POSTED UNDER Eyelid Surgery Reviews
Botched 2 Procedures: Upper Eyelid Surgery and Direct Brow Lift
UPDATED FROM maryhopeski
11 months post
11 Months - I was Botched and can finally share without fear of repercussions
$5,599
I’ve been through a lot of turmoil over the past year due to a botched eyelid and brow lift surgery (same-day surgeries) and I am determined to find the right doctor this year no matter how defeated I feel after the experience I’ve been through since the operations. I had an upper blepharoplasty and a direct brow lift (not even necessary but recommended by that doctor) last December (2017). I chose an oculoplastic surgeon with 31 years of experience and thought I was in the best hands. I couldn’t have been more wrong. First of all, I have received so much feedback and information over the past year that I did not understand fully at consultation, mainly the direct brow lift and how horrible of an idea that is. The direct brow lift is not commonly done because of the permanent scarring caused right over the brows. I have heard this from several doctors and I continue to read that much older men with very wrinkled excess forehead skin and bushy eyebrows are the main candidates for this surgery. That makes sense. This is why other doctors have expressed shock that this surgery was even considered for me, a relatively young woman with a smooth forehead and very blond sparse eyebrows! Who does this to someone? I inquired several times about her recommendation for this surgery and she repeatedly told me there would no visible scarring. I even made clear that I will never get tattooed or fake brows because I like to be natural. If I choose to draw them on myself from time to time, that’s my choice, but I was very clear about my lifestyle and expectations. I followed all the “rules” of how to be a good patient and was very honest at the consultation. Both surgeries were botched in different ways and I have been very depressed and saddened by the terrible results after being promised beautiful results and believing in her so deeply. My doctor did not keep the promises she made to me which I will not specify here, but am willing to share privately if asked, because what happened is beyond what I feel comfortable sharing publicly. I can say that at our last visit in May, she made promises she did not keep, she made me feel that I expected too much by saying as much, and was completely unmoved by the emotional pain I discussed having been through. In other words, it was me who was wrong for feeling so disappointed and discouraged. The promises she made kept me from posting anything negative about my experience on here all these months. It is clear now that she never intended to stay true to her word, but just hoped I would go away. I stand by the fact that she refuses to take responsibility for or be accountable for the permanent damage she caused to my eyebrows and eyelids. I couldn’t believe I was being blamed when I did everything in my power to make the surgeries a success, from pre to post op care and scar treatments. I was always respectful and accommodating as well. My entire last year has been stressful, depressing, avoiding people, avoiding sunlight, and my self-esteem hit an all-time low due to my obvious scars and “operated on” appearance. The way I was treated with no compassion by the surgeon who did this to me did not help either. I am at a loss on where to start getting my eyelids revised and the terrible scars from the brow lift revised/improved. There are so many surgeons to sort through. I work long days and get very little time off, so it’s been difficult to find time to research, make decisions, set up consultations, etc. I have been hoping to find someone closer to home because I’m terrified about something going wrong the 2nd time around and not being nearby for any additional work that may be required. Obviously, I wish I had traveled wherever necessary for my original surgery because I’d be living my life and enjoying the results, not stressing about revision surgery and where to start. And all of this due to 2 botched routine surgeries which are performed very skillfully by surgeons all over the country every day. While I know it will be expensive to get this revised (missed work, travel time, and expenses, etc.), it’s time to get this done and move on in my life. I’ve been through so much already. I will need to be very careful. I thought I was the first time. The first pictures attached are before surgery, showing that I had nice healthy eyelids that were perfect for this surgery. The pictures following will show the brow scars (left eye brow much more prominent than the right) and 2 crudely incised bumpy (scarred) eyelids (left lid with excess skin on the outer corner leaving odd-looking skin folds not there before surgery AND puckered, pinched skin). Also, my left outer eyelashes are now pointing downward right on top of the lower lashes. (Have fun putting mascara on that!) I’m angry from all the time I’ve invested in so many ways, money, isolation, pain, lies, and dreams I’ve had to set aside over the last year. No more keeping this to myself.
maryhopeski's provider
UPDATED FROM maryhopeski
2 months post
2 1/2 Month Update - with moderate eye makeup
Hello everyone. I posted quite often during the first 2 weeks post op and at one month. Most of the healing for me up to this point really took place in the first month to a month and a half. I think when you have eyelid/direct brow lift surgery, you get a pretty good idea of how the final results will most likely appear within 2 months after surgery. At least, I feel that way in my particular case. Up until this post, I had taken all of my pictures with no makeup to be as natural as possible.
I decided to take some pictures with eyeliner, mascara, and some eyeshadow this time. If anything, the eye shadow actually accentuates the incision lines and “imperfections” that exist, rather than cover them up as you might have suspected. I did not cover up my brow incision line with much makeup. It is hard to cover up the redness of the incision line and the indentation at this point in my healing process.
I work in the tax field and have been tremendously busy and overwhelmed, so I apologize for not posting at a month and a half and again at 2 months, which was my plan. I hope this update helps. :-)
I decided to take some pictures with eyeliner, mascara, and some eyeshadow this time. If anything, the eye shadow actually accentuates the incision lines and “imperfections” that exist, rather than cover them up as you might have suspected. I did not cover up my brow incision line with much makeup. It is hard to cover up the redness of the incision line and the indentation at this point in my healing process.
I work in the tax field and have been tremendously busy and overwhelmed, so I apologize for not posting at a month and a half and again at 2 months, which was my plan. I hope this update helps. :-)
Replies (5)
February 16, 2018
Hi Mary. You are looking like a Cover Girl now! You are quite the “eye opener”! lol. But, in all honesty, I agree that the eye shadow accentuates the imperfections on your lids. I also noticed the corner of your left (?) eye that exhibits “crinkles “. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a DEFINITE major difference!!! You look outstanding. But, you didn’t bring these problems to the doc, they came after the surgery. You must address this to your ps, with your heartfelt concerns. I’m sure she would want your happiness more than anything with the results!!! Stand up for yourself, my loveliest girlfriend. Love and abundance of hugs. Wishing you luck. You’re a warrior.
February 17, 2018
Thank you, Randi. So, you can see the uneven (crinkly) skin as well? The left eyelid especially. I think it’s better I posted these pics with the makeup on this time because my previous pictures hid most of these imperfections because I’m using a cell phone camera and while they look “pretty” clear, you still can’t see enough detail. We have another follow-up as you know and I will definitely discuss these issues. I’m worried.
February 17, 2018
Why don’t you try matte eyeshadow instead. It may hide any imperfections and not be so noticeable to others. Honestly, no one can see anything but your beautiful pretty shaped eyes. You see it through a more critical eye! lol. Bring it up to your ps, and in a couple of months from now it will all be resolved.
February 24, 2018
You never told us one very important factor to most of us...how much did this cost?!
February 24, 2018
Hi. This message came to my email! lol You may want to send it again to her directly. Have a great weekend.
February 25, 2018
That’s odd. I was also never asked about the cost, but it’s right in my “title” for this review and the basic information area for that reason. Lol
February 25, 2018
Hello PM,
I’d be glad to answer that. No one has asked because the information is the main subject line in this review. When a RS member creates a story (review) on here, that information is asked and can be added, if desired, to the very beginning of the review. It is part of this post along with the name of my oculoplastic surgeon. It was $5,600 total (brow and upper eyelid). The eyelid (Blepharoplasty) without the brow lift wouldn’t be $3,200. I hope this helps. :-)
I’d be glad to answer that. No one has asked because the information is the main subject line in this review. When a RS member creates a story (review) on here, that information is asked and can be added, if desired, to the very beginning of the review. It is part of this post along with the name of my oculoplastic surgeon. It was $5,600 total (brow and upper eyelid). The eyelid (Blepharoplasty) without the brow lift wouldn’t be $3,200. I hope this helps. :-)
February 25, 2018
Hi. No big deal!:-). Just so you know... most profiles have the price on the front page under the picture. It took me awhile, too, to learn how to navigate through this app Have fun.
