Made my Consult Date! - Clarks Summit, PA

So the bad dreams I've been having came true. I had my consult today and the ps said that he won't do a tt on me because of my weight. He suggested finding my 'goal weight' and getting closer to it first. My true honest goal weight is around 170. I'm 190 now. He told me when I find my goal weight, and get to maybe around 150 and find that I'm happy there, then it's a better time to discuss it. That's 40 pounds! I just don'tthink I can lose that much. I'm so far beyond crushed. I've been trying since I had my first son 6 years ago to lose more weight but I can only get so far. In the past two months I've lost 10 pounds and plateaud. I've felt so great about those 10. I just want this damn pouch gone so I can see my crotch again! The way talked he felt that I was using this as some sort of weight loss procedure, I've done enough research and know what my expectations are. I'm not expecting weight loss, I just don't want to feel like a giant jello blob, instead I now feel worse. I'm really torn between do I just give up and deal with what I am, or do I use this to motivate me to lose even more. I cried my whole hours drive home. I wanted to stop and get a giant ice cream cone, but I didn't. I feel so lost right now. Been making lists if things I'll need, and I have a bed set upalready in an extra room downstairs with a stash of things on it, and now I feel like it's all been pointless. I guess since I've already started getting things I probably should push myself harder to at least get down 20 more pounds. I think I'm going to just let everything process for a few days.

I just woke up from one of the most horrible dreams I could have right now, at least in my opinion. In my dream I went for my consultation and after doing next to nothing, asking me next to nothing, and barely looking at me, this team of 3 drs decided they didn't want to do the tt, and didn't even discuss any other options or extras! And even though it made me very nervous in the dream, at least the one Dr was quite attractive and I had something positive in it lol. At this point I'm getting really nervous even about the consultation. I want to work on getting a list ready of things to get and keep handy afterwards so I can work on getting that stuff, but I'm afraid the Dr is going to turn me away and say I'm not a good candidate. I know I really want to do this, but in my mind it sometimes feels like I'm trying to find reasons to back out of it. I want to aim for right after Christmas to have it done because there's nothing going on at that point in the family schedule. Up until then we've had the kids birthday parties, we have 3 different parties this weekend plus Halloween, a wedding in December, and Christmas. Honestly, not knowing how recovery will be, I don't want to do it before Christmas and not get things . Consider it my brand new start to a brand new year. Any suggestions on how to get ready for a consultation? Anything specific I should do or bring? I know it's a bit early, but did you get your own compression garments, or did your ps office order them for you?

I took some before photos this morning. Don't mind the stickers on them. Because of me deciding not to tell anyone I wanted to cover some of my pretty distinguishable tattoos. Depending on price I'm considering Lipo on my thighs also. If I can't afford it I'm just going to really really work on them a few months down the road so they can look as good as my new belly hopefully will! As stated in a previous post I am going to ask about Lipo on that back fat I've always battled, and I don't think my love handles are atrocious, but would like those done also.