome, and doing everything I could to help myself during the recovery. A key realization: I was so focused on keeping my surgery private and having a quick recovery, that I almost prioritized short term goals (faster recovery) over long term goals (a great end result).
During these months of reflection, I decided that I would go forward with a full incisional rather than half-ass it with a suture procedure. Suture might work for some people, but it would not give the result that I sought. I wanted permanent results and did not want to do surgery again if it unraveled; I'm a heavy crier and often rub my eyes. I also became increasingly wary of having a foreign object embedded in my eye and decided suture was just not for me. Dr. Lay also had an interesting video where he talked about the suture method looking more unnatural because the brain sees the lines and notices that something is out of place. I looked at A LOT of recovery videos and realized that eyelids actually heal really well, and most of the scars from eyelid surgery are not noticeable. I booked an appointment with Dr. Lay for full-incisional on both eyes. Ane week before, I started taking arnica montana and bromelain.
Day of the procedure: When I arrived, I was so nervous. I typed out my aesthetic goals, what aspects of my eyelids I was specifically unhappy about, and a list of other questions (brow drop, recovery care, etc). I brought pictures of what my eyelids looked like on days when they're balanced. Dr. Lay patiently went through my questions and we discussed the right approach. He used a tool to show me different looks, and after we agreed on the height, he began making the markings. I did not want to remove fat because I like the youthfulness it gives my face. Dr. Lay agreed and we decided to do full-incisional with some modest skin removal (no fat removal). I was so anxious that they gave me half a Xanax... and omg it was a gamechanger. I completely lost my filter and suddenly felt calm. The nurses were so sweet and patient. They didn't judge and made me feel very comfortable.
The surgery itself was a breeze. I don't have a high pain tolerance, and let me tell you: the local anesthetic injections did not hurt at all. I've also had MANY teeth pulled at the dentist; those numbing shots were 100 times worse. I'd read so many people say the LA shots were painful... but I didn't feel a thing. It does help to be relaxed though. If you tense up, the bruises will be worse, so take deep breaths. Dr. Lay also uses a vibrating tool on your forehead to distract you. I was still very nervous up until he made the first cut. Then, once he did and I didn't feel pain, it was smooth sailing. I let him know when I wanted more LA on certain areas and he was quick to add more. Note: it never felt painful (e.g. i never felt the cutting) but when I noticed an area that wasn't completely numb, I asked for a bit more. Before I knew it, it was over and I was on my way home. Pro-tip: have someone drive you. I iced the whole way back and truly could not have driven myself.
The recovery: I am very type-A and I wrote a checklist for my recovery. I timed each icing session and checked it off the list after each session. I iced at least 10 times a day for the first 3 days. This gets really boring after a while, so make sure you have podcasts / audio books. I made sure to stay elevated. I continued taking arnica and bromelain, in addition to eating pineapples. I had NO bruising. Seriously. My mom asked how my recovery was going, and I told her "I am magic." The only real swelling I had was between my eyes (right over the bridge of my nose). I'd seen so many brutal recovery photos and was pleasantly surprised by my healing. Also, the sutures were done so cleanly and precisely that with my eyes open you could barely tell I had them in. My brother said it looked like my sutures had been done with a sewing machine. I had also done meal prep the day before surgery, so I had roasted vegetables, prepared healthy food, etc. I put a lot of effort into following the instructions (e.g. staying away from salt) and I think my diligence paid off. One caveat: I'm a generally healthy person and I think that helped my recovery. I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, I exercise, and I eat healthy.
Today: I'm now a little over 2 weeks post-op. My eyes look great, I feel great, and nobody notices that I've had anything done. I'm extremely pleased with my results. Now when I look in the mirror, I'm not distracted / bothered by the unevenness; instead, I am excited by the way my eyelids look. At the end of the day, I did this procedure for myself and nobody else. It made me feel more confident. If I have one piece of advice, it's this: focus on what you can control and how you can give yourself the best outcome. Choose the best surgeon -- not just someone who is cheap or close by -- and ideally pick someone who specializes in the procedure you want. Make sure you like MOST of the surgeon's after pictures. Make sure your surgeon is honest, transparent, and cares about your well-being. And message patients to hear about their experiences (instagram is best - I didn't get any answers from people I messaged on real self).
