45 Years Old and Free from 17year Silicone Prison

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Well, where to start! Had silicone overs put in in...

Well, where to start! Had silicone overs put in in 1998. Loved them to start with but noticed them get 'firm' after only six weeks. Didn't know any better so thought that was how they were supposed to be! Anyway, two children and fifteen years later they were ridiculously hard. I am talking Barbie boobs here! After feeling a friends newly done boobs I realised how hard mine were and thought I had best get them checked out so found a ps and asked him if they were ok. He was amazed at how hard they were and recommended a revision, which took place dec 2013. Went from overs to 330cc unders. What a traumatic recovery that was!! Anyway, never really took to them and in Dec 2014 came across this site. On reading stories, realised with horror that all my little health niggles. Reynauds, insomnia, exhaustion, dry eyes, night sweats, constant colds and viruses etc could be down to my implants! These things had crept up on me over the years and I had never connected them! Decided to explant and found wonderful surgeon in Hull. Now 5 days post explant and feeling better than have felt in years. Boobs are sad and deflated but know I have absolutely done the right thing.

Dressing change today!

Well, been for dressing change today and wounds are doing ok. However, now realise dressing was acting like a little hammock for my boobs and helping the poor thinks defy gravity a bit. Now that has gone they are like little envelope flaps on my chest. LOL. Proper middle aged lady boobs!!!

First night out!!

So, last night was my first night out (no drinking tho) with friends since explant. Some of my friends are much younger than I am (mid thirties) so getting ready is always traumatic. Have to say tho that the usual 'I've got nothing to wear' angst was significantly enhanced with the realisation that little sore flat boobies were not going to be happy encased in padded/ push up bras yet. For the first time since op I have to confess that I did shed a tear or two of frustration. Thankfully, big hugs from DH, a comfy soft bra and a killer denim jacket eventually managed to help me feel good enough to hit the town. So glad I did as knew that this was going to be one of the biggest hurdles, and it was fine! One of my friends (male) told me to look around the room and asked me what I saw. I said "boobs! Everywhere!" He laughed and asked if I was joking. I said "no". He told me to look again as there were women of all shapes and sizes dancing and enjoying themselves. He said that if you wanted you could stand and pick fault with or envy something about absolutely everyone in the room but that in reality nobody does that at all. Folk just see a person and really haven't got time or inclination to check out every physical detail of each other. He said that we are our own harshest critics and agonise over small physical things that no-one else even notices, and I saw that he was right!! Bless him! So long as the body is happy and healthy and enjoying life that should be what matters. Anyway managed to have a good time and came home to make Easter preparations for my beautiful children. Happy Easter to you all!!

12 days post op

Tomorrow I am going to see PS for post op visit so thought would upload photo before dressings are changed again. Boobs generally feel ok but do get odd twinges of pain and discomfort. Probably eating more pain killers now than last week, but still only two or three a day. Still taking care not to lift much and steer clear of hoovering, which is KILLING me. The house is a tip!!! Wishing the bruise on my chest would clear as have it in my head that once that goes I will be well on the way to healing. Not being able to exercise is hard so have been walking every day. Up to four miles now. Kinda figure that circulating blood might help healing process. Ever since op have had an unquenchable desire for chocolate and who am I to refuse what my body desires!!!???!!! Interestingly, have not had dry eyes once since op and breathing is improving slowly. Need inhalers a bit less. Sleeping better too!!! Hope it continues. Thinking of all you ladies going through explant and healing and sending hugs. Xx

Two weeks post explant

The time has gone so quickly. Things appear to be going ok. Had dressings removed by PS who appears pleased with how things are progressing. Went shopping for underwear yesterday, which was a bad idea! Nothing of any size fitted and I ended up in pain because of all the arm movements associated with dressing and undressing so many times. Spent an inordinate amount of money on some designer jeans as figured had best make the most of the assets I do have ie legs and bum!!! Really fancy some laboutin shoes to go with them but will have to wait for those!!! Have got another social event tonight with friends who have huge implants. Don't quite know what I will say about explant. Don't want to worry her about health risks etc associated with them. Guess will cross that bridge when I get to it!!!

