" There is nothing to fear, but fear itself"
" There is nothing to fear, but fear itself"
is the most adequate way to describe the reason I waited so long. The fear of pain, the fear of being " put under" for the first time. The fear of being judged and the fear of the unknown.
As mentioned above, I have wanted this for quite some time. However fear is a great motivator and it motivated me to make nothing but excuses as to NOT get the surgery. I was vain, I was setting a bad example to my (now)14 year old daughter, the fear of not being able to run another marathon yada yada yada! Fast forward a decade and I find myself a 39 year old women who is still living in the shadows of fear! Enough already, it is my life and I am going to bite the bullet! I do not think a small C cup will interfere with my running! ;)
I am now 2 days post op, I can not believe I put this off for so long.
My advice, clean the house before hand. Laundry, dusting vacuuming, bathrooms; heck I even washed floors, curtains, windows, made several meal ahead (lasagna, pasta sauce, pottage)...I was "nesting" for the arrival of my "twin girls"! ; )
November 8th. That date seemed like a fictitious number to me for months now, yet there it was, real and tangible! I arrived at the clinic for 10 am. Paid my balance. My total cost for the lift\augmentation; $8 270. I ended up spending an extra $400 due to the fact that I opted to spend the night at the clinic. Living far from the clinic, leaving in the evening only to have go back early the next morning was what sold me. It ended up being the best decision I could have made and was worth every penny!
So, after I paid the balance, it was off to the real clinic down the hall.I met with the nurse, filled out all the form and questionnaires, I then met with the anesthesiologist.( LADIES, be sure to mention if you have an intolerance or allergy to latex. Most tapes have latex. I made sure to mention this. I can not use many types of band aids, I get blisters from prolonged exposure to latex ) Next step, off to get changed into my stylish hospital gown, slippers and bath robe. I am taken to the waiting room, we are three ladies. Oddly enough the atmosphere is calm. One lady is resting with a pillow under head and the other is chatting with someone on the phone. We are called one by one, I am the last to go. It is Dr Beauregard himself who comes to meet me and takes me the pre op exam room. He inquires if I have any qualms or apprehensions, answers my questions and draws the lines of his upcoming masterpiece. Once this is completed, his assistant fetches me and we walk to the O.R.Everything seems so surreal, I am still not quite convinced that this is REALLY going to happen.I walk into the O.R. and freeze...in the movies the O.Rs are closed off rooms; this one has windows facing all of Montréal and the passerby's traveling on the Champlain Bridge! Dr. Beauregard's staff are all there prepping the for the surgery. I am told to lay down on the bed. We crack a few jokes as they explain the procedure to being put under. I am hooked up to an IV and before I know it things are becoming slow and "tingly"....
....fuzzy sounds, blurry lights, recognizable voices and clear lights are the first things I recall coming out of the anesthesia. Like a slow and steady climb back to reality; like waking from a deep and restful sleep.
I open my eyes and surprisingly, there is NO PAIN!...
I open my eyes and surprisingly, there is NO PAIN! There IS a pressure, like a load of bricks on my chest, but no pain! This victory of sorts is short lived when (silly me) I try to get up! To anyone who has trained at high level weather it be weightlifting, swimming, running etc...you know this pain. It is a muscular pain, not unbearable yet it is a pain you remember and fear!
The nurses are quick to respond and ask all sorts of questions.I was lucky, I did not feel sick,not in any agony, just thirsty! To be perfectly honest the next couple of hours(? time had no meaning at this point) were a blur, in and out of sleep; I was still quite loopy. I felt seriously doped up and knew that I was. I was aware of the phone call they placed to my man letting him know that I was awake and able to receive visitors. By this time it was 4:30pm and I was one hour post op. Oddly enough when trying to move, my left side hurt much less than the right; I had greater range of motion in my left arm!
After my hubby stopped by and left, the nurses were wanting me to get up and have my first pee; this I was not ready for! ( AND THIS IS WHY I AM GLAD I SPENT THE NIGHT) I have a very slow heart beat (38-44 when resting) and low blood pressure.