February 25, 2018
PM...Oh, no problem at all. I’m sorry if I came across as if I was saying you should know. To be honest, I’m not sure what RealSelf members first see when they get to my post or how prominent the area showing the cost is. Most people who post do choose to share the price they paid, but I’ve seen plenty of people who don’t. That always bothered me when I was researching my options (which took me about a year and a half to finally decide to go ahead with the surgery). Feel free to ask me anything about my experience, pre and post surgery.
February 17, 2018
Hi Mary, I had eyelid surgery and found that if I wore a matte eyeshadow instead of a pearl or iridescent my scars did much better and did not show. I'm a year and a half out and still wear matte. Your eyes are beautiful!!!
February 17, 2018
Also, I wore a darker matte in the crease, it covers a multitude of imperfections!!!
February 17, 2018
Thank you so much. I’m still healing and need to stay patient. I wish they didn’t look operated on, but I know healing will take some time. I do love some of the iridescent shades, but they did me no favors the other day and I haven’t been wearing eyeshadow since before surgery (one other time I did), so I’m finding out now that it’s actually pronouncing the uneven skin and incisions, especially this close from surgery. It seems like it’s been forever, but it’s only 2 1/2 months.
Are you really finding that you still need the matte eyeshadow a year and half later or is that just your preference for eyeshadow? I’m curious because going into this surgery, I was told by others who have had the surgery, doctors on here (RS), and my surgeon that the eyelid scars will heal and should eventually be pretty “normal” looking (as long as the surgery was performed properly and the patient heals well).
I have a lot of iridescent too. I like the “pearl” pigment. When I had the excess skin, it seemed to be fine as long as it wasn’t super sparkly. Thanks for the advice though. I’ll need to get a couple of eyeshadow pallets with attractive neutral shades. I don’t wear a lot of makeup. Those pictures I actually consider to be heavy makeup for me. Lol.
Are you really finding that you still need the matte eyeshadow a year and half later or is that just your preference for eyeshadow? I’m curious because going into this surgery, I was told by others who have had the surgery, doctors on here (RS), and my surgeon that the eyelid scars will heal and should eventually be pretty “normal” looking (as long as the surgery was performed properly and the patient heals well).
I have a lot of iridescent too. I like the “pearl” pigment. When I had the excess skin, it seemed to be fine as long as it wasn’t super sparkly. Thanks for the advice though. I’ll need to get a couple of eyeshadow pallets with attractive neutral shades. I don’t wear a lot of makeup. Those pictures I actually consider to be heavy makeup for me. Lol.
February 17, 2018
I did go for a darker shade in the crease, but I guess the problem was that it was shimmery/iridescent. Matte it is then! :-)
February 18, 2018
I just got so use to the matte in the crease because my healing did not go as planned and took so long to look natural.
February 18, 2018
So, your eyelids have pretty much completely healed? I had hoped after 6 months, I would have “no scars” or very few, but as it appears to be going now, I see some possibility of permanent problems, which makes me sad. I know it’s still early and I definitely take that into account, and I know more healing will take place, but I can see a few areas that I just really don’t see healing 100% or even 80% after another year.
February 20, 2018
My left lid did not heal as planned, the PS did not remove enough though he said it would resolve in a year, not true so it was revised hence the long healing process. 3 weeks out now but will wait at least 6 months to make a judgement. Love the matte, it pretty much hides it all.
February 22, 2018
Oh, okay. Unfortunately, I too see a revision in my future as I know not enough skin was removed and it’s not going to resolve itself. I didn’t intend to have this “one-time” big moment have to be redone. It’s been almost bringing me to tears lately. None of us do expect that. I put so much effort into research and pre and post-op care that it seems unfair. Life ain’t fair as they say. I have been thinking about what a 2nd surgery would mean in terms of healing because it’s like the 2nd scar has to heal over or in conjunction with the 1st surgical scar. It seems like that would have to take longer. And, now you’ve pretty much confirmed that. Thank you for sharing some of your experience with me. Any information about revisional surgery is helpful now that I am coming to terms that it is almost certainly going to happen.
I actually used eye makeup again because I had a special event out of town yesterday. I used the matte shadow (for the most part). It seemed like from my existing collection, the matte even had just a small amount of shimmer, but not much. It looked a lot better. The shadow I put on my incision areas was matte but I had a little shimmer on the lightest color that I put right underneath my brow area. It looked decent and covered the scars better this time. :-)
I actually used eye makeup again because I had a special event out of town yesterday. I used the matte shadow (for the most part). It seemed like from my existing collection, the matte even had just a small amount of shimmer, but not much. It looked a lot better. The shadow I put on my incision areas was matte but I had a little shimmer on the lightest color that I put right underneath my brow area. It looked decent and covered the scars better this time. :-)
February 23, 2018
Hi Mary, the revision surgery was a breeze, even had dissolvable sutures this time, in a week they fell out, no need to have them removed. It took him about 20 minutes and I wish I hadn't waited so long. I will also like to tell you that it is good that he did take as much this time as he should have original because the surgery on the other eye is already over a year old and I wanted them to match. It's not exactly perfect light my right eye but sometimes good is perfect enough. I just keep wearing matte. that's okay. It could be worse than not taking enough, he could have taken too much, a more difficult situation to fix so I'm grateful that it's close enough to perfect for me. Enjoy the gift of today :)
February 25, 2018
Even though you had to go through a 2nd surgery with the left eye (which is the eye I’m concerned about as well), it sounds like you have 2 pretty even eyes and are pleased. I don’t expect perfection either and would be happy to have them just close in appearance, and with reasonably taut skin. I do worry about the healing. So, you had the same surgeon perform the orginal and the revision? I hope he offered to resolve the issue at no additional cost for you. You mentioned that you wish you had done the revision sooner but don’t you have to wait until at least 6 months after the 1st surgery before reopening the same area? I’m not sure but have heard no reputable doctor would consider a revision until about 6 months after the initial surgery. I plan to move as rapidly as is considered safe. I still have another follow up visit to really address the issues and find out what her opinion is and what she recommends. My doctor has a lot of experience and great reviews. I trust her. I agree and I know she is cautious about removing too much skin as that can most definitely cause much greater problems. If the left eye skin wasn’t still folding over, I would let it go, but I just cannot accept that much excess skin after putting my so much energy, and hopes and dreams of getting rid that skin into this surgery. I’m really happy that you have results you feel pretty good about. I don’t want to say too much in a public forum but I am not totally happy with either eye. The left eyelid skin is just much looser than the right eyelid, so that is my focal point.
February 25, 2018
I had the dissolvable sutures as well and I’m glad. Only on the very inner and outer corners of the lids were permanent stitches places, for extra measure and to keep the incision closed “just in case.”
