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Losing confidence...

Here are 2 of my 3 IV sites from two days ago...and man do they hurt. Site 2 was started below the 1st site the anesthesiologist blew in my forearm. Site 3 was done on the other side. Looks are deceiving tho...each site actually represents more than one needle stick. Ouch.

The thing that is making me nervous is this - is this the anesthesiologist's fault (who they say is one of the best & they've worked with for years) or does this represent a new problem in me (since I've always had good veins)? If this is some sort of new problem in me then should I be getting surgery on my face? If this is because their anesthesiologist just isn't very good, should I be concerned that they've stuck with him all these years (despite the fact that I'll have a different one now that I can't have surgery in their office suite)? Does this say something about their attention to detail & quality? Or is it more likely just an issue with me? Is this even a big deal? Or is it just nerves?

The anesthesiologist that day was very nice, took the blame, said I had good veins & couldn't understand how this happened or why and told me it never happens to him. So what happened? Can't decide if I'm crazy for going forward or if there is something I should do or expect from this PS's office to decrease my anxiety.

Post-op Day One - NOT!

So yesterday I showed up at my PS's office for the BIG DAY. Didn't sleep a wink the night before and have basically been an airhead for the past week because this has been all I can think about. Drove an hour to get there in rush hour, sent my husband home to await the call to return, and got into my gown. My IV was placed after 3 painful attempts (without gloves, because the anesthesiologist is old school and can't do it gloved). I asked if we had another person who could place it if he missed on the 3rd attempt, and he said no. Luckily he got it, but I swear I've never felt a more painful insertion technique. I signed my consents. I was given my pre-op meds, we started drawing on my face, and then we cancelled. Despite my telling them 3 times over that past 2 months that I have a history of SVT and am on a beta blocker for it, the anesthesiologist says he misunderstood and thought I had hypertension. So at the last second he calls some of his peers for advise, and then finally my cardiologist and my cardiologist's first question was if they can put me under general anesthesia if there is a problem (so they can cardiovert me if the epinephrine causes severe SVT). Since they couldn't in my surgeon's surgical suite they opted to cancel my surgery. I agree. But I'm not sure how I feel about it really. On the one hand it is good that they caught the error before surgery so I could reschedule in a facility that has more emergency services if needed. On the other hand, not sure how this happened. Not only did I tell them at my initial consultation, but I mentioned it on 2 separate phone calls since. So the good news is that I'm safe. The bad news is that I now have to get myself mentally prepared again and my recovery is more likely to run up against an appointment that I thought I'd be able to make. And I suppose that my confidence is a little rattled. And this may seem small...but I took 2 weeks of pre-op meds and have 2 weeks of Vitamedica left for post-op....but now my surgery is postponed a week. I started my acyclovir for the peel, and now I need to get more so I can restart it for the new date. I went low-salt the week before, need to do that again. I went NPO, did the hibiclens wash at home (yuk), and my poor husband did about 3 1/2 hours of driving that day. And I had 2 IV sticks, so many meds that I slept for nearly 24 hours, and now we're rescheduling and the new facility is making all the call and asking all the questions that should have been done before (including calls to my cardiologist). And they're trying to bill me for anesthesiology and facility charges, something I already paid to the PS. I'm sure they'll work it all out, but right now it is all so doggone confusing. I'd probably cancel, and maybe I should...but I actually really really like this surgeon. But I think there is a problem in his office somewhere. I started thinking that when I didn't get a pre-op visit actually. I had my consult 2 months ago, scheduled a week later by phone...and then about a month before I called to see when my pre-op visit was and was told they don't do them, I don't need one but if I had any questions I was are to call, etc. Got a little worried then. So I called a week before my surgery when I still had no written pre-op questions and told them I felt a little lost-in-the-cracks...so they gave me an appointment for the day before my surgery. At that appt, the day before yesterday, I told them about my SVT again, but still no alarms went off I guess. They did manage to ask for urine for a nicotine test tho. I wonder how they were going to do that if I hadn't insisted on seeing them before the surgery date? Ugh. So confused. Safe, but frustrated and scratching my head. lol

Well tomorrow is the day. I meant to do this last...

Well tomorrow is the day. I meant to do this last year at this time, but hit a little snag called uncertainty. I am 54, have a history of smoking (quit a year ago, had a relapse & quit again 5 1/2 weeks ago) but was actually somehow still looking younger than my age until I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism & Graves' Disease at 50. I had my thyroid removed a year later and my body apparently hates living on thyroid meds with all the subsequent ups and downs. I have aged 10 years or more in the last 3! My levels are mostly stable so last year I went for plastic surgery consults, did all my research and then chickened out. I'm still nervous, mostly because I tend to be the bad luck kid. But I really want to look in the mirror and see me again...not this Graves' patient.

Here's the plan: Lower & mid facelift that extends up to crows feet area of hairline and lower bleph with incisions just below lashes that extend a little past outer corner of eye (these 2 approaches are necessary because of how much structure has been lost below and around my eyes from thyroid issues, smoking & sun). I'm expecting quite a bit of swelling in the eye area. I'll also be getting a deep peri-oral peel for lip lines.

At this point I just need to get this ball rolling so I can quit second guessing myself!