So, here I am... Ready, hopeful, determined! Thank you all for sharing your stories! I have been on real self for 4 days straight just absorbing everything!
43 Years Old, 5'1", 215 Lbs. New year= New me! Houston, TX
My journey is just beginning for the second time....
So, here I am... Ready, hopeful, determined! Thank you all for sharing your stories! I have been on real self for 4 days straight just absorbing everything!
And the wait begins....
I am hoping that this is the right decision for me. After reading all that I have, I am afriad that this will fail like my band did because let's face it, it is still just restrictive just not adjustable. What if I fall back into old bad habits? What if it feels like there is no restriction like my band does? What if it doesn't work? What if I don't lose anything, or worse, only a few pounds? What if I wind up with bad reflux like some cases I've heard? I have so many fears and questions. The closer I get to setting a date, the more I feel like I am trying to talk myself out of it. I think maybe I need to start going to a support group beforehand to see about getting these burning questions answered. I am just venting here hoping for some reassurance while trying to keep my thoughts positive and not let fear control me. It really is the fear of the unknown....
So many people were super prepared and so well stocked up only to find out that they can't tolerate the stuff they used to before surgery and have to start over. I tried Isopure, fruit punch flavor, for the first time on Wednesday. That was interesting. When it first hits your tongue you think, hey, this is pretty good. Then all of a sudden, you think eww, not so much. Then you swallow and the aftertaste is terrible! I did drink almost the whole bottle and to my amazement, I wasn't really hungry for dinner. I also bought some unflavored protein powder thinking I can add it to my broth. I would never have guessed that broth only has 4 grams of protein in the whole can! I don't want to stock up too much yet I case I don't like anything right away. I found a pretty cool website where they will send you samples (of course, you have to pay for them) of any kind of protein powder they have. I am thinking I will order several flavors and brands for after surgery so I will be able to figure out what I like with my new taste buds :)
Is it just crazy to be so afraid of something but want it so bad all at the same time? I just want to run, to breathe easier, to cross my legs at the knee, to shop for non plus sized clothes, to not be embarrassed or judged by the way I look. I want to be healthy and eat to live not live to eat!
Feeling more positive today!
Still waiting for insurance approval to set the date. I need it to be close to the end of the year but I really would like it to be before the year is over! Haha, I'm not picky or anything. The Drs office did call insurance again today but it is still pending. Hopefully we will know by Friday.
Pre-op visit done!
Third day of my pre-op diet!
Day 6 pre-op
On my 14 day liquid: So far, so good still. I have been to 2 holiday parties and have really figured out my triggers! I like snacks! I love snacks! All the little treats set out around the tables, that's what I like. The chips and dips, the sweets, all of the bite sized yummies. I struggled a little at the first party. I kept looking at the deviled eggs thinking, I could have 1, it's all protein, it won't mess up my diet. I am so proud of me, I didn't have one! I did have a tiny (maybe 1/2 tsp) bite of pork tenderloin from hubby but that's all. The second party was harder. This was my family Christmas. I made most of the food and loved seeing everyone enjoy it. I did have about 1/2 of a slice of pork loin and omgsh, it was amazing! And 1 tiny bite of a rice Krispy treat :( but truly, that was it! When I woke up this morning, I was down another 1.5 lb. yay! I didn't mess it up! So far I have lost about four pounds. I want to eat something most of the day most days but my will power seems to be keeping me in check. I am praying for my life back. I want to feel good about me again. I want hubby to be proud to be with me again. I can do this, i know I can.
Tomorrow is the day!
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, I do believe that a big part of what got me through!!
Day 3 post-op
Total lost: 14
Day 4 post
I am feeling more comfortable where my incisions are and that's a plus! We took down all of our Christmas decorations today and that could be part of the yucky feeling. I may have overdone it a little.
