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It feels as though I woke up one day when I was...
It feels as though I woke up one day when I was fourteen and suddenly, I was wearing a D-cup bra. Now, I'm 22, wearing a 32 DDD, and I've had enough. I was approved two years ago, but was unable to have the surgery because I was leaving to join the military.
Everyone said, "Oh, honey! Just do some push-ups and they'll perk right up!" I can definitely tell you, that after two solid years and countless push-ups, these girls are no perkier than they were the day I left for basic training.
So, I'm doing this. The kicker for me was spending the day at a water park a few weeks back. I've never felt comfortable in a swimsuit in my life, and as I stood in line for a ride in my extremely top-heavy one piece, I found myself wondering, "How would it feel to be confident in a swimsuit? What would it be like to just enjoy the day, not worrying about how large and dumpy I look?" For the record, I am NOT dumpy! I try very hard to dress for my frame, but almost every shopping trip ends with me in tears, or very close to it. When I look in the mirror, I see a fat slob, and I KNOW I'm not!
I want what's on my outside to match what's on the inside: a carefree, spontaneous, not afraid to rock a halter swimsuit, girl. The other day I asked myself:, "Can I live like this for the next sixty years?" And the answer was a resounding, "No!" I don't want back and neck pain, shoulder grooves that won't go away, and nasty rashes between my saggy breasts! I don't want to spend hours shopping, only to find nothing and be miserable at the end of every trip! And I certainly don't want to look like a [RS bleep] if I wear something even marginally tight.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my physician to talk about my options. If he says he won't refer me, or if insurance eventually denies my claim, I am going ahead and paying for it myself, because one this is for sure: I can't do this for the rest of my life. My breasts are not my whole identity, but I feel like try are the only thing people notice, so I am hopping off this crazy train at the next possible stop! Wish me luck!
Everyone said, "Oh, honey! Just do some push-ups and they'll perk right up!" I can definitely tell you, that after two solid years and countless push-ups, these girls are no perkier than they were the day I left for basic training.
So, I'm doing this. The kicker for me was spending the day at a water park a few weeks back. I've never felt comfortable in a swimsuit in my life, and as I stood in line for a ride in my extremely top-heavy one piece, I found myself wondering, "How would it feel to be confident in a swimsuit? What would it be like to just enjoy the day, not worrying about how large and dumpy I look?" For the record, I am NOT dumpy! I try very hard to dress for my frame, but almost every shopping trip ends with me in tears, or very close to it. When I look in the mirror, I see a fat slob, and I KNOW I'm not!
I want what's on my outside to match what's on the inside: a carefree, spontaneous, not afraid to rock a halter swimsuit, girl. The other day I asked myself:, "Can I live like this for the next sixty years?" And the answer was a resounding, "No!" I don't want back and neck pain, shoulder grooves that won't go away, and nasty rashes between my saggy breasts! I don't want to spend hours shopping, only to find nothing and be miserable at the end of every trip! And I certainly don't want to look like a [RS bleep] if I wear something even marginally tight.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my physician to talk about my options. If he says he won't refer me, or if insurance eventually denies my claim, I am going ahead and paying for it myself, because one this is for sure: I can't do this for the rest of my life. My breasts are not my whole identity, but I feel like try are the only thing people notice, so I am hopping off this crazy train at the next possible stop! Wish me luck!
One Hurdle Down!
Wow! My initial post was up for less than an hour before I got a nasty comment! I won't lie, seeing their unkind words made me rethink whether I should be posting my experience at all, but then I got a message from a woman who said she knew exactly what I was going through. She said she found herself nodding through my whole post, so I’m thinking that I need to stick with this.
I had my appointment with my doctor today to discuss options regarding pursuing surgery. And big news! I got a referral to see a surgeon! This is amazing! I feel that I have jumped over a huge hurdle today. I was really afraid that my doctor would laugh me out the door. Thank goodness my fears were unfounded!
He basically gave me a list of criteria. I sneaked a picture of it so that I could share it with readers who may be curious about what requirements are needed to be eligible.
Please keep in mind that these requirements are for my facility only. They are in no way a guarantee that you will be referred if you experience these same symptoms.
Requirements. I had to meet each of the following requirements.
• At least 1 of these symptoms:
o Arm numbness consistent with brachial plexus compression syndrome
o Cervical pain
o Chronic breast pain
o Headaches (Check!)
o Nipple position greater than 21 cm below suprasternal notch
o Persistent redness and erythema (intertrigo) below breasts (Check!)
o Restriction of physical activity (Check!)
o Sever bra strap grooving or ulceration of the shoulder (Check!)
o Thoracic kyphosis
o Upper or lower back pain (Check check check!)
• Estimate of breast volume of 750 cc or greater, or bra cup size of D or greater (I’m a DDD!)