During surgery they actually had to spike my heart rate to 90 BPM. So here I am, a 5'9 , 145lbs lady with 2 tiny little nurses, well into their 50's getting up from my bed to be placed in a wheel chair so I can make the tiny trip to the loo. Only I DO NOT make it. As I sit in the wheel chair, I can feel it happening, that feeling of fading out and the panic of not wanting to pass out. Needless to say the next thing I remember is the someone is slapping my face and that I am becoming increasingly annoyed because I just want to sleep, only to realize that this tiny little nurse has me upside down in the wheel chair that she holding by herself! I had indeed passed out due to my low heart beat and blood pressure. This would have occurred weather I had spent the night or not; I can not stress enough how great full I am to the series of events that lead me to the choice of spending the night.
Moving along, it is now close to 10 pm.Still no pain, just pressure. By this time it had been a good 6 hours since my last dose of pain meds and I was ready for more. I was given a shot of morphine and was able to pass the night without the need for more.It was one of the most restful sleeps I can ever recall. I would drift in and out of sleep for what seemed like and endless night. : ) By 6 am the nurses came back to wake me up and give my next dose of meds, which I was more than welcome to accept! Getting up was less of an ordeal, again however, my left side was much more mobile than the right. I was fitted for my new bbf for the next two weeks; my post op bra! Once my hubby was there, they sent us on our merry way.
The ride home was uneventful.I actually felt normal; aside from the fact that I felt like my breasts were at 40 weeks gestation and ready to deliver. For me that is what it feels like! I feel like I am walking around with pregnant boobies! I keep on rubbing them the way a pregnant woman rubs her belly!
I picked up my meds - Celebrex and Hydromorphone and off to home it was. HOME...a four letter word when you have 3 dogs and 2 cats; especially when one of the dogs is a Yorkie that is more closely attached to me than my own shadow! The dogs were dogs and bounced about overjoyed upon my return as queen of the castle( I am the one who feeds them ; )...).
Once home, the relief sets in. I have made it, I am HOME! First thing I do? My hair and make up. Next on the list, some light cleaning, and then some rest. Curiously, I feel no different than the day before the surgery, apart from the swollen bags on my chest; but all in all that is it! I can move around, fix supper, wash dishes.... The meds I take only as a precaution. Last night I took my dose at midnight. I woke up at 7:30, no pain, just pressure.
I just took my first shower,with my hubby's help of course; which proved to be quite entertaining! : )
I am happy to report that I still have sensitivity in my nipples ( I was afraid of loosing it due to the op). I am apprehensive in regards to the size of my chest. I had a lift with augmentation of 300cc's, I know they are still swollen...so I will just have to heal and be patient!
Cheers and until tomorrow!
Hard to believe that 72 hours ago I was still at...
Hard to believe that 72 hours ago I was still at home, scrambling to get the dogs walked and those last minute minute details taken care of.
So here I am day 3. Swelling has substantially diminished, although I am still swollen. The circumference of the pressure has receded as well. It as though my breasts are no longer at 40 weeks gestation, they are now down to 36 weeks. My skin longer that lustrous stretched out sheen to it.
Day 3 did bring on a new sensation; ITCHINESS! Not unbearable...yet. I had read about this in other women's reviews and was expecting this, just not so soon.
My exiled basement life is leaving me restless and rested. My daughter said I looked 30 again : )
Tomorrow first day back to normality. An appointment at the garage to get my winter tires on and then a small day at work...
It has been 4 days since I last ran...Wednesday...
It has been 4 days since I last ran...Wednesday night a small 10 k. Going stir crazy here!
Just finished a small series of squats, pliés, lunges and butt lifts. Feel much less "slothy". Nothing too tasking, all lower body : )
The following posts' intentions are purely...
The following posts' intentions are purely educational; the point of this site( after all ) is to be informative and share our personal adventures through out our trek of self improvement...so here goes.... : )
CONSTIPATION.. There is no way around it...a foul byproduct associated with the pain meds necessary in the recovery process post op.
