I have never been happy with my breast size. Since...
I have never been happy with my breast size. Since I was a teenager, I remember praying I'd wake up to find them magically bigger. When I realized that was never going to happen, I began dreaming of one day getting breast implants. Finally it is going to be a reality!!!
I have two young girls, ages 8 and 5, and I am afraid my choice to enlarge my breasts will interfere with their own self-confidence as they go through their development. So, I am still struggling with how to talk to them about it, but trust the right time and words will come.
I am not sure what size I will be going for. Honestly I want big. I want like DD cup size. But at the same time, I don't want attention or gawking either. So, I hope to find a good balance that will allow me to play them up when wanted and down when needed.
Today has been a huge day on this journey. I have scheduled my consult/pre-op (May 11) and surgery date (June 16). Additionally, although I am keeping this mostly to myself, I decided to talk with a good friend and my sister. They both took it very well and are being supportive.
Here are a few of my "wish boobs" from this site.
I am obsessing over boobs! Please tell me I'm not the only one spending hours on this site reading through every review, picture, video...
I work from home and I'm barely getting any work done. My husband has got to be tired of me talking about it....I'm just thankful for this site so I have some sort of outlet.
Preparing 2 Months Out Suggestions?
Recovery time is constantly on my mind. I am really concerned about it. Some people are fine with just tylenol and continue their life as usual while others are laying up in bed in miserable pain. I know there are a lot of varying factors from the size of the implants, under or over etc.... but it made me wonder if there are exercises I should be doing to help the healing and recovery go smoother after my surgery in June. Any suggestions?
Worried About What Other People Think
Today has been a really rough day. I have only told a select few people of my plans to have a breast augmentation. My husband, my two best friends and my sister. When I told my sister I asked her to not tell our mom yet because I don't want to cause any un-needed worry. I also wasn't ready to talk to her about it just yet because I know I will be faced with negativity. My plan was to wait until closer to my surgery day before telling my mother so that she wouldn't have as long to sit and over-think or dwell over the million things that could go wrong.
My sister lasted maybe a week. She told me today that it slipped out while having an emotional break down and she told our mom.
Then to top it all off, my sister then proceeded to question me about the surgery with things like "I'm afraid what it will do to your marriage and your daughter's self-esteem" "have you considered a fat transfer instead?"....
I feel so betrayed. Somewhat embarrassed and completely disrespected.
One of my best friends is not taking it well either. She admits it is because she is jealous. She wants to do it as well but cannot because she has Lupus and her health is not at the right place for surgery. So I understand, but it sucks not being able to have her share my excitement with. We've been friends for 20 years, she's the one person I turn to for everything.
But I do have my other friend, who is actually my neighbor. She has been the most supportive (outside of my husband). I am so thankful for her.
I wish I didn't feel the need to make other people happy. I know it's something I need to let go of and just worry about myself but it's way easier said than done. This is not like me to make a decision to spend this kind of money and take the risks for myself. I don't do things for myself. And dammit, I'm tired of it! I refuse to let anyone else's negativity stop me from doing this.
Rice Sizers- 420-450cc
Made a bunch of rice sizers tonight. My PS suggests wearing two tight fitting sports bras to get a more accurate idea of the size. 450cc is the biggest one I put in before it became too much. Im excited for my consult in about 18 days so I can try on some silicone sizers and talk with the PS about the best options for me. But the rice sizers are fun and allowing me more time to really consider what I want on my body.
533cc???!!! Consultation/Preop Day!
Soooo, my doctor is recommending 533cc mod+ based on the sizers I chose in office! But I didnt know the cc number as I was trying them on. As soon as I heard my choice was 533 I freaked out inside. I know it seems ridiculous, but I had it in my mind I would probably go with something like 450HP and here I am now looking at 533M+.
On one had I trust the doctor that the size is not too big and I trust my eyes that it is what I want, but I am struggling with the number. I would like the final results to be around a DD cup. I've researched other people here on RealSelf who got 533 and a couple of them ended up with a final cup size of G! I wouldn't even know where to find bras....would clothes even fit me right? But they do look great and to me, do not look too big. But they are a little taller than me too.
Of course, my PS says it's up to me and I can choose smaller. I still have a few weeks before I have to decide for sure. I want big boobs but am I going too big? Why can't this be easier?
The sizers were not really any help at the doctors office. Having two tight-fitting sports bras on as the PS suggested gave me a uniboob, no matter the size. So it became very difficult to visualize what they would really look like.
I am of two minds. One part of me says to go for it, I know deep down I want big boobs. But the other part says I am going to look top-heavy, maybe even fat, with such big implants and them being mod plus.
But everyone says to go with the biggest size you like....
Sizers Picked - Told My Kids - Countdown Begins!
So after leaving my consult and feeling concerned about the size my PS felt would give me the results I was looking for, my husband and I went back last Friday so I could try sizers again. This time I wore better sports bras that had individual cups. I wish I had taken pics of my first time trying sizers. I had major uniboob. So it was very difficult to judge the appearance.