• Failure to relieve symptoms with nonsurgical treatment that includes 1 or more of the following:
o 4 to 8 visits of physical therapy or chiropractic care, and 2 to 4 months of home exercise for cervical, shoulder, or upper or lower back pain (Check!)
o Medically supervised weight loss program for overweight or obese patient (Not necessary. I’m 5’6 and 135 lbs)
o Topical and oral antifungal agents for intertrigo
o Wound care for skin ulceration
• Predicted removal of 250 cc or more of breast tissue or 1/3 more of estimated preoperative breast volume (Check! I’d like to go from DDD to a B cup)
According to these criteria, I am a great candidate! Technically, I still have to wait for the referral to be approved, but I have a good feeling that it will be. I should know within 3 days. Then I’ll be off to the surgeon to be evaluated. Then I have to wait for my insurance to approve the surgery. Then I can have the surgery!
It seems like a long process but I feel like each step is getting me closer and closer to smaller breasts and a happier life! I was reading through my last post and realized I had a lot of negatives, so I'm going to start with my goals. What do I hope to gain by having smaller breasts?
1. I want to be able to be more active. I am in the military, and as such I lead a forced active life, but I want to have the desire to exercise more. Right now, I have trouble just getting through PT. I would like to be able to do more physically and not feel hindered by my large breasts.
2. I want to wear clothes that fit me. It seems that I can never find clothing that is flattering. I wear a lot of plain, often baggy, t-shirts. I want to wear cute tops and swimsuits!
3. I don't want to feel ashamed/fat/dumpy. I shouldn't be spending my life in misery. I want to enjoy outdoor activities without gross boob sweat and nasty rashes.
Those are my main goals, and I think with breast reduction surgery, they are totally achievable. Hopefully I’ll have a referral soon and then I can see the surgeon!
Documenting this experience is already proving cathartic. I just need to stick with it until the end so you can all see my results!
Until next time!
I had my appointment with my doctor today to discuss options regarding pursuing surgery. And big news! I got a referral to see a surgeon! This is amazing! I feel that I have jumped over a huge hurdle today. I was really afraid that my doctor would laugh me out the door. Thank goodness my fears were unfounded!
He basically gave me a list of criteria. I sneaked a picture of it so that I could share it with readers who may be curious about what requirements are needed to be eligible.
Please keep in mind that these requirements are for my facility only. They are in no way a guarantee that you will be referred if you experience these same symptoms.
Requirements. I had to meet each of the following requirements.
• At least 1 of these symptoms:
o Arm numbness consistent with brachial plexus compression syndrome
o Cervical pain
o Chronic breast pain
o Headaches (Check!)
o Nipple position greater than 21 cm below suprasternal notch
o Persistent redness and erythema (intertrigo) below breasts (Check!)
o Restriction of physical activity (Check!)
o Sever bra strap grooving or ulceration of the shoulder (Check!)
o Thoracic kyphosis
o Upper or lower back pain (Check check check!)
• Estimate of breast volume of 750 cc or greater, or bra cup size of D or greater (I’m a DDD!)
• Failure to relieve symptoms with nonsurgical treatment that includes 1 or more of the following:
o 4 to 8 visits of physical therapy or chiropractic care, and 2 to 4 months of home exercise for cervical, shoulder, or upper or lower back pain (Check!)
o Medically supervised weight loss program for overweight or obese patient (Not necessary. I’m 5’6 and 135 lbs)
o Topical and oral antifungal agents for intertrigo
o Wound care for skin ulceration
• Predicted removal of 250 cc or more of breast tissue or 1/3 more of estimated preoperative breast volume (Check! I’d like to go from DDD to a B cup)
According to these criteria, I am a great candidate! Technically, I still have to wait for the referral to be approved, but I have a good feeling that it will be. I should know within 3 days. Then I’ll be off to the surgeon to be evaluated. Then I have to wait for my insurance to approve the surgery. Then I can have the surgery!
It seems like a long process but I feel like each step is getting me closer and closer to smaller breasts and a happier life! I was reading through my last post and realized I had a lot of negatives, so I'm going to start with my goals. What do I hope to gain by having smaller breasts?
1. I want to be able to be more active. I am in the military, and as such I lead a forced active life, but I want to have the desire to exercise more. Right now, I have trouble just getting through PT. I would like to be able to do more physically and not feel hindered by my large breasts.
2. I want to wear clothes that fit me. It seems that I can never find clothing that is flattering. I wear a lot of plain, often baggy, t-shirts. I want to wear cute tops and swimsuits!
3. I don't want to feel ashamed/fat/dumpy. I shouldn't be spending my life in misery. I want to enjoy outdoor activities without gross boob sweat and nasty rashes.
Those are my main goals, and I think with breast reduction surgery, they are totally achievable. Hopefully I’ll have a referral soon and then I can see the surgeon!
Documenting this experience is already proving cathartic. I just need to stick with it until the end so you can all see my results!
Until next time!
Consultation Booked!
Big news! A few days ago, my referral for a consultation was APPROVED! It's also coded ad "Evaluate and Treat" which means I don't have to go back to my physician after the consultation to get the surgery approved. The surgeon can make the recommendation directly to the insurance company.
