Hi all...I'm soon to be 51. I'm going to share my...
Hi all...I'm soon to be 51. I'm going to share my story as many already have. Finding this site has helped so much!
I have developed bags under my eyes. My right eye is much worse then my left. It began when I was about 30 and gets progressively worse with time. I will post pics later. I always knew I wanted to do something about this. Now that I'm 50, my upper lids are beginning to droop as well, so I figure if I'm going to go thru this I may as well do both.
Over the past 2 years, I read a lot, found this website and went for 3 consultations. All with board certification. Each doctor gave me a different recommendation, and each had very different prices.
I chose my doctor based on where I felt the most comfortable and had the most trust. He met all the criteria I read to look for and I like the fact he has been practicing a very long time, has a good rep in the community and is also the chief of plastic surgery of a local hospital in my town. I guess I figured if he is the "chief" he must be good. I hope this is a good assumption however I realize problems can arise in any situation.
I am 3 weeks out from my appt. I just paid today. If I back out...ill lose a bit of money. I'm scared. Big time. I have no support system going into this.
Only one person knows I'm doing this. My friend. I am single. My family would flip out if they knew I was doing this. So I can't say anything. Also, I am worried about work. I will have to return to work on day 11 post. I sure hope this is enough time for healing, and that there are no complications. I am terrified of this surgery not working out well...although I feel I have done my homework, quit smoking for 2 months, and wanted this badly.
My doc will be using a laser for the incisions, and fat removal. He claims there will be little bruising because the laser cauterizes as he uses it, preventing bleeding. He also assures me that with the proper amount of fat removal I will not look hollowed.
There is much guilt that I am doing this. Guilt that I feel selfish and vain to spend this money (I'm not rich) to be under General anesthesia while someone cuts and removes fat bulging from my eye sockets. It's bizarre, but I wanted this done because I'm tired of looking tired. I'm tired of people telling me I look tired. I'm tired of avoiding mirrors. If all goes well, this surely would be a confidence boost for me. If things go bad...I know ill want to die. I'm not 100 percent yet that I will go through with this.
Any and all comments,opinions,advice is welcomed.
6 days away
Next week at this time these bags will be gone. I'm not expecting perfection but I am hoping for a drastic improvement, a positive experience, and a better feeling about my appearance. Posting this pic pains me. Thank goodness for makeup.
It's not to late...
If anyone doubts my posts and questions my decisions...say so now! It's not to late to cancel!
7 Jul 2016
Day of treatment
This pic is about 5 hrs post op. All went well and I am resting. I will post more later. Thanks to this site, I figure this is exactly how I'm supposed to look at this point. So far so good I guess. I'm thankful I can shut my eyes for sleepy time!
Post op day 1
Hi-here I am post op day 1. I didn't believe when my doc said little bruising and swelling but there isn't much. He even said not to bother with ice! And I haven't! I obviously have a little swelling, and I think I see a wee bit of bruising under the sterile tape. There's little pain and I was advised to take Motrin as it will decrease the swell as well as help with pain and it does. I'm aloud to shower today and clean the wounds w q tip and saline. That will be nice. All in all I feel pretty good but know I better continue to take it easy. I'm raring to go on the inside but if I'm up to long I feel pressure, so I will sit with my audio book again today. I really did do everything possible to be in a healthy state before this. And, I am eating fruits, greens and protein drinks now as well as downing arnica, bromelain and lots of water. My doc laughed at the arnica and said...if you want too.
In so far as my appearance, it's way too soon to tell but I see a symmetry that I find pleasing. Again because of this site, I feel like all is ok with the things I see and I'm where I'm supposed to be...and far from the point of making judgement. But, I can say so far it has been a positive experience and I'm happy it's done. I would say this is because I was mentally prepared due to this site, and felt a trust with my doctor of whom I'm feeling a great deal of respect for at this time.
This is no cake walk. Anyone who does this needs a lot of patients. It's only day one and I have a long way to go, and I feel crabby. I'm looking a lot worse tonight and am concerned I see chemosis...jelly like stuff in my eye. It's bumming/stressing me out. My upper lids feel swollen, numb and tight. I can't really decipher what is going on with my lower lids under this tape. Maybe that's good that I can't see that for now. My whole face seems mad at me and my skin looks awful. Only thing left to do is go to bed and hope for a better tomorrow. All this grief over eye bags. Grrrr. Excuse my rant.
Omg...I felt pretty this morning.
So after a rough night I woke up this morning looked in the mirror and gasp...felt pretty. I haven't felt that at 5 in the morning in ages. I hope it's a sign of things to come.
I think the worst of the swelling and discoloration has come and is on its way down. I didn't realize till today how my whole face was swollen. Even the upper part of my nose. Currently I'm feeling the swelling more localized all around the eye area. What I'm thinking is chemosis settled down too and now I see it vaguely in another area. I'm thinking this is typical so early on in healing and won't be alarmed yet.
I look at my pic and I see me, but I don't. It's freaky. I'm not appalled by what I see but it's different. I can still see the spark in my eyes though so I know I'm in there and think I will look more like myself each day. It's so so early. Must be patient.
