(Will update Post-Op!) On my way to Dr. Edgar Contreras TT/ BL/ BBL/ Rhino/ Vag ... Dominican Republic, DO

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*Treatment results may vary

I have just turned 30 and I am ready to work on my...

I have just turned 30 and I am ready to work on my body! I am hoping to get a BBL and a tummy tuck. I have seen great results from Dr Yily based on her website. I am a little apprehensive because there is a lack of darker skinned clientele. Has anyone with darker skin had any surgery with her? If so was the scarring pronounced? How much did the procedures cost?

Greetings ladies! I have great news to report... I...

Greetings ladies! I have great news to report... I got an email from Dra. Yily's office!!! In the original email I sent to her I attached the same pictures I have posted here on realself. In that email I requested a quote for a BBL, and TT. After Dra Yily assed my photo I was given a quote as follows: "The price for fat grafting to buttock, BBL, liposuction of abdomen, armpit, back, flanks, waist is 3,200$USD." This price is great, butit will not be my final estimate. (I am hoping to also get a BL, TT and lipo to the thighs.) She sent me a extensive email that includes every detail of the date scheduling, pre-op tests, meds, payment, surgery process, aftercare, recovery house options and methods to keep in contact with her. I am very impressed! I will be calling her office as soon as I can. I had originally bought an international calling card in preparation of contacting her, but I am out of town right now, and I left it at home. My coworker says I can use her cell later today once we are finished working. SOOOOOO EXCITED!!! I will keep y'all posted...

Sorry for all the typos...I'm not much of a...

Sorry for all the typos...I'm not much of a blogger. I just want to have an active journaled account of my story and the evolution of events in this process. So I called Dr. Yily's office and spoke to Yira Perez. The phone call didn't go as well as I would have liked it to. First off, I had to contend with a failing connection, but it seemed to me that she wasn't understanding everything I was saying to her anyway. I had to repeat myself many times. All I gathered from the conversation was to continue to email Dr. Yily in order to finalize my appointment. This is no critique on her staff's customer service however, I'm just typically an apprehensive individual. You know what? I refuse to allow myself to be negative this time. It is a major decision to have plastic surgery and even grander to decide to have it abroad. I am going to go with Le Flow! There are 3 other surgeons in Santo Domingo that I have been debating on, (Dr. Contreras, Dr. Hernandez, and Dr. Checo.) Its just that Yily has captivated me the most with her results and with the real life reviews I have found online. Hummppf... (heavy sigh), I will re-email her again and try to stay in clear communication with her and her staff. Hopefully, God willing, I will get the surgery day I am looking for and it will be smooth sailing from here...

Hey team Yily! So I been doing the math and...

Hey team Yily! So I been doing the math and thinking over the scars and recovery... I think I might nix the BL. My daughter's father (baby daddy) spoke with me about how he supports whatever decision I make, but that he would advise not to go overboard. I answered him with a quick, "mind yo own G@# D$%& business," type reply at first. But he does bring up a good point. (*Side note drama: He and I are really tight friends, we're sure we love each other, but its complicated right now with the long distance.) As excited as I am, and how confident I am in Yily's skill level, I really don't want to push it.

I chose May 28th as my SX date, however it won't be confirmed until I send my deposit. Deposit will be sent out after pay day on March 21st. I haven't spoke to Yily yet, so my is solely in the Lord that I am sending my hard earned money to the right place. Luck for me I can transfer my money through my online banking no charge! I have been obsessing over the before and after photos from all the Yily dolls post on this site. Its like gather intell before a strike, I gotta know what the hell is going on! Every word has been invaluable. They have calmed my fears, answered my unspoken questions, and lightened the load of pressure I feel about making a wise informed decision. Thank you to all of the brave ladies who have come before me! Real bitches, get tummy tuck stitches!!!

I just re-read what I wrote above... I profusely...

I just re-read what I wrote above... I profusely apologize for the those damn typos. Again, not a blogger and I get way too excited blabbing on to proof read. Once you hit submit there is no editing so urrything is on and popping. I will definitely make a mental note to pay better attention to what I am saying so ya'll don't go cross eyed trying to figure out what the hell I was saying! GN ladies...

So I have been reviewing plane ticket prices. I...

So I have been reviewing plane ticket prices. I don't anticipate purchasing them until I can confirm that I can have the May 28th sx date. But jetBlue has been the most affordable. Even though I live in MD, I will fly out of NY because there were way more non-stop flights to pick through. I have also been looking into buying an extra faja for the trip. I have read several blogs about how drastically the body drops in size as the drains and messages reduce the swelling. Some women say not to buy it, because you never know what size you need. Others have said that they were so upset that they didn't pack a back up one. Reason being that Yily's supply ran out in the size they needed because of the influx of surgeries. I mean what do you expect? Most, (even larger women) are placed in a Medium after surgery and need a Xsmall after the swelling goes down. I figure if I buy a small I can get it taken in if necessary. I like http://www.caribbeanshape.com/. Another is; http://www.annmichellstore.com/detail/index.cfm?nPID=3468. Their selections were diverse and affordable in my opinion. Again I don't plan on spending any money until I get the sx date confirmation, but y'all know we women can never be too prepared! I'm going to try and get the RX Yily recommended from my primary care physician.

Things to add to my shopping list before my trip:

(All of these things I got from other blog spots! I would have to spend a small fortune to buy all of this stuff but I thought it might be helpful for everyone if I just listed everything I have compiled from all of my info gathering. Do your research to find what is right for you.)

Feminine wipes and Baby wipes
Bacitracin (Neosporin)
Large bandaids
Diurex (Water pills)
Mederma/ Bio Oil
Vitamins (vitamin C, iron)
Backless Shower shoes/ Flip Flops
Antibacterial soap
Gold Bond Anti-itch cream or Benadryl cream (or tablet for anti itching and sleep)
Stool softener (A must I heard, nothing to harsh though. Flax seed oil works for me!)
A reputable firming lotion ("LIFECELL ALL-IN-ONE ANTI-AGING CREAM" seems to be number one on the internet) Pricey but supposedly good!
Tylenol pm and Tylenol Extra strength
Dermoplast (Spray on pain relief)
Hibiclens (I heard it can be very harsh! Beware!)
Hand sanitizer
Boppy Pillow (A must to protect that butt)
Toilet seat "Soft seat" cover (For your home toilet)
Disposable Gloves
Maxi pads w/o wings (for garment, to prevent irritation burns) Tampons for menstral cycle
Bromalien (Pinaple extract pills to reduce swelling)
Arnica tablets (Combats inflammation and pain)
Foam board back and abdomen (Crutial for swelling)
Ace wrap
"Wife beater tees" to wear under the garment
Silicone Scar vanishing sheets/ Strips Example of what these can do for you: http://www.rejuveness.com/Before-and-After-Straight-Line-Scar-Pictures-c143.html

Phew!!!! That's ALOT!!!!! Happy shopping Yily Sisters!

Good morning Yily mamas! Blogging todayt to...

