Over 30, Breastfed 3 Kids, Boobs Are Sad - Hanover, NH

About a year ago after I stopped breastfeeding my third I started thinking about implants. My breasts have always been on the larger size but shrunk and sagged after my third. I was about a dd and now I would say I am a C but not a perky c, a saggy c with no "meat" in my breasts. I didn't even wear a bathing suit this summer because I can't find one that holds my breasts like they should. I'm really nervous because I have been reading about people getting sick after getting implants and having them removed. And also nervous about getting surgery and having to be out of commission with a toddler. It wouldn't be until next year. I have a consult in September. I really want them but I'm also super scared. :-/ So I guess I'm on the fence.

So I had my consult today. I am glad that I got more info but I was a little discouraged to find out that I need a lift as well as implants. I was hoping for avoid that. From what I can tell the debate is mixed about whether it is safe to do the lift and implants at the same time. My doctor said they don't recommend it but people have it done no problem. I don't think I could make two surgeries work- with recovery time and it is a lot more expensive. So I guess I am at a little bit of a crossroads.

She did say I was a small c currently which I was surprised about. I've always been a d or dd. I also have stage 3 sagging.

The doctor was very nice and I really did like her. That is a big plus. She took her time and didn't rush us or make us feel like we were keeping her from doing something else. I just wish there was a more cut and dry answer for what I should do.

I did the rice test and I'm currently thinking about 285 cc.

My surgery is scheduled for January 24. My doctor measured me again and said I could probably get away without a lift. Which I am thrilled about. I definitely could do a lift down the road if I didn't like the way they were. Now I need to decide what size I want which is the tricky part. I am scared of looking too big or fat in shirts. I weight about 135 and I've worked hard to get down to this point. My husband obv thinks I should go larger (300/325 cc) but I'm already a size C and I think 275/300 would be big enough and it's so hard to tell with the dozers.

Has anyone ever experienced severe anxiety about their procedure?? I am a little over a month away and I am freaking out a bit. I have anxiety anyway but I've never had any type of surgery and I'm worried about the risks and caring for my children. My husband is supposed to take over but I feel like the kids may need me and I won't be able to be there for them. Or what if something happens to me. Ugh, I am seriously considering canceling.

Can anyone tell me if they think 275/300 cc would be a good size for me? I don't want to be too large but really want to have them be fuller again. Lost a lot of "meat" after breastfeeding.

So I'm two weeks out (omg) and I have a lingering cough that has been keeping me up at night. Can I take anything for it? I know there is a lot you can't take in the two week period. I can't believe I will have new boobs in two weeks! Now I just need to decide on size.

These are the 350cc sizers and I feel like they look to big :-/ thoughts?

So I know you aren't supposed to eat before midnight the night before. I get really sick to my stomach if I don't eat. I'm worried that adding pain meds to that will make it much worse. Has anyone had similar issues?

I'm a day and a week out and I'm not feeling good about my procedure. I keep reading things about silicone leaking into women's systems and causing cancer and a host of other problems implants can cause. I have been wearing a padded push up bra from a long time ago and I'm liking the way they look, maybe I should just go back to doing that. I don't know, ugh!! I wish a lift wasn't more expensive and more cutting. I feel like I would be happy with a lift but I'm not really sure. I have a few more days to make a decision and get a full refund. I just don't know if I am doing this for the right reason. I feel like it's more for my husband than it is for me. And I get insecure and think he's always checking out girls with big boobs. Ugh. I'm so frustrated right now.

So I posted how yesterday I had a sudden anxiety attack about having the surgery. I had been fine until then and I just freaked out. I called and cancelled my appointment literally at the last possible minute I could have before losing out on a 10 percent fee.

Today I had a mammogram I had scheduled before I knew I was having surgery because I knew that I couldn't have one for a year after and it would also make it harder to see. I had found a lump last year.

The lump has changed (gotten bigger) and while they think it's nothing I need to go in and have a biopsy of that and a different lump. I would have had to cancel my surgery ANYWAY. I don't tend to completely agree that everything happens for a reason because I do think that most things are the result of had work and dedication- but in this case I almost feel like it was my body's way of saying you need to get this dealt with first.

I still might get implants down the road, I think I might go with Saline which I realize is not everyone's favorite but I really don't love the idea or not knowing I had a burst or having a MRI every few years. That's just me, I'm an anxious person and I worry a lot. I'm working on it. I would talk to my doctor to make sure that what I want wouldn't make me huge but would fill in my upper pole. I also need to talk to her to make sure this lump won't be pushed out with implants because it is able to be seen now from the naked eye. :-/

So, hopefully the results will be fine and I will go along my merry way and have surgery in a year or whenever all this is cleared up. But, I can tell you I'm feeling very happy I listened to my gut.

Feeling bummed out today. Surgery would have been this morning and instead I'm trying to figure out when I can get in to get a biopsy which is becoming more difficult than I had imagined. Considering I would have needed a babysitter for two weeks (and had one lined up) suddenly I can't find anyone to help with my toddler and my husband is busy for work. Ironic how a boob job seemed easier than screening a lump for cancer. Feeling sorry for myself and my pathetic, deflated boobs.