February 26, 2018
I had the revision surgery done 15 months after the original, the PS said just wait, it will get better but it didn't. One year was October 2017 and then the holidays came and I didn't want to go thru it then so I waited until January 30th 2018. Yes, the same surgeon did the revision and didn't charge. I am very pleased so far, glad I had it done rather than not, you will too!!!!! :)
March 1, 2018
I’m really happy for you that in the end, things worked out for the best. I haven’t given up on my doctor. Sometimes these things just happen and I guess at this point, I am looking at it like something that needs an adjustment to achieve a successful result. I overheard something on tv earlier about rhinoplasties being a surgery that if not done right the first time, the scar tissue and many other issues are so hard to fix in a revision after the fact. I’m hopeful, after getting your feedback, that eyelid surgery is not one of those surgeries that is a one shot deal and if something goes wrong, you’re in serious trouble for life. Obviously, it’s ideal to only go through this once, but I’d rather be happy with the outcome than second guess myself and all the research and care I put into this surgery to achieve the best outcome possible. Like you, I don’t expect perfection. But I do have some expectations which I think are quite reasonable. I know you meantioned you would have done the revision sooner, but do you think waiting made the healing take longer, less time than expected, or it didn’t really make a difference?
The scar tissue developing after the first surgery and then again after the second concerns me, but I don’t have all of the facts yet. I have another follow up visit with my surgeon in about a week.
The scar tissue developing after the first surgery and then again after the second concerns me, but I don’t have all of the facts yet. I have another follow up visit with my surgeon in about a week.
March 1, 2018
I don't think waiting so long to get the second surgery made any difference in healing, I just wish I would have done it sooner so I looked better sooner :) As far as scar tissue my PS removed the original scars by taking out more skin so I only have one scar and I do believe it healed much better than the first one, almost just like the right eye now! My Derm told me that almost all the eyes she sees after surgery are not exactly the same, she said it seems to be the left eye, I wonder if that means they are right handed and it's more difficult to do the left eye?
March 3, 2018
WOW! Thank you so much for explaining that. All I could imagine was scar tissue upon scar tissue, causing a lot of lumpiness, thickness, and just a very odd-looking outcome. You’ve been so very helpful and I feel much better about having a revision now, if indeed one is in order (which I am pretty certain it is). I see my surgeon next week for another follow-up on my progress and we will definitely talk more about the outcome and the future.
Up until now, everything was still in the very early healing stages so I was told to be patient and let’s wait to see how things look with some more time. I didn’t want to panic so I have just continued to take good care of the incision areas and am keeping track of any changes. At this point, things are pretty settled and not changing too much. The scarring above my eyebrows should continue to improve over time I hope, but I’m pretty clear about the eyelids not improving much. I didn’t realize most people who have any problem with their surgery have an issue with the left eye. You’re probably right that it has to do something with being right handed. I’m very happy that your left eyelid revision had turned out so well. I will definitely keep you posted and post updates on here about what the decision ends up being. I really can’t and shouldn’t say much more about what is to come without talking to my Doctor first. I’d just be presuming things without all of the information. Take care and thanks again. Very positive information!!! :-)
Up until now, everything was still in the very early healing stages so I was told to be patient and let’s wait to see how things look with some more time. I didn’t want to panic so I have just continued to take good care of the incision areas and am keeping track of any changes. At this point, things are pretty settled and not changing too much. The scarring above my eyebrows should continue to improve over time I hope, but I’m pretty clear about the eyelids not improving much. I didn’t realize most people who have any problem with their surgery have an issue with the left eye. You’re probably right that it has to do something with being right handed. I’m very happy that your left eyelid revision had turned out so well. I will definitely keep you posted and post updates on here about what the decision ends up being. I really can’t and shouldn’t say much more about what is to come without talking to my Doctor first. I’d just be presuming things without all of the information. Take care and thanks again. Very positive information!!! :-)
March 5, 2018
You're welcome Mary, I know things will work out for you too!!!! You'll be so happy once you have it done again, like me, even if not perfect it is so much better. Take care and keep us posted on your decision :)
March 8, 2018
Thank you, Diamond. I definitely will continue to post occasional picture updates showing the way it appears as it continues to heal (more slowly now) and if anything changes or major decisions are made/procedures done to improve the situation, I will include that info as well. :-)
February 18, 2018
I plan to use matte for now. I don’t like extremely shiny eyeshadow anyway, but some shimmery undertones would be attractive under different circumstances. I have been feeling really down about this lately, but I will have to keep being patient. I will have more information about everything that’s concerning to me as time progresses.
February 18, 2018
Mary, don’t let this get you down. Please keep positive. You know it’s nothing life threatening, and your health is not compromised. It will all be resolved very soon, either by your trusty ps, or just nature, taking it’s course!!! Be happy in your skin, you really are so beautiful, and honestly, no one sees these slightest imperfections like you do!!!!!!
February 22, 2018
Hi sweetie! I went to a basketball game in Charlottesville last night/yesterday but we left early and went to dinner at a popular fan spot first. I used matte eyeshadow this time and covered everything that looked like I had surgery. My friend, who had not seen me in a year, didn’t notice anything strange. He doesn’t know about the surgery. He just said you look younger than last time I saw you (and hotter)! Lol. That meant a lot. Of course he wasn’t staring at my eyelids and comparing them or the loose skin on the left lid.
I’m coming to accept that it is what it is and I can’t change it now. Last weekend, I bought some skin tightening cream with natural oils in it. I’ve been trying to tighten the skin through various safe methods, but it’s not happening. So, I’ll just keep my head up, like you said, and things will get better in the future regardless of what I may have to go through to get the results I had hoped for.
I’m coming to accept that it is what it is and I can’t change it now. Last weekend, I bought some skin tightening cream with natural oils in it. I’ve been trying to tighten the skin through various safe methods, but it’s not happening. So, I’ll just keep my head up, like you said, and things will get better in the future regardless of what I may have to go through to get the results I had hoped for.
February 22, 2018
Hi Mary!! Glad to hear that you’re out and about and not chained to your job. Sounds like you’re really an avid sports fan. So, your friend passed you a wonderful compliment, and used the best verbiage.... you look younger!!! That’s what every woman dreams of!!! The quest to look younger. And, coming from a male!!!! I hope that your skin tightening creams will bring you some comfort. Did you schedule another appointment with your ps? Are you researching your options? Just keep positive and don’t think about it. Has any of your coworkers said anything to you?? I’m 3 weeks post op and I’m on point with my healing. I still have home care. I see my surgeon next week, and I’m hoping he gives me the green light for driving. I’m getting cabin fever. I hate relying on friends and hubby for groceries or meds. I feel like my wings are clipped. I’ve been using light free weights to keep some degree of my workout ethics. Any plans for the weekend? Have you been running? How’s your dad and brother doing? Do you spend time with them? My daughter slept over the other night and we managed to have fun despite being in lock down. lol. Have a splendid weekend my dear friend. Warm hugs
February 23, 2018
Yeah Mary.... it’s Friday!! Hope you enjoy your weekend my friend! Go out and run, run, and run, with those pretty HUGE eyes! lol. You probably can see the road that you’re pounding on better with those New renewed eyes. lol. love ya warm hugs.
February 25, 2018
A lot of questions I see. Lol. I did finally use a day off for what a day off should be...to actually do something “fun’ for the first time in months, but I wouldn’t say I am not chained to my job still. I was tired the whole day off (from two late nights at work leading up to Wednesday) and had to work the next day (Thursday). I started getting sick actually, but I am doing my best to stave it off. I haven’t seen my dad, brother, done anything else, etc. other than work. I was simply happy that for once, I went somewhere instead of running errands, doing chores, and catching up with basic responsibilities on my day off. I did run one time but I was sick. I had no other chance to run this week so I went anyway and felt awful getting through the run.
I guess my point was that it was nice to take “A STEP” forward by doing something different and even though I was tired and felt sick, I felt good about my appearance for the first time in awhile, even if I did wear more makeup than I have in months and felt worn out. Lol.
