Log for a Long Painful Journey - Denver, CO

So did you start your treatment yet? How was it? I kinda concern about my asian skin type.

Thanks so much for your reply! Right now I just concern about my asian skin type, not sure laser can react well for my skin type.

Thanks so much for your support. How is your treatment going?

Thanks so much wilks! The only concern I have is just my skin type since I am asian

Sorry, that was a bit unclear. I meant, when you went through a period of feeling very sad about it, then maybe later felt you could accept it - it could have been an adjustment period that some people do go through, and you could end up liking that tattoo :-) Otherwise, it's nice to have it off if that's what you want.

Hey. I'm sorry to hear you haven't achieved full clearance. Can I ask whereabouts the tattoo is located on your body?

Yes, sorry it is on my wrist. I know they say that areas closer to heart have the best clearing, so I do see that I am at a disadvantage here. I am still undecided if I will continue treatment or not....it is really faded but I want it gone...yet I do not want to cause further trauma to my skin. I am going to wait 4 months in b/w sessions and go from there. I was just letting Chenwu know my personal experience...like if I had a really nice tattoo, but just didn't like it, I would not undergo laser removal knowing what I know now. I just chose to get this one treated b/c it is on my wrist and was really crappy. My other nice one will never be lasered.

Oh and it is really small.......only 1.5 inches. Anything bigger I would be very hesitant, unless I knew I was getting a cover up.

So true! I have had mine treated for 3 years, and full clearance is not going to be a possibility. People should definitely consider whether they would prefer to keep the tattoo vs. having some slight remainder of it (though that could be covered up with another tattoo). In my case, there are also scars.

Hi Rachel, have you had several treatments? Whereabouts is your tattoo located, if you don't mind me asking?

Yes Rachel, I am starting to lose hope. I only just found this website at about my 5th session...and even then saw very few stories of successful removal in regards to what I was hoping to see. I was originally getting treated by technicians; however, the last 3 treatments I had I were done by an actual licensed Doctor b/c it DOES take proper skill by the right person...some technicians just have no clue what they are doing!!! Although I am now getting better results, I still don't know if it will ever really be gone. I do know that TIME is a larger factor than what many ppl make it out to be...in fact, my doctor will not take me if I do not wait a minimum of 4mo in b/w sessions. He could have easily tried to get me in for the money, but this guy seems to really care and I am very fortunate to have found him. I cannot tell you how many consultations/clinics I went to and ended up leaving thinking to myself "these ppl are just about the money and really have no clue". I honestly think everyone should wait months in b/w treatments, because our bodies do the majority of the work and the laser is very traumatic. Best of luck to you; I hope yr tattoo continues to fade as you wait...I know I am hoping the same for mine.

Actually after reading your friendly comments, I was really hesitating, because seriously, right now, I don't hate my tattoo that much. Just because some culture stuff and other stuff really affect me, for example, my girlfriend's parents' perspective, etc

Hey Chengwu, I am glad you read my comments. Like I said I have been perusing around on this website for the lat few months. I will end up writing a review, but need to gather my photos up. Basically, I guess I have seen and experienced the results for myself...and like I said, I have a small 1.5inch tattoo. When I see others on here, especially with really nice tattoos, I get really concerned for them....b/c the lasering process is no small task. Not only is there no guarantee of removal, it's very painful, costly, and in my opinion, scars people with a ghost of their former tattoo. It's also VERY emotionally taxing. I have been having a rough time dealing with occasional headaches and just weird stuff. I fear that the release of the ink toxins may be playing a role in this. It's all around just not cool. I love my other tattoo, and I do want more, but I decided on removal for this little one b/c it is on my wrist and it's poorly done. Otherwise, laser would never be in my life. I guess I just wish the first place I went to for treatment (and yes there are MANY clinics like this), would have been honest and upfront with me. In my opinion, they withheld information and "sold" their services to get my money, not really being upfront with me about the true pain, cost, time, etc. I know for a fact that many treatment centers are doing this, just to get paid. It's sad really. You don't know until you experience it yourself, but then it's too late. My doctor now is very upfront and honest, and if you do seek removal please go to a Doctor who is skilled. I personally think your tatt is sweet and I wouldn't laser it if I were you. Stay tuned for my review.

