This is the Start of Something New - Europe

Like many others I have found comfort from reading this website and I wanted to share my story even though it is just the beginning.

I have hated my nose for so long, probably over 10 years. I always hate photos of me and I want to change it in photoshop. I hated when other people took photos as I couldn't control it then.

It has always been something I have been thinking about but never really taken seriously. I always hated it but never really though that I could seriously change it. But I got hit in the nose by a guy by accident and it swelled up and while it didn't leave too much damage I seem a bit more aware of my nose and the shape bothers me.

The more I started thinking about it the more I realised I needed to do it. So many years of feeling self conscious when someone sat next to me, so many years of changing my nose in editing programs, so many years of thinking about it. I realised I need to do this now!

Once I started thinking about it I realised many of my friends actually had it done and that helped. All of them said they wished they did it sooner! So in the beginning I was just excited. Now after researching I am terrified and scared and overwhelmed!

I have decided to do the surgery abroad. Because I like the idea of going away and coming back a new person. I know costs shouldn't be a factor but I am going to start by looking overseas as UK is considered one of the most expensive plastic surgery countries and I believe there are qualified surgeons elsewhere too and I am determined to find them. My nose is also not that complicated I believe as I don't have any major problems.

No one really understands why I want a nose job. No one has ever made fun of my nose. It's kind of straight and small and someone actually thought I had already had one. But I am doing this for myself and I know I need to do this. I am starting a new phase of my life and I feel it's now or never with many things.

I have made some proposed before and after photos of my nose. This is my desired result. I especially hate my nose when I smile as the top droops a lot and it's long.

At this stage I have only sent these of and explain what I want done to a few different surgeons including Dr Oelbrandt in Belgium, Dr Toncic in Croatia and Dr Adam K in Poland. But I am researching everyday and want to make a good choice.

I am now going from extremely excited one second to extremely nervous the next. I have a shortest of surgeons and at the moment I am going between three choices.

But now I am starting to really just think every review is fake and not trusting anything online and it's so hard! I know for every one bad there are so many good but I am terrified that I will come out of surgery wishing I never did it and wanting my old nose back. I could not live with that feeling!

So now I am just thinking "is it all worth it?". I just want it so badly and thought of it consumes me. But researching is hard work and I feel like I go back and forth all the time! I am driving myself crazy as I don't know who I want to go with or what to do. I feel like even people who pay a lot get bad results and people who pay less have great and some people have results that look good to me but they are not happy with! Such confusion.

At the moment I am leaving towards one who isn't mentioned too much but that in their native country had great reviews and does a lot of noses. I have a call with the nurse tomorrow so hopefully I will have more answers then.

Not a day goes by without me looking on realself and searching about surgeons. I am now leaning towards Dr Adam K in Poland. Mostly because I like what I have read about him and also that in the emails they are very honest to make sure my expectations are not too high. I see this as professionalism that they don't tell me they cant guarantee that I will look 100% like the photos I sent and saying they will definitely make it better but cant say anything until I go for a consultation. I am going to schedule it in for October and if I feel ok I will go ahead I think but if not I will go back to London and re-think. Luckily my work is quite flexible even though I am not telling anyone what kind of surgery. If anyone else is going around then let me know if you perhaps want a buddy.

I am having a real "hate my nose" day. It's really bugging me. I think it's because I am so happy with everything else in my life and my looks except my nose. I am uploading two photos. One from underneath to show you how ridiculously long my nostrils are which is why it's so protruded. And also one from me looking slightly down at an angle. This is my worst angle and makes me want to cry! It's so droopy and long.

So after going back and forth for a while I decided to call and speak to people both at Adams office and the other one I am considering which is Glumicic in Croatia. He is not really mentioned a lot on british boards or forums and I read one bad review but there is always going to be some negative. I kind of see it as a good thing he doesnt just specialise in trying to get foriegn patients as sometimes it seems thats what Adam does, I dont know. I did like Adam but I dont think he specialises in facial plastic surgery and he is more a boob guy. I also dont think he is a plastic surgeuon but a general surgeon from what I gathered.

Glumicic is the most famous surgeon in his country and does a lot of celebrities. He also does a lot of noses. I have read a lot now about him and translated pages and he seems like the right choice. He has also been on a lot of conferences about rhinoplasty and he is trained in America. From looking at his before and afters they all look great and like I want my nose to look. I spoke to the phone with his nurse Darija and she was so nice and even called me on their holiday. So I feel good about it.

I booked it in for October but will continue my research so I am completely sure. I also said if I dont feel 100% when down there I wont go ahead.

Im sure I am not the only one who is going back and forth. So I booked in my surgery and now I have been in bed researching all day and found all these disturbing articles about him so now I want to cancel! I am just terrified something will go wrong. While I hate my nose it is not unbearable and I am still by many considered beautiful, id hate to wish for my old nose back. So I am going to cancel my surgery until further notice and research more. I still want to do it, just want to feel 100% about my choice of surgeon. This just gets harder and harder! Strongly considering selling my soul and crying to my parents so they can take me to LA to get it done.

So I have been researching noses a lot to see what I like. I am uploading some I really like. One is Kim Kardashian. While I don't particularly like her, her nose is great with a great slope and definition to bridge which is what I want. I also have some of Jennifer Hawkins as she has a cute button nose. I also like Ashley Simpsons nose job as it made her look amazing. So these will be the pictures I will give to my surgeon and base my nose job on. Obviously I understand he can't make me look exactly like that and it needs to suit my face but I do want to get something similar.