I’m very happy you are steadily getting stronger and recovering from your surgery so well. I haven’t been in touch sooner because of more work and the day off taking the whole day and night. I’ve been thinking about you though. I’m just getting to my emails from the last 3 days. I hope the weather is nice in Chicago. It’s beautiful here but I’ve been inside most of the day. I’m going to try to get to my dads tomorrow for a couple of hours. Weekends are too short! You seem to be doing well and in good spirits. I know you are feeling couped up, but it won’t be much longer. I hope your visit with the surgeon goes well and you are cleared to drive. My appointment with my os was made when left the last time. It’s actually coming up in just 2 weeks and I didn’t realize how soon it was until I just looked at my calendar right now. I sort of feel like I know how things are going to go on each visit, since the beginning of this process. I’ve missed talking to ya. This week is kind of a blur. I never really stopped moving. Much love, Mary
I guess my point was that it was nice to take “A STEP” forward by doing something different and even though I was tired and felt sick, I felt good about my appearance for the first time in awhile, even if I did wear more makeup than I have in months and felt worn out. Lol.
I’m very happy you are steadily getting stronger and recovering from your surgery so well. I haven’t been in touch sooner because of more work and the day off taking the whole day and night. I’ve been thinking about you though. I’m just getting to my emails from the last 3 days. I hope the weather is nice in Chicago. It’s beautiful here but I’ve been inside most of the day. I’m going to try to get to my dads tomorrow for a couple of hours. Weekends are too short! You seem to be doing well and in good spirits. I know you are feeling couped up, but it won’t be much longer. I hope your visit with the surgeon goes well and you are cleared to drive. My appointment with my os was made when left the last time. It’s actually coming up in just 2 weeks and I didn’t realize how soon it was until I just looked at my calendar right now. I sort of feel like I know how things are going to go on each visit, since the beginning of this process. I’ve missed talking to ya. This week is kind of a blur. I never really stopped moving. Much love, Mary
February 25, 2018
Lol. I won’t have time this weekend unfortunately, but I hope I can at least get outside, even if it’s to wash the “stuff” a bird droppped all over it at work on Monday!!! Or, maybe my dad and I can go for a walk if I can get to see him tomorrow. I hope. Love you too and hugs galore!
February 25, 2018
Ha ha! Lots of questions.... my sister calls me Barbara Walters! I ask lots of questions! I guess it’s my persona, getting ahead of myself!!! It’s the feistiness in me!!! So, what actually was your “fun” for the first time in months?? You probably have a weakened immune system with your work ethics. You put it ALL into your job,like no other!! There’s so much flu going around, take it easy girlfriend. I remember running, like you, feeling awful, but plowed through it like a driving force. It’s that mentality of giving it all... or go home!! It was nice hearing that you felt your confidence sky rocketing with your metamorphosis! You deserve it, you look beautiful, and certainly so REFRESHED looking. I’m curious to hear what your ps has to say about your ongoing issues. You sound much better now, glad that you found some great eyeshadow! I have not put a stitch of makeup on for 3 weeks! Why bother, I’m in my women’s cave! I’m getting a little loopy now, only 6 days until I see my surgeon. I’m using light weights for upper body. It’s just not “cutting it”! I’m missing that cardio rush. I’m praying that he will let me drive, locally. I seriously am in need of a day of beauty!!! It will help my depression too! I’m not one for shopping on line, but have resorted to it now! It’s that retail therapy that gives me a “spark “! I love the thrill of a good sale! It’s the simple pleasures of life! :-). My hubby had a meeting today, the entire day! :-(. I’m sitting here with all my arsenal..... books, magazines, Sunday Paper, and my IPad. It’s these moments that I miss my mom and dad. They’d both would be here with me, keeping me company. My mom was an awesome cook, and would stock my freezer up with all her specialties before she would fly back to NY! She was quite the woman! She had so many talents, none of which I inherited! lol. My dad, was a brilliant kind man!!! He seriously didn’t have a mean bone in his body, and NEVER said one bad thing about anyone! Spend time with your daddy, bc you will miss him tremendously when he’s gone!! My sister and twin bro both live in NY and are busy with their own lives. My sister texts me daily, wanting to know my health updates! She’s a good sister...long distance! lol. You can see her on my FB page. She’s quite the NYer! A fashionista! Got to love her for her sense of style! Anyways, relax, and enjoy your week at work. Take a couple of deep breaths every hour! It helps! I just hope things do get easier for you at work. It really sounds like it is consuming your entire sweet beautiful life. That’s not what anyone deserves!!! Especially, you!!! Sending you WARM SMOOSHY HUGS.
February 25, 2018
Haha. Barbara Walters! Thats a trip. The questions were fine. At the time I read your message though, my mind was all over the place thinking about all the things I needed to get done and other random ‘stuff’ so my focus wasn’t the best, so as I read through the message and saw you moving from topic to topic and asking lots of questions along the way, I thought to myself “I hope I can remember to answer for all these questions!” Lol. I’m the same way. I tend to jump from subject to subject while having random thoughts and questions for the other person throughout the conversation. I can start at Point A and go to Point G, then to Point X, back to Point A for a second, then to Point Z finally!!! You just have a very active mind, which is great.
I feel so bad that you are not able to do all the things you want to. I know that must be driving you up a wall. It’s easy for me to say be patient, but it’s true. You may feel held back right now, but you seem to be healing at such a rapid pace, that in the grand scheme of life, this downtime is actually a very short time and it’s important for you to take it easy (enough to make sure you don’t impede your recovery). I love that you are doing the exercises you can do rather than deciding to do nothing because you could feel like “why bother.” What you are doing is keeping yourself in shape, even though it’s not the kind of shape you expect for yourself. You’ll be glad you didn’t neglect you arms this whole time when you really get back in the gym. Yay!!! Yeah, that run was brutal. Only ran 5 miles compared to my usual 7 or 8 but it was the toughest run I’ve done in awhile because I just wasn’t feeling the energy. I was worn down and tired. Sometimes that’s how it is and you just have to dredge through that sh#*, ya know? Lol.
By having “fun” (as I had put in quotes) for the first time in months, I meant that on a day off, I never use it to actually enjoy the day. I feel like I am simply playing catch-up all day just to get things done before going back to work the next day. I was surprised and happy (even though I was tired) that I stepped out of my boring routine and did something fun on a day when I am normally just focused on chores. My job has worn on me over the past few years and it’s almost like you forget that you CAN do something different. I’ve become way too routine-oriented and lost most of my spontaneity. My goal is to loosen up and not take myself so seriously. Being in a constant routine is boring and takes all the fun out of life. Aside from needing to find a new job altogether, there are still some decisions I can make along the way while I still have this job that could bring more happiness into my life. I know I’m not unique for becoming completely predictable due to a job that drives you to become that way over time, but it doesn’t have to be that way and I need to keep reminding myself of that.
Your parents sound like wonderful people. You father sounds like my mother (so kind, caring, and nonjudgmental). My dad is more like your mother (a man of many talents who is also brilliant). I didn’t physically see my dad this weekend. I almost drove over to his house today but it would have been at 4pm and would have caused more stress tonight trying to get myself ready for the workweek, so we FaceTimed for awhile, which was really nice. Had he been counting on me coming over, I would have definitely gone, but he seemed busy doing his own thing at home. I know it’s important to see family in person obviously but we would have just been sitting in his house chatting, which is fine. I think he and I need to make plans for a nice walk or hike one of these weekends and make plans ahead of time. Those are the kinds of activities that bring us together...enjoying the outdoors. That’s so cool you have a twin brother. So, you have 2 siblings, both in NYC?! Even though you may not see them as often as you’d like, it sounds like you’re very close and that’s awesome. I love my brother so much and we talk on the phone or message/email sometimes, but he has his family and we are both doing our own things. I’d like to put more effort into our relationship too.
