395 cc gummy bear, 5'6" 115 lbs, Can't believe I'm doing this!!!

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So...I used to be a very natural girl and would...

So...I used to be a very natural girl and would have never ever ever ever believed you if you told me I was going to even consider breast augmentation! But, alas, time has a funny way of changing things. I'm 5'6" and 115 lbs when I'm being good. I used to have a full B/small C cup that looked perky and cute. I never minded having a small chest and since I was pretty active/athletic I was thankful I wasn't like my friends who were hauling around big breasts in super strength sports bras. I always said--if I had to pick smaller or bigger I'd pick smaller! That was until I had three beautiful children and breastfed them for a total of 6 years. Not only were my breasts left sad and saggy -small B/more likely A cup but I had varicose veins and an umbilical hernia. Insurance fixed my veins and my hernia. I really didn't care about my breasts other than how annoying it was that they literally fell out of bras when I laid on my side. It was after my divorce that I got to feeling self conscious about showing my naked body to someone new. I met a nice guy who I've been with for several years-we spend the entire summer at the beach and all of our friends are considerably more shapely. I never really minded until I was getting opinions on fixing my hernia and offhandedly asking about breast augmentation while I was there. I teased my boyfriend with the idea--he would have never suggested it, but being one who likes flashy things he thought it was a great idea. I got a few more opinions and finally jumped on the bandwagon when one of my friends got hers done. I went to the same doctor as her and people who she knew but he never felt quite right. His personality was strange and he kept telling me I didn't need it-and when I asked him what I might expect with certain types or cc's he wouldn't give me any suggestions. I realize he didn't want to be held to any certain cup size or outcome--but I needed some idea of what I was looking at. My first visit with him I selected the smallest implant he had. Saline 175 cc's. He only did saline because he said the gel would leak all over your body and then you'd need an MRI and it'd be a mess. I worked my way up to 225 cc's (mentor submuscular) after another visit and with no good help from the surgeon and even had a surgery scheduled when a surge of sickness went through my house finally leaving me with pneumonia (I never get sick!) 5 days before my surgery. I had to reschedule and I felt like that was a sign.
I thought I should just call the whole thing off but then last minute on a night I couldn't sleep worrying over the whole thing I decided to visit a surgeon I had talked to 2 years earlier about fixing my tummy and possible breast aug. I didn't like that he had recommended over 400 cc's for me but liked how competent he seemed. On my most recent visit with him (last Friday) I went in wanting saline implants through my underarm (I was SO freaked out about the scar under the breast that the first surgeon insisted on). This Dr told me he strongly recommended the new cohesive gel/gummy bear implants because they were having such great results with them. Also given my small size and lack of breast tissue rippling would be a bigger concern with saline and since I live in a bikini several months out of the year, that panicked me. He reassured me about the silicone leak issue as well as the fact that it's new in the U.S. (not new in other parts of the world and has a great track record). He took a million measurements and calculated size options that would get me in the B-C range I was looking for. I nearly passed out at the 400 cc ballpark again but he said even though I'm not large, my breast width is at 16cm. He said 200 cc would hardly do anything on my body. The only method of placing this implant well is under the breast so I'm back to that dang scar...which I hate...but I guess it's a trade off. They had one spot available on my date (that I had arranged childcare and my work schedule around) so I took it as a sign and booked with them. I'm feeling a little panicked but I tend to jump in when I finally decide something. I haven't researched these gummy bear implants nearly enough so I'm hoping to find some reassurance--not as many of those out there it seems. Also worried about looking too big and bulky and feeling that way when I work out. I don't want anyone to notice..though at that size I know they will...sigh. My boyfriend says no point in doing it if you can't tell...but I just want boobs that don't disappear when I lay down or form weird shapes when I lean forward. Did I say I selected 395 cc? Cohesive gel-mentor.
Any thoughts/advice/reassurance?
I have surgery on a Thursday and am call for work starting the following Monday. They said I should be fine (I can avoid lifting but I do have to lift my arms up to about my shoulder height to do my job) but from the stories I've read people don't seem to be feeling that great so soon. I have some hard hitting drugs that I've never taken prescribed to me and that has me a touch worried...
Okay..this is such a ramble! Sorry...will be more organized next post-maybe..just laying my stream of thoughts out there. Thanks for reading and for any advice/thoughts you have to share!! I'll try to post some pics from my phone. Feels weird!

Before pics

Ummmm... I'm not good at taking before selfies apparently. Will have my boyfriend get some better ones before my actual surgery.

Drugs drugs and more drugs!

Holy cow--finally finished filling my scrips. Seems like an awful lot of drugs! I am not a big fan of how I feel on them so hoping I don't need them-haven't taken any of them before so a little nervous about side effects. I am taking an antibiotic (Bactum) for 30 days! Anyone else do that? Oxycodone (percocet) and Diazepam (valium). Emend for nausea ahead of time (that one pill almost cost me $100!--it better work!) and Celebrex.
Seems like a lot to manage....
Also reading about stool softners and arnica on here...not sure if I should jump on that wagon...??
And also doubting this very large seeming size (395cc--I initially had selected around 200cc) I ordered it and it's done so I'm just trying to remind myself to trust the Dr.
On a good note--I got my house all cleaned-so that's exciting!
Okay..enough stalking realself--way past my bedtime!!

My last Friday with my original boobs! A bit sad :-(

Other than second guessing everything... My newest thought is that I should go with the fat transfer procedure. I'm crazy. Called my ps... They said I don't have enough fat and would only gain about a half cup in breast size.
That might be enough... Poof them out a bit is all I really wanted.
Worried about the lipo leaving dimples... I don't need any more!
Also feeling scared to death I'm going to feel big and bulky with the 395's...trying to remind myself to trust my Dr.
Worried about stretch marks and sad to say goodbye to my small boobs. I always rather liked being smaller chested... Just not a fan of these floppy versions.
Oh., I also worry about the anatomical in different positions when I get tired of worrying about the other stuff :-)
Just had to vent... Thanks for listening

Tomorrow is sugery eve...oh my goodness I think this is going to happen!!

Today was a skosh stressful as I second guessed everything under the sun again...after I told myself I was done doing that. One last day--one last post to vent that all out--then back to positives and sunshine!
So...I need to quit reading stuff on here...though many posts are also super helpful...some make me feel like I'm going all wrong.
Things I freaked out over today-
Size, as always--don't want to be big--remember--I went in wanting 200cc!!
Cohesive gel-being textured it will adhere to my tissue--which is good until it has to come out--thinking of all my tissue stuck to the implant and being left with lumpy miserable flaps of skin.
Teardrop shape-not giving me enough upper pole fullness/looking bizarre when I lay down or change positions (though my surgeon told me the others eventually will fall into your armpits (because of my body type I guess)--and I don't want that either)
Scars--always an issue--I went into wanting to go through my armpit but can't do that with gels
Looking bulky/fat-since I have such a wide bwd I'm worried I'll just be all wide--my implants are only moderate profile-I want perky cute--but I'm too wide for that--measured my ribcage today and it was only 28". Why don't I have a nice narrow bwd?
Long term--seriously--what's my long term plan--I want to live to like 105yrs!
Taking antibiotics for 30 days--this really bothers me--a lot--I hate taking meds and some women didn't even take antibiotics!!
Saying goodbye to the small me--I like the small me--I can fit into anything--I can't fill it out--but I can fit into it--don't want to have to buy all new everything and worried about sizing for clothes now.
My mom/family/people-judging me. I used to have thoughts about women who got boob jobs...man, I tell ya--having kids has been a huge wake up call on so many preconceived ideas I had.
Something bad happening--like what if I die going under for a boob job! I told my boyfriend he's going to have to make something up--I can't have my girls lose their mom to vanity!
Um, what else
I'm sure I forgot about 100 other things that crossed my mind today.
I think that I will hate myself for doing this the first couple weeks--then I pray I fall in love with the new me like so many others have!

