6 weeks post op and feeling fantastic!

Hi All, I'm hoping that by starting this account it will help me mentally through this process. A little background on me... I'm 35 and I have 18 month old twins. I've always been on the thin side- due mostly to a lot of nervous energy... and never had much on top. I didn't mind though, they were what they were and I thought I was proportional and fit and that's what mattered. I am 5' 5" and about 115 lbs.

When I was pregnant with my twins I carried all in front. My doctor said I measured at 11 months pregnant for a singleton. I carried my babies past full term for twins and overall I carried 12lbs of baby.

In addition to my giant stomach my boobs grew enormous (for me anyhow) I was an A cup before pregnancy, a B during pregnancy and a very full C when my milk came in. After I got done nursing and lost all of my baby weight the sight of my naked body was like a punch in the face. The skin on my stomach hangs and is covered in stretch marks and my belly button is now a half inny half outie. Very unattractive. My boobs are just as bad. The best word to describe them is “deflated”. If anyone ever told you that small boobs don’t sag they are lying.

To make matters worse I had to have a benign tumor roved from one of my breasts and it took them several attempts to remove it all. What’s left can only be termed “frankenboob”. All of this being said… I still try to keep fit but several doctors have told me that only surgery will repair my diastasis. It always irks me that if surgery is my only option, why doesn’t insurance cover it? But that is another blog for another website.

I went to have a plastic surgery consultation six months ago and got the mommy makeover lowdown, but because of my tumor removal I will have to go back in. I have an appointment next month and hope to schedule my surgery for June.

I have a lot of feelings about this… guilt for spending so much money… guilt for asking my mom to take time off of work to help me…guilt at being “out of commission” for so long for my kids… but at the same time I know that my depression over my appearance is not good for me or anyone else.

Here’s to the beginning of yet another transformation. I’ll let you know how the consultation goes.