I'm Goin' for It! 43yrs, 2 C-sections BA Revision, MR, Lipo. Cary, NC

*sigh* Where to start? I'll start where the rest...

*sigh* Where to start? I'll start where the rest of you have started, and give my stats: 5'5", 175lbs, 2 C-sections that were 7 and 11 years ago. It finally dawned on me that I am disgusted by my body. I did all the usual things like run from mirrors, etc, but it wasn't till about 18 months ago that I realized that I didn't feel like myself. And I hadn't felt like myself, since I had kids. Rewind 17 years: I had implants (saline) placed when I was 26. I was TOTALLY flat-chested, and it changed my life. Seriously. I had so much more confidence after the BA. I loved my body! It was great. Then I went the traditional route and got married and eventually had kids. My body totally changed after my first child, but I was so happy and excited (not to mention tired) that I didn't notice how poorly I felt about my body, and what an effect that would have on me in the long run. I've also got quite a history of anxiety/depression/OCD which has resulted in a bunch of meds. Unfortunately these meds now make it impossible to lose weight. I've tried everything, and can't get the scale to budge. I'm currently doing Orange Theory Fitness 4 days a week. Phew. So, despite not being at my optimal weight, it's time to just go for it. I know I will never be tiny again, but there's nothing wrong with curves:) once I have a waist and some new boobies I'll be as good as new! So I found Dr. Morea in this site, went for an initial consult in January, and am now booked for July 6 th. Can't wait. I'm counting down by sleeps, days of work, and gym work outs. Just about enough to make myself crazy! I can't say how great it has been to have found this site. I have read countless stories, and they have helped educate me and encourage me. So , I hope I can do the same for someone. I'll post pics when I'm a little braver. I need to retake them, and as you know, that's not much fun in the "before" body!!

The Dreaded "Before's".

Can't believe I'm willing to post actual pics of myself. I can only do this because all of the other women who have done it, and it's been a great benefit to me. So, you can see my lovely apron accompanied by my spare tire. I went to see the doctor yesterday because I had more questions and also needed to show him some wish pics which I didn't have at the original consultation. He and his staff were great. He confirmed that I was looking to go with larger implants than originally thought. That makes me happy and nervous and scared all at once. Then we discussed my spare tire, and what is actually included in "flanks". I'm so glad I asked, because the flanks don't wrap around to your back. Didn't catch the name of what that's called, but he said lipo to that area would be extra, because of the location I would have to be flipped over in surgery in order to access it. Wasn't planning on that, but now that I know, I think I need to go for it. I don't plan on making any other big trips to the OR any time soon. It's another $1500. Luckily we have a little nest egg. Looking for others having surgery around the same time. There are few people that I'm willing to share this with in real life??. Thanks to those sharing their journey. Happy healing!

Any reading suggestions for my husband?

im constantly reading about MMOs, TTs, post op, etc. you might say I'm obsessed with it :) I've learned a LOT from reading in this site. I've encouraged my husband to do some reading as well so he'll know what to expect during the recovery. However, I'm not really sure what to have him read. If anyone has any suggestions, that would be great. I've suggested reading posts on Real Self like I do, but he's not really interested in all the info that comes with these reviews. I want him to read that I will barely be ambulatory immediately post op, and that those first two days and nights are going to be challenging. Really challenging. I'm also worried that he'll have to travel in a few weeks of my surgery, which would leave me with the kids alone. I guess I need to wait and see what happens. I'm nervous about all sorts of stuff when it comes to this topic! Last night I wandered around Amazin looking at all the things I could buy. I started a wish list. I don't want to over-buy. But Itbos so tempting--and fun-- looking for stuff for this surgery and afterward. I can hardly stand it! Thanks for posting everyone! Happy Healing!