That said
My boobs don't match my personality I think
I'm tired of them falling out of things.
I don't want anyone else to know...I really just want to feel confident naked again. If you lean forward naked--dear god, if you lay on your back they are gone--lay on your side and they are bizarre--they slip slide around all over the place.
This is an exciting adventure
So this ends my worry--though if you have something to ease my mind of any of the worries above I would love to hear it!
I'm going to stop focusing on the bad because the mind is powerful.
I'm going to think positive and enjoy this crazy ride and my first run at valium.
Tomorrow morning I wake and begin my prep--antibiotic and celebrex morning and night. Real!
I also have my annual exam with my midwife tomorrow.
Oh good times are in store for me!!!

Okay--off to get some good sleep.
Love you girls--you've all been so helpful/supportive/and made me feel normal for all my crazy thoughts!!
Thank you for sharing your stories and thoughts!!

Farewell to my faithful friend

Last time I'll be wearing my bombshell buddy. Thank you for being such an inspiration vs.
Tomorrow I will wear my itty-bitty super comfy bra and flaunt my small chest to the world one last time! (and by flaunt I mean wear baggy scrubs that no one will notice one way or the other)

It's big boobs eve!

Woke up to the girls looking extra plump. .. Thing my mind is playing tricks on me? :-)
Time to start my drugs then off to my yearly - Woo.
Anyone else not want to go to Dr appointments anymore and have to fess up that you had a boob job?

Dang pic won't upload
One last day in my small bra being small chested.
It's comfy
Ps- my antibiotics are like horse pills!

It's D day!! (though I'd be happy with C-B+)

The big day has arrived.
I can't sleep and I'm hungry!
Last night was a mix of sheer panic and cold feet with some moments of acceptance and excitement mixed in.
I drank a ton of water before bed so I'd be extra hydrated.
That caused me to get up and pee a lot, which didn't help my sleeping.
Gotta take my anti nausea pill soon and my special shower.
Friends are coming over to make sure my girls get off to school Okay and I'm very thankful for that.
My oldest had a really sore throat last night So I hope she's not sick!
We're heading out of town for the procedure and I don't know how I'll be to take care of a sick kid after.
Hopefully she doesn't need to go to the Dr, that's out of town also...
Gonna catch up my emails then get to moving!
I've got a twilight anesthesia date with my ps
Please send positive thoughts my way!!
Will update you as soon as I can!


Made it,!
So drugged
Can barely type more later

First pic

Pic from operating room they take to give you an idea of what it looks like

Miserable sick

Always on the verge of throwing up all the time
Can't eat or drink

Day 2

I went to bed on propped up on like 30 pillows
My back hurts from sitting all day I think but I could barely walk without passing out between not being able to eat or drink and the dry heaves.
Going I this morning for IV therapy after I get my kids to school
Can hardly wait!
Dr told me to take valium and celebrex only.
Woke up at 1 am feeling great
Had my boyfriend help me to pee and was in a lot of pain and tummy upset by the time I got back
Took a valium
Slept til 3pm now wide awake
Feel sick
And in pain
Back aches
Want to wait to take the celebrex so I'm okay for the drive to the Dr out of town.
I'm surprised because I thought I'd recover great
I have a high pain tolerance but not a high nausea tolerance
Leaning over the toilet and dry heaving is miserable on the girls and my back.
So basically whining and hoping to get fixed up today.
Will update later when I'm not on my phone about the rest of the procedure.
Excited and scared to see the unveiling today!

A big huge thank you and hug to all of you out there for your comments!
They have really meant a lot to me and helped me through all this!
Despite being unwell I'm feeling really positive about my surgery!

Feeling better!

Made my boyfriend get me up at 4am... I couldn't take the nausea and pain anymore... Mostly back ache
He made me eat 4 crackers and warm sprite so I could take my celebrex
Keeping it down so far!!
Heated rice on my back.
May not go for IV therapy if I can keep this up!

Post op check up

Post of check up went great!! Love the staff at my ps.
Everything looks good, I think I'll be happy with the size.
Have that fun strap to wear til I go back in a couple weeks.... Which is a problem with my scrub tops and showing so high.
I took a celebrex at 4 am and nothing since. Feel great!
No more narcotics for this girl!!
Will take pics and type up my surgery run down when I get home. Taking a road trip with my boyfriend for a job he needs to look at then going out to eat.

Re-cap of surgery day

Here is my quick (maybe) re-cap of my surgery day.
Took forever to fall asleep the night before--I drank a ton of water before bed because I wanted to be well hydrated so they didn't have problems getting the iv in. Well, that just made me get up several times a pee--which then got my mind thinking again and made it harder to fall back asleep. I finally woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. Laid there for an hour then caught up on realself. Then took my second special wash shower and took my Amend pill for nausea. Left my girls with friends and nearly cried thinking, what if this is the last time I see them and die during a cosmetic procedure. Hit the road for our out of town surgery and was mixed equally with nerves and excitement. The night before I think I would have backed out if not for all the money on the line--but in the morning I accepted that this was going to happen and I was ready. I just focused on positive thoughts. We arrived to the ps's private surgery sweet and the nurse that I had seen in office greeted me and got me ready. I only had 45-60 min to wait until my procedure. The worst part was the IV placement. She bent the IV in my vain and poked through to the other side--hurt like a SOB! Made me get all hot and nauseas and I thought I was going to pass out but didn't tell her because I was embarrassed--I work in a hospital so that stuff doesn't actually bother me. Musta been nerves. She got it on the second though thankfully! Then I took 2 valium and 2 Percocet and I was feeling good! I was just having IV sedation by a nurse and she came in and gave me a few things and I don't remember much after that--them vaguely saying they were going to strap my arms down and then waking up back in my room. My boyfriend said I repeated myself over and over and said things to the Dr like, do I look beautiful? And, am I the best patient you ever had? Lol, I apologized to them today at my follow up and they all laughed and said I was a really good time. I felt great when we left them but basically slept the whole ride home just waking up to apologize for being so sleepy every so often. I spent the whole day at home on the cough sleeping on and off and trying not to vomit. I took one Percocet at home and that will be my last! Just helped me up a million time to go dry heave in the bathroom. Leaning over with new heavy boobs and heaving is rather unpleasant. I could only force myself to eat one saltine and a few bites of jello the whole day. A few sips of water without vomiting it up. I was sick sick miserable. My boyfriend called my ps after hours and he told me what meds to take and to come in early the next day for IV therapy if I was still sick. I went to bed and slept great for about 2 hours all propped up on pillows. I woke up feeling good--no pain or nausea. I had my boyfriend help me to the bathroom and the nausea and pain kicked in. I took a valium and got another 2 hours of sleep until waking up for good. I held off to 4am for the Celebrex so I could function to get to the Dr. appointment. I had debated making my boyfriend take me to the ER I was so sick. To take the Celebrex I had to eat--my boyfriend forced me to eat 4 crackers before he'd give it to me. That was the turn around. I felt so good after I drank a little water I ate 3 more crackers with peanut butter! Then I got my girls ready for school, did their hair, picked up and did some laundry. That was too much and I felt a bit sick then. But I canceled the IV therapy and just went for my regular check up. It was quick-the Dr and both nurses came in--laughed about my drunken medicated talk-everything looks great--I was really happy with the size despite my initial fears and my boyfriend is happy too--or at least says he is. I'm on soft bras and the strap for the next couple weeks until I go back for another check. I'll get exercises then. Dr. also wrote me a scrip for ambien in case I need it. I feel like a dang pharmacy at this point! But I am going to try it tonight--I haven't had a full nights sleep in awhile.
All in all the whole thing went way better than I thought it would. I'm super happy so far with my plastic surgeon and his staff and my results!
Will update some pics later...been such a busy day!
Oh--forgot to say he moved my incisions a little higher than the crease because I told him I wear a lot of bikinis in the summer and was concerned about my scar showing...so mine will be a little different than the usual.
Okay--off to get ready for dinner and Christmas event--wish me luck getting clothes over my head!!

