38 Yrs Old, 3 Pregnancies with 80 Plus Pounds Gained (And Lost) with Each. Gilbert, AZ

5 years ago I started to really examine my health....

5 years ago I started to really examine my health. Maybe because I'm getting older, maybe because my kids started to pay attention to my choices or maybe because I fell in love. Whatever the reasons were, I got serious! First thing I did was quit smoking. After 20 years that was super scary! But with the support of my family and some chantix, I never looked back. I gained 10 pounds which put me at about 205lbs. I was still drinking like crazy so the weight kept creeping up. About 6 months after I quit smoking I decided to change my eating habits. I had 5 months to prepare for our trip to Hawaii for my wedding!! I got busy! I started Atkins and walked every day for 20-30 minutes. My body had been waiting for this! By my wedding I had lost 25 pounds!! I felt amazing. A year later I quit drinking and lost 10 more. Over the last 4 years I have maintained all of the weight loss except for some gain after I started lifting weights at the gym. Maintained a fairly low carb eating habit. Bouncing slightly now from 170-175. It seems like no matter how much I weigh, my tummy is always big. Even at 165 I've been asked if I was pregnant. I HATE IT. I'm ALWAYS seeing people look at my belly and I'm always afraid they will ask. I'm tired of constantly readjusting my waistline after sitting. Or pulling my panties from under my belly at the gym. I'm ready for this!! Now I just need to rob a bank for the cash lol.

Selfishness

Well. Outlook not so good on me finding funds to have surgery. We have so many things coming that require fundage, a daughter that's graduating in PA, an anniversary trip to Hawaii that we've been planning for years, Holidays and visits from our kids during the upcoming holidays. Yet all I can think about is what it would be like to experience all of these occasions with a flat belly! To not feel uncomfortable in my skin would make life so much more freaking amazing! To be able to take family photos during all of these occasions and to not have to hide my belly would be simply wonderful. It literally hurts me to give up this dream. But having this dream is so damn selfish. Maybe I need to just let it go.

Wishful thinking...

So tomorrow is my wedding anniversary. I am secrey
Hoping my husband gives me a tummy tuck!! I know I'm so crazy! These expectations are out of control. But how fun would that be?! I'm officially obsessed with everyone's photos and stories. I spend all of my spare time researching, and comparing bodies. I even ventures into the ' necrosis and infection' stories. Oh boy. That shit is scary! I snuck in a little side convo with the husband about it last night. We all need to be realistic hahaha but I may have screwed myself out of the best anniversary gift ever! Crap. Lol

I just was a flat belly. Is that so much to ask?

:(

Anniversary day over. No super most wonderful gift of a flat belly from my husband. My. Heart. Hurts. BUT even with that I had the best day ever with my family!! I love him and he loves me and I know that this desire of mine has NOTHING to do with our measure of love. Not much else matters :) (my birthday is in exactly one month LOL I sure hope he gets his shit together by then) hahaha jk

Kinda :)

I'm back!

Okay. I'm back and more serious then ever! I'm back to research Dr josh Olsen again but unfortunately he hasn't updated with new before and after photos. Anyone have much to say about him?
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