I'm not ready to go anywhere yet. I'm still feeling a weak woozy and tired. Most likely because I've been sleeping bad trying to keep propped up. Rest, good food and lots of water are what I need the most.
Day 3 and much to see...
I'm looking a whole lot more like myself today but there is still significant swelling in the eye and nose area. Although some of you may be saying ...wow for 3 days, there really IS much more healing to do. Things are very, very tender.
I'm liking the upper lids. I feel it was artistry how the shape of my eyebrows was incorporated into this new upper eyelid design. lol
Lower lids still remain a mystery. Stitch pattern and tissue healing on right eye appear a bit different then left, but then again my right eye was much much worse,had 4x more fat, muscle, and sag to it doc said. Should be interesting how that comes out.
I've looked in the mirror more in the past 3 days then in the past ten years. Feeling good enough today to step out w a friend for a bite. Sunglasses and hat will be worn.
I hope these posts help someone. Seeing the progress of others helped me immensely.
Concern on Day 4
I had a great day yesterday. I was very upbeat and happy so I went to bed excited about what I'd see today.
Upon washing my face my steri strip on the left was beginning to come off so I assisted it to come all the way off and to my dismay found the big bag you see in the pics.
Granted I am only 4 days out but yikes. I sure hope this settles out and is not a product of inner hollowing. I don't and never wanted to mess with fillers thus that is why I proceeded with this surgery.
This was my "good" eye. I don't even want to ponder what it looks like under the tape of the bad one.
I retaped what I could because if I smiled I'd get a big wrinkle under that poof. So now I'll just carry on the day with prayers hoping that I haven't traded one issue for another. A bit down today.
Day 6 status
Swelling underneath continues but will hopefully go down.
Appt tomorrow for stitch removal. Can't wait for that as the stitches and incision lines are becoming quite bothersome with them still in. And I'd like to discuss my concerns.
Hoping for more improvement with time but am pleased that the bags are gone. Side view is amazing compared to what it was pre surgery.
I am enjoying the upper lid look. No makeup has never been this flattering for me and I like it.
Stitches out....I have a lot to say.
Hi. This is going to be long because I have much to say and it's my journey so I'm gonna say it. One, to get it out, and two, just Mabey it will help someone.
Granted, it's still early but I will say I'm not happy at this point. Some people so early on in this site post how they already love their new look ....I just can't say that now. Nor am I sure if ill ever be able to although I know it's still early.
I think my doc knew my feelings right off the bat. I have no doubt the emotional turmoil this surgery brings was written all over my face. I explained to him that I liked the uppers. Although they don't seem as symmetrical now as they first appeared, it's still healing...and that can change. The uppers are ok and at this point I will say I am ok with them and can live with them.
The lowers...oh boy. I explained my concerns to the doc and he didn't seem too happy to hear that I had concerns. He said that although I am still swelled a bit, that I will have the puffs under my eyes in my final result because that is the muscles of my lower eyelid I am seeing. I guess what he is trying to say is that now that the fat pads are removed (thus him doing his job) I am seeing what I would see if they were never there. He told me I am just not used to the new look, that he thinks it looks good, and that it is a more youthful appearance because he even tightened the muscles. I don't even know what to say to that. Maybe he's right. Maybe he's not. I just don't know. What I do know though is I'm not really liking it at this point and it wasn't what I was hoping for or expected. My bad I guess.
Aside from the new bags (muscle) I see hollowing and some wrinkles I'm not caring for either. So basically I may have just traded one problematic look for another. Mind you, I was never expecting or hoping for perfection, but I was hoping for something better than this. And At this point I'm hoping the next days, weeks, months bring a miracle and leave me with something I can deal with. I will be praying.
A note on fat removal. I chose to have fat removal opposed to fat removal with transfer and I did this because it was explained to me that if the right amount was taken, things would be fine. I figured also the less someone messed with me the better off I'd be. Well now I see that I could probably use some filler to correct things a bit...but after hearing the horror stories on that forget it. If anything I need to let this all settle then I may go seek another opinion (to see if I was messed up) but to be honest I don't want to spend more money on this to get it fixed and or have more issues. This was a one time gamble, toss of the dice, hit or miss option. Regardless of how much you research and select a surgeon, it's a gamble and you can't guarantee your outcome. Know that. And, unlike a bad hair cut, it doesn't grow out. You will win or you lose, period.
I'm glad the stitches are out and I was told to buy and sleep with silicon scar strips to help with the lumpy bumpy scars. These seem nice. I hope they work . I don't want scars on top of everything else.
It does seem like once stitches are removed, things improve. At least for the time being. I really hope that is the case for me. I need a sign this will be ok.
In closing, it's a shame people feel the need to do this to feel better about themselves. There has to be a better way then paying big dollars for someone to cut your face or body so you can feel more attractive. For what? What happened to beauty being on the inside?
I turned 51 today. I kinda feel like crying on my birthday, but I don't want bigger eye bags,,so I won't.