Oh no

Did my whole long surgery day post disappear!?!?
Will have to rewrite tomorrow
Here's a few pics
I'm very swollen
Even around the side
Lines down the center of my boobs are from the bra they gave me.. Need some comfortable suggestions to buy for myself.

Why can't I upload any pics!?!?
Always that error message

Oh, the typos!!!

Is there no way to edit your posts to fix typos? That surgery day recap drives me insane...I wrote sweet instead of suite and vain instead of vein just to name a couple. That drives me super crazy--so I apologize to those of you who read it and feel irritated by it as well--I can't figure out how to fix it.
Anyone know how?
In my defense that was the night after my sickness and terrible sleep and I was abruptly woken from my afternoon nap to go out to dinner--but wanted to type that post quick...so I was tired, typing fast and talking to people at our place all at the same time--there was no proofread either obviously.
That said, I forgot to mention that the day of surgery-after I got home my back killed from sitting on the cough all day--a friend brought some heating/rice things and they've been very helpful. Most helpful however is not sitting on the cough all day! The more I'm up and moving around the better I feel--with little rests in between.
Another thing--my ribs really hurt after surgery--which the dr said is because they cut the muscle down there?
Today my biggest pain is a spot right at the top of my right breast every time I reach out??
I have quite a bit of swelling--even along the sides where my bra straps are--loosened it up a little and am contemplating a drive to the city in search for my own..if only amazon could same day ship to me on Saturday :-)
I gained 2.5lbs the day after my surgery and today I'm back to my normal weight. I haven't have a big appetite--which is unusual because I'm usually a big eater...however it feels like I'm taking pills all the time
Antibiotic, arnica, birth control, Tylenol and the option of 5 others if I want to get serious.
Going to give a shower a whirl today. Dr said to just keep my back to the shower and try not to get the steri strips wet. He said in a week I can face forward and let them start coming off. All my stitches are dissolvable.
Last night I did not take the Ambien--my boyfriend had to get up at 4:30am for work--which he usually doesn't have to do on Saturday-I wanted to make sure someone was around the first time I took something new so maybe I'll try it tonight...though I slept pretty good last night. I'm just not a back sleeper--I love sleeping on my tummy and side and rolling around all night long--so this is tough! Also it's hard to reposition anything in bed right now so I'm kinda just stuck where I am unless I wake my bf up. Last night I was reaching over to the night stand and stretching way up--that was too much.
Had first post sex this morning--just under 48 hours out.
I said just be gentle and don't lay on me, lol. Not the best but we got the job done.
In other milestones--I got a hoodie on last night--I love hoodies and they hide the new girls well.
My boyfriend has told a few other people---which drives me a little nuts--but they're our beach friends and are going to find out--plus I feel bad lying to them about my back injury.
I'd rather have told no one--but I don't think I'll be able to play these off as new padded bikinis.
Speaking of--I have like 30 swimsuits (I buy them on super clearance at the end of every year). Some I love and I pray they still fit--and by fit, I mean cover enough to wear around my children!
Going to try to post the pics I took last night again.
I'm really having troubles getting pics on here lately

Typos take 2!

I'm obviously typing way too fast and not re-reading my posts
I see I typed cough instead of couch two times!!
I'm sure there are more.
I'd blame it on the drugs but I'm not on anything mind altering.
How about I'm tired :-)

Omg... It looks like I'll finally get to add pics!

These are from last night- day after surgery
Quite swollen
Hope they shrink plenty and I don't get stretch marks out of this deal!

Drove my car, took a shower--feeling invincible--til the two naps, lol

Today I woke up stiff as I don't take anything during the night--which leaves me awake about 4am or so and unable to really get out of the pillow prison my boyfriend creates around me. Tonight I think I will try that ambien! (Maybe) nervous about any new meds after some of my troubles. Still haven't pooped...haven't eaten that much either--not much of an appetite, but afraid to take the ducolax for whatever side effects that might cause (never taken one-I usually eat very healthy/lots of fiber--saltines, soup and potatoes aren't quite cutting it). However, I'm thinking sleeping pill and poop pusher might be a bad combo, lol. I may have already tested my boyfriend to the limits...cleaning up poop sheets might be too far.
Feeling mostly good--got a looser bra--bless my bf who had a lady help him shop for one for me--it's a bali--not sure it's super amazing...and it was way too pricey but he just wanted out of there. What's everyone else's fav? might make an amazon order. I've been alone pretty much all day which is boring.
I do too much then I crash and nap. Then I'm stiff get up, do too much and crash and nap.
My back hurts so bad from sitting on this fricken couch--ugh
I did do laundry--drove across town--had a war with the garage door--seriously--how many times was it going to make me push that button way up on the ceiling?
I need to stop slouching
Did I mention my lower back hurts yet
and the bottom of my ribs
like I've been kicked with steel toed boots--maybe a couple times
weird shooting pains here and there...sometimes feels like a heart attack--like that specific of a location--but not actually my heart--and not that I really know what a heart attack feels like anyhow.
took a shower--though had to keep my back to the water to try to keep the steri strips dry. it was a good time--washed some glue off my side--shaved my under arms and my legs--kinda sorta :-)
the refreshing shower got me into a couple bikini tops I had taken before pics of
my what a different
if rs would only let me upload them.
wish my bf would have been in town today--it was fairly nice and sunny and I would have liked to go for a walk out in the woods with the dogs--but scared to go do something like that on my own--plus I can't open and shut that back hatch myself anyways
that's my update for now
feeling mostly good but not great
get a bit ill feeling at times
and tire out fast
gonna have to get it together quick because I'm on call for my job at the hospital Monday
I did get some pull over clothes on
but they were stretchy--my scrubs are going to be a challenge
with this band I'm going to have to wear under shirts to cover it
I don't usually do that...so prolly will arouse suspicion
enough of my random ramblings
not even going to proof read this
too lazy
so in summary
most comfy post surgical bra?
ambien or valium for bedtime
and ducalax or no?
mighta spelled that wrong...ah well
hope you ladies are all doing fantastic
will continue the battle with rs and the picture upload!
oh, and I only took two Tylenol today and my Celebrex at 4 or 5am
and the arnica, probiotic, baby aspirin and other meaningless stuff

First bikini before and after

What a difference a little silicone makes

Not as fun as the bikini pics

Hoping they end up okay
Scars were a huge worry for me

Boobie blues

So, I feel like I've been sailing through this all for the most part (other than the horrible sickness the first day). Today my boyfriend had to work unexpectedly and was gone early and all day. I spent the day doing too much, napping and sitting on the couch catching up on rs (repeat). I ended up feeling sickly as the day wore on. Like not that I was going to throw up--but ucky--like maybe it was a possibility in the future. I hate feeling sick! I took hardly anything for meds--antibiotic, Tylenol and arnica so I'm frustrated I feel bad. Boyfriend finally came home and I got changed to go out to some friends house to hang out/dinner. I had to yank my cami up to my chin nearly to cover the darn 'strap' and just felt blah. I finally ended up crying. I am not a crier. My boyfriend has seen my cry maybe 2x in the years we've been together. I just don't do it. I just felt all down and miserable and tired of laying around and doing nothing. And I was really, really lonely today all by myself. Just feeling sad. So I guess it's like the baby blues but the boobie blues. I've heard tell of this happening. I hope I got it out of my system. I really want to try to go for a walk with the dogs tomorrow out in the fresh air. I need to get out and move but not get up and do all the housework.
Tomorrow will be better.
Has to be--get my girls back--then Monday I'm on call for work-uck
Got a first date with Ambien tonight--wish me luck!