Anyway, it’s been a more relaxing weekend than usual, but in my mind I’m always thinking about “all this stuff I have to do and when am I going to have the time, blah, blah...” I stress myself out more than anything and then get down on myself for not accomplishing enough. So, I’m just thinking about these patterns I’ve gotten myself into that cause anxiety and depression and I need to start working on changing my way of thinking and overall attitude. You sound like you’re doing really well, Randi, and I’m pulling for you over here in Virginia. Your message was very lively and I can tell you are feeling better, knowing that you have already gotten through the worst of this! Sending you lots of love!
I feel so bad that you are not able to do all the things you want to. I know that must be driving you up a wall. It’s easy for me to say be patient, but it’s true. You may feel held back right now, but you seem to be healing at such a rapid pace, that in the grand scheme of life, this downtime is actually a very short time and it’s important for you to take it easy (enough to make sure you don’t impede your recovery). I love that you are doing the exercises you can do rather than deciding to do nothing because you could feel like “why bother.” What you are doing is keeping yourself in shape, even though it’s not the kind of shape you expect for yourself. You’ll be glad you didn’t neglect you arms this whole time when you really get back in the gym. Yay!!! Yeah, that run was brutal. Only ran 5 miles compared to my usual 7 or 8 but it was the toughest run I’ve done in awhile because I just wasn’t feeling the energy. I was worn down and tired. Sometimes that’s how it is and you just have to dredge through that sh#*, ya know? Lol.
By having “fun” (as I had put in quotes) for the first time in months, I meant that on a day off, I never use it to actually enjoy the day. I feel like I am simply playing catch-up all day just to get things done before going back to work the next day. I was surprised and happy (even though I was tired) that I stepped out of my boring routine and did something fun on a day when I am normally just focused on chores. My job has worn on me over the past few years and it’s almost like you forget that you CAN do something different. I’ve become way too routine-oriented and lost most of my spontaneity. My goal is to loosen up and not take myself so seriously. Being in a constant routine is boring and takes all the fun out of life. Aside from needing to find a new job altogether, there are still some decisions I can make along the way while I still have this job that could bring more happiness into my life. I know I’m not unique for becoming completely predictable due to a job that drives you to become that way over time, but it doesn’t have to be that way and I need to keep reminding myself of that.
Your parents sound like wonderful people. You father sounds like my mother (so kind, caring, and nonjudgmental). My dad is more like your mother (a man of many talents who is also brilliant). I didn’t physically see my dad this weekend. I almost drove over to his house today but it would have been at 4pm and would have caused more stress tonight trying to get myself ready for the workweek, so we FaceTimed for awhile, which was really nice. Had he been counting on me coming over, I would have definitely gone, but he seemed busy doing his own thing at home. I know it’s important to see family in person obviously but we would have just been sitting in his house chatting, which is fine. I think he and I need to make plans for a nice walk or hike one of these weekends and make plans ahead of time. Those are the kinds of activities that bring us together...enjoying the outdoors. That’s so cool you have a twin brother. So, you have 2 siblings, both in NYC?! Even though you may not see them as often as you’d like, it sounds like you’re very close and that’s awesome. I love my brother so much and we talk on the phone or message/email sometimes, but he has his family and we are both doing our own things. I’d like to put more effort into our relationship too.
Anyway, it’s been a more relaxing weekend than usual, but in my mind I’m always thinking about “all this stuff I have to do and when am I going to have the time, blah, blah...” I stress myself out more than anything and then get down on myself for not accomplishing enough. So, I’m just thinking about these patterns I’ve gotten myself into that cause anxiety and depression and I need to start working on changing my way of thinking and overall attitude. You sound like you’re doing really well, Randi, and I’m pulling for you over here in Virginia. Your message was very lively and I can tell you are feeling better, knowing that you have already gotten through the worst of this! Sending you lots of love!
February 25, 2018
WHOOAAA!!! My reply was so long. I should have done a FB message. People coming on here for info in this surgery will know more about our lives than this Blepharoplasty and brow lift. Lmao
March 1, 2018
Ha ha. Just saw your message! For whatever reason, I did not get a “new message “ warning!? Anyways I’m glad I came across your novel. LOL. Like, did it take a day to compose this novel. lol. I was sitting here reading it, and thinking what an amazing lady... to take time out from your HECTIC life, and cheer me up with this chronology of your daily life. I SO LOVED IT! Just wish that your life was less stressful from your job. It’s not what a job should be causing you, at this level!! You’re too devoted to your job. You need to have an outlet, to separate yourself from your job. Running is awesome, but is just a temporary fix. Spontaneity is something I have to work on too. I’m a huge “planner “ and very rarely do I deviate from my schedule. I also overthink and over worry about things, that really don’t require all the shenanigans! I have graduated from a walker to a cane today!!! Yeahhhhh. I am going to see my surgeon tomorrow, and I’m praying he will let me start driving. I am now finished with home PT and will probably start outpatient for a couple of weeks. It has been a month since my surgery, and I’m feeling soooo much stronger. I’m keeping a positive attitude, which is helping in my healing. I get very excited when I reach another level in my healing. I am looking forward to the weekend, it will be my first time out of the house since February 1!! Ahhhh.. fresh air! I posted a one year (and final) update on RS! Look me up, love to hear your comment. :-). There are so many things I’d love to do now that I’m a FREE WOMAN, but I must take it slowly. That word is not in my vocabulary. lol. I just hope that I didn’t loose too much muscle! I guess I should not think that way, I should appreciate the fact that I’m now healthy and able to walk... pain free. Amen!!! Love ya Mary. Hopefully this weekend you’ll get out for a long run, and visit with some of your friends. Cleanse yourself from all the bad karma from work. Go shopping, and buy new matte eye makeup. He he he. That’s my therapy! I just told my husband how much money we saved by me being incapacitated for a month. Lol. Have a nice hike with your dad. Those are special moments. Geez, I just realized that we are telling our life story here on RS!! Oh well, it’s nothing too private!! Warm hugs!
March 2, 2018
Hi there. I just read the above comment from Diamond. So she had a revision surgery for her eyes! Interesting that she mentioned that her length of time between both surgeries was not a factor!
March 3, 2018
Oh my gosh. I’m so bummed. I just typed out a nice reply that took several minutes and hit something on the screen, which took me off this page and it’s all gone now. Wahhhhh. You know when you wrote something from the heart and it was perfectly stated the way you wanted to, then it gets deleted, and you cannot even begin to retype it in the same way or even close??? That’s what just happened. :-(
I will say that I was and am completely amused and laughing still about the fact the you told your husband you did him a favor financially by being incapacitated all month! Lol. That’s awesome. I think it’s good for you too that you have not been shopping. Now, you’ll be so excited when you do. Just don’t go too crazy. I know you love finding your sales and good deals, like me. I love knowing that I bought something for 3-4X less than everyone else!!!
This weekend will feel short because I worked so late last night. I had to sleep in today and now I’m just running around doing chores before my basketball game starts in an hour. It’ll be evening by then. I need groceries for the week, so I might make a late night grocery run, so I can have some time tomorrow to run or see my dad and actually enjoy a full day! That is the goal. I’m so glad you are feeling better by the day. You are an amazing woman. A true fighter and in such great health. Love you.
