Hello everyone. For the past week I've been quite...
Hello everyone. For the past week I've been quite the regular on this website, and first and foremost..thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I feel so much less alone in this situation. So here's my story. For the past couple of years I wanted a larger, colored tattoo. I have two other tattoos that I'm perfectly fine with and I've always liked tattoos when I see them on other people. After waiting this long I figured I wouldn't regret my decision. Well...I was wrong. Since getting it - a week and a day ago - I have obsessively searched for ways to get it removed. It's not an ugly tattoo, it's just the size of it is shocking to me. Maybe by the time it's healed enough to start laser treatment I'll have a change of heart, but right now all I can think about is wanting to rip it off my skin. I've already had two consultations and have one more on Monday, and am gathering the information so that when the time comes that I am actually able to start, I will have had time to mull it over, get educated, compare places that do the procedure, etc. The only problem is there is a chance I could be leaving the country for a year this summer...so basically I'd get two sessions in and then not have access to a treatment until at least a year later. I know it's going to be expensive and painful, but I figure if it upsets me this much, a few years of painful treatments is better than a lifetime of feeling like there is something that doesn't belong on me.
I think the worst part of this is how it has affected me emotionally. I've gone back and forth between having good days and bad days...but sometimes I feel like I just want to crawl up in a hole and not leave until this is resolved...which would be a long time in a hole!
Like I said though, everyone's stories make me feel a little better and less alone. So keep them coming, and I will be sure to update everyone with my situation!
Still thinking this whole thing through...
I keep going back and forth on what to do about my situation. One minute I'm thinking I'll just keep it and forget laser. The next I'm thinking maybe I can just get rid of one part that bothers me the most. Then I think I'll just go for the whole thing. The scariest part of this to me is the fact that there is no guarantee it will be gone, and what if it looks worse after! With the colors in mine (dark purple, kind of a khaki green and darker green, coral, and of course black) and with the size of it..I don't want to end up having a mess. I just don't know what to do. I guess I still have about 4 more weeks till I can even start laser, so hopefully in that time I'll have come up with an answer. :(
My plan (today)
As I said above, I keep going back and forth....but what I am thinking is maybe start removal on the part of the tattoo that is really bothering me ...which is black shading and the coral color....and see how my body does with that. Also have them test a few of the other colors to make sure I don't end up doing those and ending up with a giant black smudge effect on my back! What do you guys think? I know it would drag things out to not just start all at once..but I'm just so scared of making things worse. Ughh. Like I said, I've always liked tattoos, but all I can think about right now is how much I want my skin completely clear of ink! Including the other two small tattoos I have that I LOVED before this happened. I hate this whole thing and can't believe it's happening. I feel like I'm in a bad dream and I'll wake up and it'll all be over..but obviously that's not the case.
Here's my tattoo by the way
Like I said, it's a very well done tattoo. It's just so big and makes me completely self conscious.
If any doctors could give me their opinion on how the purple and the light, khaki colored green in the leaves might do with the laser, I would appreciate it. I was told by one place they could possibly turn grey or black with treatment from oxidation and now I'm terrified of starting something and making a bigger mess.
Soul Searching Through This Situation
Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing ok today. I had a bit of a rough weekend. It's my birthday today and this weekend I just didn't feel like celebrating at all with all of this going on. I've just felt so bad about this whole thing, and haven't told anyone what I am going through because I'm so embarrassed. I think what has upset me most is my reasoning for getting this tattoo. Like I said, I have two others...one I got when I was 18 and one I got just two years ago. I never even think about the one from when I was 18 (it's small, on my foot and fading..has no meaning to me except that I was 18 and who doesn't want a tattoo then!). The one from two years ago does have meaning, and so does this new one...but after getting this one and feeling like it doesn't belong on me. I've really done a lot of soul searching. I've come to realize that none of these really matter to me and I almost feel like I was trying be someone I am not by getting them. Like I said, I've always liked tattoos on other people, and I almost feel now like I was trying to be someone I am not. Which is a tough pill to swallow. I'm 28 right now, and for the past few years have felt like I don't really know where I fit. I have plenty of friends and family, I just have felt very unsure and bit lost with myself...I guess a bit of the quarter life crisis situation going on. I hate that I am figuring things out the hard way, with a large tattoo that will take up to three years probably to get rid of. But I guess that's life. Sometimes you learn things the hard way. And in the grand scheme of things, 3 years of painful, stressful treatments is not THAT long. Is it short period of time? No. Will it be easy? No. But that's the price I have to pay, and it will certainly make me a stronger person. I do truly believe that.