Ambien - 0, Dulcolax - 1

So I tried Ambien last night instead of Valium because I was tired of waking up at 3am. Woke up at 1am instead. Wasn't impressed. Just as good because I don't like taking drugs anyhow.
I also took 2 Dulcolax before bed for the first time ever. Woke up at 6am and things moved on through finally!! That deserved a little happy dance!
Today is my last day not on call or working for the next 12 days.. . So I'm going to try to really enjoy it. Planning a fresh air walk and some pampering (begging my boyfriend to rub my aching back)!
Hope you post ladies are doing well and you pre ladies are getting excited!

Had to take a bath

I was cold and love baths so I covered my steroids straps with guaze and tegaderms to protect them
Kept the water low and am enjoying the warm
Life's simple pleasures

Auto correct correct

Not steroid straps
Steri strips :-)

Day 3 post op

Feeling pretty good
Swelling is improving
Looks like my only bruising will be around my incisions
Hoping those look good!
And that these babies settle down a bit

Back to the real world...mostly

So, today my boyfriend took off at 4am to be gone for work most of the week. Makes me sad because he was so helpful in this process. I'm on my own with my 3 crazy girls. I got my best nights sleep besides waking up to the dog vomiting at 1am and sending the bf off at 4am. Hate sleeping propped up on all these pillows on my back--but it's only for a while longer.
Took the morning off work--but I'm on call so have to go in this afternoon to get my pager and cover any late stuff, hoping there isn't anything!! I also plan on running some errands in town (work/town is a half hour away). I think I have too much on my plate--but they are things I need to get done--and I'll be on call/working the next 12 days in a row-uck--not ideal--but it's the only dates that really worked for the surgery.
Also have to tell a story about hurting my back to explain why I can't do any heavy lifting...I hate lying..but this is none of their business...so I guess it's a necessary evil.
I work in a small department--me and 3 others--hard to hide things.
I slept in later than any other day this morning and thanked the heavens I didn't have to get ready for work while feeding my kids breakfast and getting them ready.
I'm spending the morning getting outfits laid out for the week and everything done around here I can--then lunch--then off on my adventure.
I've taken no pain meds today so far--stiff and a little sore--but pretty good.
Just feel kinda blah and down.
Wish I was retired :-)
Okay--back to getting things done...takes me days to catch up on this site--if I somehow missed a comment or post I'm really sorry--I appreciate everyone's kind words, advice and encouragement so much!!


oh, and by pain meds I just mean tylenol
I can't handle the good stuff--i'd make a terrible addict!

Drum roll on the first bra measurement....

so i had to go to work today and pick up my pager post my call, etc
it was really slow so my boss was fine with me leaving
had to get a few things for my kids in town for upcoming dance/christmas/return things/get vision forms/etc
wow--way overdid it
shopping kicks my butt normally but i am whooped!
finally just had to leave
i did however get a bunch of clearance comfy hanes-like sleep sort of bras at shopko for $5-10 each--guess i'm a medium now
and since i was going right by vs i figured i'd get sized just for the heck of it
i know that vs is generous with their sizing...i was a 32b before though an a in pretty much all other brands
well i'm currently a 32dd!!
that seems crazy
i was going for a nice c
however--cup size is just a number and i think they look proportionate--my butt is still an inch bigger around at this point, lol
i think after they are all settled i'll be a good c in other brands
whatever i guess
i don't think these cohesive gel/gummy bear implants really settle/change a whole lot
anyone know?

i also think my left boob is shifted slightly more towards my underarm than my right--nit picking--but don't want to mess anything up!

anyhow--i'd kill for a spa day and a full body massage
my back hurts more than anything through this whole ordeal!!
i need to keep better posture!
this slouching over my boobs is ridiculous!

that sob-ing glue they used along with the stitches and steri strips--that stuff hurts like h*** to take off--i made myself bleed in one spot
whew--that's what i get for picking around the edges
that's it
time to take care of the kids
girl scouts tonight!

Few photos

They seem to look the same to me but I figured I'd post some pics.
Cause heck... I have boobs now!
Very little bruising
Eager/nervous to see what's under the ucky looking Steri strips
They feel pretty good
Occasional shooting pains
But it's mostly my back that hurts

Rockin' that 9-5

Well, actually 8-4:30...but that doesn't sound as catchy.
First full fledged day back at work and we are busy this week! I did a lot of running around the hospital this morning carrying a laptop--up and down stairs between patient rooms. Little weak on the stairs but okay--held that laptop with both arms close to my body. Afternoon I spent prepping patients for surgery leaning over them and such. I had a couple episodes of feeling pooped but I spent the last hour or two doing office work and felt great at the end of the day. Left my tylenol at home so thank goodness I didn't need anything! I'd never even know I had surgery if I didn't know it. I think it did me good to get out and about--moving and shaking. Still not a big appetite--which is good because I eat a lot and I've got a couple extra pounds on automatically now :-) My back was less achy today up and moving around now too! I'm feeling really lucky with such an easy recovery so far---keeping my fingers crossed that something bad isn't lurking in my future...I'm bad about that-just can't accept good without thinking there is bad waiting.
Anyhow--toughest part of the day was getting my scrub top off when I got home.
Making supper now--but just wanted to post quick.
Was having realself withdrawals today! Had to go hide in the bathroom a couple times to post a couple things :-)
Hope you girls are all doing well out there!

oh--my left is looking bigger--and farther out to my underarm which bothers me a bit--also more numb--so i'm hoping maybe just more swollen still??
My numbness is really just on the lower half of my boobs.

Work pics

I thought I'd post what double D's look like in scrubs for those of you interested in hiding your new boobs at work.
This is a XS top..which did take a little more wrangling to get on that it did with small boobs, but I think I don't look much different... I guess maybe just chunkier :-)
Also I'm happy I can fit into my old scrubs still!

From the clearance rack to my rack

#*&$##**@*!!! Pillows!!!!

I slept terrible last night on my dang pillow mountain
Dr said 5-7 days and I like to overachieve but finally at 2 am I was like f these stupid pillows!

I said down and slept on one with one behind or between my knees on my back and side!

Hard to believe one week ago at this time I have my baby boobs and was heading for surgery!

I need to quit my job!

Because it's impossible to keep up with rs while working full time!
I had to work late last night in surgery--then my kids Christmas concert just in time--then so exhausted from my bad sleep the night before, straight to bed.
I got up an hour early today to catch up here and it took that whole time!
Sorry if I missed any posts or anyone--I'll get settled in better this weekend again as long as work doesn't work me to the bone!
PS--terrible crink in my neck from the night before....ugh I'm going to start taking my meds again for that I think--mayaswell use them for something.
Hope you're all doing well!
Good luck to the surgery girls today!