Worried about my size

so I'm no longer a 6. Or an 8. Or a 10. I'm teetering on the edge of plus-sized. I've tried slashing calories. I've tried Weight Watchers. My docs think that my medications are preventing weight loss. Life without the meds is not an option. This pic shows how round I am. It does a fair job of hiding the apron, but still is not attractive. I asked my ps about getting the surgery at my size, and he was totally optimistic, saying that he'd just done a girl who was 240 lbs. it's good to hear that he thinks there's hope that this could help my silhouette. But I'm still very down about my size. I read if all the people on here that weigh 40 lbs less than me, and I have to admit- I'm a bit jealous. Ok, I'm a lot jealous. I'm nervous that I won't have as good of a result due to visceral fat that can't be sucked out or cut out. I'm in countdown mode as the days march on toward my surgery date. I have 30 more work-outs to get in during the next 7.5 weeks. If I'm not going to get thinner then I'll try to get stronger for recovery. That's what gets me through every grueling push up and lunge! So, here's to us plus-sized MMOs. Wishing you happy healing and loving acceptance.

Feel like a hypocrite!

So I am blessed with two little boys. But they're growing up quickly. My oldest son is almost 11 and is starting to be concerned with his body/body image. He's teased for being so skinny. And he is. So. Skinny. (I remember the old days when I was skinny!) So I'm talking to him about how it doesn't matter what you look like, it's what's inside that counts and then I look down at my bulging belly and wonder why I can't accept that for myself. I am not doubting my decision to do this, but this has made me stop in my tracks and take a good look at myself.

I seriously praise all of you with daughters because this must be twice as hard. I'm perplexed as to how to convey how I feel about this. Would I support my son if he could have implants to make his body appear thicker and more muscular? If he had already tried everything else feasible to sculpt himself, I think I would support him. That, I suppose, is why I'm not a hypocrite(?). That's essentially what my husband has told me about my surgery. That he supports this decision because he sees how hard I try to lose weight and to tighten my belly-- but to no avail.

Must go for now, as real life calls. But I'll be reading everyone's updates. So happy to have the outlet available on this site. Happy Healing!

It's a small world and a small Coobie

Yay. Only 4 weeks from today is the big day. Feels like a lifetime. I am SO over my Bombshell VS bra. Don't get me wrong, it's done me good, but wearing the dang thing is driving me crazy. I have to wear all crew necks because when I bend over the bra gaps wide open, to where my tiny little boobies are exposed for what they really are. *sigh* I'm still as obsessed as ever with reading RS reviews. Thanks to everyone who posts.
I had a talk with a new-ish friend the other day at the neighborhood pool while the kids were entertained. Just came out and told her. We were discussing some other family matters that became entertwined with the ps story. So I told her. To my surprise she told me that her mom had a TT and sister had a BA! It's a small world after all. It's starting to sink in that there are a lot of people out there who have done this. And more every day. So now I'm stealthily checking out women everywhere to see if they are PS patients as well. I probably look like a weirdo-perv. Maybe I should invest in a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Hee Hee.
It's about time to pay the balance on my procedure. Phew. Deep breath. This is a small car that I'm looking at. Holy sh*t. It makes my heart race just thinking of that. I'm so thankful that I have such a supportive husband. It would be good if I stopped buying stuff soon. I have quite a pile going in the spare bed room of stuff for this surgery. It's so fun to shop, I can hardly imagine when I can get new clothes and bras. I got a Coobie bra and panty set so I could do before and after shots. All before shots are just so painful! So I'll try to attach here just for the sake of my documentary...and for looking back at in 6 months. The bra was smaller rhan I expected. Not sure it will fit when I have bigger boobs. May have to go shopping again! Until next time...happy healing, everyone!

Oh my

Oh my. Curiosity got the best of me and I just finished watching YouTube videos of tummy tucks. I'm good with everything except the belly button thing. Gag. I have issues around touching my belly button, for some strange reason. If anyone knows, can you tell me why the original umbilicus is kept? Seems like it would be easier to just get rid of the original and make something new. Hmmm. Anyways, wow. Just wow. No wonder you're likely to be in such pain afterward. This, however, has not changed my mind. At all. I'm still going for it, wholeheartedly. And yes, still obsessed with this site! I sneak in little update readings any time I can!

