I saw my doctor on July 27th, I have always wanted...
I saw my doctor on July 27th, I have always wanted them and I am finally in a position where my bills are not so heavy I can take on another financial responsibility. I chose to get a consultation with the surgeon who performed the same type of surgery on my mother in 1994. I am going with 270cc's, under the breast and silicone implants! It can't come any sooner but this will be a good time for me to gain a little weight before the surgery and take care of my well being so I'm healthy and don't get sick!
A before photo
Here is a film strip of my current ~look~. I don't want to post wish pictures yet because I'm trying to manage my expectations! 4 months away is a long time to wait, I almost want to make it sooner but I'm paying for this myself so the time will be good for me to save a huge portion if not all of it by then! Cant wait.
Two More Months
I have wanted a boob job ever since I found out they weren’t going to outgrow a size 32A bra. I have always considered myself a beautiful person, at some times, less than others, but for the most part I know that I am blessed and come from good looking people. Whether I want to acknowledge it or not, I am perfect the way that I am. I was gifted a healthy and fully functional mind, body and spirit at birth. I have chosen over the course of my early adulthood to poison my mind with false ideals and beliefs, contaminate my body with drugs and alcohol and deny it of nourishment and neglect my spirit and allow my ego to drive my life.
I made an appointment to get my breasts done bigger in July and have my date set for November. I have started to give my mind, body and spirit my full attention and cant help but ask myself. Is this still something I want, even after acknowledging I am perfect as is? My answer to this question is, YES. I have a lot of healing to do on the inside and this will be something I will be working on every day for the rest of my life, but is an absolute must. At times I am afraid that the breast surgery might kick me off my path of my daily positive affirmations, spiritual readings and knock me off alignment with my higher power, God, the universe, source, or whatever you do or don’t believe in. I do NOT believe that having bigger boobs will give me a better life. I believe I am perfect as is, but when I got fitted for 270cc’s and saw myself in the mirror, I will tell you. It certainly sparked joy and released endorphins and it certainly reaffirmed everything I had been feeling all along.
My self worth does not come from my exterior and I will continue to remind myself that plastic surgery will not be spiritually detrimental so long as I continue to nourish my mind, body and spirit. I am going to continue to radiate love and compassion. I pray that getting cosmetic surgery will not interfere with my Spiritual Awakening or Psychic Ability. I also pray that I am able to remain strong through the healing process and continue my daily affirmations that I am amazing as is! The healing process with getting tattoos was about a month, I know this will be longer and more painful but I know I’m beautiful now and I know I’ll be just as beautiful on the inside after, just with bigger boobs.
Pre-Op January 18th!
I was supposed to have my surgery in November but I had to change my date due to many factors, but I finally have my pre-op this month! My new surgery date is February 3rd, I took 9 days off work and I hope thats enough. I'm a hair stylist and have to do a lot of lifting with the blow dryer but I think I'll be okay. Woohoo!!! Can't come soon enough !!!
4 Days Until Surgery
30 Jan 2016
2 months post
After changing my surgery date like 3 times due to indecisiveness and my inability to get the proper amount of time off work to heal; My surgery day is on Wednesday and I'm super excited. Looking at real self has been helpful. I haven't been nervous at all and have more exuberance and excitement about it than anxiousness. But of course now I'm doing mental check lists making sure it all works out. I am going with 270cc's. Of course my anxiousness is hitting NOW! 4 days before.... I still weigh about 95 lbs, I'm super skinny, you can even see my bones in my chest. I'm now of course afraid they won't be big enough. As a hair stylist I know exactly what it's like to mismanage your expectations and want to come out feeling like a movie star. I understand that no matter what, as humans some days we will have days where we love ourselves and some days we will have days we hate ourselves. I'm already prepping myself with dissatisfaction but want to go back to that feeling of excitedness! I love my small boobs, I think 270CC's sounds appropriate for me... I understand we always want what we can't have. People with curly hair want straight hair, people with white skin want brown skin and people that are thicker want to be skinnier. That's the way this world works, I need to stay confident and happy and have faith and trust that this will be a proper size. And also understand it will take years for me to grow into them! I have never seen a boob job on anybody yet under 300CC's, but when I tried on the bra it seemed just right! I'm just hoping my instinct and intuition is right.
