Look, I don't expect to be perfect, I just want to...
Look, I don't expect to be perfect, I just want to be *better*; the best version of Me. I can't believe its' really gonna happen - I've waited so long!
I am so ready to undergo the biggest investment I've made into myself. I already love the person I am, and I feel good inside...and now it's time for the outside to reflect that. I want to love EVERYTHING I see in the mirror, from head to toe :)
Documenting the last month...
Typical "view from the top"... I'm so over it. Don't get me wrong, I love Me, I even love my distorted belly in a strange way....its been there so long it's like an annoying family member that Ive grown to accept and love because I felt I had to - but now I want it gone! Stockholm Syndrome maybe...felt trapped by it so figured "Hey, I hate it but this is life I guess..."
I'm thinking - this time next year the view from the top is gonna be dramatically different!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S HAPPENING TO ME!!! I feel so special :)
More Documenting & Weekend Randomness
It suddenly occurred to me that the one thing I kinda hate to see go, will be my C-Section scar. It's where the love of my life came out of, and into my life...but I have pics to remember it by!!
Seems Like It's Going to Be Forever/Surgery Date Moved Ahead
Not much going on this way, just dropping in the update that my surgery has been moved a week up. Originally 3/9, now 3/2...just ready to get it done! How am I going to make it through the next 3 weeks, time is slow as a snail! I've waited 15 years, now it's 3 weeks away and feels like eternity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! Next Week!!!
Everything's paid for...house is prepped...nervousness setting in.......
Pre-Op and Labwork Done! TT-Minus 5 Days!!
Had my preop... Dr. Herring is amazing. He took the time to fully answer questions (even questions I didn't know I had, lol). And as always, the office staff are so helpful and accommodating. Hoping all lab work comes back with the "all clear"....once it does then I'm for sure, FOR SURE, on my way to the flat side!!! Just posting a few pre-op pics with my markings... I'll probably post a few more the night before TT-Day, just for posterity!!
SN: Ugh! Had tornadoes all over the east coast today! But we made it! I was like "I swear to god....a tornado had BETTER NOT tear up Dr. Herrings office, and I can't have my surgery!!" Lol
Bye Bye, Belly!!!!!!!!!!!! 17 years of hiding you, cursing you, tucking you, and trying my best to ignore you and lie to myself as if YOU didn't affect my ultimate self esteem....you making me feel like all the hours and money that I put into Crossfit, Tae Bo, and boot camps over the years were pointless because at the end of the day no matter how hard I worked I would never be smooth, or rock a bikini to the beach! Every year, looking at bathing suits that are one piece, grandma styles, then finally giving up years ago when I realized it hurt too much to shop for them because I had to acknowledge you. Deciding to just deal with a cover up tunic...or, remember that time I went swimming with cheer shorts and a tank.....because of you! Amazing what effect a little extra skin and stretch marks can have...
You haven't been entirely bad...you've actually trained me to learn to love myself in spite of my flaws. Having you was a good exercise in learning to love myself. You also symbolize the fact that I nurtured life, and birthed beautiful, healthy babies. I will admit, I did enjoy stroking you absentmindedly at times, while watching tv. Feeling my loose, crinkly skin had a sort of comfort to it, in those very limited moments.
But alas, life is best lived with growth and progress, and improvement. You no longer fit my life plan...your time has come, and we must part ways so that I can be the best Me!
T-Minus Three Days!
I'm so excited I'm kinda numb. Doesn't seem real...this is really gonna happen!! Spending today (Saturday) and tomorrow getting the house clean, clothes washed and organized and within easy reach of my caregiver, and stocking the fridge. Trying to get the bulk of it done today so that I can spend most of tomorrow just relaxing and spending as much quality time with my little girl as possible. By this time next week, I'll be on the flat side!!!
Tomorrow is the Day
You plan for something for weeks and months and it seems like ages and ages until the time will arrive....;then all of a sudden it's tomorrow!