Yesterday was a pretty rough day. I began to worry about my breathing because it really hurt in the shoulders and neck. I thought the gas can't last this long, I can't take a deep breath without lifting my arms and I am really hurting. I had hubby massage my shoulders and neck with sports cream. That didn't help. We went to a couple of stores and when we got home I got out my spirometer from the hospital and did it 10 times like they told me too. I didn't feel better but I did know at that point it's not my lungs. Still the gas!! I took some children's Tylenol (ugh! Gross! How did I ever give that stuff to my kids?!) and Omgsh! I forgot about my shoulders for a few minutes! I swear I could feel my whole staple line in my tummy! It burned! I started sipping as much water as quickly as I could to flush it out of there. Wow! That didn't feel good at all. It didn't last too long but, I'm thinking I'll suffer through whatever pain I have till I can swallow pills from now on. Then the shoulder/neck pain came back... So I used 2 gas-x strips and I really felt better. Yay! I'm telling you, I can handle the incisions and the soreness in the abdomen but the gas is bad. Anyone who is headed for surgery, make sure you get the gas-x strips! My doc said I wouldn't need them that walking would take care of it all. Well, I'm here to tell you, I've walked a lot but i needed the strips and they worked for me. Ok, enough with that! When I woke up this morning, I feel so much better!
I did better yesterday getting in protein. I was at 53g. Yay me! And I managed 32 oz of water! I feel like things are adjusting and that sure makes me happy.
I hope y'all have a blessed day!
Day 7 post
As of today,
I did start eating yogurt this week. I think maybe this is what is contributing to it. I eat 1 container of fat free Greek whipped. Yogurt didn't do well for me when dieting in the past, I always gained when I ate it. Starting yesterday, no more yogurt for this girl. We will see if that helps.
Any advice? Any thoughts? I am feeling super discouraged today....
Stalls. When our weight loss stalls, it is actually a metabolic reset. The way she explained it was: here we are at our highest weight. Our metabolism is essentially broken. When we (before surgery) lose weight, our body it always trying hard to get back to that place we were at our highest weight because our metabolism is sluggish and broken. That's why we tend to gain it back (and then some). It is super hard to get to that place without surgery to stay there, disappointed and hungry, to let the reset happen. Well, after surgery, when we lose and hit a stall, that's when the reset happens. The longer the stall, the more likely that is our new "highest weight". Then, we continue to do what we are supposed too, get in protein, water and low carbs, keep active then pretty soon, we begin to lose again till the next stall. Where we "reset" again! So, over the first 6 months, we will lose pretty fast but we have 18 months to get to that last reset. At that point, it becomes harder to lose as that final weight becomes the happy place for our new "thinner person" metabolism. Our metabolism is fixed back to being that fast working machine and burning the fuel we put in.
I hope I explained it all as well as she did today. It really turned me around to this stall business. Not that I want to stall for long, but I'm liking the part where it means my metabolism is revving up and getting stronger.
2 weeks 2 days post
I am still struggling to get in my protein as I can only eat about 1/4 cup of anything that's not liquid and I feel full for a long time. Yesterday I finally got in all my water!!! Yay me!!! I was very proud of that. On the flip side, I didn't get in near enough protein. Boo...
On Monday I ordered some MORE protein powder, a new one for me called genepro. I've heard the it's only like a tablespoon and mixes light and clear like benefiber. I am super excited to try it, I should have it when I get home today. The worst part is that there aren't any stores that sell it, you have to order from Amazon. I'll let ya know how it is. I have spent a small fortune on protein that I will never use :( Thankfully though, my kids like smoothies and I can add it to them. And 2 of the ones I have I can bake with. I have a peanut butter powder shake by quest that I loved before surgery. Now I just can't even get it close to my face, yuck! But, on the bright side, I can see some awesome peanut butter cookies coming right up! Won't my babies (11,11,14) love those for breakfast!
All in all, I am supposed to be on purée but doc said if it's really soft it's ok. I have been doing scrambled egg. I can only eat most of 1 egg. Cottage cheese, yogurt, and soup. I had oatmeal that was pretty soupy last night but that didn't sit very well. It just made me feel bad, at least it didn't come back up. So far, I've been so so so lucky, nothing has come back up yet. well, except right after surgery with the jello :(
Thank you again to all of you who've shared your stories with us here, all of the knowledge and advice has been invaluable in my experience. I am still learning so much, I am still reading so many of our post sleevers stories, always looking for something else to help me along in my journey.
GW: 135 (I think this fluctuates between 130 and 135 depending on the day)
Still trying to be positive :)
Ok, my rant/whining is over. I am going to breathe in and out now, make myself focus on the fact that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and know in my heart that this stall IS temporary. That this life changing surgery wasn't for nothing. I will succeed! I know I will. Everyone's body is different and mine wont respond like anyone else's. I am me. I am proud of me!