Good morning Yily mamas! Blogging todayt to de-stress... I am so excited and ready for the transformation that I want to undergo with Dr Yily. Granted I do have my moment where I'm completely bugging out that I am even considering flying to a foreign country to get plastic surgery! On the most part, however I feel confident and at peace with my decision, (I'm a woman, we need mood swing options! Lol!) Speaking about being a woman, I have read a lot of blogs on here from women bashing their bodies, feeling disgusted, and flat out crying for an excuse to be a sex bomb big booty cha cha girl. It made me sit and consider my own truths about the matter. Will someone read my blog and think of my body as ugly? Or that I am "fake" looking after I am done. Though most of my reactions have been ones of awe and love, I am not going to lie and say that I haven't had the same thoughts cross through my mind about other pictures. At this moment I am taking the opportunity to really examine body fascination. We all want something different, but really the same thing. Beauty. I look at my self everyday nude. Not just like normal shower stuff, or critically or even the occasional booty tooshed-out hot show off cell pic! (Ya'll all know we know how to fake a hot looking super model shot!) Now I'm pulling in my waist in and plumping up my butt wondering what Dr Yily will mold me into. I can put as many wish pics as I please and the reality remains the same, my outcome is in the hands of the Lord through Dr. Yily. Once I do this surgery, I will forever be altered... Deep stuff... On to the original reason I hopped on to blog. I realized yesterday that I never mentioned my body dimensions. I have found it so helpful when comparing a Yily doll's results to potentially what is a realistic result for me. Here they are: (Hope it helps!)

Height: 5'7"
Weight: 153lbs
Bust: 38DD (Could be DDD, I need to be remeasured)
Waist: 31
Hips: 39

What I would like to be:

Weight: 145lbs
Bust: 38DD
Waist: 29

According to http://www.glamourunderground.com/389/ideal-female-body-measurements/ you can calculate the ideal female body "hourglass" figure. I have attached a piece of the article below:

"An Obvious Waist – A a pear or, ideally an hourglass body shape with a waist to hip ratio of between 0.68 and 0.72
You can easily calculate your body shape using this body type calculator.You can calculate your waist to hip ratio by dividing your waist measurement by your hip measurement, or by using this calculator. (Note: For both of these calculations, measure the smallest part of your midsection as your ‘waist’ and the largest area around your bottom as your ‘hips’). If your waist to hip ratio is over 0.72, you need to decrease the size of your waist or increase the size of your hips. And if your waist to hip ratio is under 0.68, the reverse is true."

My original is .795

My wish measurement puts me at .69. I think that will work for me. The next question is figuring out how many cc's of fat to have injected into each buttock for the optimum look. Truthfully I feel comfortable trusting Dr Yily's judgement, but airing on the side of caution I think I will investigate that too. I also want to remember to discuss stretch mark... But that will be for a later entry. Tah-tah sisters, I gotta go file my late ass taxes before the IRS shows up at my house!

Wow. I have been on such a whirlwind... I was...

Wow. I have been on such a whirlwind... I was prepared to send away my deposit to Yily and I had my finances fall apart for a minute. Bills, bills, bills. But everything happens for a reason. The delay has given me a moment to regroup and read more amazing blogs like FoundUmissnewbooty. She's not a Yily girl but her story is even more amazing than her new look. I've read about cellulitis infections, blood transfusions (mzjuicyfruit87). I don't take the seriousness of having this surgery for granted, I just have been so high on the excitement of getting it done and being the me I want to be I need the reality check. One girl is getting emergency insurance incase something goes wrong. Its an extra $250. So worth it. I am going to look into it through the DR Embassy. (http://santodomingo.usembassy.gov/medical_assistance-e.html)

So I have bought many of the items on my post sx...

So I have bought many of the items on my post sx must have list:

1 Fajas Colombianas post surgery post partum on Powernet firm control - Beige - Medium [ASIN: B009AH6HNI]/ $78.90

1 Total Compression Body Shaper Vedette 705/ $28.24

1 Lady Elegance P EZ Female Urinal/ $5.50

1 3D Shaper, All Over Body Firming and Tightening Cream from Expederm - natural skin care & cosmetic/ $33.22

1 Medtech Laboratories Dermoplast - 2.75oz/ $2.91

1 Hibiclens antimicrobial and antiseptic skin cleanser liquid - 8 oz/ $9.29

1 Lipo Express.com Abdominal Board 3005/ $31 ($20+$11 shipping)

1 Hanes Men's 6 Pack Tank/ $14

*****Wish List*****
1 Squeem Magical Lingerie Shapewear, Firm Compression, Vest/ $74.72

1 Pair of Vitalsox Patented Recovery Graduated Compression Socks/ $25.02

*****Wish List cont.***** (Opps I had a few more...

*****Wish List cont.***** (Opps I had a few more items to add)

1 http://medicointernational.com/SC-810 Sculptures Liposuction Foam Sheets/ $58.00

1 Rejuveness Scar Treatment Kit/ $135.00

1 Boppy Nursing Pillow with Slipcover/ $39.98

1 Sunbeam 731-500 Heating Pad with UltraHeatTechnology/ $12.99

I bought most of these items on Amazon.com unless I listed the website that I purchased the items from separately. I plan on buying the rest of the things I need from Walmart, GNC or Vitamin Shoppe. Ugh! The price of beauty...

Soooo... Guess what happened to me. I got played...

Soooo... Guess what happened to me. I got played by my mama! I love her to death, Lawd knows I's do but she palyed me none the less. So I received my last bonus check that I had been waiting for, in the amount of $1500. This check put me at the total $5000+ I needed to get my sx, my plane tickets and pay for the stay at the RH. Well after almost a week of over enthusiastic hugs, unexpected calls, compliments, and random ass kissing, my mom tells me that she needs exactly $1500, (on the day I received my ck mind you), to use as a down pmt on her new Cadilac and that she already wrote them a bad check to pay for it. There goes my sx... She says she will pay me back but I know she won't. It's like a knife to the gut... I love my mom but she played me hard. Anyone listening who has ever been in my predicament, knows what it is like to have the rug pulled from underneath you. Ladies please help me with your prayers that I will get more money so that I can give myself this dream make over. They give you life then they take your money... smh... Until I can come up with some more money from now to May 13th, my sx is off... Damn...

Oh, on a lighter note. I lost a little weight in...

Oh, on a lighter note. I lost a little weight in inches. My new measurements are:

Weight: 153lbs
Bust: 38"
Waist: 30"
Hips: 38"

Not much but I'm not complaining!

God is so good! I am slowly starting to collect...

God is so good! I am slowly starting to collect money from nowhere. The day after my last post I got a check in the mail for $540 from left over grant money, then I received a commission check for $550 today from my employer! I still may need to reschedule the sx but I have my game face back on cause mama is gonna get her new booty! ;D

Sorry I have been gone for so long... I have had...

Sorry I have been gone for so long... I have had to make a lot of changes with my sx date. I guess that's life right? My mom has had spinal surgery and is on the recovery right now. It was nothing life threatening luckily, but she will be on the mend for quite a while. I decided to ask Yily if I can move my sx date to July 8th. She hasn't hit me back yet, but I know she will. I got a promising IM from a fellow Marylander that would like to buddy up with me if I can go in June. I really want to go with her, but my money is going through some changes right now. I took my car in to get a routine oil change and to ask about a little alignment wobble I was feeling when I accelerated. I walked out of there with a repair quote for $1200! WTF!!! Jesus is literally going to have to take the wheel honey... There comes a time where as a woman you have to put your foot down and tell everybody else (and your car) that they have to wait, but how do I find the balance of taking care of my responsibilities and taking care of me? Ay yi yi!!! I got my Diurex pills and my Chux, so thats off the list. The next thing on the list will be a winning Lotto ticket so I can knock off the BS and bring on the BBL...

I have never shared any truly revealing personal...