What ? A rash!

Developed a rash today
And the only other time I have had a rash is like 20 yrs ago from penicillin
Had my bf call my ps because I couldn't call from work
They said to stop taking my antibiotic
The one I had to take for a month that I was whining about
that's worth a rash
Just praying I don't end up with an infection now!!

Obviously I'm not good at drugs!

Week comparison photos

I think they look the same!
Little less swelling
And my left boob is bigger now
Wrong direction!
It does seem a touch more finicky about swelling and I hope that's it
Also hoping I'm not shoving them down too much with this strap I wear 2 weeks straight!


Tried on my old bikinis that I love. Of course too small.

Tried on some new ones I had gotten for this. Also too small.

I didn't want to be big.

I'm feeling like I made a big mistake
I hope this passes
But I'm not in love with my boobs like the rest of you.
They just feel like pia rocks on my chest.
I feel bulky and a bit ridiculous!

I know I've been lucky with an easy recovery and should be thankful
But I just am feeling down about it all.

Not the natural look I had planned.

So much more to say but gotta get to work.

Just had to vent.
My boyfriend loves them and can't understand.

Thank you for listening!!

The good, the bad, and the ugly

The good is I'm not feeling so down, put on my game face and moving forward.
The bad is I took my most depressing photos tonight.
The ugly is, well, the photos.

Pulled off my tape finally to find this
Still glue and old blood... But rather uninspiring.
My right boob has weird red marks around the bottom.
Could those be stretch marks!?
Please tell me no.

And my boobs seem more asymmetrical every day.
Right is settling down, left stays the same.
Sigh..my boobs seemed the same size to start.
Anxious to ask my ps questions on Friday.

What is this my RS girls?

Obviously I need to quit my mirror exams as now I've found some weird chords that appear when I raise my arm straight up and stretch.
What is that about?? !!

In better news things are starting to soften a skosh!
Sorry if it looks like I'm mauling myself :-)

My 2 week post op recap

Yesterday was my 2 week post op and first time I'd seen or talked to my ps since the day after surgery. I was anxious to see what he had to say, which turned out to be not too much.
He was basically just like super laid back and hosted an informal q & a
I asked all my questions--I showed him my Mondor's cord--which had evidently already disappeared, lol
I'm up to 20 lbs for a couple weeks then good to go. He said no cardio/jumping or weights for a couple more weeks to let my incisions close up completely.
Otherwise, I can basically do whatever I want.
He said no tummy sleeping ever--too hard on the implants :-(
He actually thought I was at my 2 month follow up initially because everything looked so progressed--he was pleased with that-and said basically what I have now is what i'll have. He said I can buy bras because my size won't really change anymore--but that if they have an underwire I'll probably want to pull it out until my incisions heal and slide it back in down the road.
As far as softness he said I'm pretty much there at this point--he said this style of implant is not going to be soft and jiggly :-( But I knew that--and am still holding out for some more softness.
Gave me exercises of sorts....I didn't think I did massages because I have a textured implant--but he has me pushing on the top, bottom and each side of each boob 2 times a day with significant pressure for the rest of my life. It's a work out plan I can probably manage.
I asked about that disrupting the adherence to my tissue but he said that already happened so no worries.
No more strap, woo.
Sleep bra for support at night--I forget if that was just for the next 6 weeks (my next and I think last follow up appointment) or forever.
My boyfriend wanted me to ask when he can start grabbing them, lol and Dr said not til Christmas ;-)
um, what else
scars--he said there is no data to show that any of those creams, strips or goop works he says. He recommends just letting nature do the healing--he said if it makes you feel better to slap goop on it you can but he said he thinks the results are the same either way.
um--what else??
trying to remember--should have posted this post appointment but I had my first night out on the town!
overall he is pretty laid back about everything--which I both like and don't--everyone else seems to have so many more rules and things to do....but I also like the freedom--just don't want to mess any of this up.
He said to get the extended warranty--which I was going to do anyhow.
I asked about my left side being bigger. He said the left chest is naturally bigger because of the heart or some such bs, haha, whatever
guess I'm stuck with it

I'm feeling better about things overall. Boobs are still tender--nipples are super sensitive--like feel they got sunburnt--bf wants to play with them so bad and I'm like, no way--look but don't touch! He's happy with the softness, he said he'd rather have them firmer than squishier anyhow...nice of him :-)
I still feel like my boobs are too big/bulky for my body--but, I can't change that so I've decided to just accept it and make the best of it.

The first week I did an awesome job of eating healthy and lost the couple pounds my new boobs added to my frame.
This past week we had so much holiday food at our office and my bf ended up taking me out to eat a few times and I lost all control and ate myself 4 pounds heavier this week...so, feeling bloated and gross and miserable. Poop situation isn't back on track yet--but I think that'd due to the junk I've eaten--I'm usually a super healthy eater!
I'm letting myself coast through the holidays and then I'm getting back on that wagon!

okay--gotta run to town and wrap Christmas presents and get productive!

Round 2 Victoria's Secret

Since my ps gave me the green light to buy bras...and I have nothing but comfy/moo moo bras-and no beige to wear under white/see through-ish shirts I figured I'd pick up a couple today with my discounts...
I got sized again, she bumped me up to 32DDD
she said I should have a 30 band but they don't make them that small.
None of the 50 bras I tried on fit quite right--my boobs are their own shape and are nonconformist apparently.
They certainly don't need any support--they aren't moving anyhow.
But, I needed something different to wear under real clothes.
They may go back.
Any suggestions on wear to buy bras for independently spirited girls?

Exciting morning!!

When I was brushing my teeth in front of the mirror this morning, naked because I can do that now... My boobs shook a little!!
So excited
The icing on the cake
In the shower I was feeling my boobs, because I can do that now too, and they were so soft and dare I even say squishy!!
It only lasted for a short time, then they kinda tensed up again and went back to firm.. But girls, there is hope for the girls yet!!

Ps- showed our close friends my boobs last night, a husband and wife we're really close with
They squeezed them too, lol
Weird what a ba will change about you-well, a ba and a few drinks, lol.

3 weeks post op

Three weeks today.
395cc mentor memoryshape unders
115 lbs + holiday weight :-)

Girls feel cold and like my muscles are seized up most the time . Nipples are slightly less sensitive the last couple days but had been horrible sensitive!
Had to wear baggy to hide my boobs from my mom the last couple days, but really not that noticeable.
Short post
Merry Christmas my best boobie girlfriends!
So thankful for you all!


Here are the bras I have so far, i listed the type/size with the pics.
I measure myself 27" around my ribcage/band and about 35.5" around my breast currently.
I've not actually worn any of them yet :-)

Best Christmas present for post op ba in the winter!

My bf got me a heated vest for Christmas!!
I'm always cold anyhow but this cold on my new boobs is straight torture!!
Boobs are feeling all happy and relaxed, I may never take it off!

