My cup is half full or possibly only 1/4 full but that's enough!

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I am 52 and have had my saline, over the muscle...

I am 52 and have had my saline, over the muscle implants for about 22 years. I weighed around 100 lbs at the time and started as an A cup and went to a full C. I was very happy with them for a long time. No problems. Now that I'm older and 25 lbs heavier, they seem out of proportion to my body and sloppy looking. That perception has been creeping up on me over the last two years. I hate having to wear industrial strength bras (I sometimes call them bulletproof bras) and being squeezed by them all day. I've had shoulder and neck problems that might possibly be due to the added weight. At any rate, my perception of what is beautiful has changed over the years. I find overly large breasts, whether they be natural or implants, to be unattractive. I find it strange that some men find large breasts attractive for the sake of being large, whether they are aesthetically pleasing or not. It takes all kinds.

Anyway, I got around to researching removal and after reading lots of stories and looking at lots of pictures, I have decided to have them removed. I don't want to get a lift and from what I see here, I probably won't need it. I will be relying on VS, inserts, and padding. Now it's just a matter of finding the right doctor. My big dilemma is whether to insist on a capsulectomy or not. I've read all the pro's and con's about it but still feel really unresolved. The thought of having to travel far away to have that procedure is daunting... and expensive. What happens if you travel far away and have complications when you get back home?

I had one consult so far and it was quite obvious that he didn't want to explant without a lift. The doctor I went to is very well known here and does excellent work... putting them in. I had to wonder about his knowledge of explant because he had qualms about how my breast was going to attach to the chest wall in a saggy manner and whether it would cause problems later if I did want a lift. I can't decide if he was trying to bamboozle me into a lift or if he really didn't know that it is common to wait 6 months before lifting. He showed me pictures of a person who had drastic weight loss and told me that is what I would look like after explant. Of course the picture he showed me was horrific. He was also a bit patronizing about my looking at pictures on the internet. After looking at many pictures on this site, I can tell that my breasts would be somewhat saggy but not horribly so. I look a lot like Lillibeth on this site in her before shots and I think her results are entirely acceptable for women our age. I am hoping for similar results.

I found the surgeon who implanted me

I actually couldn't remember the name of the surgeon who did my implant and couldn't remember the exact year either. From reading on this site, I got the idea to call the hospital that his office was a part of and am so glad I did. They still had me in their system so I found out that I did have it done in 1991 and they gave me my doctor's name. I made an appointment for a consultation with him next week and I actually got a good vibe talking to the office assistant on the phone. They still had my complete old record. My weight was actually 110 and I am very excited to see my before pictures because I have forgotten what my old boobies actually looked like. I apparently had 350cc's in both breasts. I have high hopes for the possibility of using my original surgeon. He is in a different town but only 45 minutes away.

I still have not received the quote from my first consult and it would not surprise me if they didn't send it at all since he was not very excited about doing an explant without a lift and came within a hairs breadth of insulting my intelligence.

I am starting to wonder about the healing process and the wrap. I will try to frame this question as best I can. Since I am not getting a lift I expect results similar to Lillibeth's on this site. There is definitely some overlap at the inframammary fold that doesn't occur when the ladies get a lift. What is the optimal way to position the breast in the wrap after surgery to ensure the best result when everything heals and reattaches? Does this question make any sense? I would think that wrapping in a lifted postion would provide for the better result rather than say, wrapping with an ace bandage starting from the top down so that the breast is actually forced downward a bit by the bandage. I would love to hear some input. I told you I was a worrier.

Had consult with original surgeon

He was a very nice man but he spent the whole time telling me that my reasons for wanting an explant were invalid and that I would be very unhappy and come running back to him wanting implants again... that being the case, I should save myself the extra surgery and get smaller replacements now. On a lighter note, they did have my old photos and I was happy to be able to see them since my memory of what I looked like is a bit hazy. I think they were beautiful. The search for a surgeon continues.

The date is set

After ruminating and sitting on the fence for several weeks, I came to a decision last night. After I made the decision, my mood lightened considerably and I felt a welcomed relief. I called to schedule today and November 7th is the day. Yikes! So soon! The scheduler offered that day so I thought, 'Why not? Less time to stress and worry about it'. I'm financially committed now since I had to put down a non-refundable deposit.