Regardless, I am still pretty close to the number we had the week before. We were at 533 and I decided after trying them on again that 533 was just the start of too big. 492cc M+ was where I felt comfortable.
I will share pics but keep in mind the sports bra did have a thin layer of padding and it didn't push them down enough to compensate the difference going under muscle will make. So, I expect my results to appear a little smaller. But even if not I will be okay.
Oh! And I also told my daughter's. They are 8 and almost 6. It didn't phase them. They were more excited that the day of surgery they will get to stay the night with the neighbors. But I have a feeling the hard part will be after surgery, when it becomes reality.
So, now I am counting down to June 16th! 17 days!! On June 2nd I start my supplements as it will be 2 weeks away!!
I am not nervous, as of now. Just really excited and ready!!!
I have boobies!!
Tuesday I had to give up my itty bitty titty membership card.
Today is day 3. I woke up to really tight and hard breasts but they softened through the day enough.
Day 1 was terrible. I was in a lot of pain and the painkillers were making me vomit. Day 2 was so much better! Day 3 is even better. I can't wait for them to look more natural though. They are sitting high and tight.
Ill post some pics.
1 Week Post Op!!
I am so thrilled with the progress so far!
My right breast is taking longer to soften but I believe it is because my BWD on that side was a half a centimeter smaller than the implant while the BWD on the other side was a half cm bigger than the implant. So, my hope is that by the time all the swelling goes away, they will even out.
I wont have my PO appointment until July 6 (three weeks PO) because my PS is on vacation.
I feel great so far! They get pretty hard in the evening and when I first wake up, which is uncomfortable but not really painful.
I am attaching a pic showing the day after surgery versus, 7 days PO. They are progressing so fast!
They're getting softer and looking more normal!
Just a quick update via pictures today! My right boob is still more swollen and uneven. But I still have belief it will even out. I read today that if one side has a stronger muscle than the other, it can take longer to heal...plus that side had a smaller breast width pre implants.
Pain, Pulling Lines and Squeaky Boob Toy -- 3 Week PO Today
I have so much to talk about this time. First, I want to go over some of the concerns I've had to google and what I learned about them, in case anyone else has the same worries.
I have had a sharp pain in one spot of my right boob, down at the crease, toward the bottom outer corner. This Question helped ease my mind http://www.realself.com/question/breast-implants-pain-right-breast and my PS told me to press down where the pain is, causing the pain to happen and hold down for several seconds. She says it will go away within a few weeks.
Next, pulling lines. Below my incision on my right boob, there are these pulling lines when I lift my arms. The image in this Question looks exactly like mine and again, it's nothing to worry about. Give it time. http://www.realself.com/question/vertical-lines-crease-and-pulling-after-breast-augmentation
Finally, Squeaking boob. I had the sloshing and squeaking the first week but the other day there was a different sound. It's like rubbing a water balloon, but I feel it deep down in my chest rubbing. It happens when I reach my arm across my chest (again on my right side only). Here is where Google took me on this one: http://www.realself.com/question/rubbing-squeaky-noises
There are several opinions on exactly what is happening inside, but I particular like Dr. Haeck's take on it as it matches up best to what I can feel and hear happening.
So, today I had my 3 weeks PO appointment. My PS seemed pretty impressed by her work and how quickly I am healing. I get to start my displacement exercises and hopefully get my right boob to catch up on the dropping and fluffing.
I can now wear underwired bras, submerge them in water (yay! Swimming!), enjoy them!! But I cant get on the treadmill until next week. Apparently it has to do with no wanting my heart rate to go up too high as there is still potential for bleeding.
So I left the doctor's office smiling and thrilled with how well things are going. I love my size, I love my body and I am excited to go buy a bra! A real bra with a wire!! So my husband takes me straight to Victoria's Secret. I ended up crying as I left Victorias Secret....I feel like a crazy unstable woman...but let me explain. I am sure I'm not the only one with these thoughts and feelings.
As I said, I love my size. I love how they seem big when I am naked but I can easily dress them down with most of my shirts. But yet for some reason the moment the Victoria Secret employee tells me I measure in at a 32DDD I panicked. I am only 3 weeks PO.....most people I have followed on here increase in size from now to the 3 month mark. Where the hell am I going to buy bras!? I was limited in my bra options at VS because of the size and none of the swimsuits will fit me right.
Suddenly I felt like a freak.... a freak who purposely distorted her body so far that they dont even sell bras to fit her gigantic boobs. But at the same time, I love my boobs and how big they are! This is why I say I am acting crazy...I have a war of the minds happening right now :)
Someone educate me, where do you buy bras if you go beyond a DDD cup?!! Especially with a 32/34 band size?
So, after laughing and crying at myself....there was a pet store in the mall!!!!! I love dogs and I especially love Boston Terrier dogs, my second favorite are French Bulldogs. Lucky me, there was a Frenchton (Boston Terrier mixed with a French Bulldog)!! I played with him for a bit and he gave me some great smelling puppy kisses. I felt much much better leaving the mall :)
So, end of the day- I love my boobs....Even if they are bigger than what may be proportionate to my body. I wanted big and I got it! I am very blessed!!