36-24-36? ha ha, only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' work out tapes by Fonda...
Now that I've got that song stuck in your head :-)

My measurements have officially balanced my butt out. Though I lost an inch to the 36 top and bottom I made it up in the middle, so that still counts, right?
Wait, but I'm a few inches too tall... Ugh, messed that all up. :-)
Finally starting to feel more normal- will do a more thorough 1 month post or am I supposed to do 4 weeks? Maybe I'll hit somewhere in the middle.
I'm a shopping queen. Ordered a couple eBay sports bras as I need to start working out next week. Nippies off Amazon and 14 bikinis and a couple dresses from vs with the semi annual sale and extra 20% off swimwear. I order in bulk then send back. I pray some are nice, never has a vs swimsuit and my bf is taking me on a surprise trip the end of January, so need to have something. Afraid the bottoms will be way too small. Got the Venus swim catalog yesterday, anyone know if they are worth a darn/how they size?
That's my quick phone update... Will do a thorough one in the next week ish.


Just a quick post... Wore my nippies out NYE and I'm happy to report they worked awesome! They are soft and squishy sticky, not bandaid sticky. Stuck on easy and stayed on til about 3 am with dancing and everything. My shirt was black and thin but not tight, there was no show through and I think the shape is nice enough that they'll work with tighter tops. I was only able to take a quick pic because I had a very short time to get ready after work... I also had them on a bit uneven so disregard that too. After i took them off I washed them in warm soapy water, let them dry and tucked them back in their box. Very comfy and I hope they last a long time! Bought them from Amazon for $25.
Gotta try to get all caught up on rs today... A million updates behind with all of you!
Happy new year ladies!

Nippies pic update

Here is my nippies pic update as requested.
Had them on in a few different things. They were no show in the XS tight tee and dress and slight color show in the Super thin white tee when pulled tight. That shirt shows everything through though it's so thin. So I think pretty good overall.

1 month update

I'm one month out now and figured I'd do a one month recap as I recall it for other girls just starting....
My surgery experience was fabulous and fun actually, narcotics made me horrible sick right after getting home and I spent day one dry heaving. After that got out of my system I felt pretty good. My worst pain was my ribs and the very worst was the back pain from sitting all the time and slouching and sleeping on those horrible pillows! That was the worst-about one week post I ended up with terrible back and neck pain-awful--I ditched the pillows and felt much better. Sleeping sucked for awhile though--always waking up, finally getting better now that I can move freely and don't feel like I'm rolling around with rocks strapped to me. Into week two I had sensation come back and felt like I had sunburnt nipples--my muscles were always seized up it seemed, especially in the cold weather and I was just so sick of always being reminded that I had fake boobs. Add in the dry/peeling/itchy skin and you have a good time. Into week three that finally started easing up and I was feeling about a million times better. I'm now sleeping mostly on my sides and sometimes a little too much towards tummy sleeping (it finally doesn't feel like I'm laying on rocks when I'm on my stomach!). My boobs jiggle when I brush my teeth or jump and that is a relief. I will start working out this week and eating healthy--the 'fat period' is over after today. I tried on a bunch of vs swimsuits this weekend-I ordered like 15 bikinis I think? Had a little mental breakdown about how big my boobs are. These DD bikini tops are huge and I feel like I look ridiculous! I ordered medium in tops that weren't bra sizes and I don't know what I was thinking--because they were in no way big enough to cover my boobs. They fit all stupid because my boobs have their own shape and aren't soft and fat/squishy like a normal boob. My boyfriend was just thrilled--the worse they fit the more he loved them. It was very frustrating to say the least. It's like he got some new toy and I got stuck feeling like a circus freak. I know that's a bit dramatic, but I'm just not feeling these things. I hate to be Debbie downer when everyone else is falling in love with their new look, but I'm full of regret. So jealous of the girls who went in the 200 cc range. I shouldn't complain because so far I've had an easy recover and I think they turned out nice--just way too big for me. I just can't quite adjust and I pray that I do. I feel like people are going to say terrible things about me. I feel fake and unbalanced and just not like me. I don't feel sexy or powerful or beautiful, I feel bulky and fat and silly. I know they are proportionate really--they are the same circumference as my butt, and in clothes they aren't so huge looking, but out of clothes, ugh. I miss having my smaller more 'sporty' chest. I've never wanted big boobs--in fact I loved my small perky boobs my entire life and never wished they were larger. The reason for getting this surgery was just to perk the girls up--not to become a DD/DDD! My ps gave me three size choices--the smallest putting me in a B and the largest putting me in a large C to a small D. I picked the middle thinking I didn't want to be disappointed with the B (he had told me with my wide bwd small implants would just look like balls on my chest) and now I'm DD/DDD at vs--which seems to be D with others, but still--it just feels huge. So, thanks for listening to my little pity party vent. I'm hoping someone out there felt the same way and learned to love their boobs, because I really want to learn to love these things. Maybe once winter's over and I'm not just miserable with that I'll like them. Maybe I just need to adjust to my new shape. I told my bf the other day at my 2 month appointment I'm going to talk to my ps about a revision--going with half the size or taking them out all together...I'm sure I won't--I don't want to go through the cost and put my body through another surgery again...but I do wish I had little cute boobs. Anyhow--I'm putting on my game face and making the best of things. This was my choice and I mayaswell accept it and embrace it! Thank you for all of your compliments and support through everything--you guys have kept my sanity and put sunshine in my heart :-)
I'll post some pics separately from my phone.


Here are pics through month one, not sure how you guys do the top and bottom comparison, I'm not that techie

VS swim show

Here are most of my vs suits... I took top pics mostly because I figured that is the important part here... And because I'm bloated from a spree of junk food and alcohol. Really like my cosabella bra. VS suits seem crazy huge, except for the mediums, hopelessly small! Hoping at some point I can find a cute strapless that stays up, i hate strap tan lines that are super bright.

First work out

First work out and I did, Baladea, which is new to me but the easiest thing I have. Can't do a gym because of my location and single mom thing so it's home stuff for me. I usually rotate Jillian and Shaun T but I thought that might be too intense. Felt good to do something. And wow, I'm out of shape! Only weird painful thing was some stretching of my arms up and back.
Tried out my new Nike dry fit size 32 C, finally not a D :-)
Seemed fine. Some incision rubbing on ab stuff.
Have to say as much as I feel too big and bulky overall, I feel pretty kick ass in work out clothes!
So, yay for that!
Also... How many fitness video girls have fake boobs too!??

Time to get clean
7.7 lbs up after the holidays !!!

Found a lump :-(

This morning while super groping myself in the shower I found a small jelly bean-ish sized lump (big jelly beans not the mini's) on the side of my right boob along armpit crease.
Thinking cyst or lymph node deal or who knows.
Tell me this is normal.
I cannot fathom the idea of getting testing at the hospital I work at (where insurance covers it) for a lump along my fake boobs!!
I'm sure it's fine...just not interested in dealing with this newest development.
In other news I have a stitch that has been poking me on the edge of my incision--I've tried pulling it (mine dissolve) and can't. Finally just called my ps and they said--I can come now instead of my 2 month appointment (wth, do they limit follow ups?). I'm on call and can't go that far away. So she said try to clip it and put antibiotic ointment on. There's not enough to clip--so ointment it is.
Also it's freezing here, literally. It's going to be -20 tonight without the windchill--that means -40 + with. Tired of cold boobs. I hate being cold! thank goodness for my warming vest!

The Venus collection

Let me apologize for
My pale, full (big supper) , out if shape body and my disaster bathroom
Was like a bomb went off in there, I was trying to hurry... These pics aren't even half of what I tried on.
Venus is better than vs for fit and comfort imo. My first experience with them. I'm a c cup in their tops, woohoo!! DD with vs (or bigger) bottoms go by number sizing which is pretty accurate I think.
I ordered a few clothes and some were awesome, some seemed cheap. What looked voluptuous on the model just hung on me in a couple shirts. I shoulda ordered XS in tops but was worried about the girls fitting.
Overall though will have some good keepers . Tops that fit instead of being strapped to my boobs like stiff blue jeans off the clothes line.

