30 years old, 176cm, 57kg , 1 Child, 295cc moderate. From 10B to 10D

Hi Lovely Ladies.
Well things have changed so much since my surgery. I've had so many emotional stressful things in my life unrelated to my breast but i think in the beginning of recovery it was effecting the way I felt about my breast. BUT finally!!!! finally! I'm at peace with my breast. They always will be bigger then what I wanted, but I'm comfortable with them now, I like them and they feel like they're mine not some add on attachment which is great!!!. I've had one or two occasions where I've shown them off, but its winter so they're mostly hiding at the moment thanks to the winter layers hahaha.
I got breast implants because my empty post pregnancy and breast feeding boobs literally disgusted me. I'm a extremely very fit person and before my surgery I was very confident and proud of my body except my breast, i literally hated them, i was insecure, i felt like i could never not wear a bra, that I didn't look feminine, and during sex if i caught sight of them I would be turned off and be hoping my boyfriend wasn't looking at them too. Those hateful feelings about my own body are gone and that is so liberating!! sex is so much better because when my breast are getting attention i don't squirm with insecurities any more i can enjoy that. My nipples are no longer hypersensitive too which is great! because that was really annoying. I'm still massaging in the morning and at night and applying the silicone to my scars, I've been very rough massaging/pinching my scars to try and soften the lumps of the internal scars but haven't notice much of a change in 2-3 weeks. My scars are fading nicely and honestly everything is going well. I've bought a few bra's on sale (i have a lingerie addiction) but I haven't yet lost the body fat I gained from my surgery because I've been studying really hard and dealing with a gut wrenching break up so my work outs have been few and far between. So I'm going to be getting back into it soon and I'll wait till 6 months post op to buy some nice expensive stuff as I'm worried I may drop a bra size if I loose the rest of my natural tissue with my body building obsession.
Overal I am so happy and glad I've got them gone. I do feel guilty about the money as Since my surgery Ive had my computer die, which i need for work, a expensive specialist appointment for my child, car registration which require 4 new tyres and so I've had to borrow money from family members which is something I've never had to do before. It makes me feel irresponsible and like a bad Mum to be honest, and it's not pleasant to feel guilty and ashamed of the only selfish thing you ever did for yourself in your life, especially when it makes you feel so good about yourself. I can't help but think people are going to be like "oh.. she is crying poor but has enough money for cosmetic surgery!! well thats her own fault" I'm still paying off my surgery and will be until i finish my study and can start making more money.
The only other concern I have is now I'm single, i feel insecure about my scars, My ex boyfriend is an incredibly beautiful man he was so supportive of my surgery and my emotional struggles after, I still love him and I'm not sure I'll ever stop because he is incredible, but we just couldn't make it work.
But now I have to think about the time when I'm ready to get back out there, and how I'm going to be insecure about my scars, there is a misconception and stigma attached to the bad stereotype of a girl with "fake [RS bleep]" and I don't want people to mis judge who I am,.
I guess any man stupid enough to do so is probably not intelligent enough for me fall in love with and so i shouldn't care about his opinion, but its still something that crosses my mind.
Hope you're all well, I'll check back on comment over the next few days and then won't post for another month.
xoxox

8 weeks post op
8 weeks today! They've soften up really nicely and I've been pinch massaging the scars very vigorously so I feel they're has been a lot of improvement on the internet scar tissue. My right breast I can barely feel anything under the skin my left still has a chunk I can feel which I hope eases eventually. I had bought some cheap bras to try and last me 6 months but they're quite uncomfortable so j may have to fork out some $$ sooner for nicer stuff. I have one or two sexy bras, two sports bras and and three tshirt bras.
I don't think the scars have changed much which is a a little disheartening. But I know that will probably take a year before they're not noticeable. I'm still very self conscious about how big they are and finding 10d sports bras that are quality is impossible they just never seem to have my size. I've been covering them up a lot and wearing baggy T-shirts. It's good we are coming into winter as it makes it easier to keep them hidden and by the time the layers come off I'll be more comfortable with them. I went to the beach the other day with my son and was super paranoid about people looking at me thinking "look how fake her boobs are" seriously what an idiot! Hahaha most days I don't notice them, but I am very much enjoying having them in the bedroom. Im still manage them once or twice a day.
I've been depressed and suffers some pretty bad anxiety due to my relationship falling apart so I've been slacking of my exercise which isn't helping me feel good about myself but when I do train I train hard. I did deadlifts yesterday forge first time since my surgery and felt great. Today i feel like someone beat me up Hahahaha but it's just DOMS. For the most part I'm happy, and I know the more they settle and the more time goes on, the happier I'll be with them. Hope you're all well