Just a friendly reminder as I leave the gym: sweat is fat crying as it dies!!
6.5 weeks post
Have an awesome Thursday y'all!
7 week update
Well, for the first time since surgery, I had a real hate time with "head hunger" yesterday. I had one of those days where nothing satisfies me. I even ate a Reese's peanut butter cup that had been looking at me since before Valentine's Day. I can say it wasn't very good, not like I remember at all. I don't know why but I didn't like anything yesterday. Today will be better! I got myself some new foods to try and I will be back on track!
I am grateful for my tool! If I hadn't had the sleeve, yesterday would have been so different. Without it, I would have eaten a lot of things trying to find what I was looking for. Yesterday, even though I had a Reese's and some triscuit crackers, that's really all I had that was bad. I was better by dinner time. I was still around 750 calories. My carbs were just too high. I know for certain that on a day like yesterday in my past it would have been a 2000 calorie day. Today, again, I am grateful for my tool.
8.5 weeks post
Loss to date 34 lbs!
So far I've been pretty good. Feeling like I'm still losing slower than most. After talking to a friend who also did a revision band to sleeve she helped me make sense of how my body is working. After having had the band, my body already had the shock weight loss. I've been eating smaller portions and mostly the "right" things for years now. (i.e.: almost no bread or soda for 9 years) Now, obviously, I wasn't eating right, really. My portions had grown and I was eating a lot of junk just because I liked it. I'd also started drinking sodas on occasion. I wasn't moving at all, I was just too tired because I was way too heavy and that made me sad. I lost 35 lbs before, gained that plus another 5-7 lbs. back. It will come off when it comes off. I am doing what I am supposed too. I am living for the first time in a long time! My friend really gives me inspiration as she is at her goal weight and maintaining. I average losing about 2 lbs per week. I love that!!! Better down than up at any rate, right??
Well, I'm off to the gym now! Happy Friday my RS family!
70 pounds GONE!!
I am 9 months out today and I'm down 70 lbs!! I am so very proud of myself.
My stats to date are:
CW: 148 (it feels very surreal to say that)
GW: 135 (yes! 9 months out and I am 13 pounds from GOAL!)
All of that said, I've been really really good! I do struggle, a lot, with the "slider foods". Crackers are my downfall for sure. I don't eat too many, and when I do eat them, I try to add some protein like ham or turkey. I've found that for me, when I don't eat carbs at all, I am tired and pretty grumpy. When I work out, I need more calories and carbs. I try to use those days for my "cheat" days when I allow myself the crackers.
I have really been tired lately. Probably the last 4/5 weeks. I'm not sure what's going on with me. I can't tell if it's depression or my vitamins. I did my 9 month blood work in September and everything looks really good. My triglycerides are the only thing that high. Yay me! So, I posted on my Facebook support group what I just told you and they recommended upping my calories/protein. I've had an extra protein shake every day for 4 days now and WOW! I really do feel better!
Now, I won't tell you that I ever "forget" to eat or that I'm never hungry, I am hungry, I don't forget to eat. That said, I am conscious of what I eat and that because I eat so little, what I put into my body has to count. But I'm still figuring out this new lifestyle. This is no easy road but it is definitely rewarding. The hard work put in really does show results! I love my new found freedom.
Almost 2 years!
I wanted to give an update for those of you who are like me and looking at each and every story wondering "where are they now?".
I'll start with the hard stuff.
Hair loss.... I probably lost about 50-60% of my hair starting at 4 months. That was hard. So so so hard. It didn't all fall out at once, it fell over a 4-5 month period. The regrowing has been a little weird. I have naturally curly hair so I feel like it looks even more scraggly than some. I had really long hair. It's just growing out again from a little longer than a chin length bob. All of the hairs are almost the same length again. I do notice that my hair grows better and faster when I take my vitamins and get enough protein. It really does make a difference.
Working out.... I don't do it much. I have come up with a few theories. Some of it may be rationalizing but they're my theories. After watching the biggest loser for so many years and reading all of the follow up stuff, I decided that I needed to lose weight before building muscle. I feel like if I lose the pounds first, I can tone and maybe build a little muscle on my new form instead of making my metabolism think I would always be that active so it doesn't have to work so hard. In short: if I work out too hard from the beginning, the metabolism that I am retraining will think we are going to be that active forever. Where if I try to lose the pounds first, the "new metabolism" will be trained to a more relaxed lifestyle. I was afraid that if I teach my body that we will always workout that I am tied to those hours in the gym forever and if I stop for a week or 6 that I will gain, or stop losing. I feel like if I lose pounds first, then tone I will not gain back. Like I said, just my theories/rationalizing. I have maintained my weight for at least 6 months now so I will start toning soon.