Crying over complications

So, something has come up at work, and it's possible I will have to postpone my surgery. Unfortunately, some other things could make it September before I could reschedule. I thought I was just about done waiting, and now I could have to wait 2 1/2 more months?! That sounds like an eternity. I feel guilty for feeling upset about it, as I realize that my problems could be much worse, it's just that I'm ready to do this and get on with it. You all know what a scheduling nightmare this is. I've coordinated with my in-laws to take the kids, with my parents for when they will be able to visit, my work, my husbands work. Ugh. I am beside myself thinking of starting that task over again. And, the best thing about doing this in summer is that I can send my kids to their grandparents for the week so they don't have to see me immediately post op. If I change to September they'll be back in school. There's no option for not seeing me, they'll be exposed to a very scary mommy, not to mention my husband will have to take care of all of us. I know this would not be out of the norm for many people going into this surgery, but I was so pleased with the way it all worked out. Keep your fingers crossed, if you would, that this was just a mistake, and that I can still have surgery in July. I'm drowning in my pity puddle. More like a pity lake right now. Hopefully in my next update I'll be eating my words.

Big sigh of relief

Phew. Last week's work scare was enough drama for me for a while. In short, it's all sorted out and I can proceed with surgery on 7/6. I am so relieved. I couldn't imagine starting nearly over again after so much has gone into scheduling this.

Today I did a little more shopping, getting bedside lamps for the guest room. I plan to hang out in there for the first 4 days or so because my actual bed is so high and fluffy I fear I'd never be able to get out of it! Anyways, it's fun getting all my stuff ready. I know I've gotten a lot of deliveries from the Amazon guy recently, but it's nothing compared to all that I've heard some others buy for this. Hopefully being a cheapskate won't hurt TOO much. Will have to weigh in on that again in a couple of weeks.

So I got my current implants in 1999 when saline was the only way to go. I don't have any of the documentation from that surgery, which sucks for two reasons: we don't know my current implant size, and I don't have the anesthesia record. I have a ball park if how much bigger I think I want to go, but it sure would feel better knowing going into surgery what's the plan. I'm just worried for my spinning, racing brain, not for the actual outcome. I trust my doctor. Thank goodness. I also had an absolutely miserable time after the anesthesia last time. I vomited for two days, then needed to get rehydrated at the MD office. It sucked. And it HURT! I've given the office the heads up and they're giving me the ultra-no-vomiter package :). Again, I trust them, but it would've been nice to have the records. The previous office hasn't forwarded the records as requested. Argh. Oh well. Fingers crossed.

Happy healing to everyone before me, and happy day-counting to the rest.

Paid up and...almost ready to go

Got all paid up this week. Hard to believe I just spent the sum of a small car on my belly and boobs. I sure hope it's worth it.

I'm getting more nervous about what size implants to get. I'm not a tiny girl like i was when I got my current implants. I was 5'5" and 120 lbs, dripping wet. Now I'm maxing out the scale at about 175. My first implants are approx 250cc. I added 300cc of rice to sizers last night, and felt, well, mediocre. It could be that I have ginormous fake boobs now due to the VS Bombshell bra. Says it adds 2 cup sizes. It's not kidding. So I'm not sure if I've just gotten used to the size, if they're huge, if they're not huge but are proportionate, if I'm crazy. I don't know how to tell. My husband seemed to think that since I was considering 500-600ccs, that I should split the difference and stick with 550's. Any thoughts?

Almost there!