Day after stitches out. Day 8
My eyes feel releaved to have the stitches out and the uppers look great but nothing is happening to the bags. It looks terrible. With a 94% worth it rate I am devastated beyond words I am going through this. Yes, I want a second opinion but right now I feel like I need to sit tight for 3 months because that is what is said to do.
I am so thankful for all of you responding that you see what I see and am not being picky. Seriously, to pay 5k to look this way is beyond words. I should be improving. Does anyone think I will?
I'm pretty ticked at that doc to say this is a youthful look. Seriously? Also I am wondering why my muscles were tightened when that was never even mentioned as a possibility in my 2 consults. I have another follow up in 2 weeks and if nothing has changed I'm going to have to try to get some money back. Considering this is a well respected doc...chances are slim.
Again, the bags WERE supposed to be removed. Not more created. I'm not a big beauty buff either...I just wanted one procedure to do that. I don't want fillers.
Any comments, suggestions please post. I'm at a loss right now and am most likely going to have to get glasses to hide behind. Thank you for all the support.
I look at these pics..,,
I look at these pics and I am sick. Remember, I did this with no one knowing. What will my co workers and family say . How can I possibly explain this to anyone. I am so embarrassed. Why me?
Hi everyone. Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I very much appreciate it. I really don't want to post any new pics now, so I won't. I may even remove the ones I have posted because I find them difficult to look at. Anyhow I figured I'd give you all an update.
Over the last few days I saw and spoke to a friend and someone else very much in the know about procedures. My friend said she thought I looked ok, but noticed what my concerns were. The other person felt that what was done was done ok and needs to just heal more. Both thought I didn't look as bad as the pictures I took, (and posted here) but who really says the truth about that stuff anyway.
The scars are beginning to fade, and the new bags may have decreased by a teeny tiny bit, but nothing much. They are still there and what I focus on when I look in the mirror....just like my old ones. Funny, I still avoid the mirror just as much as before too.
My feelings on all this right now is that all the pain, anxiety, and money spent wasn't really worth it for me. Granted healing is still under way, but right now I really don't think I look any better, or feel any better than I did before, just different. The guilt I had before this, is still there too. Guilt that I wasn't comfortable enough in my own God given skin and that I had to make such a radical change and spend a lot of money (that could of been used elsewhere) to try to look better, possibly younger, or feel better about myself. And/or somehow try to cheat the aging process. To be frank, right now I just think it's stupid and feel a little ashamed I fell prey to all this superficial crap women do to remain attractive.
So that's where it stands. Back to work tomorrow. Ugh. Today I need to do a practice run on my makeup for the first time on these new eyes. You'd think I should be excited, but I'm really not.
Anyone considering this surgery should really do some soul searching prior. Sometimes all you think need, you already have.
3 weeks and 3 days.
I'm sooo tired of this saga. If someone could have explained to me and I could have seen all I've been through I would not have done this.
I swear I feel like healing will take 6 months to a year for all this to settle down. No one really tells you that. My lids feel tight, tender, still swelled, and scars still very visible. Yes, I took my pics down...I'm just sooo sick of looking at it.
I'm still not happy with my lowers. I think they look hollowed around the orbital rim, and now that the fat pads are removed it makes the muscles of my eyes pop out when I smile. So I try not to. I think I said before, I just traded one issue for a another basically, and still owe a lot of money, so ...no, I'm not real happy here, but I'm still praying and hoping that some of this still resolves itself in the months ahead as 3.5 weeks out ain't really nothing for some of us. I seriously can feel everything moving around in there trying to heal and stabilize. It's a long, long, process.
I've seen an occuloplastic surgeon who thinks nothing "wrong" was done to me and that I still need to heal. And, I've been back to my doc for my 3 wks visit who was already talking about fillers in the future, then sent me on my way until my next visit...3 months from now.
This can happen to anyone. And does. No matter whom you choose as a surgeon, and no matter how qualified they are, you may not end up with the results you were hoping for. In my case, I really don't know if I could have gotten a pleasing result from someone else, or if it's just my anatomy and the way I heal that is causing me this distress. I most likely never will know. All I do know is that what I figured to be an easy fat pad removal surgery, was not so easy after all and produced a result I was not expecting, nor am very happy with.
On a positive note, I see some of the complications on here that seem far more serious then mine, so for that I am thankful and just hope that I continue to heal ok without my eyelid drooping or whatever. Also, I can say that the shape of my eyes haven't changed so that Is also a big win for me in this game of PS chance.
Lastly, Right now all I can do is nothing. Nothing can really be fully assessed or addressed until all this heals. So I have no choice but to wait this out till the 3 month mark. Then the 6 month mark at which point Im going to go again for another opinion on this result. If anything, just to see what... if anything ...went wrong.
At this point ...like I said... all I want to do is heal without any setbacks or further disappointments. I've already been pushed to my limits with this whole ordeal. I want this whole ordeal with my eyes to be over.
I'm sure some people at work thought wtf upon my return. Others didn't notice...or hid their reactions