I have never shared any truly revealing personal information about myself on here, but I am urged to share a small bit of prosperous thinking. I am an open spiritualist and I have many believes about life, love, the Universal Laws and God. I do not deny what feels true in my soul. I decided to pray for inspiration to realign myself in abundance and to let go of worry. When searching for guidance I discovered some motivating spiritual knowledge on the internet. The Romans believed in a mythological Goddess named Abundantia, pronounced: "A-bunn-dan-shea" the Roman Goddess of Abundance, good fortune and success. Her name means "plenty" or "overflowing riches." She has also been called the beautiful maiden of success. I personally hold the belief of one high reigning Lord, but I am open minded enough to process the idea of deities or anointed spirits created by God with specific energies, like Angels or Saints. I discovered a prayer with the specific intent of releasing worry and asking for the flow of prosperity. I am not asking anyone to believe, but I found it positive and uplifting. This is the prayer:
"Beautiful Abundantia, I desire to be like you—carefree and filled with faith that my supply is already met in all ways. Help me replace any money worries with joy and gratitude. Help me open my arms so that Heaven may easily help me. Thank you for all of your guidance, gifts, and protection. I'm truly grateful, and I'm abundantly, joyful and fulfilled. I let go, and relax in the sure knowledge that I'm completely taken care of, immediately and in the future." I really do feel better already!

Wussup my BBL beauties! Thought I would logon and...

Wussup my BBL beauties! Thought I would logon and purge some of my daily happenings... So today I got the notion to try on my highly anticipated post surgery Fajas just to see what it could do for my body pre-surgery and to test the difficulty level to put on. I lotioned and oiled to lube up the old body just in case of snaffoos, and it is a good thing I did! OH LAWDY!!! You should have seen me trying to Vogue out to put those things on! My knee and hip joints were poppn, sounded like Vietnam in my bathroom! My first faja the Total Compression Body Shaper Vedette was totally worthless! I wish I had tried in on sooner and wrote a review on Amazon. For all the trouble to put it on it gave me no support or even real compression! The second one, Fajas Colombianas post surgery post partum on Powernet firm control was worthless too! The material was way way thicker but it was too uncomfortable in the crotch area. It had NO stretch and I couldn't even fasten it closed. I looked like a damn dissected sausage gone wrong! Potentially if I had had help I might have had a better outcome. Overall I give the first one a 1 out of 10 and the second one a 2 out of 10. Maybe I will post some pics and let you all be the judges. Maybe. I don't want anyone to die from laughing so hard that you fall out your bed or computer chair and crack your coconut! I found some other Faja sites from other BBL ladies on here. Fill_me_out used one from this website: http://www.fajatepanama.com/es/linea-femenina/43-ipod-touch.html. She says she has purchased 8 in total and now I see why! I like this one myself: http://www.fajatepanama.com/es/linea-femenina/22-ipod-nano.html. When I get some more money I will buy it and try it out for you ladies to tell you what I think. Alright boos I got go to bed.Before I forget the lovely Eternalsmiles has a weightloss challenge going on and I promised to add a meal plan suggestion to inspire anyone who might want to try the modified lemonade diet I commented about on her blog. Here is the meal plan if you would like to try it: Breakfast: Post Great Grains High protein cereal w/ 2% milk. 3 hrs later Snack: Oikos Greek yogurt (any flavor, yes even an fruit flavor!) No Yopiat because it is not high enough in protein. Ignore the fat content. 3hrs later Lunch: 4-6 oz of Chicken salad over baby spinach leaves with 1/2 cup of babby carrots. You can use dressing just don't be ridiculous! No cheese! 3hrs later Snack: Fiber one protein bar or any high protein bar. Again ignore the fat content. Fat doesn't matter on this diet! 3hrs later have the modified lemonade for Dinner. PLEASE drink water throughout the day! This along with 30 minute workouts every other day is how I lost 20lbs in 30 days... Good luck babies, Mama is sleepy...

Trying to slow my rolls!

I know I haven't posted in a long time. Apologies go all around ladies. I've been swimming in baby father drama. The more I allow myself to reconcile the nonsense that goes on inside my mind the more I begin to understand compassionately the nonsense within him. It's just easier for me to unload my anger (turned caution) and disappointment at his actions before him then to forgive and move on with him. Fearing love is a Son Of A B#%$&!!! I am desperately trying to take my time but he is so f***ing HOT! I had me a Tyrese, "How you gonna act like that?", moment last week... That... "You know we be tearn it up, breakn stuff, that ghetto love..." Damn. (TMI). My bad. I will save the rest for the Oprah show... N-E-Way. I went on the hunt for an inexpensive slimming garment to give me comfort and control while I wait out on having my sx. I found a great faja-esque little number. Its called the Instant Confidence Self Expressions by Maidenform. I found it at Target in the lingerie section. OMG! I love it! Two thumbs way up! It was fairly easy to put on, once you twerk it out past the hips. It has great control and was super comfortable! The price was Bob Barker at only $23.99. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!! That's all for now. I will hit ya'll up again soon, cause as expected from my life there is more drama to report that just might delay my sx again. I know, I know nobody likes a pity-party having ass woman! But I found out I may have to have a hysterectomy. I have to go now but trust I will explain...

Garment pics...

Final diagnosis: Endometriosis...

May 16th I went in to planned parenthood (they don't just do abortions...) to receive the Essure birth control system. When the Dr inserted the guided camera into my uterus she discovered that I had severe endometriosis tissue growing there. Endometrosis is condition where uteral lining grows inside and outside of the uterus. It is a very painful disorder that normally causes infertility. I have, as far as I can remember, always had painful menstrual cramps, but I chalked it up to that just being my lot in life. Now that I know more about this condition I realize that it was a miracle that I was able to conceive my 11 yr old daughter. There were also several pollups (small tumor like growths) that need to be biopsied. She recommended I go to my PCP. Once there my Dr. referred me to John Hopkins. My next appointment coincides with my date of surgery with Yily so I have called off the sx for now, but I asked her to keep the dwnpmt so that I can reschedule after my hysterectomy.

Holy Sha-sha I'm stressing and gaining weight!

Yeah so I'm at 162lb! now after all my hard work to get down to 153lbs! I have to admit I have been cracking out on sweets because of stress. Sugar is like my heroin!!! I ate half a pan of sweet cornbread the other day that I had made for the whole family!!! This is my vow to myself that I will give it up. I want better for myself.

If only to be full of Grace... Amazing.

I looked up the word "Grace" today. I was motivated to understand its definition after a prayer I had with God. I asked Him what I should do when it comes to my finances slipping, my hysterectomy, my mom's dependence on me, my housework, my BBL, my Baby's-Father drama and my anger and frustration towards all of it. I went downstairs and watched and old episode of the Dr. Phil show. A little girl was on with her face blurred out recalling a heartbreaking experience of sexual abuse she had lived through by her Grandfather. Her mother and father were there and they had sought the advice of Dr. Phil to help to put their marriage and family back together. I watched as this family dealt, (with what is in my opinion the worst thing that could possibly happen to your child) with rage, confusion, forgiveness, acceptance and penance as even the Grandfather admitted what he had done and took his sentence. The little girl told Dr. Phil that she didn't have anymore nightmares and forgave her Grandfather for what he had done. At first I was furious. I can't even exactly explain why. I just was. It all seemed too unreal. I was just about to open my mouth to the TV when Dr. Phil interjected, "I hope everyone could behave with as much bravery, strength and love as Grace has..." Grace is defined as: Unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification; mercy pardon privilege charm benevolence; the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful; balance. "Unmerited assistance for regeneration..." That was my most perfect answer. If only to be full of Grace in replacement for my frustrations and remorse. To re-fill my cup I must operate at a higher standard for myself. I am on a path to learn how to respond instead of react. To stand firm gracefully because I deserve the repercussions of that stance. I deserve to enjoy my life...