I decided to go with the first surgeon I saw although he wasn't too happy about doing it. He is a top notch surgeon and will do an expert job regardless. After weighing the pros and cons of travelling hours away or being in my own town, I chose the latter. If I had qualms about his ability I would definitely travel... but that's not the case. It would be nice if he were more optimistic but it isn't necessary. There were other women on this site who also had excellent surgeons who were not thrilled to be doing explant but did a wonderful job regardless. I think he is reluctant to do an explant because the results are not what he would consider to be aesthetically pleasing and is afraid that I will be unhappy and tell the world about it. I will assure him that I am fully prepared for what I might look like. He definitely wanted me to choose a lift but I'm going to wait and hope for the best. I have great faith in bras.

So, I have just about 2 weeks to scramble to get everything I will need. I am going to prepare food ahead of time and make sure I have everything I could possibly want while recovering. I'm having the capsules removed so my recovery won't be as quick as some on this site. I am really excited and scared... just like everyone else! I'm going to definitely pick up a few sport bras. Suggestions are welcomed.

I've been trying to figure out how to deal with the change in my appearance to people who don't know I've had implants (Really?). If anyone mentions it I will probably say I've had a reduction and leave it at that. Cold weather is here so covering up is easier and I will be buying padded bras and such. I am so looking forward to wearing fitted tops and cute summer camisoles!!! They haven't been an option for many years. I had my eye on one about a month ago at a local shop but didn't buy it of course... I would have looked horrendous in it. I might go back this weekend to see if they have any left. I'll hang it on my closet door, look at it everyday, and wait for warm weather.

Can you tell I'm stoked?

Pre-op complete

Had my pre-op appointment today. My surgeon plans on explanting en bloc. I'm a bit confused because I didn't think en bloc was necessary with saline implants. He is removing the capsules but I have to wonder if the capsule can be removed from a smaller incision after rupturing the implant and removing it. That would require a longer incision and who wants that if it isn't needed? He also talked about possibly using some internal stitches. Me, being the worrier that I am, wonder if this will result in dents. I am 1 week away from my date and am really very glad I made the date so soon because it will save me so much stress! Just think if I had to wait a month.
I am so looking forward to getting the weight off my shoulders and at some point to be able to wear bras that aren't so binding and uncomfortable. Some of the ladies here are much bigger than I am and I don't know how they stand it. I always feel like I'm in a catch 22... I can't wait to get home and take my bra off but then I worry that the 'down' time will just make them saggier. Sometimes I compromise and put my bra strap down on the side that I just had shoulder surgery on. I had decompression done and still the weight of my bra makes my shoulder hurt. I am looking forward to the sudden lightness. Every time I stop to wonder if I really want to do this, I think about the possibility of sudden deflation and having to do this anyway. I think about the fact that surgery won't be any easier the older I get and my breasts won't be getting any younger. Now is the best time to do this. I can't wait to not look so top heavy.

By this time tomorrow...

It will all be over with this time tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be in a lot of pain. My surgeon is going to use something internally that lasts for 72 hours. Maybe the worst part of the pain will be over by then.
I am really stressed and feel a bit panicky. My poor dog is afraid of me because he can sense my agitation. That disturbs me because he is my buddy... has been glued to me for 6 years. I guess he just doesn't know how to react to this strange me. I have to be there at 7:00 am. I am so thankful that it is an early surgery.
I just had an awful thought... I'm having hot flashes lately and won't it be fun to have a hot flash while all wrapped up in an ace bandage! Woohoo! Not.

On the other side now

It's all done. Surgeon said it all went very well and he ran into no problems. I had full capsulectomys. Very woozy still but not in too much pain. I don't know how much boobage is left because I'm wrapped very tightly. I do hope for at least an A cup... something to hold the bra down. I have my implants in a bag and they are actually bigger than I envisioned, which means that very little of my pre-explant look was actual breast tissue. Yikes! I'm too drugged up to be anxious right now though ;p
I want to say 'thank you' to all those who wrote comforting words yesterday. It really does help tremendously to hear from boob sisters and take the journey with others.

