Sick for 10 Years and Want My Implants Out! - Cleveland, OH

I got implants about 11 years ago. I have been sick for 10. I just recently came across hundreds of stories of women with the same "mysterious" illness as I have from their (supposedly safe) saline implants. I'm getting mine out!

I am 34 and I have smooth saline implants 375 cc, breastfed 2 children (pre-implant), was a 34A before my surgery and am a 34D now.

For the last 10 years I have experienced many health problems (I'm so used to being sick I'm not sure I can even remember them all), including fybromyalgia, daily body pain (like the flu) brain fog, headaches, intestinal/digestive problems, extreme fatigue, thyroid problems, joint pain, sensitivity to chemicals, on and off food sensitivities and allergies, tmj, ringing in the ears, always dehydrated no matter how much water I drink, dry skin, dry eyes, sensitivity to light, heat intolerance, skin rashes and sensitivities, eczema, hair falling out, dental problems, strange smelling urine, pain in shoulders and neck, weird tingling in my hands and fingers, (and more I'm sure).

Aesthetically I have some contracture in the right breast and unevenness between the two, as well as a weird muscle issue when I flex and when I lay down my right breast stands straight up while my left sinks down into my armpit. Although I've thought about getting them fixed I never did because I was so scared of the surgery. My initial surgery recovery was much longer, harder and more painful than anticipated.

These illnesses have taken away so much of my life, so much of my joy and my time. I honestly can't even remember what it feels like to not have pain in my body -- I can't even imagine it.

Just about a month ago I happened to google "fybromyalgia and saline implants" and came across one story after another of women with the same symptoms and illness as I have that had developed after breast augmentation with "safe" saline implants and went away after explant.

I was shocked, horrified and sad beyond belief. I told my husband that night and started crying. I cried all night and into the next day. I think I cried for 24 hours straight. I cried for the loss I felt for all the years gone by, I cried for the guilt and shame that I had done this to myself out of vanity, I cried for the girl who didn't love herself and needed to get implants in the first place, I cried out of fear of the future -- the pain of surgery, the embarrassment of having to tell people what I had done and the loss of my body as I know it now.

It was a very intense few days and a lot of emotions that have been hiding for a long time came streaming to the surface. After I was able to think clearly I started doing research on top surgeons and narrowed it down to Kolb, Melmed or Feng. After talking to their staff, I chose Feng. My phone conversation with them put me immediately at ease and assured me that I was doing the right thing and that Feng was the surgeon for me.

I am scheduled for explant November 3rd, and am experiencing quite a roller coaster of emotions while I wait. One day I am terrified, the next I am angry, then sad because I don't want to lose my breasts, then scared to death of how I might look, and next thing you know I'm excited to finally have a chance to be healthy, to be free, to have my life back!!!

The more I research explant and read other women's stories the more sure I am that I'm doing the right thing and the more I'm looking forward to not just being healthy again (of course) but of having my natural body and shape back. I'm ready to be done with these things!

I'm about a week and a half away from explant and wanted to share my pre surgery photos. I know the photos from other women on here have been especially helpful to me.

I'm here in Ohio waiting to explant... My surgery is in the afternoon and I have trouble with low blood sugar so they suggested I eat up until the 8 hour no-eating-or-drinking time, so it's 3:41 am and I'm trying to get as much food and water down as possible. Kind of hard though because my stomach is upset from the nerves.

We are staying at the Homewood suites. It's very comfortable and the staff is quite nice. We have a large room, coincidentally we ended up with the handicap room, which my husband was glad for in terms of helping me after surgery. There is plenty of space and a full size refrigerator. We found a Whole Foods and a Trader Joe's just down the street and also a beautiful hiking are called West Woods that is close by.

I went for my consultation yesterday. The Feng clinic is really beautiful, nicer than I had imagined even. The staff were excellent and very nice to both me and my husband. Dr. Feng was wonderful, very steady and calm and thorough. I am SO pleased that I chose her to do the surgery.

The consultation and the competence of Dr. Feng and her staff were very reassuring, although I am still quite nervous. The initial surgery was so horrible that I can't help but be scared, although Dr. Feng seems pretty confident that do to the nerve block and the fact that the implants are coming out instead of in, I will not be in much pain. (Fingers crossed.)

She did not suggest a lift, and said that after she removes the implants, before she closes me back up, my breast will look pretty close to how they will end up after all this. She is going to take a picture so that I can see because she said my first look will be with the drains in and can be unnaturally unpleasant because of the suction. We are both hoping the asymmetry resolves after the implant is out.

So now I just wait, which seems pretty tortuous...

I'll update when I'm up to it after surgery.