Today was bittersweet, I felt kinda heavy hearted as I logged off my computer at work, and picked up my baby girl from school. Been trying to give her extra loving and quality time to make up for being our of commission for the next few weeks! I'm just ready to get it over with! I'm like "Oh lord, what have I signed up for? What am I getting myself into!" Lol...but I'm happy and excited, I feel blessed and privileged to be able to take such a step towards my future happiness. :)
Ladies - I Made It to the Flat Side!
1 Mar 2016
Day of treatment
I won't attempt to type much right now because morphines about to kick in...I'll give a full rundown tomorrow but for now I'll let a pic soeak a thousand words...look at that smile ....I made it....
Post Op, Day Two...
Ladies, it's not as bad as I feared! Even the drains... I'm still walking pretty hunched over, and my incision does feel a slight burn feeling if I sit wrong, but otherwise I'm ok! I straightened my room a bit, gave myself a sponge bath....I did everything real slow in order to not over exert, and I'm good....currently writing this as I just woke from a nap.
Had my first post op appointment today (although Dr. Herring visited me at the hospital the morning I was released too), and everything is great! I only had to have one drain and it collects very slowly; I'm not putting out lots and lots of fluid so I should be getting the drain removed next Tuesday! I've already started drinking Milk of Mag, but so far I'm only gassy....constipation may be an issue if I don't get something going here soon....
Still gonna tell y'all the whole story, I'm just about to see my two year old for the first time since Tuesday morning, so I'm about to spend QT with her! I missed her!! I will attach pics I took yesterday though (after I was released from the hospital).
3 Days Post-Op
Doing pretty good! No pain at all and even when my meds wore off earlier it didn't hurt a lot. I'm just walking hunched over and I have to watch how I sit but otherwise I feel awesome! They are taking my drain out next Tuesday at my 2nd post op appointment.
Ugh, great time for Aunt Flo to visit! She's so rude.
Milk of Magnesia - lets just say that after yesterday, being "backed up" is not an issue! My tip is to start taking it BEFORE constipation becomes a problem. I knew it was time to start when I noticed that I got cramps when I would eat, but no urge to go do #2.... So I started taking it then to prevent it getting worse.
I can't believe how good I feel! I'm still very swollen but I see the change...stretch marks will definitely be lower, and once the swelling goes down I see my belly being much flatter.
JP drain is putting off fluid that only continues to get clearer and clearer and lighter in color. This is great news. It also doesn't put out much fluid.
That full story of my surgery is coming up next!
Post-Op, Day 4...
Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy me!!
Still feeling good! I do tend to doze off quicker and more frequently, but that's to be expected. I dozed off and mistakenly let my pain meds wear off and that's when I FULLY felt the drain...it does hurt (it to you feel it). Mainly at the part where it actually goes into your body....kind of a burny, achey feeling. But once I got my meds back into my system, I was back comfy again. I still walk hunched over! I only emptied my drain once today, and it only had about 23 cc's collected from the entire day. Posting a few more pics ....
Five Days Post-Op, Pics Update
Not much to update, outside of pictures....
Drain Pain (5 DPO)
It hurts. Probably due to letting my pain meds wear off...but on the pain scale with 10 being the highest, the point where the drain tube enters my body has to be about a six at the moment. Throbbing, burning pain.
As I typed this, my pain meds slowly kicked in...went from a level six to about a level two, within a 3-5 minute time period. Level two, with an occasions, throb of level 5 pain as the med continues kicking in.......Tuesday can't get here quick enough. NOW I see why drains are so hated, even though they serve a valuable purpose.
Drain Pain - Final Night!!
On the pain scale, about a five.
Thank god, this wretched thing comes out IN THE MORNING.
Done typing, too much hurtin' goin on at the moment. Update tomorrow....
Yaay!! Drain is OUT!!
Removed yesterday! The wonderful Dr. Herring and his team took good care of it. It didn't hurt at all...not even my sutures being cut. I barely felt the tube slide out...
10 Days Post Op Update
Swelling has improved quite a bit!
14 DPO Update...
Swelling continues to resolve.... I feel awesome!