After a little more thought, I've decided that I'm pretty sure it will be approved, but it is stressing me out. My stress is marginally mitigated by the facet that I am prepared to pay for the surgery myself if it doesn't end up working out.
There was also something else pretty cool about the referral getting approved. I'm not sure how other insurance works, but when you get a referral for something off-base for TriCare, they tell you who you will be seeing. You can always call and change it if the specialist you want to see takes TriCare.
But my referral was already set up for the surgeon that I want to see! So, I just feel that so far, everything is going very smoothly. The only issue is that I hate waiting, and I still have a week and half until my appointment, but I've been getting myself through by telling myself that by the end of October, I will know whether insurance is going to pay for the surgery or not. I believe TriCare is supposed to get back to you within two weeks, so I'll definitely know by October 22nd. That makes me feel a little better.
I wanted to add some more photos of what I've been going through because I know it's been a huge inspiration for me to see other girls' photos. That's really the reason for today's post. I also wanted to put, in writing, a checklist detailing the remaining obstacles to be overcome.
1. Go to consultation. - I have photos printed out of the results I hope to attain. I really want us to be on the same page and I am really big into expectations management. Now, I just hope I like the doctor!
2. Get approval from TriCare for the actual surgery. - This is GOING to happen! I'm just trying to stay positive!
3. Have the surgery!
Wow, now that I've written it all down, it doesn't seem quite as insurmountable.
The other things, not surgery related, seem a little bit more daunting.
1. Move into new house. -This is happening mid-October, but we've barely packed. We're not moving too far, but it still seems like a lot of work ahead of us!
2. Pass classes. - I start two classes this fall, humanities and math. The last day of class is mid-December. If I'm approved, I haven't decided if I want to wait until after classes are over, or just go ahead and have the surgery asap. My deep shoulder grooves say ASAP.
Ok, maybe not so daunting. I have other things I need to do, but those are the big ones.
It might be a little early, but I already bought some adorable pajamas that have button-up tops. I also included the photo of those because, come on, they're ADORABLE. I think I'm going to shorten the sleeves on the pink ones so I have a long-sleeved set and a short-sleeved set.
I also bought the remaining seven seasons of "Smallville," because, come on, Tom Welling is ADORABLE. I'm determined to let him and the cast of "Downton Abbey" help me through the recovery process.
My next post will hopefully be on the other side of my consultation!
After a little more thought, I've decided that I'm pretty sure it will be approved, but it is stressing me out. My stress is marginally mitigated by the facet that I am prepared to pay for the surgery myself if it doesn't end up working out.
There was also something else pretty cool about the referral getting approved. I'm not sure how other insurance works, but when you get a referral for something off-base for TriCare, they tell you who you will be seeing. You can always call and change it if the specialist you want to see takes TriCare.
But my referral was already set up for the surgeon that I want to see! So, I just feel that so far, everything is going very smoothly. The only issue is that I hate waiting, and I still have a week and half until my appointment, but I've been getting myself through by telling myself that by the end of October, I will know whether insurance is going to pay for the surgery or not. I believe TriCare is supposed to get back to you within two weeks, so I'll definitely know by October 22nd. That makes me feel a little better.
I wanted to add some more photos of what I've been going through because I know it's been a huge inspiration for me to see other girls' photos. That's really the reason for today's post. I also wanted to put, in writing, a checklist detailing the remaining obstacles to be overcome.
1. Go to consultation. - I have photos printed out of the results I hope to attain. I really want us to be on the same page and I am really big into expectations management. Now, I just hope I like the doctor!
2. Get approval from TriCare for the actual surgery. - This is GOING to happen! I'm just trying to stay positive!
3. Have the surgery!
Wow, now that I've written it all down, it doesn't seem quite as insurmountable.
The other things, not surgery related, seem a little bit more daunting.
1. Move into new house. -This is happening mid-October, but we've barely packed. We're not moving too far, but it still seems like a lot of work ahead of us!
2. Pass classes. - I start two classes this fall, humanities and math. The last day of class is mid-December. If I'm approved, I haven't decided if I want to wait until after classes are over, or just go ahead and have the surgery asap. My deep shoulder grooves say ASAP.
Ok, maybe not so daunting. I have other things I need to do, but those are the big ones.
It might be a little early, but I already bought some adorable pajamas that have button-up tops. I also included the photo of those because, come on, they're ADORABLE. I think I'm going to shorten the sleeves on the pink ones so I have a long-sleeved set and a short-sleeved set.
I also bought the remaining seven seasons of "Smallville," because, come on, Tom Welling is ADORABLE. I'm determined to let him and the cast of "Downton Abbey" help me through the recovery process.
My next post will hopefully be on the other side of my consultation!
Provider Review
Board Certified Plastic Surgeon
245 Seven Farms Dr., Daniel Island, South Carolina