Ideal Boobs/Wishful Thinking
30 Jan 2016
2 months post
So these girls all had at least 350-425CC on their breast implants. But I love how full they look. I'm hoping because my frame is SO SMALL, it will still have this effect. Starting to feel like I should call my PS tomorrow but I don't want to be THAT client....
¡2 Mas Dias!
I haven't told anybody at my work that I'm taking 10 days off for surgery. I told one girl, maybe she will tell everyone. I'm half afraid of judgement and half just wanna see if anybody will notice a difference. After talking to my mom (who has gotten breast implants herself) about my insecurities of possibly not getting big enough implants she assured me that 270cc's will be perfect and any more than that would just not suite my frame. She said something that helped me though; it's like going wedding dress shopping. You find the perfect dress, it fits you perfect and you fall in love with it!!-- But then you decide to continue looking just to see what else is out there and forget that feeling of joy the first dress you chose. I need to just remember that feeling of when I tried on the bra with the implants in them and remember how happy it made me and how sure I was then and not let the juxtaposition of realself blog pics distract me from what is best for me.
The Countdown Begins
I can't wait to take cute pictures after all is said and done! I mean don't get me wrong I think my pics are cute with small boobs but I am v excited. Just picked up my antibiotics and anxiety meds for my big day. Here's some more pics of me before.
The Implants Have Landed
Yesterday at 8am I woke up and my mom took me to he surgery clinic in Pleasanton. Everyone was super nice and communicative and I felt so safe. They had me change into a smock and tied me to the bed. I was not put to sleep but they numbed my chest area quite a bit and gave me numbing medicine through my veins from what I remember. I was awake through the whole process, it didn't hurt until they put the implant in. That's when I started sobbing, but it was a mix of emotions. I was crying because it hurt but also because my PS and the nurses all said "it looks so beautiful" and I just felt so happy because it's all I ever wanted. When all was said and done they put me in a wheel chair, gave me some Sprite with a straw and helped me in my moms car. I got all propped up in my moms bed and she helped me take my antibiotics and some pain meds (which I'm trying to stay limited on). My plastic surgeon called me around 7pm just to say hi and see how I'm doing, reminded me how beautiful my implants are and to stay propped up and rested. Although this pain is hardcore I feel so grateful and happy to have chosen this surgeon and have such a wonderful mom who can help me with this. I'm so excited and grateful. It's 4am so obviously I'm having some trouble sleeping, I'm going to try and meditate now.
It's Healing Time!
It's day 2 of healing and I've been glued to the bed. I threw up a lot this morning. I called my doctor and told them I threw up my antibiotics and she said its okay and to eat something and take another one. My bff and BF both sent me flowers :) !! I ate menudo for lunch and sushi for dinner. The pain for really bad when I stopped taking my pain medication for a couple hours, so for now I'm going to stay on them. I'm so pleased with how they are looking, I couldn't really be more happy. I know it takes months for them to drop and heal but wow, I have boobs!! I'm blessed!!!
It's Day 5, I switched to Tylenol 2 days ago. The oxycodone was making me feel so sick!! I am doing the massages when I can remember and am able to walk around. I can't wait to be able to sleep on my stomach, I see my doctor again on the 10th. Can't wait!
One Week Post Op
10 Feb 2016
3 months post
It's been super hard sleeping upright! I have one more day off of work then it's back to the old grind. I'm relieved because I've been so bored this week and feel like I have got nothing done. My breathing has been short and I'm assuming it has to do with the tightness of my chest after the implants. My nipples are huge and really sensitive. Yesterday I took half of an oxycodone with a spinach salad after I had already been only taking tylonal the past couple days and ended up completely sick and miserable that I'm completely done with the oxy and don't even wanna look at it. Never was a drug person but I would rather be in mild discomfort than feel dope sick / oxy hungover after only a couple hours of taking it lasting the rest of the day. Everyone on here seems to say it takes 3 months to a year for the boobs to drop. I can't wait though because the implants are just pushing out my nipples making them huge and since the skin is stretching it's so sensitive there! I go back and see my doctor on February 16th. I can't wait for the incision to heal and to start sleeping on my side and stomach! That will be the best.