Also, I meant to tell you friend to friend....I understand cultural/social pressure. I have actually been working through some of those thoughts myself since this whole process began, bc my life has changed a lot in the last 2 years (career, relocation). What it boils down to after the fact: we are who we are. We are all different and that's what makes us unique. There is a lot of stigma to get people to fit this "mold", but it creates paranoia and regret of living one's life the way the want, bc they are afraid to be different Just be yourself and love yourself, regardless of what decision you make. A tattoo, at least for me, is a keepsake of time and a piece of me. And that is beautiful.

You talk some real sense, you really do. I just had a moment in my bathroom where I just stared at this monster I've created on my arm. Part of my daily struggle is the not knowing. I hate not knowing if this brown shadow will be permanent once this majority of the ink has moved on. I hate spending 90% of my waking day thinking about this tattoo. I hate knowing I've got myself in to this mess. Sorry, just on a bit of a downer this week it seems :(

Hello oneTime2many, have u ever think about like get couple treatment and then have a nice cover up?

Same here, actually every time I watch my bands' concert, I felt super powerful inside, but every time I think I am going to be a father or something, and what my daughter or son is going to think about me, this emotion is killing me. I cannot sleep yesterday actually.

Hey Wilks...sorry, I knew posting my doubts and experience would possibly have brought a few people down who are undergoing treatment...it always sucks a few sessions in, as you (I) keep waiting for "that next treatment" when the tattoo will be gone. In fact, I didn't even start documenting my removal (in terms of pics or anything) until after my 5th treatment. I was SO assured by the consultant at my 1st clinic that it would be removed after 6 sessions max that I just kept trekking through. It wasn't until after my 5th-6th session when I realized that the progress was dwindling. That wouldn't have bothered me so much really...the pain of the laser sucks but it is tolerable. What bothered me the most was that my skin kept getting more irritated and I feel like I now have some permanent hyperpigmentation. Also, the constant worry and lack of expected fading really took a toll on me emotionally. I also now got kinda sluggish and headachy for a few weeks+ after each session, and I never experienced this in my life before. I do believe it is related to the trauma of the laser and the toxins from the ink. I guess I just know that we can only really understand something AFTER we have gone through it. Had I known then what I know now, I would have probably just gotten a cover up, or at least sought out a real Doctor from the get-go, not a technician. I decided that I am going to start a review on here to help myself, and possibly help others. Perusing this website has helped me a lot and I hope that I can do the same to someone else. You need to stay strong and know you are not alone here. Take care of your body, exercise, drink plenty of water, and make sure your clinic is treating you right. My 1st one wasn't, but b/c I purchased a package deal upfront, I trapped myself. I'll go more into detail in my review. I sincerely hope you stay positive and don't lose yrself over this! There is always an alternate, whether it be getting a cover up or taking all the time you need in b/w each session.

Yea, I really wanted it gone b/c it's on my wrist, and the design was a spiral so a cover up would have to be pretty dense. But, I'm really considering it now b/c it has faded a lot. I have to wait another 4-6months though to let my skin heal...but yes, a cover up is something I am definitely considering.

Hey Chengwu, I just want you to know I am not trying to talk you out of laser treatment...I just know that it has been really hard for me, and mine was so small. When I look at my one tattoo that I love, it makes me strong, as it was and is for me. Yes, maybe others do not agree with tattoos, but it is for me, it is who I am and represents me. I used to worry, like you, about what other people thought but now I just want to be happy. And i really do like tattoos. The whole tattoo stigma is overrated in my opinion. I understand getting bad ink and wanting to get it removed, but a tattoo by a good artist is something beautiful. If I knew the laser was guaranteed 100%, I would say go for it. I just have my doubts. I am going to post a review on here w/ pics so please stop in.

