Sighhhhh, I'm so hesitant to post on this site......
Sighhhhh, I'm so hesitant to post on this site....weird that I'm ashamed to claim my big nose even though I've decided I want a nose job? I'm embarrassed to even acknowledge this thing on my face. Ha ha! Oh life. So far I have gotten a consultation and I feel really good bout the procedure recovery time, the doctor, and how much it is going to change both my aesthetics and functions of my nose. I have really bad allergies and sinus are a nightmare constantly. My doctor said with surgery he could help me to breathe better while fixing the bump and tip of my nose. My insurance covered part of it but my deductible was $1200 dollars so the 5,000 quoted for cosmetic and however much the rest would have been is now $1200. I don't think that's bad because I have my pre op appointment with pictures and such, the surgery, follow up day after, then week after, then three months later! That's a lot!
I've battled the idea of getting rhinoplasty since I was a teenager. BUT I was fighting giving into what society thought my perception of pretty should be and blah blah blah... Long story short I really really wanted to like my nose. But it was always a struggle. Then about four years ago I was jumped and punched in my face which made my nose crooked, on top of being large. It's just horrendous. So since then, it's really escalated to hating certain pictures, trying to put make up on to make it look smaller, trying to always dress trendy to take away from my face. I'm becoming quite obsessed. And although I still want to hold individual beauty dear to me, I think it's time to cross the line. Eeeeek! I hope if I post pictures, no one makes fun if how ugly it is, but I am a grown woman so I should be able to take it ;)
Someone tell me they have a similar nose and are happy with the results!!! :)
Emotion after deciding on surgery
I just wanted to reach out to the community to see how you cope with life before surgery but after deciding on the procedure? To be specific to what I'm going through....today (on my one day off on six days= Very enticipated) I went to the mall to buy a dress. Ladada I go in the dressing room and it's a three sided mirror! I had to look at my nose for the first time in a while from all angles without any warning. Honestly, I was so upset. It seems for me that now that I've decided I'm getting the surgery and it's set to go (a couple months from now) - I've just been totally disgusted with looking at myself. Have other people gone through this, and if so how do you get yourself out of it? I felt upset that I looked like that and was pissed I couldn't already have had the surgery. I felt ugly and I hate that feeling. Ruined my afternoon.
I know for one, that I'm not hesitant at all to go forward. I know some are on the fence about wanting surgery but I am 100 percent convinced that I have to have this surgery in order to fix this grossly disproportionate thing on my body.
I'm trying to tell myself that it's fine, I'm doing something about it. But the other anxiety driven and insecure side is telling me to stay inside and wear big sunasses until it's go time.
If you've gone through something similar, can you share how you try to jump back?
Tomorrow is the Big Day!
Ahhh! I will be in surgery in 20 hours!
I have all the normal feelings of excitement and anxiety and anticipation, it's crazy! When I talk about what I am expecting post op to people, I feel like I'm talking about someone else. That hasn't quite sunken in that I will be in a lot of pain, I think I'm blinded by the thought of a smaller nose! haha
I have a little storage bin of all the goodies I'll need post op, the only thing I didn't get was Arnica. What are people's thoughts on that? But I have my humidifier, travel pillow, antibiotics, vicodin, ice packs, throat losengers, facial cleansing wipes, chapstick, tissues, straws. I also made some jello, pudding, applesauce, protein shakes, juices, italian ice ( I work in a hospital ;) ) - I'm trying to think of all the things we do for the pre surgery patients. I know I have to keep my head elevated and ice first and foremost! Ooo I am so excited!
Thank you to those who have supported me through this journey, it's been sometimes difficult to make the journey from when I decided I would have the surgery until now. So many different feelings about whether I should go through it, what it means to me in terms of vanity, having open conversations about vulnerability and how much I wanted this change, its just been a whirlwind. But I'm so excited to be going through with it. To know that I researched, saved my money, and made a decision to change something I did not like.
Here's to hoping I don't look like Michael Jackson!