How does Wonder Woman do it?

Hey RS. Long time no blog... Apologies all around. The love is Real I promise I have just been super distracted. Phew... Deep breathe time. So I have had some personal dilemmas I have been working through lately. First I had a follow up Gyno appointment to schedule my hysterectomy on August 29th. I completely blew it off... I know I am not proud of it. I didn't even call to reschedule or say that I wasn't coming. The truth is I am scared. I feel so uncertain if whether I am in a position in my life to decide if I will never have another child. I was prescript-ed Nuva-Ring slow release hormonal birth control to stop the heavy menstrual bleeding and cramps. It has worked like a miracle. But do I want to have a hysterectomy? I don't know. On top of that I have been out of work since the end of August. I do medical contract work and the work has been few and far between until it has been none. I drove all the way to Cincinnati OH (8 hours both ways!!!), only to be turned down. But I am not spiraling into a cyclone of misery and confusion because I know why God has made this path as it is. I have been on a spiritual journey to be authentically myself. Truthfully. I didn't really like my job, and I just about hated the job I had before that one, so logic would tell me that I must be on to something deliciously wonderful as my next venture. Actually, I love Astrology and Tarot reading. I haven't pursued a career in reading or healing out of fear of judgment from others. But the esoteric spiritual arts is the only path that feels right for me. Some paths require you to be more than you understand how to be, but they all require courage. We shall see. I still want my booty done though! I am praying to get the body I want next spring! Thanks for letting me vent y'all...

The illusive "Back Triangle Pad"

I was reading bkylnbeauty's blog and saw that she found a site that sells the infamous Triangle Back Pad. Go to www.inthepinkroom.com It's a good deal for only $14.99! Look under: [0341 Lower Back Flattening Board- Triangle]. That is all!

pic of b4 of Mzjuicy and back pad...

Repost: Mzjuicy's b4 and after!

Sorry had a rough time putting the pics in sequence!

Wish pictures B4 and After

Another wish pic... I need my new booty!

I got that itch to be a Bad Bitch ya'll!!!

I can take it! I am so ready to make my transformation! I have a pending contract that is destined to lay a whole pack of stacks if I get it. I would work from October 21st to November 29th and get $9300! That's enough to pay my bills and get my body right. I have claimed it and now it is in the Lord's hands. Here is my RS Women's spiritual proclamation:

Hear me God as your child. You have fought to get me to see myself as the beautiful universe You have created for me. I love You as I so love the world and all of myself. I thank You for Your lessons and confidence. You have guided me out of feeling ashamed of desiring what I want and offered me the challenge of going out and pulling in the feminine creative energy to manifest my passions. All of us who are on this path to create the possible have had to be brave, wise, strong and have had to protect our spirit's drive from detour-er's. We have had to be reconnected with being completely-unselfishly in love with ourselves. Insecurity has led to freedom and worry to wonderment. Everyone seeks to get it right on the first try. But we have to, no matter what comes, never extinguish the catalytic spark of our desire...

I believe in my own abundance...

I had a vision today of myself couching down on one knee. My head was down. In my vision I began to meditate on how I have worked at strengthening my self love. A place on my chest where my heart is began to glow gold. The gold spread over my entire body illuminating under my skin until it flooded through to my aura. I saw myself smiling. I came to an understanding that my joy is my treasure. I know now that I will have everything I desire. My 31st birthday will be on February 16th 2014. My promise to me is that I will be in DR the day after my 31st birthday and I will begin my 'Bad B***h' transformation. It is time!

Turmeric Paste: A natural wound healing remedy!

Thanks to RS mama Caligirl76. She mentioned an "old wives" remedy in her blog call Turmeric paste. I looked it up to see what it can do. Here's what I found specifically on scars/wounds: (http://www.healthy.net/Recipe/Health/Turmeric_The_Golden_Healer/47)

Sores/Wounds: Keep turmeric in your first aid kit! It acts quickly to help stop bleeding, plus because of its anti-bacterial quality, will help prevent infection. For cuts, pile on the turmeric, cover with gauze, and apply pressure to the area to stop the bleeding. [Also stated on the site] Apply the paste directly to the affected area, cover lightly with gauze or loose cotton clothing (that will likely be ruined with stain). This is known to help dry blisters up and to accelerate the healing process. Of course, serious wounds require immediate medical attention.

How to make Turmeric Paste:

Turmeric Paste
3 Tbsp. turmeric
3 cups water

Bring turmeric and water to a boil. Let it boil until it forms a thick paste. It must boil at least 8 minutes. If necessary, add more water. Once it starts to thicken slightly, you must stir it constantly to prevent scorching. Store in a glass jar (it will stain a plastic storage container) in the fridge.

More B4 and afters...

Comparison pics...

I think Yily doll Femme Faytal and I have similar body types. She sets the precedent for a realistic expectation. I feel like Sponge Bob (literally), sing "I'm ready! I'm ready!"

Sorry had trouble downloading!

I can't get the caption to save on the photo, but this is what I was trying to write...

The pic downloaded super small! The only clear difference is that I have "Tiger stripes" pre-op and Femme Faytal did not. :P

Yily patient therealmeiscomingsoon b4 and after! Beautiful!

Just comparing TRMCS and my b4 pics!

Dance for you... For all my BBL ladies!

Hey girls! I have been full force preparing for life with the new booty. I even found the "Dance for you..." choreography on YouTube so that I can do a strip tease reveal for my baby father. I am committing to practicing it 30 minutes a day at least twice a week. The young lady bonniemariie2012 who is teaching the steps is not a professional and you can see by the replies she gives to people's comments she is completely unapologetic about it! My advise is just take your time and hit pause to repeat and memorize. I haven't even got half of part 1 down! There are 2 videos. The first is 7 minutes long and the other is like 14 minutes. Below I have added both! Enjoy!

Part 2

Brief list of Recovery houses in DR!

Hey ladies. I found a few recovery house while browsing blogs. I can't rate them but I thought it might be helpful for my sisters. ********************************************
The Real Recovery Armonia: 809-221-4453
Yasmin: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/342687
Angela’s Recovery House
Silhouette Recovery: 829-794-9082
RH 809-221-4453
Cell 849-353-5456
Healing Haven/Curacion Del Asilo: http://healinghavendr.com/room-rates.html

Gianna Colombo – Masseuse: 829-445-0205

Whoop whoomp... Didn't get the contract... :(

Oh well ladies, I didn't get the big contract I was working at. I sulked all yesterday, but I hashed it out with my besties (mom, baby father and hs best friend) and I am re-determined. It was a hell of a blow. But that is what being a champion is you keep fighting. Winners do what losers won't!!!! I'm goin get that ass!

Another Yily creation!!!

More RH names... I don't have ratings, I have just seen them in alot of reviews. Do your research ladies!

Dominga Diaz
Teléfonos: 829 5960126 Móvil : 829 556 1190
Daisy Recovery
Gianna Colombo – Masseuse: 829-445-0205
Juana recovery house: 1-809-780-9635
Bambino was our cab driver
Zara was our Nurse and Massage therapist 829-690-0799


Iyanla Vanzant just changed my life!!!! She just told Terell Owens former NFL player that if money is a problem than you don't have any problems! She told him that money stands for My Own Natural Energy Yield! Mind. Blown. >>>>>> *-*

Looks like I got myself a travel buddy!

