I am a very busy woman with two kids and my own...
I am a very busy woman with two kids and my own growing business. I have wanted to fix my body since I had my children, but I felt like it was out of my reach. I finally made my mind up that if I didn't do it now then I would never do it. I'd never have the time or money again. It's basically now or never, so now it is.
I contacted probably about twenty doctors before i chose Dr. K. It was his patience, his understanding and his desire to help me that made me decide on him. He wanted so much to help me. Every other doctor seemed really not to care. I felt like I had met someone who really wanted to make women beautiful again and help restore their confidence. That for me was the mark not only of a good doctor, but of a man who is concerned not only about your personal well being, but your emotional well being.
Getting plastic surgery is an emotional choice. We will not physically die because we have a saggy ass or stomach. It's our emotional self that dies a little each day when we look in the mirror with disgust or run past it so that we don't have to see it. I know what I'm doing is really to heal that part of me that hides from mirrors hates bathing suits with a passion. Dr. K understands that his role is not only to fix a a flabby stomach, but to mend a spirit too.
I found a travel buddy who is awesome and bubbly. I can't wait to meet her and give her a hug. I know we have the most life changing journey ahead of us. I know we'll share a unique bond; one that most people who have not experienced this could ever share. We will be in a little painful chrysalis for awhile, but when we emerge then we'll never run from a mirror again.
I am hoping for a BBL, a TT, liposuction and to have my breasts reduced. I want to be able to shop in Victoria's Secret again. I want to wear shirts that close all the way and not have people stare at me like I'm a freak of nature. I want my ass to fill my jeans nicely instead having a downward slope and I want the weird lumpy fat shelf off of me. I want to be pretty again.
I've moved my date up to February 18th.
I have decided to move my date up and my wonderful surgeon has obliged me. I have so many work obligations coming up that I need to be ready and healed for that it makes sense to do it early. I booked my airfare and my new recovery house. I went with Yasmin's because it seems like it's more like a home instead of a hospital. That's really important to me since I've lost my surgery buddy.
I am a bit scared and excited all at once. I know that all I have to do is get through the tough part and it will all be okay. I Just wish it was closer! I wish it was tomorrow and I didn't have time to think about it. I keep reminding myself everyday that's it's only two weeks. Two weeks goes by in a flash--it's a blip!
Keep me in you thoughts ladies and all of you will be in mine.
I got my passport today!
I am getting excited! I hate leaving my kids and I'm scared, but more excited. I have been looking at bodies that I like. I realize that this is not McDonald's, but a wish list isn't out of line.
I can't wait to buy a normal bra. I can't wait to not have my breasts smooshed together so tightly that they stink at the end of the day. I am counting down...
Okay, so I have this crazy list of crap that I need to get.
Where are the best places to buy all this stuff that we need? Any place that sells the good stuff cheap? A black market for Clorox wipes and surgical gloves?
I ordered all the stuff from Walmart!
I kept it under $25.00. Yay me! I still need surgical gloves though. Hmmm...I will have to see where one procures surgical gloves. I have to decide on what size bra I need. I am tempted to get a D cup. I know that's still big, but it's a normal size and if I go smaller my children won't know me.
I am so busy that I don't have much time to think about this. I have so much to do before I'm gone for so long. I hope my kid don't freak out too much. They haven't been without me for more than one day since they were born and vice versa. Maybe it will do them good!
Where do you keep all that cash?
I don't want to put cash in my suitcase because I've lost luggage before. I have to check the suitcase because of all this I have to take (craziest stuff I've ever packed for a trip, lol) so it's not going in there. Anyone who has had the lock cut off their suitcase will know it's a bad idea. I don't want to put it in my purse--geez, can you imagine what the security folks will think of that? Where am I going to put it?
The bodies I am praying I can get a bit close to having.
These are my favorite bodies. I love them and this is what I want--nothing crazy or outlandish. These are lovely to me.
Hemoglobin is a 14.4!!! And on my first try too!!!
YAHOO! I admit, I have been sweating this one. I had no idea what my hemoglobin was and I dreaded finding out for an entire week. I started my vitamins awhile back, but just the Flintstones chewables my kids take--I kept forgetting to buy my own. So four days before I have this test done I start taking them. Then the day before the test I read that it can take six weeks for vitamins to have any effect at all. YIKES! Seeing those test results was an enormous weight off my shoulders. Now I just want the weight of these enormous boobs off my shoulders as well!
