Long bumpy road ahead...
Hi everyone! First of all, I am so glad I found...
Hi everyone! First of all, I am so glad I found this site! I have thought about breast reduction for several years. Between having kids and my mom's health problems, it is an idea that has been on the back burner for a while. It is so wonderful to have so many ladies who understand what I have went though and felt, and who are so selfless and willing to share their experiences! Thanks to you all!
My story is similar to many I have read on here. I am a 35 year old mother of 2 young children. I am 5'3" and 135 lbs with a 36DDD chest. I remember about 6th grade starting to "blossom" and given the long line of big boobed women on both sides of my family I was already dreading my future. By 8th grade, I was already a good size B and felt very uncomfortable with the stares and comments from my male classmates. By high school I was a nearly a full D and that's when the baggy t-shirts, oversized sweatshirts and anything else that could hide my size became my everyday wardrobe. By my mid 20's I had hoped I was through expanding, but the girls had other ideas and on to DDs it was. When I became pregnant with my son, they grew even more to a whopping 36DDD. Three years later while pregnant with my daughter, they ballooned to a 38G. Luckily, in the last 3 years they have shrank back to 36DDD, but, as you all well know, that is nothing to be happy about. My back hurts me constantly. My shoulders and neck hurt on a regular basis and I have migranes so bad at times that I can't even move my head because of the pain. It is hard to straighten my back if I bend over for too long and my posture is horrible. I am so tired of the pain and discomfort of lugging these puppies around! I would love to be comfortable in my own body for a change, both physically and mentally.
My misfortune was to marry a "breast man" and he is of the "the bigger the better" mindset. We have been married 8 years and he swears to this day that it was my eyes that first caught his attention, but he's not a very good liar! LOL I have mentioned on more than several occasions that I would feel so much better about myself and be in much less pain if I could drop a few cup sizes. He then breaks out his standard response of "There are lots of women who pay big bucks to have boobs like that. You should be proud of them!" I try to explain to him that the women who WANT big boobs haven't had to lug them around and do any type of physical activity with them either. Since finding this site and reading over the experiences of all the fantastic ladies here, I have made up my mind that I absolutely want this surgery! It is trying to bring my hubby on board that could put the breaks on this bye-bye booby train. Anyone else have problems with their significant others objecting? He hasn't gone as far as telling me no he doesn't want me to do it, but his not so subtle hints of disapproval have not gone unnoticed. I have been trying for days to sit him down and talk about it, but as soon as anything is said about how I'd like to have smaller breasts he either changes topics or shuts down all together. As much as I want this done I can't do it without his support, mainly because with a 7 year old and a 3 year old, I will have to have him on board and willing to help. I know my husband all too well, and this is the same man who would not even put a frozen pizza in the oven by himself while I was recovering from a c-section! Sadly, I think our 7 year old son is more self-sufficent! I am going to keep working on him and maybe he will see my side of things....even if I have to strap a couple of sandbags inside a bra and make him wear it all day! LOL
In the meantime, I have been researching plastic surgeons. I live in a very small town in a rual area, but luckily I have found a doctor with very high reviews from patients and over 30 years experience. His office is less than half an hour from where I live and he accepts my insurance. The hospital is the same one my mom had hip replacement surgery in and they are very good. Not to mention that I have a cousin who is a RN there and an aunt who worked as a nurse there for years and knows the place inside and out. Now just waiting to take the first step and make an appointment for a consult to see if insurance would cover at least most of the cost. I am hoping to do this sooner than later, so hopefully I will be able to continue my experience and share with others this journey to a happier me!
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I think the kids will be manageable. As long as you don't have to go out with them for the first week you should be fine. If they don't get baths for a few days, its no big deal. And I bet your son would love to help take care of you and be a big strong protector!! And your baby-girl will have a great time curled on the other end of the couch watching all of those Disney or Barbie movies that you don't usually have time to watch with her. You can do this!
Just found your post. I had my BR on June 11th. I knew my husband would not be on board, so I did all my research, found my PS, scheduled and PAID for my surgery, and told him on the Thursday before my surgery on the following Monday. In retrospect, that wasn't very fair of me, but I knew he would try to talk me out of it. I am older than you...just turned 50, and my daughter is in college, so I am in a different season of my life. I am so glad I had the surgery though, and only wish I had done it when I was your age. Good luck to you and keep us updated.
Oh my gosh, Wilson! How did your husband react? and what does he think of them now?
It has been a while since I posted my original...
Replies (8)
JC, I'm so sorry you are still battling your husband about this. I wish there was some way for these guys to "feel" what these breasts do to us and how they wear down your body. I am hopeful that you will find a surgeon you like and that you can get some measure of support from your family. This is a long road and I hate that thought of it being a battle for you. But if you know that this is what you need to do for you, then I'm thrilled that you are strong enough to stand up for yourself. Please keep us posted.
Wow....four months since my last update and,...
Here's the kicker! The PS I have chosen and feel the most comfortable with does not take insurance. After hearing how much insurance would require removed, I am not wanting to use insurance anyway. My husband has a decent job and we are very frugal with what we spend. We have enough in savings right now to cover the entire cost of the reduction without hurting our nest egg. Since my husband is against me having this done he has refused to pay for the procedure. I am a stay at home mom, so I have no income of my own to put towards my surgery fund. This is what frustrates me so. I could call tomorrow and start the process rolling to schedule the reduction, but without my hubby's okay to withdrawal the money to pay for it I am left with no real options. When I think about the whole situation I am not sure if I want to scream in anger or cry from dissapointment and sadness.
The way it is looking, without some miracle or a drastic change of heart from the hubby, my journey isn't going to get any smoother.
Wish this were easier, but without a miracle or a SERIOUS change of heart from my husband, it doesn't look like my journey is going to get any smoother.
Hi JC! Welcome!! First of all thanks for sharing your story. Secondly, I'm sorry that your husband isn't real supportive of this. Rather than making a bra, maybe you could strap a bowling ball around his waist and let it dangle between his legs and see how well he can manuver that! If your husband isn't willing to help would a close friend, sister/cousin, etc be willing to step in. After the first couple of days you should be relatively self-sufficient especially if you have some frozen meals planned and have the house prepared for your recovery. Of course you wouldn't want to cause a divorce or anything like that, but you do have to consider your happiness, as well as his. And a lifetime of pain for you just so he can look at your huge breasts really isn't worth it. Plus, at least for me, my breasts are much more sensitive than my large ones ever were, which makes me much more responsive to my husband, and being more self-confident certainly helps matters too. Aaaannndd...I'm still big breasted! I'm a DD, so just because you won't be obscenely huge, doesn't mean you are going to be ridiculously small either. Good luck! I will be thinking of you and hoping that you can get this all worked out. Please stay in touch!