Awwww and she is so awesome! She has injected me with a new found since of ambition and determination. She's not going with Yily but we're going to plan our trips together and stay at the same RH to save some cash. Also RS beauties bklynbeauty and mamacita1875 have just crossed over to the flat side! Please send love and healing light their way as the recover.

Correction.... mamacita1987 not mamacita1875!

Sorry dolls. My bad!

Ok ladies so I'm thinking of switching Dr's...

Trust and believe I have been riding hard for Yily since pretty much day 1. But I have been teetering back on forth on Dr. Contreras. I know about all of the scandal surrounding his past and the 2 patients he lost, with that being said if you read back to the first time I started blogging he was always one of my first picks. He was actually recommended to me by one of my co-worker friends. I only didn't pursue him bc I was having a tough time finding his b4 and after pics. But I just saw PAinLa and she looks good! Does anybody out there have some b4 and after pics they can share? Please and thank you!

Uh-oh y'all I may switch all together!!! His quote: TT, BBL and Lipo $3500!!!

It is so difficult to find pictures of Dr. Contreras's work. Recently I was privileged to be invited to join his fan group on fb. I was bombarded before with so much negativity from RS member bashing Dr Contreras because of the 2 very publicized American deaths that occurred a few years back. Deaths are very serious matters, don't get me wrong, but we as hopefuls we have to face the facts that it is a risk that comes with this sx. I am still in my research phase but it has been truly educational and enlightening to really learn about his skill and what he has endured to reclaim his dignity and standing in the community. I have pasted a few pics of his work.

Sorry ladies I took down the pics...

Out of respect for the Contreras group and individual privacy I took down the pics. If you missed them let me just say that in my opinion his work out shines Yily's and that's saying alot!

Yily or Contreras...

I am seriously going back and forth. Yily leave a great TT scar and can sculpt like no one's business. But I have been unhappy with her BL's and belly button scars. Contreras makes natural figure 8 bodies, his BL's are amazing and his prices are great! But meds are not included and I haven't sen alot of TT scars. They are both skilled Dr's. I'm leaning toward Contreras one day and then the next I get cold feet. Idk... I'll keep y'all updated.

Boom baby! I read for my first client!

Its official! I did a reading for a real client! My first one!!! She said and I quote, "Pretty much dead on. Your very good at what you do. Thanks so much! You are very talented... I will make sure to spread the word... since I would like to utilize your gift regularly!" What what! Yaaayyy! I know this is an atmosphere to discuss sx's and that journey specifically, but at this moment this is the real story of my authentic path to becoming my true me, my "RealSelf". I am so over the moon right! (Bad astrological joke) Go me! I felt messages coming through to tell her. I have a mediumship class that I have been studying at that I have neglected to go to lately. Well I am going tonight!!! Boom Baby!

Back to discussing a**! Contreras a** actually!

Guess what I found out yesterday ladies? Dr. Contreras includes a 2 day stay at his RH in your quote aaannnnnddd you DO NOT have to bring any supplies!!! That's a $500 savings right there cause them damn supplies are heavy and expensive! You can get 10 massages for $200 and every additional day at the RH is $80 single rm and $60 double occupancy! Mama likes! I believe 3 meals a day are included too boo! Feeling blessed by the Universe!

Going through Yily withdrawls...

Damn every time I look at therealmecomingsoon's TT I start pheening for Yily! I am a two timer! I can't lie! Lawwwwddd help me figure out what I want! My mom says I should go to both. Ahhh... Ain't nobody got money for that! Hmm maybe that is not such a bad idea... I'm going to sleep on it.

I got another positive review from a reading ladies! So over joyed!...

I got a great review from my newest customer. Not everyone I have been reading has given me feedback. Here is what wonder new client replied to me after her reading: "I'm in tears u have it down to the tee it's as though you've been here my whole life! I believe your gift is real and you should follow it." Love it! I am sooo grateful!


OMG! So it's after the feast I'm super fat and full... :S ooouufff... I have never felt so satisfied in my life before. Even in my desire to change my body, I understand it now as full on a improvement to a beautiful structure, not a desperate attempt to correct a malfunction! Also I have been able to understand the unexpected pitfalls in my life with much more humility and acceptance than I could before. Especially with the baby daddy! Let's call him Big Poppa D. He and I are getting along swimmingly! Its still long distance (whomp whomp) but its working. We Skype just about every night and Poppa puts in work making sure to call me on the daily. Phone sex has become a whole nother art y'all! I love the way he makes me feel so comfortable in my skin! The distance believe it or not is a good thing believe it or not. He and I are hot headed and stubborn. We are warriors of our own cause and we often in the past neglected to absorb the lessons in adversity. We met at 16 and we lovers by 17, pregnant by 18 and over completely by 20. We annihilated and alienated any precious connection we had. We lost our innocence. But we didn't lose the love. It was covered and damaged. Now instead of fighting to deny it we have fought to keep it burning and alive. Now all fantasy aside he did have 2 more children since then and a whole set of personal demons on his shoulders. But he did and I grew because of it too. What a whirlwind it has been, but all worth it! Now at 30 I want him more than I did at 16. He is sooo damn fine ladies!!! I would post his pic, but he would prolly kill me. :) j/k When we "Skype" I dress up in negligee, red lip and a thong most times. But last time all I had was a T shirt and a satin scarf around my head and after we had "extinguished" our passions we told me I was the sexiest woman in the world. (Blush) That man gets my goat...I love him! I am especially thankful for that!

Here is RS member and Dr. Contreras bbl and ba patient shillary!

Check her out y'all she keeps it real... :)

I got another positive review!

My client wrote: "This girls reading was SPOT ON!!!!! Thank you so much! It was really enlightening. Literally brought me to tears. Get your reading from her ladies!!! P.S. what you said about my mother scared me [...] Blew. My. Mind. When I read that part! Thank you!...

I know its just after Thanksgiving but I'm gaining weight!!! Aggghhhh!!!

So I was 153lbs when I started this journey and now I am 170lbs!!! I am not happy with myself right now. I feel so bloated and all my pants are so snug. I threw out or donated all of my size 14 and up clothes because I felt like if I believed in my own progress and will to lose the weight I should not allow myself to have fall back comfort clothes. That's how I had lost and failed to keep it off in the past. Don't get me wrong I love all body types and sizes but I ultimately want to end up around 150lbs post op. So Ima need to slow it down a little. Gaining weight for my bbl has been fun but I just lost 30lbs last year which inspired the ass journey in the first place!

Soooo I broke it off with the Baby father again...

For all those that tuned in last time Big poppa D and I were going strong right? Well there had been a few bumps that I had let go of for the greater growth of the cause. I had told him straight up that if were going to give it a try long distance he would HAVE to call everyday. He explained that some days he would not be able to, and that if he couldn't that I would have to find a way to understand. Well that sounded reasonable right? One night he calls me at 9:00pm my time (7:00pm his time) and says, "I'm dropping J, (his 2nd daughter) over to her mom's. Don't go to sleep! I will call as soon as I get back!" At 2:30am when I passed out from exhaustion there was no call... He calls me in the morning and is like "Ey yo babe how you doin?" I was like uh where was you last night? Why didn't you call? This dude says, "My bad. I went over to Mandy's house and ate dinner and hung out. I am so sorry..." I asked him is he slept over and with her. He said no. But it wasn't his first sleep over with her and that time he said they didn't sleep together. Too much drama and I don't want a life where I have to trust someone that much in order to be with them. He's asking for too much. I will always love him. That I know for sure. But his price is too high to pay for his love and I am loaning away my sanity to afford the debt for what my heart wants. I am doing better than I thought I would after breaking it off... To be continued...