Even though my experience was easy and went well, surgery still IS a big deal. I'm glad I was thorough in my research and waited until I was ready. Be very thoughtful and don't settle. I'm very private and have only told 2 people, so I won't be posting any photos. I hope this review is informative!
My situation: I had asymmetric double eyelids. My left eyelid was bigger than my right eyelid, but on somedays I'd wake up and my eyelids would be balanced. This bothered me for 15 years. Every time I looked in the mirror, I'd be annoyed by the unevenness. Over time, my eyelids had also started to droop a bit, and my right eyelid skin had almost started to rest on my lashes. Overall, I really liked the way I looked and I loved myself -- but my eyelids had started to become a daily distraction, and when I turned 30 I decided to look into surgery. I didn't want to go another 15 years spending precious time/energy thinking about my eyelids. My aesthetic goal was to look like myself, but with greater balance and symmetry. Looking natural was of the utmost importance to me.
Selecting a doctor: I went to two consultations. The first consultation was with a surgeon in San Francisco. On the day of this first consultation, my eyelids happened to be balanced (classic) so it wasn't immediately apparent why I wanted the procedure. The consultation lasted about 20 minutes. The doctor showed me pictures of his patients and to be honest, the eyelids looked... like sausages. The results all looked similar and not particularly delicate / tailored to the person. At the time, I was dead set on using the suture technique and only fixing my right eyelid -- and the doctor said my goals were achievable using my preferred method. It seemed like the right fit, because he could use the technique I wanted and he was located in San Francisco. One warning sign was that I asked about recovery care and they said "it's super easy" and basically provided no further details; I didn't like that they weren't specific enough about telling me what to expect. I almost booked with this surgeon, but my gut told me I should do one more consultation, just to be sure.
The second consultation was with Dr. Lay. I had seen his portfolio, and for the first time I saw patients who looked like me: young women who were looking to fix asymmetry and had natural outcomes. Had Dr. Lay practiced in SF, choosing him would have been a no-brainer. When I met with him, I explained my goals and he immediately understood. He summarized by saying "you want to get rid of the distraction." More importantly, he explained what would give me the best outcome: at least a partial incisional surgery, preferably full incisional. He explained that the suture technique would not give me the outcome I was looking for, and it also doesn't always result in a quicker recovery. He also said I could do the procedure only on one eye, but there would be slight differences in the depth. My consultation lasted just over an hour. He was patient and never sold me on anything. In fact, when I told him how scared I was of having a surgery go wrong, he said: you don't need this procedure and you don't have to do it.
I took several months to reflect on these consultations and decide if I even wanted to get the surgery at all. I read through every Real Self post, that long Soompi thread, and instagram-stalked every asian eyelid surgeon I could find. One thing that was really helpful was reading the doctor Q&A responses on real-self. I particularly liked Dr. Lay's answers, because they were very thoughtful, informative, and customized to the patient. He does a good job of sharing information. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right. I would focus on what I could control: picking the best surgeon possible, getting the procedure that would give me the best outcome, and doing everything I could to help myself during the recovery. A key realization: I was so focused on keeping my surgery private and having a quick recovery, that I almost prioritized short term goals (faster recovery) over long term goals (a great end result).
During these months of reflection, I decided that I would go forward with a full incisional rather than half-ass it with a suture procedure. Suture might work for some people, but it would not give the result that I sought. I wanted permanent results and did not want to do surgery again if it unraveled; I'm a heavy crier and often rub my eyes. I also became increasingly wary of having a foreign object embedded in my eye and decided suture was just not for me. Dr. Lay also had an interesting video where he talked about the suture method looking more unnatural because the brain sees the lines and notices that something is out of place. I looked at A LOT of recovery videos and realized that eyelids actually heal really well, and most of the scars from eyelid surgery are not noticeable. I booked an appointment with Dr. Lay for full-incisional on both eyes. Ane week before, I started taking arnica montana and bromelain.