Almost to the big day. I only have one more day of work. As if I'm going to actually get anything accomplished next week! I front loaded my last work day with am meetings to make the time go by faster. My boss knows what I'm going out for, and is totally supportive. That's so cool. I'm pretty lucky.
This weekend we're taking the kids to my in-laws' where they'll stay for the next week. Another lucky thing. I'm really happy they're not going to see me immediately post op. I don't want to scare them. Did I already say what I've told them about surgery? I told my older son (10) that my muscles got stretched out when I was pregnant, and the doctor is going to fix them so that I can exercise better. It fits nicely with my Orange Theory Fitness membership. Any ways they have seen the guest room all set up, so they know something is going on. My son got worried when I told him I was going to be off work for two weeks. Poor thing.
I'm starting to get really nervous about the actual surgery and the post op pain. I filled all my prescriptions this week and have the Percocets front and center on the bathroom counter. What's the scoop with using a heating pad? I've heard that some people use them, but how does that interfere with swelling? I've also got ice packs for the boobies. When I had my initial BA 17 yrs ago I used frozen peas for ice packs. The smell of peas has made me sick ever since. Yuck.
Will post again once I've been marked up by the surgeon , assuming I have time. Happy healing to everyone! Have a nice holiday weekend!

Here we go

Ok, on the way to the surgical center. OMG. Huge butterflies in stomach feel more like terradactyls. Wish me luck. Wish my husband luck too. He'll need it at least as much as I do. See you on the flat side :)

I did it! Hooray!

I got to the surgical center at 9:30, and I would guess I entered the OR at abt 11. I was SUPER nervous about entering the OR, as I had anxiety due to work I used to do in ORs. The nurse and anesthetist walked me in and got me settled on the table. Just when I thought I was going to start freaking out from being strapped to the table, he must've given me the Fentanyl and Versed. Lovely fantastic drugs that I would love to hug the doc that created them. Seriously. So the next thing I remember they were trying to wake me in Recovery. I sipped some water, got into my button up nightie, and off we went back home!
I was still pretty groggy, so I don't remember most of it. Climbing the 15+ stairs up to the guest room was a challenge but manageable. I decided to recovery in our guest room because the bed is lower than our master bed. It worked out really well. It has an adjacent bathroom which was great. We didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night between setting the alarm for taking pain meds around the clock and needing to get up to pee.
Knock on wood- no nausea yet. Woo hoo! I have a scopalomine patch and took Emend the morning of surgery and I'm keeping everything down. The side effect to the Scop is a SUPER dry mouth. However, I'll take that a million times over nausea. All is well for now. Will try to post pics later today when I can get some. Happy healing!

Happiest shower ever!

I braved the shower today. It was tough, and impossible without the help of my husband. I had to sit down in a folding chair while he pulled off all of the bulky dressings because my legs were shaking so badly. I was wobbly, at best. But we powered through. I highly recommend the lanyard trick for holding the JP tubes. Otherwise they'd be all over the place without being pinned to the CG. Putting the CG back on after the shower was comical. It's like a huge pair of granny panties with clasps along one side which is then reinforced with a zipper. Thank goodness for my hubs. He's been wonderful.
I've attached my pics from today. My first reaction to my results is one of uncertainty. I love my boobs. I think they're going to be great, but I think my belly is still going to be rounded and not flat. It's impossible to be able to tell at this point :). I swore to myself that I would be nothing but patient but here I am, 48 hours after surgery and I'm worried about results. Funny. That's funny to me. I can't get the photos to upload correctly, so here's try #1. Wishing you all happy healing or happy dreaming :)

Pics from yesterday

Here are some pics from my first follow up appt post op. They said it's hard to tell anything because I'm so swollen right now. I totally expected that, but wasn't sure if I was seeing it or not. I couldn't identify swell hell on my own body! So anyways everything looked good and I got all the bandages and tape removed again. Spent most of the day on the couch after that visit. Trying to figure out the best way to get up and lay down on my own, as my husband has gone back to work. It's painful getting up without anyone's assistance!! It burns very deeply.
Last night I got all propped up on the wedges for sleeping. Woke up at 2 for pain meds (stay on them around the clock! It's worth getting up in the middle of the night for them!) but then was not tired so I fidgeted and wiggled around until I was laying flat next to my husband. Yay. I miss sleeping with him! So yesterday at the doctors office we discussed that in order to take my drain(s) out my output would have to be lower. So I measured just the 24 hours again this am and called it in to the nurse, Lorrie, who told me to go back and take it easy on the couch! She said by my drainage it looks like I'm doing too much, and that I need to go rest. I was surprised! I made a sandwich and a coffee so far in the day. I hadn't even had enough time to do too much. But, I want that thing out, so sit on the couch I will. Been binge watching episodes of Botched. Why am I addicted to that show?! Must be off for now, the kids are home for a second before heading out all night. Gotta go get my hugs in while I can. Happy healing to all of you in post op, and Happy day-counting to all of you who are patiently waiting.