Relationships are Krae... Like crack krae. :/

Hey ladies. No me and Big Poppa D are not back together. He sure did let me know that he's tired of my trust issues and that he loves me more than anything but that if I want it to be over he won't beg anymore. I wish he could understand that its not an issue of trust. Its boundaries. Just because he and her have an "understanding" doesn't mean he and I do. To be perfectly honest with you guys that incident happened in November we fought and made up. What broke the camel's back is when I didn't hear from him for 3 days and had to call his mama to get a hold of him. I told him that I was not cut out for this type of relationship. I have been trying to stretch and be the biggest person possible, to be as trusting as I know how to be but I don't know who I am anymore. What won't I tolerate? I had to end it to hold onto myself respect. To choose me. The kraeziest thing about being psychically inclined is that while I can pick up on others life purposes and intentions I can go full on neurotic on mine. I know who he is meant to be and why we came together in this life. But I am so invested in the outcome emotionally that I lose myself. I was reminded that he and I are soulmates irregardless of the decisions our free will provides. He will have 2 more kids whether it is with me or not. He will learn how to take control over the victory of his own successes even without me cheering him on. I will be taught the importance of self through him whether I'm in a relationship with him or not. Our lives are like divine poetry. All of us are going to learn the lessons our souls require even if it is not in this life. I have been told that whatever we don't resolve now we will get another chance next go round as brother and sister. Crack krae right?

Hhhhhhhhh... Maybe some wish pics will put me in a better mood...

Man I have loved being apart of RS... But I have to shut this chapter of my life down.

What a wild ride I have been on through this site. I have revealed things about myself I NEVER thought I would tell a soul let alone an entire internet community! But I have been made aware by RS community leaders that I have over reached my boundaries when it comes to the guidelines of the forum. I really didn't mean to break rules but I am glad I got the courage to say what I had to say and be who I am as weird as I am as holy as I am. That's life. the world is full of weird and wonderful. To prevent anyone else from reaching out to me for readings or access to the Contreras group I am going to set my profile so that I can not receive messages. If you post and I do not respond know that it is because the communication violates the agreement of access guidelines in RS. I am not going to deactivate my profile bc one day I want to look back at it and marvel at my own bravery and my journey. Maybe someone might get something from the lists that I have made or be inspired by my confessions. Idk. I will add pics if and when I have sx but I don't see myself having any continued journal entry here. Thanks to the ladies that gave me feedback. I had been so afraid to speak up about my gift and now I barely know how to contain it! :) May God be with you all always. Namaste.

OMG 3 more days till I fly out to DR!!!!

Hey Y'all! I know I said I wouldn't update until post-op but I am so excited I just wanted to chime in! I have no doubts about my doctor, I'm so glad I am going with Contreras. His responses are quick, he is reliable and so talented. I am putting the final touches on my pre-op prep countdown. Bc I am getting the Vaginal rejuvenation yesterday, I made sure urrything was smooth and hairless!!! (Wink!) I douched with a Apple cider vinegar soaked tampon 2-4 hours and tomorrow I will take a lavender sea salt bubble bath. (Sorry if its TMI.) I will add a little vinegar to that as well. I have packed all my stuff. I am choosing to travel with a duffle bag that I can stow as a carry-on 'cause I ain't trying to have TSA riffle through my stuff and mess up my organized packing job! I will check it on the trip home .I will post pics of all the things I am bringing. Again Dr. C doesn't require you to bring supplies but a girl can't be too ready for anything! I'm off to get a chin wax and mani/ pedi tomorrow also... Wish me luck guys! Bon Voyage!!!

My Dr. Contreras Review... Preface

Hello RS. I apologize for the delay that I have taken in posting my experience in DR. So much happened there that I did not expect. I have been home now for 4 days and I have authored my final review. Some of you may find my writing dry and uncharacteristic of my usual emotion. I have purposely chosen to write concisely and objectively in order to express my truth. If I could offer you a final analysis of my happiness over my result I would tell you that overall I love my new shape and butt. I have already detailed what I am unhappy with in my review. I will do my best to reply to questions or comments that are above board. I am however deep in the beginning of my recovery. I am still in pain also must maintain my household. Plus this faja is El Diablo and I haven't found a comfortable way to sit down at the computer in it! Even now I am standing up!!! God bless everyone who is reading and may your journey be guided and safe.

My Dr. Contreras Review...