I still have a bit of time before I can start..so I will continue thinking about what is right for me. But if I do decide to do it, I am going to do everything in my power to not let it take over my life, to stay positive, and to try and look at the silver lining in all of this. I hope you all who are going through this situation try to do the same. Take care of yourselves and try to stay as positive as possible, because that will certainly help the body do its job in getting rid of ink and help you mentally stay strong. And if anyone needs to vent or needs a pep talk, please don't hesitate to message me. We all need to remember that even though the situation sucks..it won't last forever, and it certainly won't define the rest of our lives.
On a side note, I've been doing some research and the lymphatic system, and some of you may be doing this, but if you google lymphatic massage you can learn how to do this on yourself at home. It may help the body do its work, doesn't cost anything, and is good for the body in a lot of other ways as well. I also something from the health food store that is supposed to stimulate the lymphatic system with red root.
Oh..also considering partial...what do you guys think?
I forgot to say this, I've also been going back and forth between getting partial removal. The part that makes me most self conscious about this tattoo is that bottom half of the compass...with the petal sitting on it. Very pretty in theory, but the placement is making me crazy. When I move my arm AT ALL it that bottom part stretches out and it looks HUGE. When she put the stencil on my I didn't notice that because I either didn't think to move my arm around much or not being filled in it just wasn't noticeable. So my other option is maybe just removing that and having someone touch up the bottom of the compass to make it one that doesn't "flip open". Does that make sense? While this would cut down on money and would be easier because it's mostly shading (except for the petal)...I then wonder if I would just end up going through removal twice. Ughh. I wish there was an easy answer for this. Or a time machine.....wishful thinking :)
Small test area done - question for you guys
Hey everyone. Quick question. I had a small test area done on the large tattoo as well as a tattoo on my left shoulder (about 2 years old). The one on my shoulder is now red and a bit swollen but the one on my back (the newer one) is just swollen but is not red, blistering..anything. I know it's just a small area, but she said she was going to do the test areas pretty aggressively. Do you guys think my lack of reaction is due to it being a small area....or should I be worried since I hear blistering is what leads to greater fading. Thanks everyone....and sorry for the billion updates before I've even started removal!
Any thoughts on oxidation, guys?
Hi everyone! So it's been a little over a week since I had the test spots done on two of my tattoos. Originally I saw fading of the script on my shoulder immediately, but it kind of seems to not be doing anything now :( . The leaf she tested on my back didn't get red or blister at all, but now it has been peeling a bit and seems to have had quite a bit of fading actually. The picture I took this morning doesn't even show the amount of fading compared to the rest of the tattoo. I'm wondering about the color of the leaf now and if it might be oxidation happening. The color in the bottle was kind of yellowish-greenish-brownish color and after having the laser the brownish tint seems more noticeable compared to the same color in leafs that haven't be touched with the laser. I don't know if this is just the actual color showing now that the shading has disappeared or if it is oxidation. Have any of you experienced oxidation with a color, and if so, have you seen it continue to fade with treatments.
Pretty much everyone I've talked to has said if it oxidizes it can still be treated..they would just use the wavelength for black or brown. But one place I went to terrified me by saying they wouldn't suggest treating this color because if it oxidizes they can't do anything to get rid of it (they compared it to flesh tones in cosmetic makeup...they said the same with the purple in my flowers and compared it to cosmetic lipliner).
Any input you guys have would be soooo appreciated :) Thanks!
Ooops...other picture didn't upload
Here is the one that I took this morning
Another question for you guys - scarring from the actual tattoo?
Hey guys. Quick question. It's now been a little over 6 weeks since I got this tattoo, so I am technically able to start removal. I am still waiting though to make sure I am 100% sure I'm ready to go through this very long and expensive process (mentally ready, financially ready..and prepared to deal with the whole "unknown" part of this tattoo removal business). So the wait continues. I also feel like at least getting started with the Picosure/Medlite combo would be my best bet due to the purple, greens, and light blue in my tattoo and there isn't a Pico where I live yet. There is one where my family lives in Texas..so I may be able to swing getting treatments during visits.
Anyway...my question for you guys is about scarring from the actual tattoo. I noticed tonight that on certain parts of my tattoo, the outline feels raised. I'm wondering if this is scarring and if it is, how does scarring from the tattoo affect removal? If anyone has any insight on this, I'd appreciate it!