Why did I wait so long to do this? BIKINI is nolonger a

Honestly, deposit has been paid, yet I am still feeling quite removed from the reality of it all. I have dreamed of this moment for what seems an eternity; never having had the "ideal" breasts ( in my eyes). As a teenager I was endowed with a handsome chest. Soon after giving birth to my first child, I was diagnosed with Graves Disease. A complication which only worsened following the arrival of my second child. Basically, I was unable to keep weight on; which equated to the loss of my ample bosom! : (

Fast forward a decade; and I am told that my breasts resemble "sunny side up eggs"!

Naturally any woman with a shred of self respect would only wish to remedy the situation! Hence the plight of the perfect boobies!

" There is nothing to fear, but fear itself"
is the most adequate way to describe the reason I waited so long. The fear of pain, the fear of being " put under" for the first time. The fear of being judged and the fear of the unknown.

As mentioned above, I have wanted this for quite some time. However fear is a great motivator and it motivated me to make nothing but excuses as to NOT get the surgery. I was vain, I was setting a bad example to my (now)14 year old daughter, the fear of not being able to run another marathon yada yada yada! Fast forward a decade and I find myself a 39 year old women who is still living in the shadows of fear! Enough already, it is my life and I am going to bite the bullet! I do not think a small C cup will interfere with my running! ;)

I am now 2 days post op, I can not believe I put this off for so long.
My advice, clean the house before hand. Laundry, dusting vacuuming, bathrooms; heck I even washed floors, curtains, windows, made several meal ahead (lasagna, pasta sauce, pottage)...I was "nesting" for the arrival of my "twin girls"! ; )

November 8th. That date seemed like a fictitious number to me for months now, yet there it was, real and tangible! I arrived at the clinic for 10 am. Paid my balance. My total cost for the lift\augmentation; $8 270. I ended up spending an extra $400 due to the fact that I opted to spend the night at the clinic. Living far from the clinic, leaving in the evening only to have go back early the next morning was what sold me. It ended up being the best decision I could have made and was worth every penny!
So, after I paid the balance, it was off to the real clinic down the hall.I met with the nurse, filled out all the form and questionnaires, I then met with the anesthesiologist.( LADIES, be sure to mention if you have an intolerance or allergy to latex. Most tapes have latex. I made sure to mention this. I can not use many types of band aids, I get blisters from prolonged exposure to latex ) Next step, off to get changed into my stylish hospital gown, slippers and bath robe. I am taken to the waiting room, we are three ladies. Oddly enough the atmosphere is calm. One lady is resting with a pillow under head and the other is chatting with someone on the phone. We are called one by one, I am the last to go. It is Dr Beauregard himself who comes to meet me and takes me the pre op exam room. He inquires if I have any qualms or apprehensions, answers my questions and draws the lines of his upcoming masterpiece. Once this is completed, his assistant fetches me and we walk to the O.R.Everything seems so surreal, I am still not quite convinced that this is REALLY going to happen.I walk into the O.R. and freeze...in the movies the O.Rs are closed off rooms; this one has windows facing all of Montréal and the passerby's traveling on the Champlain Bridge! Dr. Beauregard's staff are all there prepping the for the surgery. I am told to lay down on the bed. We crack a few jokes as they explain the procedure to being put under. I am hooked up to an IV and before I know it things are becoming slow and "tingly"....

....fuzzy sounds, blurry lights, recognizable voices and clear lights are the first things I recall coming out of the anesthesia. Like a slow and steady climb back to reality; like waking from a deep and restful sleep.

I open my eyes and surprisingly, there is NO PAIN! There IS a pressure, like a load of bricks on my chest, but no pain! This victory of sorts is short lived when (silly me) I try to get up! To anyone who has trained at high level weather it be weightlifting, swimming, running etc...you know this pain. It is a muscular pain, not unbearable yet it is a pain you remember and fear!

The nurses are quick to respond and ask all sorts of questions.I was lucky, I did not feel sick,not in any agony, just thirsty! To be perfectly honest the next couple of hours(? time had no meaning at this point) were a blur, in and out of sleep; I was still quite loopy. I felt seriously doped up and knew that I was. I was aware of the phone call they placed to my man letting him know that I was awake and able to receive visitors. By this time it was 4:30pm and I was one hour post op. Oddly enough when trying to move, my left side hurt much less than the right; I had greater range of motion in my left arm!
After my hubby stopped by and left, the nurses were wanting me to get up and have my first pee; this I was not ready for! ( AND THIS IS WHY I AM GLAD I SPENT THE NIGHT) I have a very slow heart beat (38-44 when resting) and low blood pressure.
During surgery they actually had to spike my heart rate to 90 BPM. So here I am, a 5'9 , 145lbs lady with 2 tiny little nurses, well into their 50's getting up from my bed to be placed in a wheel chair so I can make the tiny trip to the loo. Only I DO NOT make it. As I sit in the wheel chair, I can feel it happening, that feeling of fading out and the panic of not wanting to pass out. Needless to say the next thing I remember is the someone is slapping my face and that I am becoming increasingly annoyed because I just want to sleep, only to realize that this tiny little nurse has me upside down in the wheel chair that she holding by herself! I had indeed passed out due to my low heart beat and blood pressure. This would have occurred weather I had spent the night or not; I can not stress enough how great full I am to the series of events that lead me to the choice of spending the night.

Moving along, it is now close to 10 pm.Still no pain, just pressure. By this time it had been a good 6 hours since my last dose of pain meds and I was ready for more. I was given a shot of morphine and was able to pass the night without the need for more.It was one of the most restful sleeps I can ever recall. I would drift in and out of sleep for what seemed like and endless night. : ) By 6 am the nurses came back to wake me up and give my next dose of meds, which I was more than welcome to accept! Getting up was less of an ordeal, again however, my left side was much more mobile than the right. I was fitted for my new bbf for the next two weeks; my post op bra! Once my hubby was there, they sent us on our merry way.

The ride home was uneventful.I actually felt normal; aside from the fact that I felt like my breasts were at 40 weeks gestation and ready to deliver. For me that is what it feels like! I feel like I am walking around with pregnant boobies! I keep on rubbing them the way a pregnant woman rubs her belly!
I picked up my meds - Celebrex and Hydromorphone and off to home it was. HOME...a four letter word when you have 3 dogs and 2 cats; especially when one of the dogs is a Yorkie that is more closely attached to me than my own shadow! The dogs were dogs and bounced about overjoyed upon my return as queen of the castle( I am the one who feeds them ; )...).
Once home, the relief sets in. I have made it, I am HOME! First thing I do? My hair and make up. Next on the list, some light cleaning, and then some rest. Curiously, I feel no different than the day before the surgery, apart from the swollen bags on my chest; but all in all that is it! I can move around, fix supper, wash dishes.... The meds I take only as a precaution. Last night I took my dose at midnight. I woke up at 7:30, no pain, just pressure.

I just took my first shower,with my hubby's help of course; which proved to be quite entertaining! : )
I am happy to report that I still have sensitivity in my nipples ( I was afraid of loosing it due to the op). I am apprehensive in regards to the size of my chest. I had a lift with augmentation of 300cc's, I know they are still swollen...so I will just have to heal and be patient!

Cheers and until tomorrow!