I read the other post op posts. I Goggled the side effects for my pain meds; I was fully aware of this awkward, annoying, irritating side effect. I had managed to elude this spinoff for the first two days, but as chance would have it, my luck ran out. It seems that the magnitude of dried figs, dark greens, pro biotic yogurt and other roughage I had ingested were no match for THE MEDS!
So to recap, we have swelling of the chest and now swelling of the abdomen..ugh!
Tastes awful but it works
Castor oil has a compound that when digested stimulates the small and large intestines. Swallow one to two teaspoons quickly on an empty stomach and give it eight hours to work its magic. Tastes nasty but it works! Works so well that I deserved a GOLD STAR for the BM my body surrendered a few hours after consumption. And a positive side bar...I have an appetite again!
For some this might borderline on the subject of TMI...but as stated above, this was intended to help...
Day 4...BACK TO REALITY...
Day 4, not only is...
Day 4...BACK TO REALITY...
Day 4, not only is day 4 my first day back to reality, my first 24 hours free of pain meds, first day back into real clothes…day 4 is a MONDAY (yay).*SIGH*
The day started off like any other Monday, apart from the fact that this is my first Monday with my Siamese twins. I have been off of the pain meds since Sunday morning and managed a good night’s sleep regardless; I even succeeded in sleeping on my side and survived! The swelling has gone down some, the itching is stable and the bruising is making its debut! ; )
I am feeling restless; anxious to get back into the swing of things. After 3 days of endless time (a sensation I have not experienced in years); I am set to be constructive. I work from home for a while but find it impossible to be productive and decide to go to work for a quick stint.
Driving to work proved to be a peculiar sensation. Imagine a life vest filled with 5 lbs. weights strapped to your chest as you drive; you have full control amid limited mobility.
November in Québec is a grey month. Cold. The beauty of fall has been blown away by the harsh winds. Residents prepare mentally for the ravages of winter, which can literally arrive at a moment’s notice. Today was no such day! Sunny and 17°C a runner’s paradise… and there were runners EVERYWHERE! ARGHH! Today I experienced for the first time… regret…the most arduous part to date is not being able to run!
Arrived at work, satisfied all the questions my fellow coworkers had and even stunned a few who were unaware of my operation.
In my area we have a wooded park with trails. If I could not run, I was determined to walk! At 2 pm my man and I set off on the 4 km trail…at 2:15 pm I had had enough. It is complex this recovery phenomenon! When doing nothing I fell invincible; upon tackling the simplest of activities I feel vulnerable.
Consequently, I have retreated back to my exiled life with a new found tolerance. An appreciation of the inclined position I so stubbornly refused to concede to!
Day 5... A COLORFUL DAY...
Is it possible to...
Day 5... A COLORFUL DAY...
Is it possible to actually sense bruises materializing? Last night I knew more pain than I had on any of the previous days; I actually got up to take some pain meds.
Hard to imagine that at this time...
Hard to imagine that at this time last week I was apologizing in advance to the girls for the torture I was about to have them undergo.
Day 6 has brought on no new bruising. The color has gone from the yellowish brown to intense shades of purplish-blue with hues of scarlet. The swelling on the left is down more so than on the right, unexpected considering the left underwent more trauma than the right; they removed a golf ball sized amount from the left to balance out the two sides.
Today, for the first time since the operation my breasts feel less FOREIGN…more a part of me. I appreciate that I still have a long ways to go, but it is comforting knowing that a more natural feeling is on the horizon.
A week ago today, I was just surfacing out of...
A week ago today, I was just surfacing out of anesthesia; not quite knowing what the future had in store recovery wise.
Luckily, I have had a more than ideal recovery. This site has been a godsend, lessening the doubt, anxiety or concerns I had in regards to my heeling.
I would like to thank all of those who took a moment to write down their personal experiences and who were gutsy enough to post their pictures; especially the Pre Op ones! Your countless words helped calm doubtful thoughts in regards to my surgery, both pre op jitters and post op fears!
