So I am 24 days closer to my PS and I am starting...
So I am 24 days closer to my PS and I am starting to feel anxious. I'm having some fears of what the outcome may be and if I am going to like it or not. My family and friends know about my surgery and all have said how excited they are to see me after and how beautiful I am going to look. For some reason I'm nervous that they all have this vision of me and it's not going to turn out the way I am invisioning. I am not doing this for anyone else but myself but I just don't understand why I'm having these feelings now? I've never wanted anything more than this in my life. I've saved and worked hard towards being healthy. I am finally there and all ready but now I'm scared. Anyone else have "cold feet"?
OK!!!! So my pictures are up! Yikes!!! The more I...
OK!!!! So my pictures are up! Yikes!!! The more I stare at them the more I say "ehhh" haha. It helps ease the anxious feeling I have for them. Although I know how much looking at other peoples photos have helped me I hope maybe mine could help someone else out too. I've always tried looking for other women whos body kinda matched mine but I haven't seen any out there :( So, I have 19 more days.. My pre op is scheduled for next Tuesday the 31st. Then we will be going over implant size, photos and pay my dues... I can't believe I'm forking over that much money but I tell myself all the time that I deserve it. It's been along time coming and its finally almost here :) I'm hoping some of this anxiety goes away. Maybe after my preop appointment some of it will subside. My PS has a way of calming my nerves. He's very informative about everything so lets hope so.
So today is the day for my preop appointment! I am...
So today is the day for my preop appointment! I am excited and nervous to see what size boobies will be right for me. I don't want to pick to big and I don't want to pick to small. I know my PS will help me with this but I've read so many people wish they would have went bigger. I'm bringing in my mom and sister to help me also. I would have brought in a couple of girlfriends too but I'm sure me bringing in the troops would be too many cooks in the kitchen haha! Ahhhh I am also getting my photos today which I'm not looking forward to but I am going to remember to put on some cute panties and that may help. I hope he doesnt make me wear that ugly blue paper thong thing. Uhhh why in the world??? Maybe it's because the before photo is "suppose" to look horrible so why not throw in an awful looking paper thong to match...I have no clue!! Oh and my purse will be a lot lighter today since I'm paying for the whole thing today... Buh bye money and hello hot mama :)
Ok so my PS MADE me put on that ugly blue...
Ok so my PS MADE me put on that ugly blue panty/thong thing for my before photos. I tried to convince him that my panties I had on were prettier but he said no. I tried! So, I was able to "try on" sizes. Moderate profile, Moderate profile Plus, and High profile. I told him I wanted to be a full C small D so he layed out some different sizes for me to play with. So first I went for the smallest one (moderate profile) to try and I put them in the bra that he gave me and they looked horrible. So I used the bra that I brought and it was a little better. They were too small. So I went right to the high profile ones and I loved them! I wanted to make sure that I tried them all though. So I went to the moderate profile Plus and loved them even more. My PS came back in and helped me with the rest. He told me that since my chest width was so wide that the moderate ones would be better for me, since they are wider. We went with the Moderate plus with a total of 400cc's. I absolutely loved how they looked and I can't wait for the real thing. He gave me a binder and we went over how it was going to go the day of the surgery and what things I needed to do before and after. He gave me all my perscriptions to fill so i would have them ready for that day. My appointment is at 7:30am and I have to be there at 6:30 to sign papers etc...I paid all of my money, singed some paperwork and that was it. I have mixed feeling still about it all but mostly excited about it. only 11 more days... the countdown is dwindling down :)
OK!!! I'm SCARED, I'm SCARED!!! Now it has all...
OK!!! I'm SCARED, I'm SCARED!!! Now it has all set in. Tomorrow is my big day and I don't know what to do with myself. I have everything packed (I am staying at my mom and dads so mama can take care of me)all my jewerly is out, cleaned the house and have my outfit layed out for to and from surgery (my new Juicy tracksuit, thanks to my sister who loves me lots) I keep thinking I am forgetting something but thats just my nerves getting to me. I have a ton of pillows for the car ride home. I heard this is something good to do since it might get bumpy at times. I am lucky though, I only have about a 15 min drive so it shouldn't be too bad. I've filled my prescriptions, one antibiotic and one pain killer. I'm going to try and relax tonight but so far it's not working. I'm thinking sleep is going to be a problem as well but the 5 1/2 hour nap tomorrow morning during surgery should make up for it huh? J/K Soon I will be getting in the shower for the last time looking at my saggy boobs and gosh awful tummy in the mirror that I've done for the past 11 years of my life. Talk to you soon girls!!!! Can't wait to be on the other side like most of you :)
POST OP - DAY 1
HOLY SHIT BALLS!!! That was the...