Drugs are kicking my butt

I'm going to try to decrease my use of pain pills. I feel like a shaky zombie. Indigestion too... oh and add constipation to that.
The doc said I could loosen my ace bandage if I wanted to but I'm afraid to take it off. I'm not sure I can handle what I might see. I want to be a bit more clear headed before looking. The pain meds have me all nervous and doped at the same time and I don't want to add another stressor in the mix. Hoping to feel better tomorrow.

Chicken Little

Inspired by Rascal100 I stopped the demerol today and I feel tons better. I have some pain but it is tolerable. Who would have thought? Glad I read your review Rascal!
I am considering peeking today and changing the ace bandage for the compression bra. I did pull the ace out a bit to peer in from the top and my breast looks wrinkly and smooshed. I think (hope) that will fluff out when the compression is off.

Post op appointment

I made it through my post op appointment. I was pretty nervous about getting the drains out. The nurse cut me out of my bandage first and I had time to look and assess things before the doctor came in. I have to say I was pleased because I had prepared for the worst, just in case. I didn't know what to expect with the removal of the drains... some women say it hurts and others say it's no big deal. I wouldn't say it was extremely painful but it was definitely a moment of intense discomfort. I had no clue until after they were out that they were in there that far. They actually coil them in your breast and that is exactly what it felt like coming out. I had to laugh at myself afterwards because when I was at home I accidentally tugged a bit on one of my tubes and worried that I had dislodged it. Ha! It would have taken a heck of a lot more of a tug to get that baby out. They had to put some muscle into it. Thank God that is over.
I took my first pix tonight. I'm still swollen and bruised and I will probably end up being an A cup. That is fine by me and I am not against embellishing when needed. I am liking my new look even with the compression bra making me totally flat. I can't wait to try on bras and clothes and figure out my new look. I am horrified by my stomach right now... very distended and I'm sure it looks more pronounced to me since the top is flatter. Laying around the house is contributing to the Jabba the Hutt feeling. I'm bored to tears already but not cleared to drive yet and certainly no exercise yet. This too shall pass. I am very glad to be done with the boob thing although I really did enjoy them for a good many years. Not so much toward the end. At this point in my life I can enjoy and appreciate a leaner look.

Dress up

I played dress up this morning and I have to say that I am loving my new look. I don't feel any regret or misgivings at all. Maybe that is due to my age and the fact that sad events in my past are not tied to my breasts. I know that some of the younger women on this site have experienced that and I truly hope that it resolves. I'm flatter than a lot of the women on here but I'm happy with it. I can enhance when I want. I almost feel like I have to enhance immediately so the difference won't be so noticeable but I'm loving the sleek look right now. My profile is athletic, petite, and feminine... and it's true that you do look thinner. Even with the bloated stomach right now! Thrilled! I am so happy not to look like a walking pair of boobs!

Pretty much in the clear now

The scary part is all over and I couldn't be happier. My ps gave me the ok to lose the ace bandage. There is just no way to look good in clothing all wrapped up in an ace bandage.
I went to Kohl's and purchased quite a few Bali Comfort Revolution bras with the padding. I love how they make me look and they are SO comfy! I don't feel squeezed to death anymore... I am so thankful for that.
My skin has retracted a bit and I actually look fairly smooth. I really can't complain. I'm a b cup and I'll take it! I'm loving how I look in clothing. I feel normal again.

One year update

It has been one year and I am so pleased with my decision to explant. I love how I look now and bras are comfortable once again. I love wearing camisole type tops that were off the menu when I had double d's. I made the transition smoothly and seamlessly! I'm including a photo for all those who are contemplating a removal with no lift. Of course, everyone is different but if you look at women who have similar implants, over muscle, under muscle, etc., you can get a good idea of what you will look like. I looked at as many reviews as I could find from women who were similar to me implant-wise and I really did come out looking just like I thought I would, based on that research. I am 53 and have some sag but with a bra I am more than pleased with my look!
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