In keeping with tradition to this site, I have a few more words to write in respects to this procedure.
Never in my wildest dreams could I have hoped that recovery would be so kind. I was NOT prepared for a certain side effect though…
In a breast lift, we all know of the nipple detachment from its original skin. So, naturally, I was concerned as to whether or not the sensitivity would remain unaffected. Brief, it was not equal as to before the surgery…it is significantly superior! I am walking around on constant “alert”! LOL! The last time my nipples were this hypersensitive, I was breast feeding…
Therefore, to sum up the first week post op we have; colossal pressure, then substantial pressure to just systematic pressure (same goes for the swelling). There is constipation. There is bruising. There is boredom, back aches from sleeping in an odd and peculiar position and there is healing. : )
Feeling slightly TOO well; I keep on forgetting...
Feeling slightly TOO well; I keep on forgetting the surgery I underwent a week ago...move too fast, stretch too far ..pull a stitch or two...: (
Day 9 post op;
Recovery is going well....
Day 9 post op;
Recovery is going well.
Withstood a drive out to the West Island (and back home again) yesterday; from start to finish, 4 hours behind the wheel. Tolerated it well, yet was far from comfortable… peculiar sensation.
The girls are a great deal less swollen. They have even begun to “jiggle” slightly. : )
My nipples however… they seem to have a mind of their own, always wanting to be the center of attention! I am attempting to ignore them. ; )
If patience is a virtue, and an antonym for virtue...
If patience is a virtue, and an antonym for virtue is sinful…than I am one wicked woman! ; )
I am more than eager for the swelling to take off and be gone indefinitely!
15 days post op… wow; time flies (despite the lack of fun)! The twins are doing fairly well; although the Right twin has been extra finicky and less laid back then her twin, the Left side. She’s always monopolizing my attention ; )
All clowning aside, the lone complaints I have; the support bra is not THAT fabulous and a slight achiness in the breasts from time to time.
I had my strips taken off this morning … I was amazed at how little scarring there was; I was expecting stitches, blood and lord knows what! As it happens, there were no stitches to be removed …just the strips. My next visit with my PS will be in May. I am elated with my entire journey thus far…I find myself repeating over and over ….WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG TO DO THIS?!!
Three weeks already…and…I am at a loss of...
Three weeks already…and…I am at a loss of words. Week 2 through week 3 has been a blur…back to work right where I left off!
Week 2; Friday the 23rd of Nov. strips taken off and immediately embarked upon 2 full 12 hour shifts…which involved too much manipulation of my body parts; the mental was far superior to the physical and the physical paid the price. Ultimately, it was impossible to ignore the increasing discomfort growing in the right breast…I had over done it (being a righty, the right side bore the brunt of the abuse); the incision was never allotted the proper time required for optimal mending. Long story short, the incision below the right nipple was giving me some grief, not “scabbing” over as well as the left side; slight bleeding and discharge. Called the clinic, sent photos (live far from the office) and was told to concoct a 1 TBPS bleach/ 1L (boiled) H20 mixture, to take a Q tip and dab the potion on the troublesome incision…it was very effective; the opening scabbed over. I have taken to blow-drying (on low) my breasts after I shower to prevent a repeat.
All in all recovery is lengthier than I had anticipated. Oh well… : )
5 weeks since my last run...I am so psyched! 10 km...
5 weeks since my last run...I am so psyched! 10 km on the agenda!
Well first run over and done with.Fastened the...
Well first run over and done with.Fastened the girls down with an ace bandage and topped that off with a sports bra. There was minimal shifting and slight discomfort for the first 5 km...then smooth sailing for the last 7km. I was tremendously impatient and exceedingly anxious in regards to the "first run"; did I go too big, will I run at the same pace etc...all my fears were put to rest, after 5 weeks (to the day) off I was still able to run (4:24 pace) and no, the girls are not too substantial or weighty...they are in fact just right! : )
My how time flies; I guess I’ve been having fun...