The drains remain

Turns out that since my drains had too much output on Thursday, I get to keep them all weekend. I've about had enough with them. Hopefully by my return visit in Monday they'll be coming out. While getting showered and dressed this am I nearly pulled one of them out. It got caught on the cupboard handle and really got yanked hard when I turned to go into the closet. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
I also changed from Percocet to Tylenol yesterday am due to suspected interaction with my current meds for anxiety and ocd. I called my doctor because i was having these weird twitching/jerking movements mostly in my legs, but in my arms and trunk as well. She thinks there could be some interaction, but it's hard to tell because there hasnt been much studying of those two meds working together. I was afraid of having some sort of permanent change or damage. So, I switched to only Tylenol, and I can really tell the difference. It hurts. A bunch. I think it's worse than my c-sections because the area is so much bigger. It's harder to go from laying to sitting than it was with the c-section. The pain is like a deep burning ache, if you haven't had a c-section before. :). I have been very lucky, as the lipo sites of flanks and lower back flank areas have really calmed down. They seriously hurt the first couple of days. Kinda gross to think of why. Looking forward to that pain further subsiding, as I miss snuggling my kids without having to worry about it. The kids approach me so tentatively now, and I hate that. The other day my son was sitting with me and he bumped the JP drain plug closure and it came out which was,of course accompanied by a sucking sound. Scared the heck out of him for a second, then he got curious and wanted to see it. The answer there has been a strict "no". I am pretty open, and will not hesitate to show friends etc the scars, but not with the kids. I'm happy with them just knowing that mom had her stomach muscles fixed. They seem to be happy with that as well.
Will update pics with the next post. Happy healing everyone!

Updated pics

Got some pics this am while getting ready. I couldn't stand it last night and washed my cg. My husband needs to help me get it on. So I got pics this am, but with that dang cg in the way. I am very happy with the results. I love, love, love my boobs. I don't know the cup size yet, but don't really care what it is. They even out my top to my bottom, and that's what I really wanted. My belly still has a lot of swelling, swell hell is in full swing...but I tried in some of my old "skinny clothes". Something from a summer or two ago, and couldn't believe how good it looked. Hooray. I really can't wait to go shopping. This is a dream come true.
Here are some pics of my incisions and my belly button. The belly button looks a bit icky. Hopefully we can clean that up on Monday. I'm hesitant to dig around in there too much. I'm so thankful that things are healing smoothly.

Back to work

Well, it's finally here. Back to work. I'm a bit nervous about how I'll do at work for 8 hours. I'm afraid of the swelling. So- fingers crossed that my body is more prepared than my mind is for this hurdle. Best wishes to everyone.

Coobie comparison

The dark one is pre-op, the white from this am. The swelling is for real. Very uncomfortable. I'm trying to keep activity to a minimum while at work, but it's been hard to do. Thanks for all of the support. I appreciate it. It's pretty fun being on the flat side;)

In stitches

Things have been going very well. Certainly can't complain! I'm tired of being hard and swollen at the end of the day. I like how I look in the am better than I like the afternoon and evening swelling. Oh well. I understand that this will just take patience.
Yesterday after my shower I noticed what I thought was some dead or dry skin coming from my incision. However, it didn't budge when I firmly wiped it with a towel. I took a closer look, and it looks like white thread! I emailed this pic to the md, and they quickly responded that all was fine. That I'm "popping a stitch". She said it will just work its way out. Weird. Gotta get back to work! Happy healing!
Raleigh-Durham Plastic Surgeon

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
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4 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
4 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
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