POSTED UNDER Tummy Tuck Reviews
Pre-surgery - need Support and Input - Illinois
UPDATED FROM shaye from illinois
So, for those few people who are keeping up with...
$25,000
So, for those few people who are keeping up with my soap opera, I decided yesterday while he was at work to sit and write down my feeling, I am so bad at talking and expressing when I keep getting interrupted, so I wrote like 2 pages on my feelings for him and why I wanted to do this operation. Instead of having him read it I read it to him. he still doesnt understand why, and he told me to save my money up and maybe next year.I know him, and next year it will be the same. he will have some excuse why we cant afford it. He is just trying to get me to shut for now! I was really hoping to have this done by summer or at least during this summer. I even tried just asking for his help getting enough money for a TT instead of the mommy makeover. He still said no, not now.It just baffles me that he doesnt want to do what ever it might take to help me feel better. Im sure those girls he checks out when we go anywhere feel real good though! Especially when they see me right next to him! He isnt a bad guy but he's a man. He wouldnt cheat on or leave me but it still hurts when i see him look.I just wanna feel like a woman for once, feel normal. I havent since I was 17. Boy if I knew then how i would look now I sure would have worked out more and ate better through out the years.
Replies (5)
May 16, 2011
Hang in there girl. It is very scary and exciting - all at once. I too was PG at age 17 and now divorced, reside alone. My family NOT encouraging or supportive except for older daughter, but this was for me. I wouldn't go back and undue TT for all the $$$ in the world. Keep on track with what is right for you! I look forward to hearing how you are doing.
May 16, 2011
thank you for supporting me. I am probably not getting it done because my fiance wont help me. I wish I could. But congrats on yours. and im glad your older child supported you!
May 16, 2011
Take care, I'll be thinking of you whether you get it or not. I can relate to your story and my heart goes to you!
May 17, 2011
Hang in there. While you figure out what you are going to do, start excersing or doing something that makes you feel good about yourself. Keep us posted.
May 18, 2011
My hubby put me off from doing this for years obviously it only came up a handful of times throughout these years but up until a couple of months ago I was resigned to the fact that I was never going to get it done, thence visited some friends in Malta and he saw the result of hers and suddenly announced that he would pay for mine for my 50th birthday next month, I think he suddenly realised what he had been denying me and I also think he had the same insecurities your fella has but suddenly snapped out of it I think by looking at our friends results he saw that this would benefit him as well lol I am now 26 days post op and as hubby is away he has not seen my results in the flesh yet only in a photo I wish I had this done at least ten years ago but better late than never! I feel good wishing you luck and I really hope you can get this done for you.
May 20, 2011
hi shaye,
Am also new to this.writing from East africa. am 41 yrs old with three kids.our hospitals here dont handle "happy surgeries'.i want to have a TT done.this is why we have something in common.would you consider having your operation in india.i have made some enquiries for myself a TT plus breast augmentation would cost $5400.the PS is american trained and certified .Dr Ajaya Kashap. and my costs include 4 days hospitalisation.When your trying to achieve your dream explore all options. research india medical tourism packages.but keep your health and wellbeing a priority.
Am also new to this.writing from East africa. am 41 yrs old with three kids.our hospitals here dont handle "happy surgeries'.i want to have a TT done.this is why we have something in common.would you consider having your operation in india.i have made some enquiries for myself a TT plus breast augmentation would cost $5400.the PS is american trained and certified .Dr Ajaya Kashap. and my costs include 4 days hospitalisation.When your trying to achieve your dream explore all options. research india medical tourism packages.but keep your health and wellbeing a priority.
UPDATED FROM shaye from illinois
Oay, so I posted a question on this site about how...