Post Op Day 1
So my surgery was yesterday September 2nd and I had a closed rhinoplasty with propofol, an anti anxiety med and some zofran. The staff in the OR were absolutely awesome and attentive, and the minute he found my vein, the minute I was under. And they talked to me the entire time until I closed my eyes. When I woke up, I felt like I was hit by a truck. To say my throat was dry and achey is an extreme understatement. It felt like the dessert. It was pretty uncomfortable. I only stayed in the recovery room for about a half hour, and I was up and outta there! I was given a local analgesic, so that around 8pm I would start to feel the pain. So when I got home, I took a nap and woke up and administered my first vicodin about four and half hours after surgery. The hardest part while trying to sleep is breathing. I keep having like a choking sound and feeling. It's really bizzare and hard to explain. But the packing is the real deal and there's a LOT of pressure underneath my splint. But I can see looking even at the picture taken right aoutta surgery, that there was a lot of work done. My dorsal hump was removed (which made me beyond happy) my septum was corrected, the tip was worked on and my nose was shorten a bit and he cut a muscle underneath my nostril. So needless to say, that poor thing had a lot of trauma to it.
After I took the first pain reliever, I just iced and went in and out of sleep. It didn't really hurt too badly.
Post Op Day 1 - Who knew breathing would be so annoying? And my throat constantly hurts. But I think my nose looks great so far! I mean since I had such a big bump on it, I automatically see such a huge difference and I am so pleased! When I look to the side, I can actually see something besides my bump! haha My eyes are super swollen, and that is causing pressure, and today overall I feel more pain on the bridge of my nose. But I saw Dr. Newman today and he said that everything went beautifully and smoothly both inside and out during the surgery. He also said that with the work done, this swelling is to be expected. And that when the splint comes off in a week, that the swelling will still be there so try and be patient with it. But he is very pleased with results of the tip and so I am, I guess! I mean who knows, I think it looks good :)
I've been reading a lot of blogs today, and I have seen quite a few post about being sad or depressive post surgery....and so I am trying to be really aware of those feelings. I don't feel sad as of right now, I feel uncomfortable, but I think I am happy with whats happened so far. I know I'm icing as much as I can, and the staff is very attentive, so I'm just trying to be patient with this breathing thing. It's quite the recovery. But I'm like smiling (on the inside) when I look in the mirror, I can feel such a relief it's really incredible. I think regardless of what happens, going through the procedure and going through this has made me feel very strong and in control of my life and I'm super psycked about it.
Hope everyone is having a good journey! I feel so supported on here, hope this post helps someone!
Post Op Day 2
Not much has changed since yesterday....my bruising has gone down, but I'm still very swollen. There is more dull and throbbing pain on my bridge, and so I am still taking the vicodin every 5 hours. I think I am getting used to breathing through my mouth more, but sleep is still a struggle. I love looking at my nose in the mirror, even though it's swollen and bloody and gross, it's so nice to see a straight nose.
How long have other real selfers stayed on the vicodin regimen? I've been taking it every about four and half hours, and if I try to wait until 5 hours, its really throbbing and achey. What are peoples thoughts? I'm scared to take it for too long. Thanks :)
A Pic a Day keeps the Swelling at Bay?
Not much to update, but I want to try and chronicle every day with a photo. Today I am experiencing less pain then the last couple days. It's a throbbing, achey feeling, but I can manage it with a vicodin every 6 hours. Trying to cut down on the narcotics, although they do help me sleep, they dont necessarily take the pain away though. I have less colored bruising, I have been putting the arnica on. I do still have swelling in my face, around my mouth and cheeks, and eyes (obviously). I still can't smile quite yet! Looking forward to the rest of recovery
Post Op Day 4
Today I think I am starting to see the light in this part of my recovery. Although I have to wait until Monday to get my packing off, I was able to sleep for 8 hours last night! It was some kind of miracle! The pain is a little less than yesterday, the achey and throbbing usually when I'm eating or moving around, or if I haven't taken anything for like 5+ hours. Rest is really key I am realizing. The drainage is a little less than yesterday too. Here's a picture of my new nose compared to my old nose, even though I still have the splint on!