POST OP - DAY 1
HOLY SHIT BALLS!!! That was the first thing I said when I woke up at 5:00am. I prolly didn't fall asleep until 2:00am so 3 hours was more than I thought I'd get anyways. A couple times I thought to myself "do I really still want to do this?" I kept telling myself "this is what you've wanted for years, you can't back out now".
So after getting up and getting dressed I was picked up at 5:30am by my sister and I was on my way.
We arrived early and I was checked in right away, given my bands and taken back to the pre op room. This was also my room after surgery. The anesthesiologist came in and started my IV. It was nice because he gave me a shot of a local before he put it in. Thoes things hurt, but I didn't feel it at all.
My sister took pictures, made me laugh and kept me company. It helped a lot to keep my mind off of being anxious. I'm glad I had someone there to talk to.
Next, the doctor came in and did his drawings on my boobies and tummy. Then the nurse came in and gave me something to relax. Boy was that nice. It helped a lot with being so nervous.
From that point on I really don't remember anything else until I got back to my room. I was in surgery for 5 1/2 hours. I was in pain and asked for more pain meds, and then I remember being at my mom and dads house. I did so good. I was able to walk, go up and down stairs, get in and out of the recliner with minimal help. I was given a binder that has a bra type latch in my coocaa (vagina) area. Kinda like the old body suits that were cool in the late 80's. So since it was hard to reach, i have my mom clip it for me everytime I have to use the bathroom.
I took my vicodin every 4 hours which was needed. Sleeping is the hardest thing to do. Getting comfortable is not even an option. I wish I had one of thoes airplane pillows. I use 2 pillows behind me and one body pillow underneath my knees. Depending on the moment sometimes my boobs hurt more than my tummy tuck. The drains SUCK BIG TIME!!!
One thing that i would LOVE to share is to go out and buy a bathing suit cover up. Like the ones that look like a dress with no straps. It's so comfortable. All i have to do is hike it up to go potty and it's easy to hide the drains that are pinned to my body suit. I will post a picture of what it looks like. Seriously best thing to wear ever!!
So for the rest of the night I did not sleep too good. Kept taking my pain pills right on schedule. One time I had to take it an hour early because the pain was horrible. The next morning was a whole different story. The worst day EVER!
POST OP - DAY 2
Waking up this morning was HELL...
POST OP - DAY 2
Waking up this morning was HELL. I couldn't even move without wincing or tears coming out of my eyes. It was the worst pain I've EVER felt in my life. Worse than my C-section, worse than any type of pain I've ever had in my life. Stinging, burning and tightness is the best way to describe it mostly. It feels like a semi truck is laying on my chest and when I move it keeps running back and forth back and forth. My mom slept on the couch across from me in case I needed anything at night. I woke up at 6am needing to go to the bathroom but it hurt so bad that I was willing to wait just a little bit longer. I took my pain pill right then and there. It was an hour earlier than I was suppose to but I didn't care. Still lots of tightness and EXTREME pain. Finally I got out of the recliner at 7am. My mom helped me. Most of the time after i get up I have to catch my breath because it's hard to breathe. Not because of inflammation but because of how tight it feels. I got to the bathroom went potty and emptied my drains. Once I'm up and moving it feels better to stand than it is to sit/lay in the recliner. So, this morning was the worst so far. I called my doctor and told him about the pain. He gave me something stronger for the pain and it is helping a little better. So all day I've been in and out of sleep and trying to get up to get some circulation in my legs. My whole body is swallowen. Feet, calfs, thighs and tummy and chest. I am icing on and off all day too. Trying to do everything the doctor says to do. Oh I'm taking my antibiotic too.
My mom has been the BEST helping me with everything I need. I really don't know what I'd do with out her help. She knows how to make me feel better.
POST OP DAY 3&4
So today and yesterday were...
POST OP DAY 3&4
So today and yesterday were pretty much the same. I went to see my PS to have him remove the bandadges underneath my garments and to just make sure everything was coming along smoothly. This was the first time I was able to see my whole body naked. The boobswere great. I HATED my belly. Sooooo swollen, it looked nothing like I wanted it to be. My surgeon reassured me that this normal and it will take awhile for all the swelling to go down. He also said that I had a LOT of skin removed so the swelling will be more than others. My stretch marks are still there. It's ok since I knew that this wasn't going to take it all away. He took out my pain pump which was nice since it didn't feel like it was doing much anyway. Just something else I had to carry around.