I will say that I was and am completely amused and laughing still about the fact the you told your husband you did him a favor financially by being incapacitated all month! Lol. That’s awesome. I think it’s good for you too that you have not been shopping. Now, you’ll be so excited when you do. Just don’t go too crazy. I know you love finding your sales and good deals, like me. I love knowing that I bought something for 3-4X less than everyone else!!!
This weekend will feel short because I worked so late last night. I had to sleep in today and now I’m just running around doing chores before my basketball game starts in an hour. It’ll be evening by then. I need groceries for the week, so I might make a late night grocery run, so I can have some time tomorrow to run or see my dad and actually enjoy a full day! That is the goal. I’m so glad you are feeling better by the day. You are an amazing woman. A true fighter and in such great health. Love you.
March 3, 2018
Yeah, she was very helpful actually in answering my concerns about having a second surgery and wondering about having “double scarring” on the same lid. It makes sense that making an incision the second time around and removing the first scar line during that surgery would be ‘almost’ like a having a fresh surgery (in a way, not totally). But, at least there wouldn’t be massive amounts of scar tissue upon other scar tissue. I’ll talk to my ps about this next Friday.
That gives me a lot of hope. I am really pressing my luck to get to Starbucks and back before the game and still relax for 5 minutes now that it is 30 minutes before the game and I haven’t ordered my Frappuccino! I’m stressed out!!! Doesn’t take much, does it?!?! That’s one of my routines before a game. I like a frap! Lol
That gives me a lot of hope. I am really pressing my luck to get to Starbucks and back before the game and still relax for 5 minutes now that it is 30 minutes before the game and I haven’t ordered my Frappuccino! I’m stressed out!!! Doesn’t take much, does it?!?! That’s one of my routines before a game. I like a frap! Lol
March 3, 2018
I’d talk to your ps first, before you jump the gun!! Did Diamond post a pic on RS? Hopefully you’ll have a nice long post op visit with your doc, and discuss all the pros and cons of a revision. Did you make it to Starbucks in time for that delicious Frappuccino? It’s the simple things in life that makes us happy!!! I’m the same... a cup of DD and this girl is happy. Good luck watching your team. Nice that you’re sharing your cheerleading time with the girls. Enjoy, you deserve it. Love your excitement!!
March 3, 2018
Did ya get a chance to see my update review? I know you’re watching your team now!!! whooooo hooooo. hugs!
March 3, 2018
I saw my surgeon yesterday for my post op, and he was very pleased with my progress!! He took a couple of X-rays, and my healing is on point!! I will now have PT at a local rehabilitation center. And.....drumroll... I can now drive, locally! Yeahhhh, I’m a free woman again! I now graduated from a walker to a cane. I still have my hip restrictions for another couple of weeks. He was very impressed with my progress, and was in awe with my posture!! I’m crediting that all to my awesome PT lady!!
March 8, 2018
Tbh, I haven’t had time to check out her profile. I should to see if she has posted any photos. That’s would definitely be helpful. I’m not going to jump the gun. I have a feeling of what’s to come, but no details yet. I’ll see my surgeon on Friday, so that’s right around the corner. I’m sure I won’t have any set plans after that date, but I should definitely have a better idea of what possibilities lie ahead. Yeah, I frantically made it to Starbucks as the clock was running down to gametime. It wasn’t girlfriends. It was just a roommate (male) and an ex-roommate (male also). Guys, I’ve found, are easier to live with. I hadn’t seen my old roommate in months so that was nice. You know what’s been going on with me though. I won’t go into it here. I’m trying to work on the inside and today was Day 1. ;-)
March 8, 2018
No, I didn’t with all the work craziness and late nights/no sleep, but it actually came to my mind an hour ago and I plan to do that. I wouldn’t leave you hanging. I have to go back to a FB message to find out what you needed me to do. It’s been a bit chaotic to say the least.
March 8, 2018
That is so awesome to hear and I’m sure it was music to your ears to get the confirmation from him that you are healing well and ahead of the curve!!! Don’t go nuts now, but get out there and do your thing. Lol. Freedom!!! A mobile Randi = random shopping excursions! Like me, you are a very prepared person and do all of the things necessary to ensure the best recovery possible. Even though mine was elective, no matter the procedure, I definitely want the best outcome and will put in the extra effort.
March 7, 2018
Hi there Mary. I’m thinking about you all day today!! Hopefully you are feeling less stressed and managing your anxiety level at work. Take deep breathes!! love and hugs
March 8, 2018
I’m trying to not worry about anything, which is difficult, and very strange. Lol. I need to slow my roll, as they say and not think too much. I can make anything stressful apparently. This situation with the surgery is just one more thing that added to the long list of issues that finally tipped me over the edge! Omg...that’s all I’ll say on here about that. Haha. Hugs!!!
March 8, 2018
I’m proud of you for taking on a new role!! Don’t let stress take control of situations!! Your ps will make things perfect for you!! I’m sure in the long end, it will not be noticeable at all. Love you. Did you have time to look st my update and pic??
March 8, 2018
I could totally commiserate with you on over thinking!! I have to stop myself and focus on other less stressful situations.
March 9, 2018
Thank you. I went to bed early (for me) last night - 1am. Lol. I’m going to look in a minute. My appointment with my PS has been rescheduled for 3/21, so it’ll be a little longer before I can fill you in on what’s to come in the future regarding my surgeries.
March 9, 2018
You are quite the night owl!! I could not stay up that late. But, I’m up everyday at 5:00. So your appointment has been rescheduled? I’ll be very curious to hear what she has to say.
March 9, 2018
I’m trying but still overthinking small/unimportant things quite often. I am aware of it most of the time and trying to stay aware. Once I acknowledge I am creating unnecessary stress, I try to my best to settle myself down before I allow my nervous system to get out of control (past the point of no return).
March 9, 2018
You seem to have a handle on it. I realize at times in my life, I have had a handle on things but if I’m not careful, I revert back to my panicky, perfectionistic thinking and actions.
March 9, 2018
Ditto! I think my favorite pastime is worrying about things that I can’t control. My husband will be the first to call me out on it! It is just my anxiety kicking in.
March 9, 2018
At least you’re aware of it, and not in denial. That’s a plus! I can overdue things with too much attention to detail!
March 9, 2018
I am not always aware, but now that I am consciously paying attention, I am more. The problem is it’s still hard to always stop the worrying just because I recognize it. There is that strong, overwhelming need to control the things around me, even if I cannot. I can only control the things I do to help create a desired outcome and the way I react. I know that in my head, but I still want to force an outcome to be a certain way.
March 9, 2018
I also like to have control of things, and fear the things that I can’t control! It’s more of a women’s thing. I’ve lost too much in my life, so I try so hard to control things, and keep things at a constant!
March 13, 2018
Hi Mary!!! Just thinking about you, knowing that Monday and Tuesdays are your “days from hell”. It’s Tuesday evening, so hopefully you are home and winding down!! When is your next visit with your ps? Tomorrow is hump day, and you’re almost at the finish line. HOOOOORAY
UPDATED FROM maryhopeski
1 month post
One-Month Check-In!
I am now exactly one month post-surgery. Any swelling, bruising, and tightness have subsided even more since my 21 day check-in, so the brows and eyelid area have started to settle more and are probably beginning to look closer to what the final result will be (except for the scarring I hope, which I am treating daily). I continue to keep my eyelids lubricated with erythromycin and some other natural oils. I am using BioCorneum (and sometimes Mederma PM) on my brow incision lines (and excised mole area).