First day back at work.

Was absolutely dreading this as was fully expecting someone to say 'Wow! Where did your boobs go over Easter?". Honestly don't think anyone has noticed as yet, although I did catch one small boy having a sneaky look!! Did wear a blousy top and walked more upright to stick out what little I have, but even so, nowhere near the 32E I was sporting two weeks ago!!! Will continue with the voluminous clothing until full confidence is regained and can wear a padded bra with comfort!
First day driving too. Hmmm…..did ok but after driving to and from work, the thought of driving anymore filled me with horror! Am now sitting in the rosy glow of the effects of paracetamol so feeling better. Guess will have to build up the driving over the course of the next week or so. Poor husband having to take both my girls dancing to a town 15 miles away, twice tonight. Bless him! Hope you are all doing ok on your journeys. Healing hugs to you all xx

3 weeks post op.

Scary stuff! Having been rid of those dreadful toxic bags for three weeks I now realise how badly they effected me for so long!! The daily exhaustion that I thought was due to motherhood, middle age and a full time job has gone! The feeling of watching the world rather than being part of it, has gone. The ability to fend off illness has returned. The ability to sleep and wake feeling refreshed has returned. The ability to be productive and creative at work has returned. In short, the ability to function as a human has returned. The scary thing is that I hadn't realised that I had lost all this, until it started to come back. The effect of implants creeps up on you so stealthily you may not even realise their effect. I hear of women wanting implants now and want to scream at them to think again. Why do we do this to the bodies we are given?? Boob wise I'm not certain much is changing but I really dont care! I lost the person that I was for 17 years due to a ridiculous obsession about a small part of my body. The last three weeks has shown me that the rest of the world doesn't care about my boobs, so why have I invested so much time, money and angst over them? What a fool!!! I feel as though my spirit and soul has returned. Good luck to all you fabulous ladies out there. Be strong and stand up for your health and well being. Because at the end of the day, that, and those that truly love us is what matters. Xx.

4 weeks silicone free!

This week I have seen some real healing happen. Boobs haven't changed much in overall appearance but are definitely beginning to feel less mushy and the bruise that had plagued me since op is now nearly gone!! Yay!! This has been the week that I have regained almost full arm movement. Still a bit tender when stretching upward but definitely nearly there. It is also the week where I have had no need for pain relief. My poor liver can now rest! This week too I discovered coconut oil. Absolutely brill for moisturising and filling out the wrinkly skin on my poor deflated boobies. Only a temporary wrinkle free zone but feel better for it. Still not hoovering as pecs don't feel ready for that yet, and DH is doing such a good job it would be a shame to stop him too soon!!!! He still hasn't seen my deflated balloons in the flesh. Could do with a bit more skin tightening before I reveal myself in all my middle aged glory. That, or a few glasses of wine. Wonder which will come first?!?! Hoping that you are all as well and as happy as circumstances allow. Now, where's that wine????

5 Weeks!!

This week has perhaps been the trickiest yet. Up until now have been Soooo happy with poor deflated boobs. What I don't think I realised is that, despite thinking otherwise, even deflated as they were, they were swollen!!!! This week they have deflated even more and the moments of 'this is looking hopeful' have been far outweighed by moments of 'oh'. Luckily, silicone chicken fillets arrived last night that, once put in bra boost boobs by three sizes. Couldn't wait to try them out. They were so realistic and felt just like real boobs. No one would ever know they weren't all me!! And then I looked in the mirror. Now used to my own tinies I saw how ridiculously top heavy and matronly just the extra three cup sizes made me. They looked so daft that there and then I took them out and appreciated my own deflated tinies even more. All was not lost as the false silicone breasts caused hours of hilarious entertainment for my youngest daughter!!! Another lesson learnt.....silicone is far better for you externally!!!!!


Six weeks!!