Thanks, it should be up in the next day or so :)

Hey oneTime2many - don't be sorry, one thing I'm learning rapidly with this whole experience is to make sure you maintain realistic expectations throughout the entire process. It's such a bag of mixed emotions! I was down before I started the treatment (when I made the realisation that I wanted it removed) because I knew it would likely be at least a year to put things right. Now I've started treatment my spirits have lifted slightly as I can begin to see things happening, but are tainted by the fact that it (I feel) could be going better (in terms of skin pigment change etc). I know I probably have at least another 6 months before this thing has faded down significantly, and I worry what'll be left. Some days I wonder about the excision route - as I know the pigment would literally be lifted out - then I remind myself how costly it would be and again, it would still be a long term thing as more than one excision would be needed. When I take a step back and think about it it seems very extreme. Most doctors on here don't advocate it (versus laser) but I've read the odd account that does make it sound appealing. Is it something you've ever considered?

Hey Wilks--I do have to say that if you give yourself time, all things will heal. I have noticed that the longer I waited b/w sessions, the more the redness would go down and even the fading. I guess I am just kinda pissed that A LOT of places out there are not upfront w/ people seeking treatment...like they say "oh yeah 2 months". That's bs in my opinion. They really should be saying 3-5 mo intervals. You save a ton of money, the ink still fades, and your skin has time to heal. Also, I just wish the people using these lasers were more controlled by the health department....it's just such a grey area...there are so many variables in tatt removal and I think anyone who operates the laser should be very skilled to know what to look for and give/have realistic expectations, and unfortunately not many are (from my experience). Just my opinion though..there are some very skilled Doctors/technicians out there, and if you found one, you are lucky. I have considered excision, but my wrist is a very tender area. It is an option for some, but not for me. It is timely though too and if larger, will take multiple sessions. I personally would rather have a tattoo cover up if need be.

All very true. Part of the difficulty is that pretty much all of us go in to this completely and utterly in the hands of the technicians. Sure, we can look in to the basics and inform ourselves about the potential side effects etc but when it comes down to the actual treatment - the fluences, the spot size settings etc - we have to completely put our trust in them! You're right about the regulation thing, it is worrying. There are some horror stories floating about where you just know some places are in it for the cash. Once you've skimmed over that small print and signed that waiver, bam, you've got no real options should things go belly up (legally speaking). I think the waiting between sessions is open to debate. I think 6 weeks should be the bare minimum to ensure the surface is healed properly, but after that it's difficult to determine how much more fading will occur. There are so many variables involved. Someone with a really active, healthy immune system who exercises a lot might encourage the vast majority of fragmented ink particles to be moved on in the first few weeks after treatment. Someone who perhaps isn't so healthy and exercises less might experience a much slower dispersal of those particles small enough to be moved on. It's really down to the individual, the tattoo, the location, their lifestyle etc. Also, someone removing a discreet tattoo (say on their back) might be happy to wait 4 months in between sessions, whereas someone with a tattoo that's less discreet might not want to wait for that long, especially if they're pretty distressed about the whole thing. The money thing is a killer though. It's all about getting the balance right!

Hey Wilks, you have some points there. Everyone is different and heals diff...and every tattoo is different. There are many variables. I just know that after seeking consults with at least 5 diff places, it's like they all treat every removal the same: laser it, bandage it and go. They never really discuss the physics behind it (for your particular variables) and sometimes I think they have no idea with the settings! I even went in for a test spot somewhere else and after like 2 seconds, the laser was creating immediate pinpoint bleeding on my UNinked skin! I told her stop and just left that place. It was terrible!!! they said it was normal, she even had her manager come in to reassure me...but the laser is not supposed to react to uninked skin! I called the machine's manufacturer and he said that the tech should not be practicing. It's all sad really. Like, if I didn't know this BY MYSELF, I would have gotten terrible treatment. I do think removal is a viable option, but b/c of all of the variables of the tatt, (the ink, the size, the depth, the location, the application, etc) and all of the variables of the person (skin color, skin type, diet, health, healing response, etc) this process should not be taken lightly. And I guess that is why I would advise some people to rethink the laser...b/c they may have some unfavorable variables which could most likely produce results that are not expected/favorable, and then couple that with a possible poor technician...it's just so risky.