I arrived in DR at 2:45pm. My driver took me to the cardiologist first and we arrived at Dr. Contreras’s clinic and we arrive approx. 5:45pm. I went to the registration office to pay for my surgery and was informed that my surgery would only be $6000. This surprised me because my body surgeries were $5500 and my nose was $1000. I was both happy and excited thinking that Dr. Contreras was either giving me a discount because I was in his group or maybe as a gift. I was assigned my room and got my bloodwork done. I was to have my surgery in the morning as planned. Before the night was over I was visited by a gynecologist who’s name I cannot recall. February 25th 2014, 9:00am the waiting room was full of women waiting to meet Contreras. After about 20 minutes I was requested in to enter his office. He was subdued and untalkative. He looked over the wish pictures I brought him commenting that they were nice pictures. He spoke to me only twice after I reconfirmed what I wanted done. Once to tell me that he cannot do the nose with the body because I will need to be able to breathe post-op. He told me I will be scheduled for that surgery March 3rd. Second he asks me to come with him to his exam room and undress. He marks on my body quietly and carefully without explanation. He takes pictures of me with a digital camera. I didn’t ask any questions. I only spoke to make casual conversation. I left his office within 15 minutes. At approximately 10:45am I am called to go to surgery, put in a wheelchair and at 11:00am I am on the table for surgery. I see a plasma television with my before body images. The anesthesiologist speaks to me about what is going to take place for sedation, 5 other doctors enter the room. One of which is the gynecologist I had met the day before. I am told that Dr. Contreras is in the other room with another woman. I start to feel the effects of my epidural. My consciousness is lucid but I am awake. My legs are propped up for the gynecological aspect of my surgery. I fall in and out of sleep at this point. I woke to see a Dr. on either side of me working. I attempted to ask for Dr. Contreras. I am sedated again. I wake again this time in pain. My breast are being worked on and I can feel the pain of the procedure. I lift my arms asking them to stop and telling the Dr.’s I am in pain in Spanish then repeating it in English. The anesthesiologist tells them to wait and that he will put me back to sleep. The next time I woke, I felt the pain of my arm liposuction. I can see that my arms have been restrained to the table. I complain again. Nothing is said that I can remember. Only minutes past by and I am asleep again. Next thing I remember is being lifted onto the stretcher to leave the OR. I look to the clock on the wall I had seen upon entering. It was now 7:00pm. I am brought to my room. I fell asleep again. Several hours later I was awaken by incredible pain. My epideral had worn off. I cried out to a nurse or anyone for help first in Spanish. I yelled out for so long that the words lost all context for me. I started crying in English that I needed help. No one came. I cried myself into exhaustion. Day one post op came. The morning nurse woke me and I told her I was in pain she gave me a new saline drip and added pain meds to it. She drained my fluid pouch and emptied my catheter bag. My surgical binding was removed. I asked the nurse to take a picture of my body. I was pleased with my TT but very upset with how small my areoles were from my breast lift. I was washed and given breakfast. Woozy, I was visited by Dr. Contreas and the 5 Dr.’s that were in the OR day of surgery. Dr Contreas asked me how I liked my body. Upset over if whether he was actually in the OR and being too embarrassed to ask, I told him I hadn’t taken a good look at it yet. I was ashamed that I had put myself in this predicament. One, to be unhappy with my body and two to be questioning my surgeon’s presence during my surgery. I went back and forth trying to remember if I saw him. It made me lightheaded. That night I had my blood work done. The next day my care was very much the same. I spent most of the day alone. During the morning meal time I was visited by the day nurse who would tend to me. I was told by a staff member that I cannot remember the name of that my hemoglobin had dropped from 12.6 to 6. I was made aware that I would need a blood transfusion with at least 2 units of blood. I agreed with the suggestion. The next sentence I was told was that I would need to pay for it first. I was taken back a little surprised that in such a dire situation that cost would be held more important. I asked for my purse unlocked it and retrieved the money. I paid and received a receipt. The blood was brought in and placed on my thighs to warm. No one seemed too concerned. The transfusion was 7 hours long. I was not allowed to eat during this process. The night staff seemed to be nonexistent. The next morning I was transferred by wheel chair to the RH in the basement. At this point I am taking my own antibiotics and additional pain meds. My stay at the RH was difficult. At first glance I found it accommodating, but as time progressed the staff was lax and unconcerned. I bathed myself and my bathroom was never cleaned my entire stay. I decided to email Dr. Contreras to ask him about my body. I told him I was unhappy with the look of my breast and that I needed him to explain what I am seeing. I chose not to ask him if he had done my surgery I felt it was ridiculous of me to think that. He did not respond. March 3rd 2014 8:30am I went upstairs bent over from my tummy tuck without my breakfast to discuss my nose with Dr. Contreras. I chose not to eat because I knew I would be in surgery soon. I alerted the secretary of my presence. She asked me to sit. I sat and stood repeatedly. I was in pain at every angle. I decided to walk outside to distract myself. I took a call from home that lasted 30 minutes. The room was full of women ahead of me. I took a moment to really consider the amount of women that were waiting to be marked up or seen by him. 2 hours went by. A group of young girls that sat beside me got up when they were gestured to enter his office. About 5 minutes later his secretary called me over to her. She shows me her cellphone. On it is a text message from Dr Contreras that read, “She can have her nose tomorrow.” I was in complete shock. I knew she didn’t speak English or pretended not to. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. As I was walking toward the elevator I was met by Gianna Columbo. She had gone downstairs looking for me to be post op from my nose surgery. I began to tell her what happened and as I spoke the frustration and pain took over and angry tears began to roll down my face. She wiped them and told me to be strong. She said that she can come back tomorrow and that she would offer me a full facial in exchange for the day I lost. I went downstairs to pay for an additional night’s stay. I went back to my room and tried to believe that perhaps there was a small chance he was overbooked? I couldn’t even get myself to believe it. I texted Suze furious telling her about all that I had been through. I got no response from her. I spoke with a member of his staff about how I thought that maybe he had not performed my surgery. The staff member, (who I will not name) told me that there was no way humanly possible that he did my surgery. With the amount of women he sees every day for him to do all of his surgeries would be impossible. He was not in the room when you had your surgery. I was incensed!!! I told the employee that not he or whoever may have done my body surgery were not going to touch my nose! I asked that the employee let it be known that I was not getting my nose done! I chose to pretend that I had changed my mind about the surgery in order to protect the employee’s job. I texted Suze again to tell her what I had discovered. She did not reply. The next day Dr. Contreras came down to the RH to my room to inquire about my nose surgery. He again was in a suit. I lied and told him that I had changed my mind. I told him I had emailed him and that I hadn’t heard from him and that I had concerns about my areolas. With a blank smile he told me to come see him in his office tomorrow. That night a firestorm was set off in the RH because of the poor treatment myself and the other tenants received from the staff. Because of this someone for the first time came to bath me and the sheets were changed on my bed. I checked out in the morning. I went upstairs to see Dr. Contreras and demand the refund for my nose. I knew I couldn’t talk to him about my surgery because I wanted to protect the person who told me the truth. I waited in his waiting area this time only for 10 minutes or so. I entered his office and didn’t wait for any introduction for conversation. I told him that I was unhappy with my breast and that I was also upset that I hadn’t heard from him when I reached out to him by email the days prior. He said nothing. When I finished he asked me to go to his exam room and remove my clothes. He said what is it you have a problem with? I showed him my small aereolas. He said that they looked like the picture. I told him no they did not. I asked him will they change or stretch? He said most likely not. He said in 2 months you will love your body, I promise. I told him I hoped that I did, but for now I do not want the nose. He replied that I could come back at noon tomorrow and he will authorize the refund of my money at the registration office. I thanked him and left his office. I stayed the night at Gianna’s RH. We returned at 12pm the next day. At the registration office Gianna interpreted for me. She told me that the receptionist requested that we speak with Dr. Contreras. I was confused but I figured that he must need to write a note or maybe she hadn’t gotten the message. We took the elevator and walked directly up to the secretary. Gianna speaks to her and a conflict begins. Gianna tells me there’s no money for you mama. What do you mean no money for me?! Gianna calls her husband because his English was clearer so that I could be told what is going on. He speaks with the secretary and then she hands the phone to me. He explains that she told him my surgery was $6000. I told him I know. I explain how originally my surgery was $6500 but that my nose surgery was $1000 alone and that I am only looking to get my $500 that I was owed. I told him to tell her that I have emails that confirm my price. The phone went back to the secretary. Then it came back to me. He tells me that they are not going to give you any money. He tells me that she slipped up and said that she knows that the surgery is $1000 but then she changed her story and said it was $500. When he told her I had emails to confirm the price she told him, that if I thought that I have been emailing Dr. Contreras that I was a fool. That his emails are outsourced through someone else. Bent over I told him that that was enough. I was weak and tired and I needed to get out of there. He objected. Saying that it wasn’t right what they were doing to me. I told him I would never see that money and I didn’t care. While at my stay at Gianna’s I was finally contacted by Suze, 4 days after I had initially contacted her. Granted she may have been busy but she had contacted me every day before I told her about what I was going through. I had been told in the past by anonymous people on RS and FB that Suze worked for Contreras. I had chosen not to listen to it writing it off as gossip and ridiculous nonsense. When I got her response I began to question this as relevant. She insisted that Dr. C had done my surgery and for me to relax. I chose not to respond to her right away. She responded to me again in anger, questioning if I was ignoring her. I responded to her pretending to believe her, saying that I was just unhappy with my areoles. The tension between us lessened. I went to visit another woman who was a member of the Contreras group on FB. I had seen her the day before at the clinic. There at her RH, she tells me that the day I was at the clinic to get my refund that she saw Suze there too. She said, “You didn’t see her? She was right there in the foyer with French braids.” I openly shared with her that I felt that Suze worked for Contreras. That same night I later found out that another member of the FB group, named Karleigh also worked for Contreras in his marketing department. I was appalled!!! I realized I had been deceived by so many people.
I finished the rest of my stay and left on March 11th 2014.

My response...