The Freak Outs
Oddly, it's not me freaking out. It's my sister that's freaking out. I am a bit concerned with a few things, but I'm waiting to see if it all works out. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. We are supposed to get snow--wouldn't you know it? It never snows in the south, but they say it's coming. Like I said, we'll see what happens.
One more gorgeous butt to think about!
Okay, so I'm doing it all.
We weren't really sure if my hemoglobin would take all of the procedures at once, so I thought I'd have to pick which ones meant the most to me. Dr. K thinks I can do it all! I am thrilled!
So I'm getting nervous now... Does anyone in here read? I need a good book to distract me.
I know it will be fine, but still I'm as nervous as a cat. I need a good book to read and then I'll be okay. Anyone in here love to read? I have always loved books like "The Lovely Bones" or "The Feast of Love".
We got snow and ice...the day before my flight.
I'm not sure if my flight will be canceled or not. Most likely it will be. I am worried that everything will be messed up. It sucks completely. My road is a sheet of ice that's about three or four inches thick. Great.
I made it! It's surgery morning!
Let's see how this goes, guys!
I am waiting...
I am waiting to take my little blue pill. So excited!!
Dr. Eusebio is HOT!
Seriously, he's gorgeous. I am marked up and waiting. I am too happy to be nervous, too excited to sleep. I am not even scared. I am THRILLED.
Okay, right now I feel hideous, but my breasts are smaller!
Dr. Euebio and his assistant were flat out AWESOME. Dr. Eusebio is also terribly cute! His assistant is lovely and she rarely left my side. Yasmin's has been great too! I am in a world of pain. CIPLA SUCKS. Just saying.
I still feel super ugly.
I know it's swelling, but my waist is six inches bigger than it used to be. I can't get on my old pyjamas that I bought for when I was pregnant. If I can't get on my pregnancy clothes then damn...I must look like a short fat troll. Oh, and I have a shiner to boot, courtesy of my son's cleats. I stink because I can't shower. Basically, I'm a hot, fat, smelly mess. Soooo sexy.
My breasts look really weird. I had to take a look and they are strange looking.
I mean just strange. I'm terrified that this is what they are going to look like.
My Tummy Three Days Post OP.
It looks strange to me, but pretty good I think.
What's with the itching?
I am itching like mad. I can't stop! My back itches, my sides, my boobs, and my stomach. It's maddening! I can't sleep. The pain isn't bad if I don't move. Laying back and sitting are tests of my endurance of pain. If I cough forget about it--that will make me want to cry. Sometimes the pain is so intense that I can't get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I'm like a turtle stuck on its back.
I know it's early, but my body just looks so awful to me. I haven't discussed it with my family; I didn't have a much support for this venture. My sister was against it and did everything in her power to keep me from going. My fiance was the only one that truly wanted me to be happy. He understands how much my body bothers me. I keep all the lights off during sex, I close my eyes so I won't have to think of him looking at me and practically leap under the covers after I take my clothes off.
The saddest part of this is that I used to love my body. It wasn't perfect by any means, but it had its own sort of beauty. I had a gently curved stomach, a waist, big boobs and nicely shaped legs. Pregnancy stole all of that from me and left shame in its place.
Now I am terrified about possible outcome of my surgeries. I am frightened that I've made a huge mistake. My breasts are so ugly that I get scared when I take off my top. I know there is swelling, so I'm trying not to start crying about it. I have to sit here and silently freak out. I can hear my sister telling me, "I told you so."
I Can See My Waist
I can see my waist now. I think that's the only thing that has kept me from getting upset today. I saw Dr. K today and he says that everything looks great except that I'm very swollen, so I'm going for a massage tomorrow. Let's hope it makes a big difference!
I think I'm going to turn in early tonight. I need some good sleep and a chance to unwind. Thank you, ladies for all of your support. I really needed it today.
Things I wish that I had brought.
A blanket. I wish I had brought a blanket and nowhere I go they won't give you one. Maybe the Dominican Republic doesn't manufacture or import blankets and if they do, they sure as hell haven't made it to Santo Domingo. A warm robe. I figured that this place would be like Puerto Rico and that a warm robe would be too hot--WRONG. Bring both. Bring pyjamas that button in the front and are like dresses. The drain from your tummy tuck is going to hang down and it's a pain in the ass if you're wearing pyjama bottoms. Light Cardigan Sweaters---these are your friend in the early morning hours. Underwear--I'm not sure why I bothered bringing them. I'm not wearing them.
