I saw a cute (tongue in cheek) quote on Facebook...
I saw a cute (tongue in cheek) quote on Facebook yesterday. "Having a pretty ass doesn't matter, what really matters is having a pretty heart, a pretty mind and a pretty soul." To which I responded - "Sadly the reality is that if you have a pretty ass, none of the others are required." I'm a 34 year old beautician in a hair salon, surrounded by real women on a daily basis. Shifting in their chairs, looking back at their reflections in the mirror...sometimes with glee, sometimes in horror. A little hair salon is just the place to get a healthy dose of reality. And the reality is Women must never age. Their hair should never thin or go grey. They should certainly never get fat. Wrinkles are lines across a piece of art to be avoided at all costs... as if it were a choice. Look, this is not all a bad story, Im not trying to rain on everyone's boobie parade. Truth is this is so much more than 2 lumps of silicone in your chest and cleavage in your tanks. It's about self image, how sexy and feminine you feel with or without it. So my story begins. Iv been overweight since I was 11 years old. Have mostly suffered with low self esteem and poor body image for most of my life. Have yo - yoed up and down the scale for years but have recently lost 20 kilos, yet again, and am thankfully managing to keep it off. I have a serious fat person complex even at a healthy weight and being well above average in looks. Somehow the idea of being sexy has always made me feel awkward. Heels and boobs, tight jeans and low cut tops were for someone else. Not for fat people. So I woke up one day and thought, I'm being ridiculous, I'm sexy and I need to come to terms with it. Get comfortable in it. Even enjoy it. So I pulled out my unscuffed heels and started wearing them. Put on false eyelashes. Started stuffing my bras with chicken fillets and socks. Religiously smacked on make up even when I was too lazy to. And all this started making me feel much much better. To date, I feel much more comfortable with myself. The closer I get to this ideal. I got my lips plumped with restyline, threw in some hair extensions and decided I'm going to be in the hot group instead of the fat miserable group. Cut a long story short, I'm getting a boob job, to the sheer delight of my fiance. My surgery is booked in June and is only around 6 weeks away. I've been reading reviews and looking at boobs for days on end...fiance has been very helpful with my research. I've been looking at the implant reviews AND implant removals. Very interesting to see how ladies feel about their assets 10, 15 years down the line. Ive been talking to all my boob job clients at work, young and old. The young ladies are loving them and a lot of the older ladies...not so much. Am I going to be able to live with the size? Although my sad little boobs are not a picture, they are user friendly and don't feel like foreign bodies. I'd like to hear from everyone of the ladies who rave about their boobs after having them done what they feel like down road. Not just a 1 month post op. Very few give details of what they feel like after a year or more when the dust has settled and they are faced with the permanence of them. Every action has a repercussions. I got eyelash extensions, lost half my eyelashes and am not sure if they will fully recover. Yes I LOVED them when they were first in. Same with my tattoos. Loved them. But now there are things I'd like to change on them. The restyline lips are cool. I love having fuller lips, but now that the product has settled my lips are uneven and they need more product to even them out. I'm brave. Il go through an extra ordinary amount of pain if the result is worth it.... but you will only find out once it's done. I've decided to go between 360 and 400 cc moderate high profile, silicone on top of the muscle. I'm 60kg, 5'7 and pear shaped. I'm not sure about these rice sizers... fiance has had much fun assisting me in this area. My plastic surgeon is great and comes well recommended. But what if he's having a bad day, like my last tattoo artist was and ends up going squew. I want the boobs. But I am nervous. They have the same permanence as my tattoos and I just want to love them and not regret them later.
So many mixed emotions
Too much information can also be a bad thing. I had to give the reviews and research a rest as I was seeing double and almost thought I'd change my mind. Just a month away from my surgery and am feeling better about my decision. I'm naturally a worrier so got myself into a bit of a state. I've been talking to my clients who have had boob jobs and they have been really reassuring. Find myself looking at ever women's breasts that walk by.... and thinking, I'm sure I will enjoy them...my chicken fillets have had their day. I don't even know where those fillets have disappeared to, they are lost in my wardrobe somewhere. 3 weeks till my pre op. I have SO many questions. I'm very happy that I will be going over the muscle. It was a big concern but for so many reasons it suits me better. My Dr explained the benefits of going over the muscle. Quicker recovery. Not going to affect my chest muscles( some lady's work out and as the muscles contract the implants are moving in crazy directions) The breasts fall naturally. Whereas under the muscle the breast implant doesn't fall with the boob and you can get a double boob. I don't like the idea of the muscle contracting over the implant all the time without any support under the breasts. If my boobs look a lil porn coz the implants are on top of the muscle, that's fine with me :-) I want the cleavage right. Besides I'm not getting 1000cc s. Probably btw 350 and 400 cc. So il be ok. ........tick tock tick tock
2 weeks to go
Can't believe it's almost here!