I see my oculoplastic surgeon for another follow-up in less than 3 weeks, thankfully. I have a couple of questions and concerns. I welcome any comments or opinions about the current “results” of my surgery(s), positive or negative. Thank you. :-)
I see my oculoplastic surgeon for another follow-up in less than 3 weeks, thankfully. I have a couple of questions and concerns. I welcome any comments or opinions about the current “results” of my surgery(s), positive or negative. Thank you. :-)
Replies (5)
January 2, 2018
Mary thank you so much or your reply. This has been very informative, as you may have given me an answer as to why my eyes are so heavy. it’s exhausting holding up my forehead all day!
January 7, 2018
You are very welcome and I totally understand. I’ve had a very busy end of the week and weekend, so I apologize for how long it took for me to reply. You wouldn’t think some extra skin on the lids would be that heavy, but it really does make a difference. It’s been just over a month and I have been to work regularly and seen close friends, but yesterday was the first time I went to a dress-up “event.” I put on eye makeup and it was so weird to be able to actually line the top of my lids and put on eye shadow without skin folds in the way. That was nice. I’ve been really trying to keep anything “foreign” away from that area as it heals. I hear other people using eye makeup after a couple of weeks. I’ll go back to all-natural for my routine living for now, but my eyes looked so cool yesterday with the different shades I used. I’m not a huge makeup person as it is, but I had some fun with it!!!
January 2, 2018
Looking at the above photos, Mary, I see the absolute healing process to be ON POINT. You’re looking at this under a microscope! I am empathetic to your worries, but I am viewing a beautiful eye bleph on a beautiful woman, who now has eyelids that anyone would LOVE!! Get that eyeliner on those eyes, and work it!!! There’s no reason to think that this was a “botched “ result. Look in the mirror, and Love Love what you see. You look stunning.
January 7, 2018
Randi! My dear long lost friend...lol...I feel like it’s been forever because I got caught up with a lot at the end of the week and I went to a “public” dressy event that took up all of yesterday. Thank you so much for giving me your objective opinion and I always trust you. It’s actually good to hear that the result is good and my overactive/scrutinizing brain that needs the help. Lmao. I woke up extra early because I had to travel but also I knew I was going to use eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara all at the same time, for the first time since surgery. I was leery of putting eyeshadow on still healing eyes. I also used concealer to cover up the brow lines. That was harder to do because of the line indents, but I don’t think anyone noticed. It blended in pretty well, and the “worse-off” eyebrow was partially hidden under my hair. I loved being able to put on a decent line of eyeliner and it didn’t smudge all over the place. Lol. I was able to put a distinct different lower lid shade on and upper lid shade and not have it all mushed together. YAY. I still notice some of the things I pointed out, but not worried because I will see my ps and the improvement is huge. I will go back to leaving my lids alone and brow lines. Unless I have a special occasion, like yesterday, I want to make sure the skin is breathing and healing properly.
How have you been holding up in this cold weather? Believe it or not, the state of Virginia, which everyone thinks of as the south, has been in the negative degrees in the evenings and early mornings. Haha. Missed you. Xoxo
How have you been holding up in this cold weather? Believe it or not, the state of Virginia, which everyone thinks of as the south, has been in the negative degrees in the evenings and early mornings. Haha. Missed you. Xoxo
January 8, 2018
Mary got to play dress up??!! How fun! There’s nothing like taking out all the arsenal and having fun with those HUGE NEW EYES! I’m sure you rocked the house down. Have you resumed your work out routine in it’s entirety? That’s the best celebratory feeling. Great feeling to start up again with running. I agree with you on not applying any makeup on the new healing skin. Just let Nature work it’s course. I’m so happy you’re doing well. I was truly worried about my Virginia Friend Ms. Mary!!! Endless hugs.
January 10, 2018
It was fun to get out for the “first” time and dress up and put on some eye makeup without worrying about it all smudging and not even looking that good because of the old draping skin. I’m still waiting for it to improve, but it was a decent test run! Lol
My work routine is definitely back in full force. I do take a day off Wednesday and sometimes Friday, at the expense of overworking on the other days. Sometimes I don’t know which is worse. When I was M-F, I still worked late a lot, but now I’ll find myself there from 8am to 2am (or later/earlier depending on how you view 3 and 4 am) the next morning and that’s just tooooooo much. These new eyes are not liking it at all. Not having any of it!!!
My work routine is definitely back in full force. I do take a day off Wednesday and sometimes Friday, at the expense of overworking on the other days. Sometimes I don’t know which is worse. When I was M-F, I still worked late a lot, but now I’ll find myself there from 8am to 2am (or later/earlier depending on how you view 3 and 4 am) the next morning and that’s just tooooooo much. These new eyes are not liking it at all. Not having any of it!!!
January 10, 2018
Yes, the initial application of makeup after my bleph was monumental. I, too, had smudge on my lids from eyeliner. I’m sure you look awesome. It is fun to occasionally get dressed up and play adult. You really sound like one very driven lady! In a good way of course. Your dedication to your job is one that I would assume doesn’t go unnoticed. It’s obvious why you needed your eyes done. They’re in overtime. Give it a rest girlfriend. You must deal with stress easier than I do. I’m not functional under too much stress. I’m a worry wart. I take things too serious sometimes. It is what it is. I can’t change that. I’ve had some tragedies in my lifetime, which contributes to my anxiety. But, when it comes to plastic surgery......I’m a whole different person. I so look forward to my procedures, and never fear the results. It’s always better than what I started with. Lol. Oh, Ms Mary, I wish you lived closer. We’d have sooooo much fun!!!!
January 10, 2018
I’m glad I appear to take the stress we’ll because sometimes I feel like I am about to fall apart completely and have a breakdown. I am too serious these days, especially when it comes to work. I have a fear of change. I’ve also been through some trauma in life and some of my anxiety is probably worse for that. I see a psychiatrist and have for years just for anxiety purposes. If I didn’t take some medication, honestly I don’t think I would be able to function in a lot of situations. It’s not a cure all and I still experience a lot of stress, but at least it’s not completely paralyzing me to the point of not functioning.
I understand the surgery thing. I wasn’t nearly as anxious about this surgery beforehand as I am on a daily basis when I work or deal with other stressful situations. Lol.
I wish you lived close by too. We could go to lunch, happy hours, hit the town, unwind and let loose! Or, just to have a great person to have your back and be there unconditionally, and vice versa.
I understand the surgery thing. I wasn’t nearly as anxious about this surgery beforehand as I am on a daily basis when I work or deal with other stressful situations. Lol.
I wish you lived close by too. We could go to lunch, happy hours, hit the town, unwind and let loose! Or, just to have a great person to have your back and be there unconditionally, and vice versa.
June 12, 2018
Ya know, I actually detest putting in eyeliner as much if not more than before. And, I have been thinking about that a lot lately. It still smudges in the left side because of the low fold and the surface I am working with is so bumpy, I cannot draw on an even line along the lash. I cannot draw the line outward at all to try a semi-cat eye look. I have to stop abruptly at the corners. I didn’t wear it everyday before, but I’m starting to not want to wear any eyeliner, just mascara. And that really sucks. I wanted the excess skin gone but as a bonus, I was really looking forward to applying some eye makeup. I am not even exaggerating. I have bought about 15 new liners and I cannot use any of the marker kind and no liner is ideal. But the liquid marker kind can make a really pretty line and was easier in my old lids. Smh. Oh well, still no dinner for me. I worked almost 13 hours today. Very tired. Wednesday’s a big day (I pray) so I better get good sleep. Goodnight my dear friend.