Dr. K added massages into my package. Dra. Nicolas and her team are the ones that actually perform the work. The massages are terrible and wonderful all at once. When she works the rocks that seem to have formed in my back out I want to cry. The heat from the paraffin is so yummy. The lotion feels and smells so good. My weird bag of body fluid that I carry around with me like a creepy purse is full of blood and fluids.
I am also starving at this recovery house. There are no snacks and for some reason I am dying for some chocolate cake. When I get home the first thing I'm doing is taking my kids to Sonic and getting a molten chocolate cake. I'm dying here.
I just want to bathe.
It's killing me not to shower. I want to get clean, have clean hair, shave, feel like a woman instead of this dirty, smelly thing that I've become. I can't go outside. The women at this recovery house are like prison guards. It's like "Office Space" with five hundred bosses coming up to you saying things like, "So...you want to take a bath I heard." Six women come to discuss this with you--all in fucking Spanish which I don't speak. I feel like I have to get out my TPS reports. Dr. K asked me to save the fluids that I collected from my drain to measure it and I had to get out a light saber to protect it. The minute I left to get a massage they dumped it. WTF.
They have signs all over saying how they want tips. Here's a tip--get out of my shit. Do you see me going through your shit? I want to go to the store and get something to eat because I can't recognize some of the shit they serve at lunch. I had to ask 20 people and still had to stay.
Apologies. I was venting.
It is hard to have all these women barging into your space, not letting you leave, not letting you bathe even with your doctor' permission and it's hard not have some sunlight. It's like a dungeon and I just want to go home.
This doctor is probably the best doctor I've ever had in my life. He came to my recovery house to check on me today. He just wanted to see that I was alright. He looked at my drain to see if it was okay, checked to make sure I had enough medicine and then told those women to let me have a damn bath!!! I have never had a doctor come to my house to make sure I was okay--never in my life. Ladies, he's wonderful. I don't regret my decision one little bit. I am posting my breasts one week post operation. I was so scared at first, but I now I see how gorgeous they are going to be. Sundresses, here I come!!
My Tummy Tuck Scar
So, here's the real thing. This is the scar about eleven days post operation. You can see my drain is still in, but it's supposed to go tomorrow. I can't wait simply because carrying the darn thing around is annoying. I forget it, hear the pop and the inevitable hiss of air letting me know I have to fix it--again.
My Husband Loves My Butt
I never said a word to him about getting anything done to my butt, but he looked at it and was in L-O-V-E. I played dumb for a minute and said, "You think it looks different?" He told me that my ass was gorgeous. Dr. K if you ever read this--THANK YOU! I didn't even care about it, but it does look awesome. No, it isn't so crazy and huge? that it looks like I'm storing a spare tire in my ass. It's just a little something to make it round and pretty--and it is.
Butt Pics for Steph!
Now remember I did not want a big butt. I asked just for a little lift. I actually almost skipped the whole thing all together, but my husband is so pleased, lol! I also had to take these by myself, so, they aren't terrific.
Tummy Tuck Scar Update (photo 3 days ago) Oh..and my butt.
Just showing you the little steps. I'm really pretty normal, but my stomach hurts after sitting at my desk all day. I have to lie down.
I think my breasts need to drop a bit more.
I am wondering if it's just me, but it seems like people are looking at me differently now. Maybe it's because I feel differently now? My sister seems really angry about my butt looking good. My caterer who used to hug me now acts like I've got the plague--he gave me the half hug. My sister couldn't wait to tell the whole world that it was plastic surgery--not that I care. I'll give them my surgeon's email. It's more the way she tells people that bothers me.
I'm not sure if it's me or them. Anyway, I got into my old Victoria Secret jeans that have been collecting dust in my closet. I was actually worried at first because I didn't realize which jeans I was putting on at first and they were a bit snug. Then tonight I was taking them off and saw the label--well, hell's bells!! That's awesome!
Going Back To Work
I just did my first wedding of the season. I had to do way more than I had ever in my wildest dreams anticipated, but I guess that's simply the way work goes sometimes. I wore pants that I hadn't put on since I was in my 20's with no problem. I climbed a huge ladder and strung about 300-400 ft of lighting and moved huge buffet tables. I ran steadily for about twelve hours without any discomfort. My swelling went up a bit, but I kept my faja on the tightest setting until the next morning.
