47 and Tired of my Sad Face - Houston, TX

recovery is pretty easy from the lower face/necklift. two weeks is good. you'll be happy. just know you will have incisions in front of and behind your ears. I was not prepared for how this would look. they are almost invisible now in front of my ears. I was swollen and mildly bruised but very tolerable. definitely do the general anaesthesia. No way would I do local for a facelift. And no mini lifts. they do not last as long. not worth it.

I know, the different types of procedures confuse me too. I was told he would not be tightening neck muscles; in other words, no incision under the chin.

Sorry, that was supposed to be a reply to hikemom. Hermit: the previous doctor I consulted typically did mini lifts with local anesthesia and valium. No thank you. I'd rather be knocked out.

How long did it take for the scars in front of your ears to be less noticeable? I have long hair, but am still wondering about this.

I'm at 4 weeks and went and asked my husband what he thought. (I can't easily see them myself). He says that he can see them faintly -- but he know exactly where they are. He said that someone glancing at me wouldn't likely notice them if I was wearing makeup to cover the faint bruising that I still have in front of my ears. I wear my hair in front of my ears so not an issue for me.

Me too. I can hide for about two weeks, tops, then I have to go back to work. I don't work in an environment where cosmetic surgery is commonplace, so I'll have to think of a good fib. Dental surgery? Allergic reaction?

It makes it easier that I am retired from full-time work, but I still wonder if it will be noticed at my part-time job. I have talked about getting "work done" as far as telling some people I had micro-needling, so if someone asks, I may say: "You know I've been working on my skin for some time!" and leave it at that. I have also used a "lift tape" a few times when around friends, and it gives a lifted look; that way when I come back, it won't seem as dramatic. I am hoping between the swelling and cutting my hair in a new style, it won't be so obvious!

I'm using oral surgery as my fib.

That's good to know. I'm not prone to vomiting for any reason, and I didn't get sick after my c-section spinals. I've never had general anesthesia with the breathing tube and everything, though. So this will be new. I guess anti nausea meds couldn't hurt.

They are good to have on hand just in case.

Dr. Etai Funk here in Houston. I loved his "bedside" manner and his staff is fantastic. He was very patient in his explanation of different procedures, although after talking to several doctors and doing a lot of reading up on this over the last few years there's not much I hadn't heard before. His approach made the most sense to me, too. Long lasting results without unnecessary procedures.

Thank you! Following you and your very positive outlook!

Thanks! He isn't doing any incisions under the chin. I'm not sure how high in the face he will really go, but he said the incisions will be in my hairline and start a little above my ears, go down and in front of my ears, plus a little bit behind them, I think. He said that would give me the best "anchor" for what needs to be done to get the correct lift. This is a deep plane and not just a SMAS lift or mini lift. I guess that will make it a little more difficult but hopefully the results will last longer. We will see!

that's what I had. It won't be high in the face for what you are doing. You don't want a mini lift, they really do not last. You'll like it. Just be prepared for the stitches. I was not prepared. they were inside my ears too. weird. but all turned out great. so will yours.

July 28. Thanks for sharing...I'm sure what you are going through is to be expected, especially only 48 hours post. Hang in there! I'll be curious to see how you like your results.

Thanks for the encouragement. I think worried husbands are not uncommon on these threads!

My husband wasn't very supportive, but he said that he never noticed my neck before I pointed it out to him. They all react differently, I think secretly they do worry that something might go wrong.

Thanks for your perspective. I appreciate your response. It's hard to capture the history of our discussions on this topic in one post, but I will say some of them did not go well. He has gotten to the point where he knows we will never agree on this, and his current position is "I don't want you to do it but you're going to anyway and there's nothing I can do about it." I know I can't change his feelings any more than he can change mine. I think he will like the results in the long run. I just wanted to see how others have handled a difference of opinion.

I bet he will come round. My husband helped me with day to day stuff because he knew I couldn't manage it. I'm pretty sure your husband will do the same. Good luck! I hope you look fab! If I had the money I sure would be doing my neck. Let him know how much you do appreciate his love and support even though he doesn't agree. Men like to feel needed, so let him know you need him. Thats what I did with mine. It helped.

That's good advice. I have let him know I'll need him and I love him no matter what we disagree on. I'm sure he will be fine. :)

My husband was the same, he didn't agree with me that I need surgery, but you just have to look at my before photo to see why I wanted to do it. My husband also didn't asked me how much it would cost, as I am very independent, we have been on separate finances ever since we got married 12 years ago, and I am paying it from my own money. I know some people think that is strange, but that's how it works for us, being our second marriage. He dropped me off and next day came to pick me up, he told me that I look terrible, which was just what I wanted to hear, but he is OK now. He recons as long as I don't do a breast reduction, he is happy with everything else :-) (I am a 38E). I was doing it for myself, I hated my photo taken, but it is all changed now. I am so happy that I went and did it. I think eventhough my husband wasn't too trilled with me having the operation, he can see now the difference and he agrees with me for doing it. I am sure your husband will be fine too once he sees the final result! :-)

I'm a 32B (barely), and considered breath augmentation a few years ago. He was ok with that, go figure. :)

Breast augmentation, not breath. Why can't I edit my comments???

Yes, it is annoying that we can't amend our own comments!! Most men are (not all, but most) boobs men, they don't mind if you get that done, but everything else is a waste of money and time according to them. My husband is OK with my operation now, but he wasn't the most considerate and complimentary when I first came home. It surprised me because he is normally full of compliment towards me, but ....... men......., who can work them out??

Thank you. I think his biggest thing was that he doesn't understand why I would want this in the first place. He grew up with family members who place a lot of importance on appearance, and that rubs him the wrong way. He associates cosmetic surgery with low self esteem and shallowness. He may be a little worried about complications but that doesn't seem to be his biggest concern.

I'm 20 years older than you with a much worse need and probably desire for the aging that caught up with me. I wasn't at all surprised when my husband was shocked when I told him what I was looking into - facelift. We seldom agree on how to spend money, so fortunately I began a job a few years ago (after 4 years of retirement) as an adjunct teacher at our local community college. That gave me the freedom and juxtapositions F I knew I would need to make the decision for myself because I had an extra source of income. I won't go into all the details, but when I told him I decided to go to Dr Harley in NC and we could make a vacation out of it for him and our two oldest grandsons, he quit being resistant. He's been very supportive. He loves me very much but sometimes I've had a difficult time figuring it out. Marriage is often a difficult Tango to manage, but as someone on another post commented, men just want to feel loved, appreciated and needed. And they want sex...LOL I have a feeling you guys are going to work it all out. Oh, one more thing: after the decision was sealed with a deposit, I asked my husband not to say anything negative about my upcoming procedures. He honored that request. I KNOW it was hard for him because he has always been the worrying kind. During our almost 44 years of marriage, we've definitely had our ups and downs, so he finally got the message that I meant what I said and he wasn't going to change my mind. That was a milestone for us!

I think you are right about everything. So far I have gotten him to agree not to say anything negative about this...in front of the kids. Baby steps.