June 12, 2018
Fifteen eyeliners? You can start a makeup blog. Lol. I kind of like the natural look of a clean eye with just mascara. I also experiment with mascara. I must have 6 different brands. I love mixing them together. It’s like a chemistry project. Lol.
Good luck tomorrow Rest up today. I’m feeling the good vibes with this doc. She kind of reminds me of Dr. Sweis, angelic looking with a sense of empowerment. A true look of a driven person with strong intentions.
Prayers for you my dearest friend
June 13, 2018
Hi My Dazzling Diamond!
I’m not budding into this conversation, just dropping by to see how you are doing!? How is the healing progression? If I must say so myself, I’ve met many lovely lovely ladies on RS, but you and Mary just make me smile :-) , BIG TIME SMILE! You two could start a blog on inspirational quotes. I feel the best karma resonating out of your messages. Take care, my friend. Xoxo Randi
June 14, 2018
Hello gorgeous Randi!!! You are so kind <3 You and Mary make my heart smile and help me believe that the world still has compassionate and loving people. I am so pleased with my healing, all is well and I know Mary will be the same with hers. Wishing you both a happy and inspiring weekend...….. heck, why stop there, go for a happy and inspiring life. XOXOXO
June 14, 2018
Diamond Girl!
You make my heart sing! You are a gem my friend. Wishing you only the best that life has to offer. Let’s continue with our cyber friendship. Xoxo Randi
June 14, 2018
Randi, I second that motion, continue friendship triangle agreed :) Have you heard from Mary? She's one side of this triangle of friendship <3
June 15, 2018
My Shiny Diamond Girl,
I have not heard from Mary! :-( I did leave her a message, but never heard back. I’m planning on sending her a Facebook message this evening. She is a needed point of our triangle. Xoxo
June 16, 2018
Hi Diamond. I'm so happy that your healing is going along so well. You deserve this after everything you've bravely endured. I am still on a quest. I literally worked until at least 8-9pm every night this week, except Wednesday. My DC trip on Wednesday was very exhausting. I left in the morning and got back after 7, going through the DC, northern VA rush hour traffic. Ugghh. I came home and hurried to get a few things done, eat dinner, etc. so I could just drop and lay down. I've been wanting to get back with you and Randi. Today, Saturday, is my only day to catch up with life. I am going to try to direct message you because I am not comfortable discussing that appointment on here for obvious reasons. You've been inspiring to me and one reason I keep going even though I wanted an instant solution and answers about what to do about the various issues surrounding my eyelids and eye brows. I'll dm you shortly. Xoxo <3
June 16, 2018
I love this triangle friendship. I'm the bad side if the triangle as I am always a few days behind. Lol. I'll try my best to do better. I couldn't have if I wanted to this week. It was that bad/busy/crazy!
June 16, 2018
Ya know, I've been thinking a lot (which isn't unusual and it's slowly killing me lol). But seriously, at this point it is very sunny outside, not ideal for getting additional incisions, etc, and laser treatments, so I am looking at the early fall time to revise the issues. I'd love to know right now what that will entail and who will be doing it, but there is no huge urgency now that we are approaching July. I would be more afraid of going outside and damaging the healing process. That does buy me some time. I can do my research as time permits and by the end of July, I'd definitely like to have a plan. I appreciate all of the positive comments. Yes. One day soon (even if it's in September or October), I will have the results I was hoping for (minus scars that will be at least present for life but diminished greatly)! Wishing you both a relaxing and rejuvenating weekend. <3
June 16, 2018
You have it all down to a science, strategically thinking!!! That’s my Mary!! Yes, shun the sun is imperative after any procedure, especially laser. My ps wants to do laser on my chest, which is bearing many years of sun damage. She will not touch me until at least September. And, you, with all your smarts, will be researching the best laser there is for your scar. No doubt in my mind!!!! Lol.
June 16, 2018
That's what I'm thinking. September. I also see some sun damage on the chest bone and down the road might do laser for that as well. I came on here initially for baggy eyelids and am finding out about so many different options of I choose to down the road, or even sooner for some things. Like CO2 laser resurfacing for face. I'm really interested in that later in the year.
June 16, 2018
I wish there was a treatment to get rid of crepey skin. Ugh! I could use a “body lift”! Starting from my tummy down to the feet. It would be awesome to have a ps in the family, right?!
June 17, 2018
Have a fun filled Father’s Day. Don’t forget your sunscreen if you’re outdoors. Hugs~~~
June 17, 2018
Wonderful idea Mary, mine got done in January after the holiday stress was over and I had enough time before spring <3
June 17, 2018
Great minds think alike, Ms Shiny Diamond Girl!! We are smart cookies. Love, Randi
Triangle Girls Rule!
January 2, 2018
I am back again, lol, studying your photos. Mary, you looked soooooo tired and sad initially. Now.... I see Mary with a youthful face, and happy. You are a perfect example of a tired looking woman, and now refreshed and an entire new level of beauty!!! my gosh, you are a threat lol to other women.
January 7, 2018
I’m a threat, ehh? Lol. They’ll have to deal with it. Jk. I’m still humble. It’s funny because I knew my eyes were steadily aging over the past few years, but had no idea just how tired I was looking. I was used to that look. To me, I think I told myself it was just my “look.” My eye shape or whatever. Accepting aging is not easy. I do feel like that area was aging the fastest, unlessim just dillusional and everything is older looking than I am admitting. Haha. No, I really can see a big difference. I had plenty of beforehand pics that look “pretty.” But, mascara and some liner helped that tired appearance. I made sure to take the pictures I posted on here in a super natural, no filter, no hiding anything kind of way.
January 4, 2018
Hi Mary. Haven’t heard from you in awhile. I hope you’re ok, and getting on with the New Year with your beautiful new eyes!! You probably can see the world differently now with those huge eyes. Lol. Hugs v
January 7, 2018
I’ve replied to a couple of earlier posts and a dm. Thanks for asking and I feel terrible for not getting back sooner, but I worked a ton last week to make up for the holiday time off, then the busy weekend. All is well. How are things in the Windy City? (Chicago is the windy city, right?) lol
January 6, 2018
Hi Mary!!! Haven’t heard from you. I’m worried about you! Hope ya can drop me a quick line just for peace of mind.
January 7, 2018
Awwww....I really was thinking of you as I could never seem to get to my personal emails, where I usually reply back directly from there. I’m sorry. You’re so sweet to worry, but I feel so guilty. I kept thinking “after I get through these few crazy days, I’ll catch up with Randi.” I’m serious. I really did think about you several times and wanted to catch up. Tomorrow begins my Monday/Tuesday work nightmare. I have Wednesday off usually. Last week was an exception as I had too much going on. Hugs :-)
Replies (5)
First of all, you know I don’t have much time (chunks of time I need to do meaningful research and contact the surgeon). Then, I am having to trust that what I am hearing from across the country (CA) is for real and I, having difficulty with that. I have the “pretty” surgeon I visited in July still offering non-invasive measures only, but I may come to find out that I really don’t have enough skin left to revise wig a new incision, but yet I have just enough baggy awkward skin folds that I really do need a revision, not just CO2 and PRP treatments. I guess what I’m saying is I can’t just sign on the dotted line and try out this and that procedure. I want to have a few opinions and then be confident in my choice of Doctor to perform this very important revision (to me). Tough. Struggling and the os who did wonders why I was so disappointed?! I cannot just live my life. I’m still trying to achieve a reasonable outcome to a surgery that should have been successful the first time around.