It is interesting putting your private mistakes out for public scrutiny. What's true: I was a spectator once too reading these blogs and devouring information for my benefit and curiosity. Now I choose to accept responsibility to give back information, hopefully to educate or inform maybe even amuse. But if I don't share, then I would be offering a discredit for all the stories I so greedily stole from in order to pick my path. What I didn't speak on was the psychological trauma I suffered during my journey. Sitting in the dark in my hospital bed bathed in snot and tears unable to get out of my bed to even turn on the light. I don't ask anyone to feel sorry for me. I ask you to consider when it is your time and when you come home in pain. When the bills are still calling and the children are still hungry. Where is your outlet? Who will really understand what you did to yourself? I was motivated by price more than I allowed myself to admit. But I had no problem walking away from the money I was owed. I accepted my mortality when I required the transfusions and had to pay first. My life for $200. To get through the night the second night I pretended that my daughter was in the empty chair in the corner of the room. This was my tool to remember I was going to have to pull myself together and be who I was when I started. When I was a spectator. I am not even a little mad. Sometimes you have to go through it to understand it...

My gratitude...

Women of grace. Women of healing. I recognize you. Thank you so sincerely for your words of kindness and strength. Whether I am a fool or a sage those of you who made the choice to replenish me when you owed me nothing, to you I offer you my sweetest love from the deepest part of my soul. This is how we connect. This how we grow, We share when there is none. Thank you overwhelmingly thank you. I thought I knew what I was doing. But I would have never been ready for what I endured. Your lack of judgement allows me to be more than I am and continue to give. Thank you women. I am proud to be one of you...

4 Weeks and 3 days...

If truth and love are the highest forms of communication then bickering and name calling must be the lowest. I stepped away from my blog for awhile in order to breathe and gather perspective. Truth be told this insight was prompted by my laptop frying and shutting off and my inability to do more than that. This was God's way of getting me to let go. I want to take the time to acknowledge everyone who has been so supportive. I wish I could personally write or reply back to everyone. Your words and thoughts have meant everything to me. I have had two emotional breakdowns since being home. I was just overwhelmed by regret. Any other time I am the one everyone in my life counts on to maintain the strength and faith. I found myself alone and undressing unable to hide from the ramifications of my experience so I let it all out... I apologized to God and myself and wept. Not even prompted by the ugly and slightly insane comments I read. That's not even what effects me here or in life really. It was finally telling my mom what I went through and apologizing for lying to her so that she wouldn't worry while I was out of the country. It was letting myself down. It was the unfortunate unsatisfactory treatment. It was having to except that I had made a huge mistake and I couldn't change it. Once I let it out I was able to be grateful that I was not disfigured or infected. The only thing that shocked me through this process was the venomous backlash by a select few. Really I found those individuals comments strange and overzealous. While everyone is entitled to their opinion here in America, I have decided that I will not relinquish my blog to offer a platform to that kind of rudimentary nonsense. This will be the very last time I will mention the subject as my sole focus is to offer my experience and the observations of my surgery and recovery. I haven't had any complications or setbacks. I have noticed that my areolas have an unsymmetrical shape to them so I will be getting them tattooed at the Vinnie Meyers Nipple Tattooing Center near Baltimore MD this summer. The center's owner specializes in breast cancer survivors or "warriors" as the owner calls these brave women. They are really an awesome company and will work with me for overall color, shape and size for my complete satisfaction. I am excited about meeting the staff. I have faith they can even out the minor differences. On to my further observations: About a week ago I was showering and noticed a stitch thread that was protruding from my right breast near the nipple. I will be going to a local plastic surgeon to find out the prognosis to correct this. I will also be inquiring about my inability to raise my arms above my head while standing. When I attempt to do this I feel a painful tugging in my underarms down my entire upper body. I hadn't noticed this pain beyond my arms until the nerve endings had healed in my breast, stomach and back. All of which had been an odd combination of both incredibly numb and sore. When I investigated the source of the tugging I felt wiry threads starting on both sides of arms starting at my triceps and biceps leading through to my back and forward down my abdomen ending through my tummy tuck scar to the top of my thighs on both sides. The wire threads are also laced along the left and right flanks of my back around my waist. I can feel them through my skin. I do not know if this is a normal and typical practice of Dr. Contreras's surgical team so at this time I will not critique the validity of this procedure. I will note that the internal binding is incredibly painful to endure when standing, sitting, reaching, bending and stretching. When my pain meds are in my system adequately I am only in slight pain. The pain does not go away completely however. I hope that as I heal this pain will subside. I will add pictures of these threads as evidence to my blog when I visit the surgeon who will be investigating the necessity of this internal "corset". He will take the pictures. I want to apologize in advance if I am unable to respond to your messages and comments because the amount is too numerous. But know that I read them all and am moved and grateful! I will update my review in weeks. God bless.

The Dream Barbies Recovery and Spa by Gianna

The second recovery house I stayed at in DR was: The Dream Barbies Recovery and Spa by Gianna. I felt at home a well taken care of. It was all about the food! 4 meals a day, 3 smoothies... BUT THE MASSAGES THO!!!! I am not sure if I am allowed to speak more in-depthly about my positive experience as it may be seen as advertising, but please know that I had a QUALITY experience there!

8 week update...

Hello ladies and everyone. I have reached the 8 week po point and its time again to update my status. First: At my 6 week point I had an overnight stay in NY where I didn’t shower in the morning because I wanted to wait until I got back to my own house where I had my own sterile supplies. When I got home directly under the center of each breast I had open wounds that were weeping! I was totally freaked out. My brother took me to a local urgent care clinic and the Dr told me I had an infection. He prescribed me double strength Bactrum oral tablets and topical ointment for 10 days. 3 days later I had my appointment with my PS. I of course, didn’t have enogh battery life in my phone to take pics! I met with Dr. Ayman Hakki from Luxxery Cosmetic Surgery and his Nurse. The appointment cost me $150. He assessed my whole body and my open wounds. Because he had been a Dr. I had considered previously before my trip to DR, Dr Hakki had a file on me from February 2013. He showed me that in his own hand writing that he had stated that between 4-6 weeks that I should anticipate the “T” scars base to separate as the heavy suture erupts. He assured me that I indeed did not have an infection but a pre-planned natural separation of the skin. He complimented my results and said it looked like something he would have done himself. (Yeah if he only knew!) His nurse took over and began plucking the tiy sutures that had as she put “spit” out along my surgical sites. She then taught me how to do a wet to dry packing bandages under each breast. I decided to take the antibiotics for a total of 7 days just in case! Here are some pics of the open wounds:

I don't hate my new body...

I haven't lost perspective of what I looked like pre-op. I see myself healing well and coming together better week by week. The pain has not ceased! The burning, aching and itching are the worst! I went on Groupon and found some vouchers for $45 90 minute Swedish massages with sauna treatment! Sweet! Please take care of yourselves ladies. I know I have displayed terrible internet etiquette with my lack of responses Here are some pics of my progress:


The internal "Corset"...

Okay so about my internal corset as I put it... At my PS appointment it was explained to me that the "threads" I felt were actually scar tissue. Severve scar tissue, but none the less scar tissue. A relief at first until I was told that I will need to do daily stretching to exercise the tissue or it will permanently hinder my range of motion. Elagantly put as possible, it hurts like a b@#$h! But I have to stretch through the pain. Damn there goes my po dream of becoming a pole dancer!

More pics...

Dr. Edgar Contreras

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