Pre - op consultation
Went back to Dr Dumas for a second consultation with a list of questions as long as my arm. Despite what people have said about his abrasive manner, I've found him to be very kind, patient and actually quite pleasant. He did not charge for the second consultation. He put my mind at ease with regards to all my concerns and I feel quite relieved and less apprehensive. It's less than 2 weeks away and I've been looking at bras thinking what the hell size am I going to be. My fiance can hardly contain his excitement and I'm sure il be enjoying all the extra attention when they are in :-) Felt a flu coming on and I'm fighting it off. Don't want to be sick come surgery day. Just a few more days to go....
Just 10 short hours till surgery
Bag is packed....nail polish removed. Hair washed. Legs Shaved...Waxing done. Dishes washed. Laundry done. Grocery shopping list for the week in fiance ' s hand... last minute pre - op pizza binge....mini melt down in fetal position... check. I'm in mourning for my boobs as they are... just because I'm scared of the unknown. But onward and upward....or outward should I say. I've been assured by every woman iv met that's been down this road, that I will love them. So I'm taking courage from that....and imagining them in a pink tank top with my new hair extensions. Spoke to mum... who is completely baffled by me going in for any cosmetic procedure. Every mother thinks their child is perfect as they are. Bless them. We laughed at my restyline lip injections and I gave her a big hug. Reminded her that if I die I have a good life insurance policy in her name.... She wasn't impressed. I already feel a heaviness on my chest and having you tube flash backs of mammary fat, metal spatulas and smoke rising off the cauterizing gadget. Gonna try and sleep now. Next update will be after my upgrade.... Shit.
375cc textured silicone gummy bears over the muscle! DONE!!!!!
Had a restless night on the morning of the 11th. Could not sleep with my surgery looming only hours away. Arrived at hospital at 6:45am for my 8am surgery. Fiances nerves were just as frazzled as mine. Checked in to ward. Was given a gown and some disposible undies and asked a whole bunch of medical history questions. They also took a urine sample to check my kidney function. Doc came through and had a quick conversation while he marked me. He knew I wanted to be somewhere between 350 and 400cc. He suggested 350 but said he would try the 375 but that 400 would be pushing it. I was comfortable with that, as I would have been happy with a 350 or 375 from the pics Ive seen. Soon after I was being wheeled through to surgery in my bed. I was surprisingly calm and when I entered the theatre it was nice to see everyone in high spirits. I knew I was in the best hands so it just put my mind at ease. Joked around with the aneathetist and the next thing I knew I was back in the ward with a menu in my face on opening my eyes. I couldnt make head or tale of the menu and just said chicken option. Its the only word I could make out through the blur. That was at 10am in the morning and I only saw that chicken dish after 9pm that night. Spent most of the day sky high on meds , bloated and nauseous. Ridiculous to be so medicated without anything to eat. Not that I had much of an appetite, but i felt drunk on meds and food can be quite sobering when you are in that state. Like a doner kebab after the club.... bad analogy but anyway. I was wrapped firmly with a pile of dressing and bandages, made to lie at a stupidly uncomfortable angle, which I assume was to aid drainage. I had an awful persistent cough from the pipe they put down your throat and a horrible needle in my hand for the drip. I couldnt manage to do anything. Stretching over to get my phone and stuff was very uncomfortable, so I just piled what I needed on the bed. Funnily enough the things which pained me the most was my back and using those god forsaken bed pans from hell. Couldnt get out the bed at all and had to keep buzzing for every little thing. I hate asking for stuff so i felt extrememly frustated. the bed pan story REALLY got to me. I was full to bursting, would ask for the bed pan and then proceed to sit on it for up to an hour trying to pass urine. The position is completely unnatural for urination and psychologically I couldnt relieve myself while lying fully clothed in a bed under blankets. This is what we have been trained to prevent happening practically from birth. I cried tears of anger for that bed pan. Its awful... i had to try and uncondition my mind..."Its ok to pee in the bed, just relax"....but more water was coming out of my eyes than from below. The pain injections were great...altho my legs now feel bruised from them but they were worth it. You feel no pain at all. In fact you feel elavated and really warm. Best bit of hospital stay. Was only wishing I had a vodka soda with me. Doc visited briefly after. said all went well, he tried 350 but 375 looked better and would give me a nice perky breast... Yes please :-) So my mum, friend and fiance came through to visit at lunch. I saw them all panic and look with wide eyes of dread when they saw