Day of the procedure: When I arrived, I was so nervous. I typed out my aesthetic goals, what aspects of my eyelids I was specifically unhappy about, and a list of other questions (brow drop, recovery care, etc). I brought pictures of what my eyelids looked like on days when they're balanced. Dr. Lay patiently went through my questions and we discussed the right approach. He used a tool to show me different looks, and after we agreed on the height, he began making the markings. I did not want to remove fat because I like the youthfulness it gives my face. Dr. Lay agreed and we decided to do full-incisional with some modest skin removal (no fat removal). I was so anxious that they gave me half a Xanax... and omg it was a gamechanger. I completely lost my filter and suddenly felt calm. The nurses were so sweet and patient. They didn't judge and made me feel very comfortable.
The surgery itself was a breeze. I don't have a high pain tolerance, and let me tell you: the local anesthetic injections did not hurt at all. I've also had MANY teeth pulled at the dentist; those numbing shots were 100 times worse. I'd read so many people say the LA shots were painful... but I didn't feel a thing. It does help to be relaxed though. If you tense up, the bruises will be worse, so take deep breaths. Dr. Lay also uses a vibrating tool on your forehead to distract you. I was still very nervous up until he made the first cut. Then, once he did and I didn't feel pain, it was smooth sailing. I let him know when I wanted more LA on certain areas and he was quick to add more. Note: it never felt painful (e.g. i never felt the cutting) but when I noticed an area that wasn't completely numb, I asked for a bit more. Before I knew it, it was over and I was on my way home. Pro-tip: have someone drive you. I iced the whole way back and truly could not have driven myself.
The recovery: I am very type-A and I wrote a checklist for my recovery. I timed each icing session and checked it off the list after each session. I iced at least 10 times a day for the first 3 days. This gets really boring after a while, so make sure you have podcasts / audio books. I made sure to stay elevated. I continued taking arnica and bromelain, in addition to eating pineapples. I had NO bruising. Seriously. My mom asked how my recovery was going, and I told her "I am magic." The only real swelling I had was between my eyes (right over the bridge of my nose). I'd seen so many brutal recovery photos and was pleasantly surprised by my healing. Also, the sutures were done so cleanly and precisely that with my eyes open you could barely tell I had them in. My brother said it looked like my sutures had been done with a sewing machine. I had also done meal prep the day before surgery, so I had roasted vegetables, prepared healthy food, etc. I put a lot of effort into following the instructions (e.g. staying away from salt) and I think my diligence paid off. One caveat: I'm a generally healthy person and I think that helped my recovery. I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, I exercise, and I eat healthy.
Today: I'm now a little over 2 weeks post-op. My eyes look great, I feel great, and nobody notices that I've had anything done. I'm extremely pleased with my results. Now when I look in the mirror, I'm not distracted / bothered by the unevenness; instead, I am excited by the way my eyelids look. At the end of the day, I did this procedure for myself and nobody else. It made me feel more confident. If I have one piece of advice, it's this: focus on what you can control and how you can give yourself the best outcome. Choose the best surgeon -- not just someone who is cheap or close by -- and ideally pick someone who specializes in the procedure you want. Make sure you like MOST of the surgeon's after pictures. Make sure your surgeon is honest, transparent, and cares about your well-being. And message patients to hear about their experiences (instagram is best - I didn't get any answers from people I messaged on real self).
Even though my experience was easy and went well, surgery still IS a big deal. I'm glad I was thorough in my research and waited until I was ready. Be very thoughtful and don't settle. I'm very private and have only told 2 people, so I won't be posting any photos. I hope this review is informative!
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