Depression.... this is something I've always struggled with anyway. I'm not sure if surgery has anything at all to do with depression but I most definitely have been down for a while. I am starting to feel better now. All of the cellular and bodily changes really affect the brain. I haven't turned to alcohol or any of the other crutches that some people pick up, instead, I turned inward. Just a lot of tired and sadness for me. Lack of desire, even with my new found ability to really move, to go or do anything. Like I said, it's getting better but I'd say that's been a rough part of this journey for me.
Wrinkles... uh! As is being over 40 isn't bad enough, deflate your overinflated skin and what do of get!? Wrinkles. All over wrinkles. Like a melted candle. If I am being really honest, and I ALWAYS am, I don't mind (I didn't say I like them) the body wrinkles. I can cover all of them up with clothes. Now, the face? Ehh, manageable. A time has gone by, my skin seems better. Maybe it's the products I use, maybe it's just time and my elasticity is returning to normal after being deflated. I really would like and need a tummy tuck. My apron is quite large. I don't have the money right now to do something like that so I will just be grateful that it hangs down and not sticks out any longer.
Eating: My diet these days is pretty easy. I eat just about anything I want. Thankfully, I don't "want" too many things that aren't in my allowed list. I have found I love canned chicken mixed with some seasoning and a little mayo. I will have a few triscuit crackers with it sometimes but mostly just stick with the chicken salad. I also like a low carb tortilla rolled up with a couple of slices of lunch meat and a slice of cheese. I can only eat about 1/2-3/4 of the roll in 1 sitting still (yay!). I still struggle with dairy. That makes me sad. It is so much harder to get in enough protein without diary. It is such a great go to meal/snack. I still love an egg for breakfast. Sometimes I put whatever veggies I have in the fridge in it, or leftover meat, scramble it up and there's breakfast. I love to snack on a few grapes, cubed cheese (I know this is dairy but doesn't other me much). Pork skins (no carbs!) any kind of roasted nuts, hard boiled egg and maybe a few m&ms from time to time. When I don't bring my lunch, it's easy to get a burger from the restaurant next door. I just order it with no bun and I can usually make 2 meals out of the 1 patty. I love pickles! I still need a supplement for my protein. More of then than not I have cold coffee over ice with non flavored creamer and genepro powder. No sugar. I still miss sugar, a lot. I try to stay away but this is real life and sometimes I slip. I've learned that that's ok, just can't stay there. I still have a really small stomach so I do pretty well with portions. I don't weigh or measure my food. I usually eat on a salad plate and almost always have a few bites left. Using the logic I've learned from all of the many and various diets I've been on I know the rules and I pretty well stick with them. Like I said, I am human, I slip, I get back up and start over. I NEVER, EVER, EVER want to be where I was 2 years ago again.
Vitamins... ok, they are really important. Everyone says so. Over and over and over again. What I've learned: my blood work levels are great! I really don't need any supplements according to my blood work. Even vitamin d which in almost unheard of. My b's go through the roof when I take vitamins. All of that said. I need the extra. My hair, skin and nails have suffered from not taking them like I should. When I take my multi, I feel better. I do gummies for everything. Omega 3, calcium and a multi. The dr made a great point. He said you won't know you needed calcium until you are 60 and break a hip. Wow! I went straight to the store and started calcium. Can't be breaking things, I am allergic to pain! Haha. Please take your vitamins!
On that note, I am late for work after this long winded update so I must go. Good luck to you!
Thank you hurricane Harvey! I got to my goal for a minute! Then, along come a hurricane. Stuck in the house for days, boredom and anxiety costume 5 pounds. That's all over now. I'm back to my routine, getting this 5 pounds off will be harder now because I'm further out but I WILL do it. It's so fast to come back with bad choices, emotions and boredom, I have to hold myself accountable each and every day
The staff at TLC in Houston are simply amazing! The support they offer before you ever walk in the door is part of what made me love this center. After meeting Dr. Yu, I knew for certain that this is where I was supposed to be. I can't say enough good things about my journey so far.