After years of deliberation I finally did it. This...
After years of deliberation I finally did it. This site was particularly helpful with my decision making and leading up to my operation so figured I should give back a little.
Stats; I am 25yo, 172cm tall, weigh 50kg, have a breast width of 11.5cm, no kids, before cup size of AA left and A cup on right.
I went with both 275cc round moderate profile silicon implants in the end, despite the first sizes I was comfortable with being 210cc then I moved up to 240cc then to 255cc. They just seemed to keep getting bigger. I was initially just paranoid about having that fake implant look. Eventually after reading lots of reviews and doing my research I decided to go with the implant that was the best fit for my measurements which was 275cc because I didn't want them to be too narrow or look out of place. Really glad I didn't go any smaller.
There was what I considered to be a substantial difference between my beasts however both my plastic surgeon and fitting nurse said it did not really justify different size implants. They did give me the option if I wanted to go with different sizes but that just made me nervous about ignoring the advice of professionals. So I went both the same and am hoping that after recovering the difference will be less obvious.
Here are some before pics
So I checked in at 1.30pm as scheduled . Changed into my gown and was taken to the waiting room for a 3pm surgery. Sat around for ages, the hours went by and no one let me know what was going on. Finally around 5.15pm I was collected and put in a hospital bed where I started to get nervous, the nurse told me I would be staying in over night even though I had never been told this and had already had my mother drive some way to pick me up. This meant her having to book into a hotel room and me forking out the additional $520 for the night stay in hospital on top of the $1200 it already cost for the day surgery. As far as I can tell this was because they were running late. I met with the anethetist Dr Hackland who was friendly and good with a needle (which I had been dredding) he gave me a small dose of something to calm me down and left the rest for the surgeon to give me. I then briefly spoke to my surgeon Dr Doyle who made a few markings and then administered the drug left by Dr Hackland. I can't remember I thing past that.
Until a blur of waking up thrashing around with my jaw chattering uncontrollably, the nurse I'd had before told me to quit that as though I was being silly and when I tried to grab at my jaw to calm it down she pulled my hand away and made some smart comment about me being like a dog with a bone. The nurse was not particularly caring and I got the feeling she had no sympathy for people getting cosmetic surgery, next thing I was in my hospital room. Feeling very out of sorts. Some other lovely nurses checked on me through the night and i was glad not to have to see that lady again.
I had expected I might see my surgeon after the op but that wasn't to be. A nurse tried to contact him for me regarding the tramadol I had been prescribed as I was not keen on it but was unable to reach him.
Since leaving the hospital I called my Dr's office to confirm my one week check up and found out that he had been looking for me but the hospital said they didn't have anyone under my name there! Pretty disappointing performance, especially for a private hospital.
Feeling exhausted. My right boob was/is much more swollen than my left sitting a good 2 inches higher but is looking slightly better today. The pain is hard to describe, more like incredible discomfort. The skin feels like it's going to split and I have had a few painful pinching feelings internally. The bottom half of both of my breasts and the left nipple is numb, with no sensation. My tummy and lower ribs are all swollen with fluid or something and are incredibly tender. Still can't lift my arms even up to shoulder height, moving and adjusting myself on the couch or bed is exhausting and painful. I have just been taking paracetamol and anti inflammatories but today I have also had some tramadol which I was prescribed but have been avoiding as I have had it once before and had a bad reaction. Will see how that goes.
Have started getting some really sharp pains, especially when I first get up. Under my arms around the implant and my nipples. I guess it's the nerves or something but wowey it hurts. I feel like it might have something to do with my bra being so tight and cutting off blood circulation when I sleep and then when I wake it all rushing back but this is the bra they have given me to wear for the next 6 weeks. Have my first post op check up tomo so will hopefully get some answers then. The tramadol has been a life saver. Have a lot of bruising on my right side and it still appears much bigger. Here are some pic updates.
So tired and bored. Used to being independent and self sufficient. Not used to sitting around so much but don't have enough energy to do much else. Not to mention I still can't lift my arms up or bare any weight. I guess I really thought i'd be getting the use of my limbs back by now. I have been sleeping up right as recommended but that is really starting to hurt my back, from tonight I will start to decrease the number of pillows.
My boobs are still really uneven and it's starting to get me worried. I knew there would be some difference in healing time but how long exactly? They look really fake and that's what I really didn't want. Starting to question if I should have chosen different implant sizes for each side despite my surgeons recommendations to get both the same and scared that I will be stuck with these noticeably different boobies for ever.
Still have lots of bruising on my right side and though you can't see it very well in the picture the bruising goes all down my right side.
The bottom half of my left breast is still totally numb :( I really hope the sensation comes back.