Post Op day 5
The pain in my nose was almost unbearable today. I'm getting the packing taken out tomorrow, and I think the pressure in there is causing all this throbbing and radiating pain. Has anyone else had a lot of pain with packing? The pressures in my ear and throat are all off too. Overall not a good day at all. Maybe I was too active yesterday with my niece and nephew, but I've legit been spending 90% of tj time laying on the friggen couch. So over the pain right now. Hope everything is temporary.
the ultimate sigh of relief: packing and splint removal
Hope everyone's healing is going well. Patience is a Virtue. I have to remind myself that about a 100 times a day. And progress, not perfection. A slogan from another type of community, but a good one none the less.
So yesterday at Post Op 6, I got my packing out. It was very anticipated and tiring. I did not come to the office with the best attitude, I made sure to correct both the nurse and doctor when they said, "oh the pressure is bothering you"....I said, "No, the PAIN is!" Like listen, I don't care where the pain is coming from, but thats what it is. I was in a very "anti plastic surgery place" cause I'm sick of people describing this healing as "uncomfortable" and how to "deal with the pressure." And it's just not accurate, what is more appropriate for me is to say it feels like I've been smashed in the face with a hammer and when I go to sleep I choke on my saliva cause I can't breath. But I digress, they use pretty words to market as they do i guess.
Anywho, the removal of the packing wasn't really that bad. I was in a lot of pain and my stomach felt sick because like a dumbass I took a 1000mg of tylenol with no food on the way. But the packing removal wasn't painful, it was more like nails on a chalkboard. If I can keep it a 100% real on realself, its just basically removing two super tampons from your nose - complete with the bloody mess. So its more gaggy than anything. But right away, I felt the air in my nose and I thought I could cry. It soon got stuffy again, and I went home and sat by the warm mist humidifier for three hours. But theres a definite change in the feeling of your airways. Its crowded, and you can't blow your nose. So just like if you had packing and had to get used to it, you have to get used to now having this wound without packing. It doesn't drain a lot per say, but it feels like it is. Still, the next day. I have a terrible desire to blow my nose to clean it out, but I could literally bleed out, so that's not a good idea.
So then today I had my splint removed, and this time I entered the office in a very good mood. I soaked it in the shower as instructed, and it was the best shower of my life. The splint removal was painful because my skin was very much stuck to the adhesive. So the nurse had to apply more liquid to it and basically peal it off with a q tip. And man oh man, I was praising God for sure. It felt amazing. The bridge of my nose is very very tender and it hurt like a mother when it came to that area. But I also had a very large bump removed from the area, as well as a crooked septum, so that's my own experience. But I was just so elated. And listen, our faces are gonna swell up like balloons! It just is what it is. When I looked in the mirror, there were all these dents and redness from the splint and it's like I have the face of a sumo wrestler. My whole face is tinted yellow, my eyes are bruised and my entire nose is swollen times a million. But it feels so good to get a look at it!
I've decided today that I need to be more easy on myself and this process. I was so grateful today to eat normal food and to be able to smell it. My nose doesn't have a bump, and it seems like I might have a tip beaneath the big ball of swollen tissues, so it's all good! I'm very lucky to have this website to come to and be more comfortable with my decision and honest about the process. It carries over into my life, like I've now gone out to eat twice, inside coffee shops, trader joes, with the splint and all! My nose is no longer my enemy, so I don't mind talking about it to people. Before I would cringe if I felt like my nose was even being looked at, or someone even mentioned noses. I think that we are really strong people for even contemplating changing something that brings us grief. If someone is overweight, they can diet, they can dye their hair and wax their lips, so why should we be ashamed of doing this? To me its the same, you know minus the risk of surgery ;)
Days 8 & 9 Post Op - A quickie!
Wanted to update this thang quickly, as I am trying to journal every day post op. Every day is so entirely different recovering from this surgery!