Oh my goodness!!! They were STILL swollen!!! LOL!!!! Swelling has reduced further and itty bitty sate now tiny Tweenies!! Wine worked though girls! Little tiny flatties were introduced to hubby this week. His response was that they weren't bad and were better than he had been prepared for. I asked him what he was expecting to which he replied 'Frankenstein stitches and all folded over and stuff'. It makes me laugh as I type!!! Found a picture of before explant. Gosh! They were huge!!! I didn't really realise! I thought I would include it here, along with my latest picture so that you can see the miracle of skin retraction. I hope that I have some improvements to come but am just grateful I haven't got stretch marks. Happy healing to you all. Xx


Ok! So, not much change in appearance this week. Think swelling has definitely all gone now and I can actually see where tissue was removed during capsulectomy. When I lift my arms up my right flatty has a big old crater where it should be at its fullest. Funny really cos when I opted for overs I thought it would be less intrusive. All it did was eat into my own breast tissue resulting in it having to be removed. Had I left well alone and never had implants, I'd probably have a right pair of hooters at this point in life! Bugger!!!! Anyway, started exercising this week; a couple of extremely moderated P90X sessions. Now look at Dreyer Webbers chest with envy! How times change!!! Taking it VERY steady as have read about a few girls on here getting seromas at 3months. Last scabs have fallen off my incision sites so very relieved at that. Still hoping that I will wake up one morning and be a 32d but thinking it's looking unlikely!!! Doh!!! Happy boob recovery to you all. Xx

8 weeks!

Well! I have to confess that I don't know how this chest will play out! Could be my imagination but they seem to be different every day, then when I look at pics they haven't really changed at all! One day I am excited and hopeful that things will turn out ok and the next I think that this is probably it! Tried bra shopping again. Still a big mistake which resulted in my first proper big sob about my boobs. How can I not even fill a 34AA??!!!! Still, things could be ALOT worse. Am now fine strutting around the house in the altogether and trying different poses to see which make boobs look bigger!! Happy days!

10 weeks today!

This last fortnight has been busy! Had last appointment with ps on Monday so am now officially well on the way to being healed. Had an internal suture work its way out too but it was nothing too dramatic. I don't think boobs have changed much at all but hubby says he thinks they get better every day. Think in reality he just gets a little more used to them every day!! He does like how they feel though!!!!!!LOL!!! Can't believe that they are still tender. Only very careful handling allowed! Happy healing to you all.

11 weeks on and feeling fab and feisty!!!

I posted this on someones post this week, and thought I would share it with everyone. Hopefully it will help put things into perspective for all this who have gone through explant and are considering implanting again.
I told my husband that plastic surgeons were going to bring out silicon implants for testicles. I told him that it would be amazing for him to have 330ccs of silicone in each one! It wouldn't matter if he couldn't walk properly because I would find it Sooooo attractive to look at. It wouldn't matter if it made him ill and caused him pain because I would find it soooooo attractive to look at. In fact, all womens mags would have pics on the front with partially clad men on the front with HUGE oversized bollocks because we found it Soooo attractive. Funnily enough he said he wouldn't like it at all!!! Who knew!!!!????? ps I don't think I would find huge bollocks attractive at all…..but I think I made my point!!!!

13 weeks post implant removal

Yay! 3 months of freedom today!! My chest honestly couldn't be flatter and I couldn't be happier. I honestly feel like a survivor, I feel like someone who went through something and came out the other side, timid at first but more self confident each day. Yes, of course it would be great to have a full some bosom, but my little pancakes are mine, they're ok and when I look at them I feel as though they are medals of valour pinned to my chest.
The great thing about explanted breasts is that they keep improving whereas implanted breasts and the tissue around them only deteriorate from the moment they are in. My advice to anyone considering implants?Don't ever do it!! Make sure you learn to love and appreciate yourself as that is the number 1 most important thing in life. Once you can do that, the decisions you make are so much better. If a Wonderbra can finally give me the booby jiggle I have always wanted, it can do it for absolutely everyone!!! Happy boobies to you all. Xxx