VS return shipment

Here are the straggler/exchanged vs suits. Still one on back order from each place. Couple Venus clothing items. Did the live fashion show for the bf this morning, time to make decisions and cut some ponies from the herd.
On a livelier note used the girls full fledged in the bedroom this morning. I liked feeling voluptuous on top for once instead of self conscious, the bf seemed to enjoy it as well! Stimulation of the nipples was half good, half numb. Please tell me my full sensation will come back!

Incision pics

Just a quick post of my incisions. They are so long and not as good as I'd like. Problems with stitches poking out the ends.
Also not sure if I'm happy about them being above the crease or not. Before going under I voiced my concerns about scars showing in bikini tops and I woke up to higher scars to prevent that.
I see my ps I think for the last time this Friday.
I've been rubbing vitamin E and coconut oil on and massaging the scars.
Bandaids and antibiotic cream over poking stitches.

2 Months Post Op

It's actually my 2 month post op eve--but I had a few minutes so I figured I'd update now :-)

5'6" 115lbs (at the time of surgery-now that weight appears to be but a dream)
36yr old-mother of 3
395cc anatomical cohesive gel-mentor memoryshape-crease incision
27" ribcage
35" breast circumference post op (i think they were 32-33" before)

Hello all my rs friends!
time for the 2 month update!
I have to say overall, things are WAY better at this point! I was hating my new boobs around month 1 and i've definitely come a long ways. I can't say I'm over the moon in love like some of you--but I really mostly like them now. They feel much more like a part of me thankfully. I often forget they are there, which is really nice.

If I had to do it all over again--I think I would go 300-350cc. I think that would have been my ideal happy size. these things still look a big huge naked but they don't feel as huge in my day to day life. sometimes they get in the way and every so often I have a bit of a panic attack about what would happen if i needed to squeeze through a small space-perhaps when running from some crazy rapist kidnapper, cult member or alien/monster. Like I might come to a crevice in the wall and I can't squeeze through to escape b/c of these dang boobs. Or maybe I'm in a cave where the entrance collapses and the only way out is through a small hole--there I am, like winnie the pooh when he ate too much 'hunny'-stuck and unable to move forward or backwards-cursing my boobs and my vanity.
I think I might be the only one having these thoughts.

I do often still feel bulky in certain clothes--typically the old standbys i used to look cute/small in. hoodies and high necked shirts--high necked tees look decidedly unattractive with boobs--it's like the amount of material to the neck is ridiculously too much. I also get minor rage attacks when I pull on/off something tighter and unforgiving--like a smaller scrub top and i get that kind of stuck feeling when it's half off. again--probably only me that feels rage attacks at these moments--perhaps i should dig out my stash of relaxers that i never took post op now!

i think i'm pretty happy with going with the textured implants. one of the reasons that i chose them however is because my ps said i'd have the least chance of rippling with the implants i went with --he's right on the cohesive gel part--but apparently the textureds have the highest rate of rippling because of the pull of the implant on the skin. i'm not sure if this statistic is the old school silicone textureds--which makes sense--or the rounds because they move more freely inside?? or if it included the anatomicals--i'm hoping not because that is a huge concern for me. anyhow--if i did anything else i may have gone the smooth cohesive gel (lowest ripple rate) but i think i'll be happy long term that the textured implants don't sag/move as much (fall into your armpits over time). we'll see--there are pros and cons to everything--and i'm not trying to offend anyone who has something different--there are different reasons different people need different implants--which is why there are choices. just saying what i mull over in my mind about what i would do different/should have done. as far as anatomical. i guess i'm okay with it--i wonder how much different round would look? i feel like the muscle hides a lot of the shape--but i'm glad i don't have any more upper pole fullness than i do--i can still squish up some cleavage so that's good. when i lay on my back they fall naturally i think--i'll include some pics of that position later. i am jealous of the girls with the rounds and the smooths and the crazy natural squishy! i don't believe i'll ever have that. i stick with calling mine 'youthfully firm' lol--sounds lovely anyhow. i asked my bf to give his honest opinion about they way they felt and if he'd think i had fake boobs if he didn't know me. he said he thinks they feel awesome and he'd just believe i had really awesome boobs. i do think they are similar to my breasts before i had children--just a touch firmer? speaking of before children--i found some of my bikinis from them and they fit!!! i think my boobs would have been just as they had been had i gone with 300cc . i was a 32C back then and if you shrunk my boobs down now-very similar shape. not to be braggy--but i could wear all sorts of cute backless braless shirts back in my party days and people would ask if i had a boob job then--it was a great compliment--even though they weren't big-they were nice for me. that's really what i wanted back. anyhow--finding old bikinis that looked nice was one of the best days in my boob journey thus far--it made me feel normal-ish. let's see--wow this is just a tangent.

feeling--still halfsies numb underneath--nipples were always sensitive and maybe are close to back to normal but with a tinge more of--'that hurts' than they used to--need to toughen them up maybe. when stimulated they feel bad at first but then have the ability to feel good when we push on--so hoping for a return to normal yet.

exercise--been working out as hard as i used to since about 5-6 weeks post op with the exception of chest stuff. i never liked much chest stuff anyhow but now i take it easy--i usually work out to dvds--if the women are doing push ups i might do a couple--or switch to planks with leg lifts or some other thing in it's place. i read on one of this week's newsletters where one dr said since only 1/2 to 2/3 of an implant (the top) is covered by muscle-repeated pressure pushes the implant down--like squeezing a balloon--and over time this can make the implant drop too far as well as out. thought that was a good description. i think i can still do some things and don't want to be totally helpless when it comes to upper body strength--but i'm using this as a good excuse not to go batsh** crazy on upper body (not that i ever have before anyhow--but it's good to have an excuse now).
side note--love my boobs the best in work out clothes!
i think because they are squished in but still look light years better than total flatness

incisions-still not too happy--mine are so long compared to everyone else's and can kinda be seen from the outside. i think they are 2 1/2 inches?? was necessary because of my implant type i guess--but i hate that part--wish i would have been able to do a nipple incision (though don't want more nipple trouble). there is a stitch poking out of the outside end of each boob now--been unable to cut it any closer or file it down--frustrating because it can't heal right there and drives me nuts. i feel like it's messing up my chance at a light scar. i've been rubbing vit e and coconut oil on. bumbs underneath are almost all gone--stitches are hanging in and poking me steady eddy.

bounce--the girls bounce when i jump--but i can't shake them pitbull back up dancer style. alas, i don't think i ever will be able to.

sleep-i sleep in all my old positions--i move it move it all night long--mostly on my side/front--i try to keep and arm under my body to kind of cushion the impact on my breast so it's not getting squished. my ps said never sleep on your stomach again--but i say life's not worth living then. i hate being restricted in sleep. my boobs feel totally natural rolling around now--though if i lay on a yoga mat and do stuff prone i can feel the hardness of the implants against the hard floor--in bed not able to tell thankfully.