20 Jan 2013
2 months post
My how time flies; I guess I’ve been having fun ; )
Thursday will commemorate my 11th week Post Op & to be perfectly frank, I had envisioned recovery would demand a lesser amount of time…it seems my body had its own tempo for recuperation; one that did not quite adhere to my minds timetable…it seemed to defy & taunt it! ; )
George Orwell had it right; “Ignorance is bliss”! Or in my case Ignorance accompanied by Indifference (Adiaphoria in Greek …hence my nick) is a fool’s paradise! (a synonym for fool is boob…hihi)
What a rollercoaster ride it has been; emotionally, mentally, physically. Every tangent of this process has been travelled; euphoria, panic, unease, guilt, pride… I was completely blindsided! In my mind’s eye it would take but a few weeks and I would be as good as new, back to the old me; simply with superior breasts!
Mondors Cords, Capsular Contractions, keloid scars… altogether unacquainted with these rumours; only to be acquainted too well.
Between the 4th and 6th weeks of recovery I developed Mondors Cords. Although harmless, none the less freakishly bizarre; I feared the PS had (by some odd reason) botched my surgery somehow. Only once they were gone did I discover what they had been!
Keloid scarring. Having undergone a breast lift with augmentation, scarring is somewhat more of a concern (understandably). An innocent Dr.’s routine check-up with my family Doctor (4 weeks post op) triggered my concern. She (obviously) questioned if there had been any recent changes…long story less long; she loved the results, only to point out that I should not be concerned with Keloid scarring. This in turn occasioned my awareness of this side effect. I feared the folds of skin at the vertical & horizontal meeting point would produce Keloids. As of the 22nd of December, I have been nursing my incisions with Cica Care Gel silicone sheets and Dermatix scar gel…so far so good. The sheets are easy manipulate, the gel fast drying and non-greasy.
As for capsular contraptions, the more I read, the further I stress. Only time will tell.
Since day 1, my left girl has been well behaved & my right side always in need of attention. I have been one with my left side since week 5. I am on the verge of 11 weeks post op and “righty” is still giving me morning boob, afternoon boob and the occasional evening boob! She is insistent & self-centred! Still waiting for her to drop and fluff…
Work out wise, I have been back in full swing since week 6 and 7. As of today, the only limitation I feel is the prudence needed when doing peck work outs.
For those who have undergone a lift and were avid exercise junkies…my first grasp of my new reality(breasts) came when I put on my work out top with bra(incorporated)…It by sheer force of habit that I reached in to “place” the girls; only to realize…THEY WERE ALREADY WHERE THEY SHOULD BE! : )
In another strange twist of fate, the bra I wore to surgery still fits! I am a 34-36C depending on the style of bra…my old running sports bra which used to leave me with chaffing sores fits like a dream!
So all in all, I regret nothing…aside from the fact …THAT I WAITED SO LONG TO DO THIS!
One thing I neglected to mention was the...
20 Jan 2013
2 months post
One thing I neglected to mention was the ITCHINESS!!! Good Lord, the itchiness...at week 5 I had scratched my nips raw! Today at week 10, I am still experiencing the "itch" only now coupled with dry nips!
Went bikini shopping yesterday; first time since...
26 Jan 2013
2 months post
Went bikini shopping yesterday; first time since 1997 that I have not collapsed into sobbing mess in the fitting room!
For years I have would literally go to pieces with the mere thought of bikini shopping; having to meticulously go through the models, trying to find one that would camouflage my tattered breasts. Well, those days are gone…I was like a 2 year old in a toy store, running around touching everything & wanting everything! “String bikini” was a forbidden word, something I would enviously watch other girls wear! Well, say goodbye to bitter envy and hello happiness : )
The high I feel , the liking what I look like, it is addictive. My only concern; I may have opened the “Pandora’s Box” of cosmetic surgery. A mini T&T, eye lift, mine face or brow lift…but those are another review ; )