I still have scabs on my breasts that I refuse to touch other than to wash them with Dial soap. I try to make sure that eat well (even though I couldn't yesterday). I think my healing is coming along well, although I'd like it to be faster, but I think anyone who goes through this would like that!
On a lighter note, the groom slapped my butt. My reaction was,
"Hey, buddy! Don't be slapping that--someone worked hard creating that butt!" (Not me--that was all Dr. K) Normally grooms do not slap the wedding planner's butt, but this was just that kind of wedding.
Okay, so I'm doing great.
I got home and weighed in at 161 right after surgery. I was weighed a day or so ago and I came in at 151. That's not too shabby! I am getting into things that I haven't worn since I was 20 years old. Men stop in grocery stores to watch me go by and I'm an old lady. THAT'S AWSOME! My husband thinks I HOT and that's the most awesome of all!
My sister is still bitching. I know that compared to her I do worry more about my body and my weight. She said I was a cliche. I don't know why my sister hates me so much. I love her and I'm so happy when she does things for herself. I don't understand her hatred of me.
So I was in the grocery store...
And the cashier stared at me and told me how fantastic my body looked. I gave her Dr. K's number! I will take updated photos soon. It's been over two months and it gets better everyday!
Three Month Mark
19 May 2015
3 months post
I have a photo for you today. It's nothing special, but you can see how things have changed. This is my old bathing suit from before my children!
Okay, it's time to compare.
20 May 2015
3 months post
I want to thank Dr. Eusebio once again for his fantastic work. I feel like a new woman! He didn't burn me, didn't ignore me, took great care of me and changed my life.
Four Months Post Operation
30 Jun 2015
4 months post
Fluff-butt is real. My butt is bigger than when I first had my surgery. All the women who don't think their butt is big enough--just wait. I feel better when I have my faja on. When I take it off then my skin feels tingly and numb at the same time. I know, every doctor would scratch their head at that description, but it's like when your foot has fallen asleep and then starts to wake up. You can feel the tingle, but the sensation otherwise is deadened. I also still swell up when it's off for extended periods of time.
There is a wrinkle down my belly (treasure trail is the spot I call it) that has yet to go away. I'm not sure if it's swelling or what, but it seems permanent. Overall, I love everything. I do have some words of advice.
Have someone that can help you cut the stitches that don't dissolve. I had to remove my own because my husband is too scared of stuff like that and my sister is too mean to ask. Get extra antibiotics when you get home. Just do it, be safe and protect the surgery. Don't take a bath using the water in the Dominican Republic. Bathe in water that comes in giant bottles that has been purified. The bacteria in the water in the Dominican is not something we have immunity against. When you see the posts about women with horrible infections then this is likely the cause.
Pack snacks--lots of them. Recovery houses suck when it comes to snacks and food for the most part or at least mine did (Yasmin's). Make sure the help buttons work in your recovery room. Ask whoever is assisting your physician to check the call button in the room that you're assigned to ensure that it's working. Be prepared to vomit when you wake up and have someone with you that is prepared for it as well. Make sure you meet with whoever is staying with you that night and go over your needs (pain meds, something for your vomit, and make sure that you have some Ensure or Slimfast with you. You will not be able to eat, but you're going to be starving. I suggest the Slimfast because of the extra fiber in it. It gives me gas, but I'd rather fart then strain to poop after the bottom of my stomach has been sewn together. Start eating high fiber foods before you get there and make your last meal one of the Fiber One bars or brownies. This will help keep you from getting constipated.
There are lists of things to pack, but here are the things they leave out.
2. Warm Robe
3. Cardigans or light sweaters
4. Front button everything, but don't bother with pants or shorts.
5. Don't buy a faja before the surgery. You can't begin to guess what size you'll be.
6. Real painkillers. If you have a nurse practitioner or doctor that knows about your surgery then see them the week before your flight. Yes, a week. You have no idea what crazy stuff will happen (snow, floods, stupid pharmacies).
There are awesome lists all over this site, but these are the things I don't remember seeing. I love my new body. LOVE IT. It is worth all the pain, fear, and second guessing. It's even worth me having to stretch myself financially for a bit. My husband tells me every day that I'm HOT. Men half my age flirt with me. This hasn't happened in years. I have worn a bikini all summer long.
I have been lazy these past four months. I haven't worked out or anything. I think it's time to start doing something. I'm making a commitment to doing something every day for my body and me.