my ps--he's gives me a bit of the impression of being on the bad end of a one night stand. i loved that he was very calculated in recommended my implant options-i do feel he's one of those bigger is better guys. he was pleasant and patient about answering all of my questions and his staff is really fabulous--kind of like your best friend and your mom in one. after the surgery he was great on paper but lacking otherwise. he just kinda sat there and waited for me to ask my questions-answered them a little like i was a bit of a dolt-dismissing all my concerns as nothing and then sending me on my way. no warm fuzzies--no real examinations--no proclamation about how awesome i looked (a girl likes to hear something nice from a man staring at her boobs) no real instructions and certainly no parting gifts like some of you lucky ducks! he didn't do anything bad--he just was kinda like--i did my thing-what else do you want from me. the one appointment where i mentioned my concern with my size he said you wanted bigger boobs- you got them. at that point i was really upset about things and that felt very cruel and heartless. keep in mind i am super sensitive and totally unassertive. he meant it to be offhanded....but it stung a bit. only saw him the day after surgery--2 days after and not quite 2 months after. i'm done unless i have problems--that's fine because those appointments are a long drive with no real meaning. he said there was nothing to be done for my stitch issue--maybe there isn't--he told me i didn't even have a stitch poking out actually. he also told me i didn't have mondors cords (those are totally gone since around one month??) so i showed the nurse the pics to prove it after he left. when i told him about my lump (which you have to dig to feel) he said i don't have a lump it's just my tissue. uh--i'm pretty sure my tissues isn't bean shaped and moves about like a cyst--but whatever--he said to call if it changes. i'm not worried about it so that was fine by me.
that little catty/whiny rant aside-i think his work is great. i wouldn't want too many rules anyhow--so i guess i'm glad he's lax--if i didn't have this site for support and guidance though i woulda been a mess. glad you guys share all the things your ps's say.

um, what else
i've experimented with bra sizes
vs--i have 32dd and 32ddd
walcoal i have 32d and 30dd -the 30 band fits really nice but the dd isn't quite enough cup--at least in that style--i have lines from the cups diagonal across my boobs.
natori i have a 32d and that fits nice too
i like the 30 band because i think it will push the girls together a skosh more--so going to look for some of those.
i've been buying things on ebay new with tags for much cheaper.
i also have cosabellas that i love and a few other rag tag clearance ones from stores like target, shopko and kmart for sleeping. i can wear small to medium in stretchy stuff since my total breast circumference is only 35" i'm kind of on a bubble.

swimsuits were a stress for me
vs had just waaay too much padding overall
they seem like something you'd wear to war and i have no idea how you'd swim with all that padding--you'd either be waterlogged and drown or float to the top. i may use them as flotation devices if the dnr doesn't have objections
i've had much better luck with venus suits--though their padded ones don't fit right for the most part either
few odd and end clearance ones i got that will work and of course my old school ones i'm gonna wear!

i started tanning to prepare for mexico and asked the dr's here for advice on how to protect my incision scars. they all pretty much said don't tan--right thanks--my ps said that too.
i know i shouldn't but i'm not going to mexico pale to burn on the stake day one. we spend a lot of time in the sun and put on sunblock but that sun is cruel
anyhow--i've resorted to using electrical tape to cover my scars--on my lay down pictures that i'll post you can see the tan lines from those a bit--very sexy

my kids--i now let them in the bathroom to hang with my while i'm changing or whatever--i locked doors the first few weeks. no one has said anything about my huge boobs--so that's good. i'm sure my oldest notices but she's kind of quiet about stuff like that so we're just letting it go at that.
still haven't told my mom.
she'll be so disappointed.
will have to do it before family vacation this summer so she can adjust to the idea of her daughter being a sell out
though-i have to say--i would be fine with my girls getting tasteful boobs some day with good reasons and a good head on their shoulders. i wouldn't pick it--but i would understand if they were in a place like me.
i have to say--i hate the stereotype but being here amid other normal women who are self confident and just want a little jshush back i feel pretty good about my decision.
most of you ladies work hard to take care of your bodies and despite your best efforts there's just no way to change your boobs other than surgery. the vast majority of you are beautiful, smart, talented women who aren't doing this for anyone but yourself. that makes me feel very good and warm and fuzzy inside.
i really love and appreciate you all--all your comments and support and ideas and thoughts. i really would never be so happy without you guys.
so, thank you!

i'll post pics from my phone after this.
sorry for the non-linear format for this post and terrible punctuation/spelling. i only have a few minutes to myself a week and i had to type as fast as possible--which means errors and lower case and dashes and dots--same as if i were commenting on your posts from my phone :-)

i did have a note with topics to touch on this post if you can believe i was that organized
however it fell out of my pocket at work today
ha! wouldn't i have liked to see the face of the person who picked it up when they read that list!

2 month photos

Pics to accompany 2 month update

A couple 2 month update things I forgot

I forgot to mention my profile was moderate! It was the option my ps gave me with my bwd and desire for a natural look.
So few women have a plain old moderate profile i wanted be sure I added that in. I don't think I would have picked it if i had researched it here before my surgery just because there are so few and the hp's look so good. However, I think I'm happy with it, though it'd be fun to know what different profiles would look like on me.

And I do feel my implants when I bend over or swing up. Feels like a whir if that makes any sense :-) otherwise I don't really feel them.

Don't feel obligated to comment on yet another post for one update, just wanted to add that. :-)

Well, the cats outta the bag--ugh--my mom found out!

So, yesterday I get an email from my mom asking for the people she works with (a bunch of younger men for the most part) if I got a boob job.
F n small towns--I guess at least this time the gossip is true.
I'm really upset because I only told people close to me--and none of them live in that town or near that town. I hate that someone I confided in chose being the popular gossip for a few minutes over my trust. I have a guess on who it is and hope I can find out for sure!
Anyways...I had a whole (pretty good) plan on how I'd break it to my mom. Now, not only do a look like some bimbo with boobs to her--but also someone who hides things from her mother.
She just said, "why would you do something like that?"
And nothing else.
Sigh, I really really really hate being a disappointment to people. I care too much what others think--but especially my mom.
but-it is what it is

Four month-ish video

4 months
It's a weird angle and the lightening isn't great but I finally got a video posted!

son of a....

ugh...I don't know what I hit but I lost everything I was typing for this post.
I'm ready for bed so this is going to be shorter than the original!
Things are good in boob land--kind of forget I even have implants most of the time. Two months was the big landmark month where everything leveled out for me--I'm feeling pretty comfortable with my new body these days.
I finally uploaded a video. I had to prop my phone on the toothbrush holder so the angle and lighting isn't good--I don't know how all you other girls make such nice videos. I am sad to say I also did not include the background porn music I always think should accompany the rs video clips--maybe next time :-)

I'm still figuring out sizing--sometimes I need a small--sometimes a large in swimsuit tops/bras/etc....it's tricky, tricky tricky tricky....

I started the Farrell's 10 week challenge to get my body back in beach shape--I've been really lax this year and needed a kick in the a$$! Boy, did I get it--this program is awesome and by awesome I mean need to potty in handicapped stalls because you can stand up without help anymore! I'm doing tons of upper body work (my ps was fine with it--I know others say no) and I don't notice I have implants--probably because of the fast pace! I do LOVE my boobs in work out clothes--it's my very favorite part of my ba! I looked so pathetic before in a sports bra--I didn't even need one. So I'm enjoying that!

My scars seems pretty good--I'll add a pic. I was covering them with electrical tape when I tanned--the color difference I think makes them look worse than they would if my skin was all the same light color.

That's it for now.
Oh--and I'm not doing well with the new rs update-I have a hard time keeping up on my phone (which is where I do 99% of my rs work). It's just not as easy--so if I've missed your update--I'm really sorry! I miss hearing from all my regular girls--I hope you're all doing well!!

Scar pic

Here's that scar pic
Both sides are pretty similar

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