Oay, so I posted a question on this site about how much lipo is on inner and outer thighs. One of the docs on here, to me, seemed a bit rude. I am new to the whole surgery thing and when my fiance was going to help me he wanted to know the exact amount before he got the loan. I had already been on sites searching and reading about doctors and and reading what everyone puts on here about their docs to try and find a good one. I cant afford to travel far so I was looking in my area hoping there is a good one here. Then when I found a couple that I liked I checked into them and read about them and checked out before and after pics. One is a lot cheaper than the other but I know this is extremely important and you don't wanna go cheap! Then I set up consultations with both but cant get in til June. So anyways this doctor told me that I am not doing this the right way that I am too worried about cost and that could get me in trouble. WHAT! All I wanted to know was how much lipo might run me, now i know there is now exact cost it depends on everything and only your doc can tell you cost. I looked into what I wanted, checked for docs, then read up on them and viewed photos and called. I was trying to find out how (about) much lipo was so I could let my penny pinching fiance know so he could get a loan for everything. Obviously the doctor who replied didnt read my whole comment. i dont know, Just added to my frustration when I read his reply. I thought I was doing all the steps right for someone who has never done this before. I dont wanna get botched if i do do this so I know not to go with cheap. I have searched for doctors before I even got on here. The doc on here said I was too worried about cost...arent we all? How can I get a loan for everything if I dont know what its all gonna run me? Oh well doesnt matter know. Im on my own with this and probably wont get to do it anyways. Just wanted to tell you guys.
Replies (3)
May 14, 2011
Shaye, I have been reading for weeks but did not join, your story touched me and I just needed to comment. I am so sorry that you do not have the support you need. A TT is a lot of money and a long recovery. Doing it with out help will definately be difficult but if it will make you feel better about yourself then find a way. I have 3 kids,11,5 and 2. I have been thinking about this since my first child was born. The insecurity does not go away. I have worked out, diet, you name it but I still don't feel great about my body. He may have genuine concerns about you leaving him when you are hot and sexy. I know they may be unfounded but discuss this with him, let him know that when you have a better self image it will allow you to just love everyone else more because it all spills over from the inside. Men are sometimes like kids, they need to feel that they are loved and won't be left behind. I hope I did not talk too much. Good luck and I pray that he comes around.
May 14, 2011
Hi Shaye,
Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. Don't look at this as a screwed up story. This is called life and we all have our stories:) Not all pretty but that's the way it goes.
I really hope that all of this works out for you and that you are able to get the body you want and deserve. This can be a tough subject for some and not everyone understands the thinking process we go through. Stay strong and keep with your support here on RealSelf. We all understand what you are feeling and thinking because we have all been there.
May 14, 2011
Thank you both for your reply's. He does have fears about me looking better and leaving. He use to say that when I would just talk about losing weight. I think he knows that I am not that hot right now, im pretty, but heavy and men dont hit on me. I also think that he likes me feeling down about myself because he feels it keeps me with him, like I cant get anyone better right now I guess. I dont know I am just so sad now. I Have had to live with this body since I was 17 and for once I just wanna know what it's like to sit down without rolls and covering up with a pillow. I just want my self esteem back. But again thank you both!!!
UPDATED FROM shaye from illinois
Well it is only the day after I started writing...
Well it is only the day after I started writing this review and last night he told me that he would apply for a loan so I can do this if this is what is going to make me happy. I was so excited I could cry! I dreamed that night of getting the surgery done and how wonderful i would feel and look finally. I think I slept with a smile the whole night. Then this morning on my way out to work he said he changed his mind. He wasnt going to help me get the money because he thinks that I will leave after the surgery since I will have this new self esteem. I did cry then...well not in front of him, but the whole way to work. I held tears back the whole day then as soon as I got in my van to drive to get my daughter I broke down again. I have since been online looking for lenders who loan to people with bad credit. Not much luck. Im gonna see if my mom will co-sign, I can make the payments cause i work I just dont have the credit to get the loan. I was injured on the job in 2004 and was off work a while and got behind on bills and credit cards, thats why my credit sucks. I might have to limit my surgeries to just one...maybe at least a tummy tuck. But I will still be unhappy with the girls...oh well, beggars cant be choosey right!
Replies (1)
May 14, 2011
Hi and welcome. I am somewhat new to this site and working on the same thing as you. I just came across this story. It may be what you are looking for.
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Good luck!
You might want to check out this thread in our forum by a woman with an unsupportive spouse. I sure hope your fiance comes around. I totally get where you're coming from.