Car rides are still a little hard. Only the big bumps make my insides hurt. Still wearing my swim suit coverups. I did put on capri stretchy pants with a tee shirt for the appointment but I looked like a whale in that outfit. The drains were underneath making my belly look like it had two huge ulcers or something. DUMB. Next week I will be getting the drains out. The color is starting to change to a clearer color. Not so muc pure red anymore. Hopefully by Tuesday they will be removed. I took a shower as well. It was tough to do with the drains and hunched over but I did a quick scrub down and was done. I didn't was my hair. I'm going to wait to do that. It still hurts to raise my arms up. I kept the Pain pump bag and used that to put my drains in while showering. It worked and helped alot. Otherwise I would have to hold them in one hand and wash with the other. While I was showering, my mom took the garments and washed them for me. Putting them back on felt so good. Having them off for about and hour was too much. I though my insides were going to bust open.
Today was eaiser, I was able to get up and go to the bathroom by myself and button up my onesize haha. It was nice not asking for any help. I've gone about 5 hours inbetween taking my pain pills. My inscisions hurt really bad still and I'm sore all over. So for me I can't wait to get back in bed and sleep. It's still too soon since even lying half way back, my chest is soo heavy it's hard to breathe.
Going to bed, everyday is getting better and that makes me smile :)
POST OP - DAYS 5-10
Ok so I have to post this...
POST OP - DAYS 5-10
Ok so I have to post this about having/not having a bowel movement. I think it's VERY important I tell you this so you learn from it.
Day 5 which was last sunday all day I kept saying to myself that I haven't gone #2 since last week. Now for me usually I go every 2-3 days going poop. So going a couple days dosen't really concern me. But when I hit day 5 I started getting worried. Post op i haven't really been eating much. Not hungry and always felt full. (prolly the binder and my stomach being numb)So thinking that I shouldn't really have to poop going 5 days shouldn't be bad. Well let me tell you by night 5 I had to go and me thinking it should be no prob BOY WAS I WRONG. Still having the drains in DID NOT HELP ONE BIT. Everytime using the bathroom it hurt sittin just because of the drains not including the inscision from the tummy tuck pain, this was hurtfull. So I'm sitting there thinking I have to go but nothing is coming out. "ok, so just push a lil" UH NO!!!!! This hurt more than the friggin drains. It felt like my insides were going to burst. Ok I can't push so now what do I do? So I sat there thinking it would just come out on it's own.. I did this for 4 hours straight (with some time inbetween walking around the bathroom) up and down on the pot. Towards the 4th hour I started to cry (first time since having the surgery) because it was now hurting down by my butt becasue of all the pressure from having to go. I did little pushes, splinted my self with a pillow, read some magazines, tried rocking back and forth, praying to the lord, and tried leaning all which ways... NOTHING :( Lets just say I was not winning at this at all. So I went to bed getting up every hour trying again and again. My mom even went and bought a suppository. Let me tell you pushing something up my butt when I am wanting something to come out of my butt was NOT fun. Don't do it!
So by morning still in total pain i kept trying. This time having taking Colace thinking it would just slide out. Well by afternoon I gave birth out of my ass. I ended up having to push really hard (which I know was not something I should of done) but I had this thought on my mind if I didn't do it i was going to end up with a bowel obstruction!!! YIKES!! I do not want that. So I ended up going. HORRIBLE feeling but after I felt so good. I couldn't believe how hard that was to do. So FYI USE COLACE even if you don't have to go. Make sure you poop with in the first coupe days.. cuz if not your in big trouble :(
I'm glad I got that off my chest for all you to know that havent had your surgery yet.
So other than that. I kept pluggin along with each day. Doing new things to see if i could. One day i went out to dinner with the family. I was beat by the end and that's all we did.
I am still having trouble sleeping. I want to sleep on my side or tummy so bad since this is the normal way for me to sleep. I try on my side but it hurts too much and the PS said to lay on your back as much as possible so your boobs set correctly.
So for my boobs... I am loving them all the time. I am trying to massage them but it still hurst a lot. Feels like i was used as a punching bag especially on the sides. I am still wearing my bra garment all the time even when I sleep. I go back and forth between the one my PS gave me and the regular sports bras i got. It seems to be working for me well. My inscisions are doing ok. My left breast is ooozing a little. I am now using gauze to get it to scab up. i was using bandaids and when I went to take them off the sticky part also took off the scab!! DUMB... so now I just have gauze in there no tape or anything near it.
My tummy is looking OK. Still swollen and incisions still seeping. Going to go to the PS next week to get another antibiotic. Looks infected along with my belly button. UGHHHHHHHHHH
Still taking Motrin here and there. If I know I am going to have a long day I take it. Shaving my legs is a pain in the booty too. still unable to bend. I tried it and just hurt so I will be Mrs. Harry and the Henderson until I can bend a little better. haha. Tomorrow I am going to go home. I've been at my mom and dads for 11 days now. Time to try on my own. I drove also for the first time today which wasn't as bad as i though it would be. Using the rearview mirrors a lot and side mirriors to back up.
I will post after photos soon. I can't find my camera cord to upload them from my camera. I think I left it at home :(