how high my chest was. They all thought Id put a pair of melons in but were too scared to say anything. Fiance looked terrified. Shame... :-) Spent a long restless night wincing in bed between the drains, drip and the bed pan. Finally morning came. managed to eat toast and have a coffee while lying almost completely flat. Was highly annoyed. Got another pain shot before they came to remove the drains. My first awkward bed bath and then a lovely young nurse helped me remove the dressing and pulled out the drains. Awful, awful feeling. Felt really sweaty and faint. When the dressings came off I had instant boob greed, I was like where did my boobs go. I think its far too early to say and both my doc, fiance and I agreed the size was sexy but sensible. Never thought id say wheres the rest of my boobs. lol. Whereas fiance had the opposite when he saw me in bandages, more like boob remorse, lol it was funny to see him go grey and wide eyed when he saw all that padding. Back home now and on the mend. Being spoilt by fiance which is great, he has been incredible. Hope you ladies all have someone as loving and caring looking after you when you are healing. I have post op in a week. Gotta keep the support bra on and not remove at all. no driving, hugging, jumping castle etc. Got pain meds and antibiotics to take home. Looking forward to a lovely week of snuggly recovery with my hubby. Surprisingly its not as painful as I thought it would be. It just hurts when i breathe in deeply and when I move my arms around too much. Im also scared to stand up straight coz it feels like the skin is tight and pulling. Will keep posting pics as I progress. Cant wait for them to fall into place and be squeezable and painfree. I think Im really going to love em when they have settled. Im not a fan of lefty and righty. its over done...so Ive named my girls Lee-anne (Lefty) and Rosanne(Righty). Will be posting pics of Lee_anne and Rosanne over the next few months. Rosanne seems more swollen than Lee-anne. Lets see how they get on together.
Recovery Day 2
Surprisingly I don't have any pain. Just a stretched tight feeling over the chest. I'd say it's more discomfort than pain. Took pain tablets this morning but don't feel I need them this evening. As long as my arms are at my sides im completely fine. Trying to sneak peeks and pull up the bra every now and then. But really they are just the same. Keep hoping for some movement but that's just plain ridiculous. Read a review by someone who wants hers removed after having them just a few weeks. I feel really sad for her just because her expectations were not met. I can imagine her disappointment. But certainly the things she complains about are relevant. Right now these boobs don't feel like my own. They do feel heavy and foreign. I'm just hoping things get better as they settle in. Can't imagine how the girls over 500 cc cope, recovery must be difficult.
Recovery going well
Only 3 day post surgery and I'm in no pain at all. Managed to drive a short distance and back without any hassle. When the bandages came off at hospital I was completely underwhelmed, but looking at them today I'm wondering if il cope with all this boobsliciousness once they drop. Had my sister who has always had bazookas say...."I'm only a c and I don't know where to stuff all this boob, you'll see" That does make me nervous. I'm used to fitting clothes a certain way and every thing is going to change now. We are never happy with what we have, she would probably be happy with a breast reduction and here I am going under the knife for enlargement. Makes you wonder what "perfect" are we aspiring to?
Pings in the nipples
Skin of the breast feels burnt
Otherwise going well. Post op app in 2 days. Phone is exploding with my boob pictures. Better not lose my phone!
Hahaha I was right about this top :-D
Sleep shirt - after
I definitely feel sexier. It is true. I actually totally different with boobs.... but in a really good way. Had post op today. Tape was removed. I can shower!!!! Which I did ...but my boobs felt heavy and I felt quite nervous with the water hitting them. Doc said dry stitches and wipe with surgical spirits after. Very burny. First day back at work and I'm broken. My back is a mess. Have had awful posture all week because I've been scared to stand up straight. Good Night my plastic fantastic sisters.
The scars don't bother me to be honest. I can't even see them without someone else taking a picture and showing me. Am surprised at how little pain or discomfort I've had. Just feeling quite itchy. Otherwise all good. Speed bumps on the road... not so good.
3 weeks post op
First day back at gym. My weight is sky rocketing since iv been out of gym. Left boob still feeling a lil odd. Right is fine. Nipples are super sensitive. Seem to have dropped quite a bit already.
Approximately 5 weeks
All good. One boob dropping faster than the other. Scars healing well.
10 Aug 2014
2 months post
Right boob which was the bigger of the 2 is still a little tight and sitting higher than the left. I'm very happy that they feel like my own already. Looking forward to them being on the same level. That sort of thing is quite unnerving.