The surgical bra's I have been given feel much too small, they are an 8b which is strange because I used to wear a 10 or 12 in the back size and my boobs seem much bigger than a b cup. You can see that the bruising is pooling in the tight bra area under my arm and at night I feel like the circulation gets cut off to my arms.
Still in a fair amount of pain and when I breath in the flesh underneath and between my boobs feels like it is attached to my ribs :/
Although I have been feeling emotionally better today, post op blues is definatly a thing. I have never been one to cry easily but I have been blubbering all over the shop plus I get moments of intense anxiety that I really have to rationalise myself out of.
Aaaaah hope I'm just being impatient and over thinking.
Here are some pic updates.
So my bruising started to spread under my right breast around day 11. I sent some pics to my surgeon and he had suggested I come see him but because I'm too far away I needed to seek some local help. My local public hospital stuffed me around for a day and a half getting passed from one person to another and eventually told me to come back in a few days for an ultra sound.. :( as far as I knew I needed help sooner than that but none of the staff seemed to understand or care.
I called my surgeons office back and told them what was going on. They were really helpful in getting me set up with an appointment at an imaging clinic near by and sent through a referral for me.
The clinic was bulk bill (thankfully because I don't have private health insurance) and squeezed me in front of some other patients :) finally feeling a little cared for.
The results from the ultrasound were yes a haematoma is present. I was booked in for draining the next day but unfortunately it was too far along to drain, it had already hardened to much and he could only get about 4mls out. After speaking again with my surgeons office I have been told just to wait it out. Finding that frustrating when a few days back I needed immediate attention and now they are just telling me to do nothing! No one has been able to give me a clear answer to the risks or dangers of a haematoma not being drained or how long I can expect the hardened bruising to stick around. The office has been checking in with me every few days though which is nice.
So the bruising has lightened up heaps. Which is awesome, such a relief. The skin is so crazy sensitive, it feels like the surgical bra is filled with sharp prickles. Getting really nervous about the shape. They just look really fake and round and I can't see how they are going to look anything but implants ever.
:( not real happy about where my new boobs are at. Constantly repeating in my head just wait it out, they will sort themselves out and one day you'll be able to shrug off all this unnecessary stressing. But it's so not that easy.
They are so tightly fake implant round. One is dropping before the other which I know is common but it's making my nipples look way squewed and uneven. I'm just praying that when the right drops to match the nipples will look even again.
Hopefully just over thinking
So I know it's too late and there isn't much point in even thinking about it but there is now a small amount of doubt in my mind as to whether I made the right choice. Yes they look great in clothing but now I'm totally self conscious when I'm naked. Not only the way they look but also they feel, I can clearly feel the edge of the implant, more on my left than my right and that's upsetting knowing that anyone touching my breasts will feel it too. It makes it feel like they are not mine. A feeling I feared more than anything. I'm also getting used to being a different body shape, with curves and not just straight up and down. I know that's kinda what I wanted and maybe it's just because I haven't been able to work out but I just don't feel like myself.
Okay so its been a year and a half.
I originally banned myself from this site because as usefull as it was during the lead up it was anything but afterwards. I began obsessing over where i should be at. What they should look like, what i could have or should have done and it made recovery time pass oh so slowly.
It helped. I stopped staring and obsessing. I decided i had to wait the healing time either way. And then time just flew.
Where im at now.
Yes i sometimes still wonder if a size smaller or just lower profile would have looked better but never when im clothed. Dressed i often think you cant tell at all. Issues; my left is lower and my nipples still a little un even. There are times when im nude they look super fake but there are some times they look awesome. I am skinny, always have been and i train hard on top of that so the lack of body fat means theres little to hide their shape. I can often feel wrinkles in the implants around the side of my boobs and that i really hate. Most of my sensation is back besides a small bit under my left side. But my nipples react and still feel so I'm really happy about that. Mostly I'm really happy about my choice. I think about my boobs less than ever. I feel like a woman and as shallow as it sounds i feel like i am worth more, just in myself. Dont judge me for that comment, it is brutal honesty and only been positive for all round well being.
My left scar is really obvious and i hope to have that revised. I will discuss my still uneven nipples and the height difference but i figure at some point certain aspects of imperfection will have to be excepted.
Practicalities. No it will never be the same to lie on my stomach and the same goes for having the weight of a man lie on me. I found that certain real heavy lifting and push ups do really hurt my boobs even a year and a half on which really sucks and when tensed they look rediculous.
Mostly i am happy because i just dont think about them as much. They are fun and easier to dress in whatever.
Will post pictures asap, just had to get this down before i got distracted again.
After just uploading these photo's i feel the need to emphasize that they (my boobs) have good days and bad days visually and that a photo can still be quite misleading. Essentially though i think you see what you want to see, if i'm having a down day i only see unevenness and fakery but if i'm feeling good i am really happy with them