15 weeks post explant

The time is flying by. I can't believe it is nearly four months since removal. Skin has felt saggy and baggy this week for some reason but boobs themselves feel a bit firmer and seem to have more substance to them. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh! When I had this done I thought at this point things wouldn't change much, but change is still happening. Fitting bras a bit better now which is a lot of progress. Keep dashing into stores to try stuff on as can't quite believe I fit anything!! Still experimenting with sizes but appear to be around uk32c. Balcony bras are better at the mo. Will keep trying!! Hope everyone out there is doing ok. Sending hugs Xxx

17 weeks

Well nearly four months gone. Small changes still happening. Lumpy bumpiness appears to be evening out and stretched skin isn't quite so wrinkly. Those who have explanted and are unhappy at three months should wait until at least 6 months IMO as things are not done altering. Another couple of interesting changes physiologically too, but going to wait a while longer before I make any claims. Sending hugs to all explanted. Xxxx

19 weeks.

Ok, so here I am on first holiday post explant. Really warm weather means bikinis and of course boobs everywhere! Two great things; this year is the first time since I can remember that I haven't worried about the 'she's had them done' comments that can happen round a poolside. Also, this time last year I couldn't do breast stroke in the pool because my silicone unders felt weird. This year I am back to a strong stroke and I love it! Boob wise, the little things can't seem to make up their mind! My flatty has perked up a bit whilst my perky one has flattened slightly!! Think they are confused what with the heat an all!!! Also using the break to tone up a bit so that might explain it. Anyway, so glad to be natural although flatter chest does mean I have to suck my belly in when I get off my sun lounger!!!! Gillian michaels DVD where are you?? Sending holiday hugs out to you all. Stay happy. X

6 months on.

Six months now since explant. Things still changing little by little. Firming up and projecting a bit more. Still need to moisturise skin. Still sleeping so much better. A solid eight hours each night and waking up fresh. Also, and bizarrly, my monthly cycle appears to have returned to something like regular! Before explant was missing several cycles a year, have now had six in six months!! Go figure!! Also, my asthma which is usually dreadful in July has been so much better. May have been a fluke, but definitely one that I'm happy about. Sending hugs to you all. Xx

One year on!

Well, here I am one year on from having silicone implants removed. Do I feel flat chested? Often. Have my boobs pinged back to what they were pre augmentation? No. Do I think things have finished healing? No. Am I happy? Ecstatic! I am still wrinkly, saggy and baggy at certain angles and still have to manage the poses my husband sees me in ......... But ...,.,,.miraculously the skin on my chest continues to improve. Each week it is slightly less wrinkly than the week before and the skin itself feels thicker and less stretched. This of course is a double edged sword because, as skin contracts and boobs firm up, they also appear to get smaller!! Don't think they do in reality, stuff just moves!! Currently a flat 30d seems to be where things are at. Did go through the usual sadness of bras riding up, and then realised I needed to go down a band size and up a cup size! Much better result!! Have symptoms of silicone poisoning improved? Definitely. Am I glad I did it? Absolutely. Would I re-implant? That would be a nope!!' Good luck to all you ladies out there. Love yourselves!!!

Two years on and last update

Well, here I am two years since having implants removed. Verdict? So worth it. I can say with certainty that my quality of life has been better over this last two years. I am able to work out better. I am fitter and far healthier. I was getting to the point where I was constantly suffering from colds and viruses. Have barely been ill at all since I had them out! My mind is infinitely sharper too. Husband says that he thinks I have returned to the girl he first fell in love with. In terms of physique, yup, still crinkly at times but hey, I'll take it as it is. Improvements definitely continued over the two years but not expecting any change now. I've learnt to love how i am and guess what? I've realised that I wasn't as flat chested as I thought I was. Just think, if all us small breasted women just owned it and accepted our bodies with pride, maybe our daughters and granddaughters would realise that in reality the world isn't full of buxom bosoms. Perhaps, just perhaps they would accept their natural beauty and be protected from thinking that they should pay good money to shove toxic waste into their chests! sending love and respect to all explanters. Xxx
Mr Riaz

Wonderful so far. Compassionate and professional.

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