16 Days Post Op
Had a follow up appt today...dr. Herring refilled my Percocet Rx in case I need them (probably will, even though my pain is highly manageable). I find my soreness is more likely to be felt in the morning if I didn't take one before bed, and I usually need one after work....but even then it's niggling, minor pain, mainly at the incision edges. But ibuprofen is bad, no TERRIBLE, for long term use, so with the Percocet I will stay....
The striped paints have always been a little too small...BUT, I can finally get in them without a wad of meat distorting me and preventing me from getting them on!!!!! I'm loving my results more and more, each day!!!!
21 Days Post-Op
Feelin good, feelin fine!!
Swelling continues to improve...I notice it's more in the evenings, and the evenings are also when I'm more prone to pain (probably because of the swelling). My incision is irritable too, but nothing more than the norm/what I would expect. Still have to watch how I lay on it, and also the waistbands on pants and panties can irritate it.
I started using Bio Oil, twice a day. Dr. Herring said a patient of his that had a TT eight months ago, has only a thin, faint line, so....cross my fingers! My C-section scar ended up being extremely faint and wasn't raised at all, so I'm hopeful that my TT scar will follow similar fashion.
What can I say....I feel and look awesome. My clothes fit so much better. I love the front of my pants being flat, not with a lump or roll under the button.
Looking back at my "before" pics, I can't believe the change, and it seems like my "bad belly" was a lifetime ago!
Next Follow-up appointment is this Thursday!
One Month, 23 Days PO
Well, these days I'm feelin pretty good! Tummy has no pain, and sensation is starting to return in many more spots. Swelling remains an issue, later in the say, but since I know it's normal/expected/will resolve, I'm not too worried.
I want to begin a light fitness regimen now. Maybe start w/some running...focus on lower body so my thighs will align with my slimmer midsection. This is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I look at pics and still can't believe that a little less than two months ago, I had that flap of skin, I can't believe it's me in my pics. I'm so overjoyed. Results just keep getting better and better! P,anoint a trip to Tampa soon, to give my "beach body" a test run!
*Update* Two Months, 23 Days P.O.
25 May 2016
2 months post
Still doing great. Swelling us still an issue...especially right before my period...but my incision is healing well, and I'm still freaking happy with my body!! Started back clean eating, and an exercise regimen....
Breast Lift Consultation
16 Aug 2016
5 months post
Still doing great in regards to my tummy tuck procedure that I had back in March! I still have residual swelling, and that is going to stick around for a while. I did have a consult about my breast...they are a bit too large and pendulous. I have had these puppies since middle school, and I really dont like them (unless they pushed up in a super wire push up bra). How nice it'll be to wear regular shirts, and to feel "light" when walking about without a bra. Right now, I feel like a slob and a slouch especially when I do not wear a bra...I cant explain the feeling...just a feeling of a "sloppy weight". My man likes them as is, he said he doesnt expect them to stick up like cones...but the thing is, this is for me, not him. I want to love my boobies! And no offense to men, but they always say what they think the want in regards to our looks, but once they see you, it's a whole different story. He will love them. Thankfully I will not need implants, as my breasts have enough volume to be full even after he lifts. I also do not have to have my nipples transplanted (yaaay!). I'm already mapping out my plan.....let's do it! It'll probably be done around the same time period I had my TT done (late Feb/early March). This will probably be the last cosmetic procedure I have for a while. I do see a butt lift in my future, perhaps in my late 40's and early 50's (the women in my family tend to become saggy and square like back there once that middle age spread hits). I also plan to be able to react to any touch-ups needed on my breasts and belly. I will ALWAYS be a fan of cosmetic surgery (as long as you dont go overboard) and as a woman, it's most certainly an investment. You see, a big part of our value is how attractive we are, and the longer you can keep that going in your life, the better your chances are of attracting and keeping a mate, even into your twilight years. My biggest fear is becoming old, boring, and frumpy, and not caring about it!
Next Goal in My Sights
A tighter body and a cover up tatt for my TT scar (which I'm ok with even without a cover up tattoo)