Yesterday was an absolutely great day! I had tons of congestion when I woke up per usual. I had a friend coming over, and I had little to no pain and my swelling looked great! I put a dab of make up on my face (including my nose) and then went out to dinner! We talked a lot, and I tried hard not to laugh because it's way uncomfortable. When I came home, I noticed that my nose still had tape on it, and since I had make up on it, I started to freak out and wanted to wash it all off. So I washed and exfoliated my face and nose with a washcloth, being very careful. Kinda soaking my face with water and then gently rubbing it off with a washcloth. It felt so good to get the tape and dried skin off. Went to bed a happy girl.
Holy Lawd, when I woke up this morning, my nose was throbbin and I looked in the mirror and my nose was so so so so swollen! So much bigger than yesterday. It was insane, and I was so congested, I couldn't even breath through my nose. I was pretty upset and tried sitting by my humidifier to clear it out, but it hurt my nostrils! It was so strange. And I noticed that my bottom lip is going through some funky tenderness. But more importantly, I just couldn't even look in the mirror because the swelling was so bad, my tip looked like a pig nose, and my bridge is so swollen and wide it was so depressing. I thought that the swelling would subside slowly day by day, but I guess not! It's been very tough for me not to recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I feel like I don't look like myself mainly because I cannot smile. At all. Especially today, I can't even show my top teeth! My nose I know will look beautiful some day, but it's impossible for me to get used to seeing something different every day when I wake up! So today I spent majority of my day cooking to get my mind off things because I didn't want to go out in public (dramatic I know), and it probably made the swelling worse because I was kinda moving around a lot and bending, etc. But the whole day, I was having aches and throbbing especially around the bridge of my nose. Ugh, I iced it a bunch of times. I think I should just ALS ice bucket challenge my nose! haha
This patience thing is really tough. When I look back at my pictures from before surgery, I am very happy to have my taste back, my sense of smell back, and to have my bump gone. But it is very trying on the pyske to go through the ups and downs like this. I can't wash my face, eat foods I want, go to the gym, lay in the sun, smile, talk for a long period of time. I just want to be back to normal! It's driving me crazy! It's hard for me to rest I guess. I just try and stay out of my head for a while and entertain myself with cooking, television, music, etc....until I feel confident to go out. I still have bruising anyways!
I hope today I feel better, I have to call the surgeon's office to set up an appointment so I may voice my concerns, just so he can ease my feelings. I know he will say "its swelling, its so soon..." but I need to just be affirmed.
So the take away from these two days is 1. Leave your nose alone and 2. If you are having more than rhinoplasty (septoplasty and turbinate reduction, etc....) your recovery will be a little more complex. There's going to be congestion, drainage, a feeling of running nose, and throbbing from the correction of the deviated septum.
Hope you all are having a good week! Leave me some positive stories below!
Post Op Day 10 & 11
A little late on the update, but days 10 and a 11 were really just full of congestion and stuffiness, which was beginning to make me frustrated. I feel like a dog wit my tongue out! But I got dressed and put on some powder (since I'm petrified of touching my nose) I just put some on my cheeks and such. And I felt really good almost a little bit like back to normal. It was still swollen, but with my hair down, it looks kinda normal.....I hung out with my family too but I started to get some sinus headaches from all this damn stuffiness of mess inside the nose so I went home and hung out by the humidifier, my new favorite hangout. I sound so nasally, and for some reason I am really tired, like physically tired, most be the healing.
Today Day 11 - I spent a lot of time in my room with the humidifier on! Just watched movies with my fiance. I got showered to go out to dinner and a little crusty fell out my nose! I was really excited, ha ha ha! So there's been some drainage coming out of one nostril, so I can kinda breathe through it for now. Not great, but its something. That side feels so much better. I think cause I walked around a lot earlier this morning at the mall, and because Ifelt so much sinus pressure, I then rested and then got up and walked around a lot again!!! I'm hoping it doesn't get bad again, but I shall enjoy these moments of sort of breathing for now.
My nose today I think looks better, but in pictures it looks terrible. I read on here that that is very common. Oh well, I will post some!
Hope everyone is having a good night!!!!!