36 Yr Old Female, 3 Kids, the Struggle is Real - Fort Myers, FL

Ive been wanting to do this a long time. I finally got my insurance approval and went through the three month program the Dr suggested. Today is day six of my pre op liquid diet. My family is of no help or support as I have asked of them. As they currently sit here eating chinese food and ordering pizza. I just go into another room so I dont have to see it, smell it, or be around it at all. I have struggled my entire life with my weight. In my family all the women are on the plus side. Phentermine has helped me yoyo back and forth with my weight. When I first was introduced to it after having my son, I lost 100 lbs. Over the years, not taking the diet med, I gained every bit of it back. When I hit 30, I could not lose the weight as fast and somewhat easy as it seemed before. Now I just gain, what I do lose I cant keep off. I work a full time job, I'm not a lazy person. Ive always been active but my body doesnt like to keep up with my mind set. Now the weight is taking control and I am feeling worse than I ever have. I got up to 323 lbs when I started this. My last weigh in a month ago, I was at 305 and I'm not sure what I am at today. I go to my pre-op appointment with my dr this Thursday, so I am sure he will weigh me to make sure I am sticking to my liquid diet. I am hoping for the energy and mindset to be able to stick to a diet and exercise plan when all of this is over. My coworkers tell me I do well and my weight doesn't seem to hold me back but the pain I endure every day tells me different. I am praying this is the beginning to a whole new me. I am tired of being tired.

2 days and counting! I've been an anxious emotional wreck. I'm having dreams of everything that can go wrong. It really sucks. Today I'm gonna try to be better and not worry so much. This liquid diet feels normal now and more and more I think I can do this. I don't ever want to go back to my old life style of eating, I want this new life. I want to feel healthy, I want to go hiking with my mom July first! I'm gonna post pics from yesterday, I am now at 291, down 15 lbs from the two week liquid diet!